Soldier

by AKM Miles

  Dillon went to him and took his hand, like leading one of the children, into the shower. Soldier let out a groan as hot water washed over his worn body. Sore muscles, tense for so long, began to loosen under Dillon’s soapy massage. He had to put his hands out to the wall to hold himself and lock his knees to stay upright. He let the water pound his head and shoulders as Dillon proceeded to wash him from head to toes.

  Dillon didn’t miss a spot, but he didn’t linger and tease as he would have in better circumstances. Dillon encouraged Soldier to step out and he dried him off carefully, finally asking him lean on the counter so he wouldn’t fall over.

  Once Soldier was dry, Dillon pulled him into the room. He had found some sweats and a T-shirt for Soldier to wear to see the boys and then to sleep in. He helped Soldier step into them. Through all of this, they didn’t talk.

  “Dillon. Thank you. I don’t know when I’ve been so tired.”

  “Soldier. You’re welcome. I love you... with all my heart.” At the knock on the door, Dillon went to open it and took the tray from the man and locked the door again.

  Soldier perked up at the smell of bacon. Oh my God, food. He wolfed down the BLT and fries and smiled when he saw the orange juice. He couldn’t seem to get enough of it. Thankfully, there were two large glasses. He began to feel human again.

  He put the tray aside and pulled Dillon onto his lap. This time, he put his hands on Dillon’s face and held him still for another kiss. Oh, sweet heaven. Dessert. He wasn’t as wild this time, but he took what he needed and gave back enough to get them through until they could spend some real time together. He moved his lips over Dillon’s face and down to his neck, licking and sucking and tasting Dillon's skin.

  “I know. We need to go to the boys. I know. I just had to have a taste. God, I love you.” Soldier wished he had the words to tell Dillon how much the man meant to him. He smiled, thinking about how Dillon had taken care of him earlier. “I was so scared. I’m so thankful it wasn’t worse. I’ll tell you all the details later. Now, let’s see the boys. I bet Gom needs a hug.”

  “Oh, yeah. I think I’ll bring them in here for a little while, and then we’ll all go back over there and let you sleep.”

  “Wish I could hold you while I sleep. But, no, that’s later. But soon, dear God, it’s got to be soon.”

  “I hear you. Get ready. I’m gonna bring ‘em in and they’ve all been so worried about you. You might want to get up on the bed where there’s room for everyone. They’re all going to have to see you, touch you, to know that you’re really all right,” Dillon warned.

  Soldier was sitting in the middle of the bed when the door opened, and he saw Gom’s wet eyes first. The little boy leaned just his head in to make sure it was all right. Gom seemed afraid to come in any farther.

  “I sure could use a hug.” Soldier opened his arms.

  Gom ran and jumped on the bed, sobbing, “Soldier, Soldier, Soldier...” He couldn’t seem to stop saying it as he covered Soldier’s face with kisses. He finally wound down and wrapped his arms around Soldier’s neck, laid his face on Soldier’s shoulder and wailed. He cried and cried, great sobs and scalding tears, hiccups and sniffs.

  Finally! Soldier cradled Gom and had tears in his own tired eyes as he realized that something had cracked in Gom, and the boy was crying out loud. Safe. Gom knew they were both safe and that allowed him to let loose. His little hand kept coming up to pat Soldier’s face.

  Soldier looked over and saw that the others were waiting silently. He could tell they were shocked to hear Gom’s sobs, too. They knew there was something wrong when someone cried so much, but never with any sound. He gestured for them all to come on up. They scrambled onto the bed. He reached out to touch each of them. Ben’s lip was quivering and Soldier touched it and winked at him.

  “It’s okay. I’m okay. We’re all together. I’m tired from working all day, but I’ll be fine after a nap.” God, Soldier loved these kids. “What say we all go out for supper at that same buffet we went to last night? Anybody want to?” He was amazed that they were all so quiet.

