Say Love (Lost & Found #2)

by C. L. Stacey

  Converting back to business mode, I turn to where Ari is awaiting our next instruction, my eyes appraising. She’s made it easy for us in a form-fitting tank top, dark skinny jeans, and heels.

  “Did you get the swimsuit memo?” Lena pipes up beside me. Ari nods. Then Lena lifts her hand, gesturing for her to proceed.

  Ari steps out of her heels and strips down to her suit, and I lean back in my seat, my arms folding over my chest.

  While I silently look her over, I take into consideration the changes she’s undergone over the years. As a young girl, Ari has always been on the lankier side. I remember her trying to bulk up a little for cheerleading the summer before her freshman year, but no matter what she did, she couldn’t put on any weight. That is no longer the case; her body has filled out very nicely since then.

  The flash goes off every so often, and I notice how comfortable she is in front of the lens. No surprise there; she’s done this before. She has a pretty good idea of how all this works, so there’s really no reason for her to be nervous.

  I watch her hands move across her body in between different poses, and my gaze automatically drops when she slowly turns halfway around, following Lena’s command.

  While I love all the wonderful parts that make up a woman’s body, I’m an ass man.

  “A model with an ass I can respect,” Lena comments, just loud enough for me to hear.

  An excellent point I cannot argue; it’s the first thing I noticed when Ari turned around after all. My eyes are still glued to the soft curve of her backside. Her “respectable ass” is perky and round. Not too big, not too small.

  Lena’s been in search for the right type of ass all day, one that will fill the jeans the way her mind’s eye envisions it. No one wants to see a flat ass on a billboard, she said.

  So far, Ari is the first to satisfy that vision.

  When my mind starts taking me places I don’t want to go, I sit back up and clear my throat, diverting my attention to Ari’s file in front of me. My gaze shifts when Lena pulls a few things, splaying some snapshots of Ari across the table.

  We like what we see. She gives good face. Lena’s established that she gives good ass. Liz makes a few positive comments about Ari to Lena and myself, pointing out a bunch of things I’m already thinking.

  While Ari does fit the model profile, I am a bit confused by her sudden change in career choice. I look up from the photos to ask. “What happened to Juilliard, Ari?”

  My question prompts her to turn back around, and something changes. The light in Ari’s eyes noticeably dulls, and her smile fades just before she shrugs off my question. “Change of plans.”

  My eyebrows lift on my forehead when her vague response only triggers another question. “And how does Carl and Jane feel about that?” I ask of her parents, once again steering us off topic.

  Last I checked, her plans were to enter Juilliard’s dance program. She loved to dance.

  My question prompts her to shrug again. “They were a little bummed, but it was ultimately my choice to make.”

  Our photographer continues to take what he needs, the bright flash illuminating her skin every time it goes off.

  “You’re sure this is what you want to do?” I pry. “Life will get busy real fast if you choose to go down this road.”

  She takes a moment to think about what I’m asking and then she nods. “There are some things in my life I’d like to change.”

  The answer brings a frown to my face. “What things?”

  Ari shakes her head. “Just that I’m eager to get out there and start living my life.”

  Something about the way she delivers that response seems… rehearsed. But I don’t comment on it. Instead, I turn and lean in toward Lena. “What do you think?”

  Lena drops her gaze from Ari to the photos on the table. “I mean,” she gestures toward them, “she’s fucking beautiful.”

  “But?”

  “She’s young.”

  “She is,” I agree.

  “But I love her, I think.”

  “You think?”

  “I know.”

  Ideally, in this business, we like to start the girls young. It gives them time to build their name. But knowing Ari as well as I used to, I don’t know…

  She had a dream completely separate from modeling.

  Will she take it seriously? We aren’t hiring her for a single shoot. Landing this job will mean representing a brand. Is she ready for this?

  Physically speaking, Ari makes sense. As long as she’s sure she wants to do this, I just don’t see why not. “Keep her file close and think on this decision a little while longer,” I suggest to Lena, then I offer a reassuring smile Ari’s way before adding, “If she’s serious about signing with Runway Models, she’s not going anywhere anytime soon. Let me know what decision you land on. I think she’d be good for it.”

  Lena nods. Liz also offers her vote with a silent nod.

  “Very good,” I say before I stand. “Ari, we’ll be in touch when we come to an official decision,” I tell her. She nods in understanding. “But in the meantime, let’s discuss your future with Runway Models. You free?”

  Her nod is more enthusiastic this time, a smile instantly brightening her features.

  A week later, after we’d seen a few hundred more, Lena had reached a decision. She knew without a doubt that she had to have Ari. The rest just didn’t compare.

  Unbeknownst to me, a few months later, I would come to the same exact conclusion.

  We want Ari. It is a unanimous decision.

  Ari’s the perfect choice. There was really no question about that, we just wanted to be sure. After we made the final decision, I wanted to deliver the good news in person, so I pulled the listed address from her file.

  Now, here I am, in my car outside the Archibald Tower. She has no clue that I’m even here.

  It’s a nice building for a nineteen-year-old dropout, and I find myself wondering how the hell she manages to afford this place on my way up to the fortieth floor.

  I patiently wait when it takes her a minute to respond to my knock, then I hear the bolt turn just before Ari cracks the door open.

  The connecting chain stops the door from opening all the way, and her eyes widen when they settle on my face. “Caleb?”

  “Hey.” I grin. “Let me in, I have something I need to talk to you about.”

  My request to be invited in causes her gaze to shift from mine, and it lands on something behind the door.

  “This a bad time?”

  “Um…” Ari bites into her lip, pondering her decision. “Hold on.” She closes the door, unlatching the chain before opening it again. And I freeze.

  There’s this thing I do. It’s a habit of mine. Ever since I was a young boy, I’ve always calculated my way through complicated situations, to try and make sense of what I’m dealing with. Like right now. I don’t understand what I’m looking at. It’s beyond complicated. So, I do the math in my head.

  Dropping out of Juilliard.

  Change of plans.

  The pair of silver eyes staring at me…

  Only this pair belongs to a pint-sized version of Ari.

  “Is that a fucking baby?” I blurt.

  “Shhh!” she shushes me, scolding me with her eyes as her hand comes to snuggle the baby’s head close to her chest. “Language, Caleb, watch your mouth.”

  Then I add another very important detail to the equation: The expensive apartment building I know she can’t afford on her own…

  “You’re married?” I ask.

  That can’t be right… is that right? How old do you have to be to get married these days? Like thirty, right? Isn’t there some kind of law that prevents a nineteen-year-old from getting married? The idea alone is enough to twist my stomach. She’s too fucking young to be married.

  Ari’s eyes cloud with confusion before they quickly come to understand my question. “No.” She shakes her head. “Just come inside. Close and lock the door
behind you.” She turns away from me, and I follow her inside.

  Questions, I have so many of them, but I do what she says, first closing and locking the door behind me, and then I follow her into the living