  They all nodded and somehow each one managed to touch him in some way, a hand on his shoulder, a touch on his knee, a rub on his arm. He was their lodestone. They seemed to feel better after assuring themselves he was okay. Tommy held back and let the others get their reassurances. He was very solemn. Soldier looked over at Dillon and nodded to Tommy. Dillon shrugged and started to gather the others up, leaving Soldier with Tommy and Gom.

  “I’ll go and let you sleep. You look real tired,” Tommy said.

  “Not yet. Gom, baby, will you let me talk to Tommy a minute? Then I’m gonna sack out. Thank you all for being so good in there. I’ll be with you in a few hours. I promise.”

  Gom had settled down into sighs and hiccups. He pulled out of Soldier’s neck and smiled through all those tears. He patted Soldier's face again and leaned to kiss his scarred cheek. Soldier took it as the blessing it was. Gom scrambled down and went with Dillon and the others.

  “What’s on your mind, Tommy?” Soldier asked quietly.

  “It was him, wasn’t it?” Tommy said, his head down.

  “I think so. I think I saw him in the back of the yard when I was moving the truck. He left a gas can so we know it was started on purpose.” Soldier hated what this was going to do to Tommy. “I won’t lie to you. If they catch him, he’ll go to jail. Maybe her, too, if she helped him.”

  “I don’t care about them. I’m sorry about your house. It’s my fault. They’re mad at me, 'cause I won’t go back, and they tried to kill us all, Soldier.” Tears were now on Tommy's face, running in a steady stream. “I have to leave. I can’t let anything happen 'cause of me. What if... what if... it’s all cause of me.” He shut down then, just sort of folded his arms around himself and closed himself off. No way was Soldier allowing that.

  “Hop up here. That’s a bunch of crap. You hear me? Don’t you even think it’s your fault. Maybe it’s my fault 'cause I threatened him last night. Maybe I should leave, so you all will be safe.” Soldier could see Tommy shake his head, getting ready to say something, but he went on. “If you leave, they win. We can’t let that happen. You are safer, healthier, happier here than you’ve ever been, right? Yeah, I know. You are not to think it’s your fault.” He kept having to tell kids that their parents were scum, not them. It was a fucked-up world.

  “They’re bad people. I’m sorry for that, but it certainly isn’t your fault. Is it Gom’s fault his mother took drugs and hurt him?” At Tommy’s wide-eyed head shake, Soldier went on, “Of course not. Some people are just bad, Tommy, and it’s not a child’s fault when a parent is bad.” Soldier put his hand on Tommy’s shoulder and squeezed. “You promise me you won’t think of leaving us. We really couldn’t do without you. We love you and need you here to make us all a complete group. Okay?”

  Tommy nodded and raised his face at last. He looked a little stronger and more settled. He scooted up a little and raised his arms to Soldier for a hug.

  Soldier embraced him and hugged him hard. “You’re such a good, strong boy. We love you, Tommy. It would mean a lot to me if you would sing for us tonight before we go to bed. It’s just what we need to calm down and settle into being safe and together.” Soldier knew Tommy needed to help in some way, small though it was, to make up for his feeling of responsibility. He’d have to find other ways to keep the boy from thinking of leaving. “I think we’re staying here one more night, and then we’ll all go out and find what we need tomorrow. I’ll need your help.”

  “I’ll help you. And I’ll sing for you all tonight. I... I love you, too, Soldier, I think. I never knew what that meant. Love, I mean. Gom says it a lot. But, I think it’s what I feel for you all, like I wouldn’t be... right inside without you all. Is that right?” Tommy looked to Soldier for confirmation of his feelings.

  “Just about right. None of us would be right inside without you with us. You’re a smart kid, too. Run on, now. I’m about t
o flake out. It’s been a really long couple of days, huh?”

  “Yeah. You rest. I’m gonna tell Dillon to come back in here for a while, 'til you go to sleep. I’ll watch the others. We’re just watching TV... cartoons. I know you all aren’t gonna... you know... but I think he needs to be with you a little. He was really worried about you.”

  “God, you’re an old twelve. Thank you. I’d like to talk to Dillon before I fall asleep and tell him about some of the stuff from this morning and what we have planned for tomorrow. I’m glad we have you, Tommy. You’re a great kid.” Soldier’s words were becoming slurred as he felt exhaustion taking over.

  In just a few minutes, Dillon slipped back into the room and came over to Soldier. He pushed Soldier over, pulled the covers back on the side of the bed, then rolled him over onto the clean sheets, covering him up. Then he went around and slipped into the other side. He reached out and took Soldier into his arms and smiled when Soldier rested against him, his face in Dillon’s neck.

  “I’ll leave in a bit. I just want to hold you, breathe the same air. I want to feel your heart beat. Rest now.” He cradled his large man against him and watched him breathe.

  Soldier simply said, “Oh, God.”

  He was out like a light and didn’t move for five hours.

  Chapter Twelve

  Dillon had the boys ready for supper out when Soldier showed up at their door at about six. He opened their door and saw eight smiling faces. He held out his arms. He felt whole again. All was right in his messed up world.

  The staff at the buffet was tickled to see them back and, when the boys told them what happened, they got the royal treatment. The kids ate like pigs and ended with specially made sundaes for each. Dillon and Soldier put away a fair amount themselves.

  They would go back to the hotel and talk, all nine of them, about what was going to happen next. They were all a unit. They had called Officer Jansen, who’d lost the name Asshole when he offered to help with the dogs. Soldier told him they were staying there one more night and asked if he would arrange to board the dogs somewhere, and the man had again surprised him by offering to keep them until they had a place. Would wonders never cease?

  They invited Daniel over for the meeting and pretty soon, there were ten of them sitting on couches, cots, bed, and floor. The boys all listened avidly as the three men discussed what would be best for all.

  Soldier figured these kids had been thrown away and tossed around enough, without ever knowing where they were going or what was going to happen to them. That was over. They didn’t interrupt, but they were very interested and it was evident that they were happy to be in on the planning.

  Soldier, Dillon, and Daniel discussed the rebuilding that had now changed in size and focus. Soldier would get in touch with the construction company he’d hired tomorrow and let them know new plans would have to be drawn up. The boys would get to help with some of the details. How cool was that?

  Daniel was seeing to the legalities of making it a bona fide sanctuary for boys. The name would be Scarcity Sanctuary and would still be an off-shoot of Daniel’s shelter. They decided they didn’t want to be state-run and have no say in who came or why. They liked working through Daniel. It was to be funded by Soldier through a separate foundation. Dillon would be director and Soldier would be listed as founder and assistant to the director. This would all have to be hammered out by lawyers and authorities, but Daniel would help with that, and Soldier had the lawyers and Dillon had the kids.

  Soldier took a few minutes to ask the boys for ideas about the new building and what it should have. Ideas poured forth, some wild, but some that were very smart and showed that the boys were thinking about needs, not just wants. These boys had been through so much, lost so much, and hurt so much. Soldier found that they were surprisingly unmaterialistic. They just wanted food, safety, and love. That was enough. Anything else was just gravy, for them.

  Soldier stepped out -- to go to the bathroom, he said -- but he called down to room service and asked if they had a big cake he could have decorated and sent up with lots of cold milk. They said they had just the thing, and asked what he wanted it to say. He found out it was a sheet cake, so he asked if they could put everyone’s name on it and divide it into ten pieces. He rattled off all the names and went back to the group. Dillon raised an eyebrow, showing he could tell something was up. Soldier just smiled.

  When the knock came at the door, Soldier sent Gom to answer it. The look on the little boy’s face would forever live in his heart. It took very little to thrill these kids.

  “Soldier, it’s a cake! A big cake. For us? And milk. Lots of milk. Oh, boy.” Gom turned and Soldier was right there to catch him. He got a strong hug from the happy boy and ushered the room service waiter inside. In just a few minutes, they each had a plate with a large piece of cake with their name on it and a big glass of milk. Even Daniel and Dillon were looking mighty happy.

  Soldier sat and looked at the group and smiled when Gom brought him over a big piece with “Soldier” on it. There was near silence for a while, with only a few “Mmmmm’s” and “Good’s” and clinking of forks and smacking of lips. After the sundaes at supper, they would all be on sugar overload, but they’d deal with it. It felt good to make them this happy. Cake and milk and safety and contentment were such normal things, but new to these boys.

  It made Soldier’s heart turn over to see them enjoying themselves. Gom offered the rest of his cake to Tommy, who looked over at Randy first to see if he wanted it. Ben had given Randy the rest of his, the little ones unable to finish the big pieces. These boys were loving and giving, and it amazed Soldier every day that they were that way after what they’d been through.

  Before long, hugs were dispensed and sleeping arrangements figured out. Soldier and Dillon each had boys in cots in their room, but Gom ended up in bed with Soldier. He crawled up and looked at Soldier and whispered, “What if I pee on this big bed?”

  Soldier touched his nose, got up and went into the bathroom and grabbed a couple of big towels. They were as long as Gom’s body. He spread them out and Gom laid down right on them and smiled up at him. Before long, there were two more little bodies up with them. Soldier scooted over and lay very still all night, glad the kids could sleep. He got a good night’s rest, though he really didn’t sleep too much. Once, he heard Gom whisper, “Soldier, I gotta pee.”

  “Come on, buddy, I’ll take you in there.” Soldier lifted the boy straight up from the bed and took him into the big bathroom. He leaned on the counter while Gom took care of business. He smiled when Gom came up beside him and reached to wash his hands. He lifted Gom so the boy could reach the sink, helped him dry them, and carried him back to the bed.

  “Good boy,” Soldier said as he settled Gom back onto the big bed.

  ***

  Early the next morning, Soldier slipped out of the room, leaving three sleeping boys in his bed. He went next door and found that Dillon, too, was awake. He motioned for him to come out into the hall. He wanted to take him right into his arms, but he knew that was out of the question. He looked down to the end of the hall and saw a couch.

  “Let’s get that and bring it right here between the rooms and we’ll talk and be able to listen to both rooms.” They did just that and sat for a while talking about their plans, how best to execute them with seven boys in tow. Soldier told Dillon about seeing the man in the yard and that Daniel and the police knew it. The fire was obviously arson. He told Dillon about Tommy’s fears and how he had tried to ease Tommy's mind about leaving them. They talked about Gom crying loudly all over Soldier last night. They smiled at being so happy the kid had bawled like a baby.

  “He’s healing, Soldier. You have helped him so much. He might have gotten there, but you accelerated his improvement. He connected with you immediately and you’ve made him feel safe enough to be normal. He’s gonna be all right.”

  “We need to take him to a doctor about the burns, Dillon. Like really soon. I wan
t to know that he’s not physically bothered by them. I don’t think he is, but hell, what do I know?” Granted, Soldier was learning every day how to deal with some really different situations, but he had a long way to go.

  “You make a great father figure. Bet you never dreamed you’d be that, huh? Gom and Tommy are good character judges. Tommy was a little harder to win over, but look where he was coming from. You’re right, though, Gom needs to see a doctor and we need to know if there’s anything else we need to do for him.” Dillon said.

  “I’ll take him, if you want, and I’ll stay with him the whole time so he won’t be scared, but he reported it to me in good faith, and I don’t want him to think I’d tell just anybody.” Soldier would never do anything to lose the love and faith Gom had in him.

  “He’ll do fine with you there with him.”

  “I want a clean bill of health for him. Plus, I want it on record that he told me and I took it straight to a doctor. I don’t ever want anyone to question anything about what we do with these kids. Everything needs to be above board.” Soldier went a little further with his plans. “I want us to be able to live in that big house together with the kids. What do you think about coming clean with them and just being together? I don’t mean we’d do anything in front of them, just live together. Could they handle it? Could it be okay?” Wouldn’t it be wonderful?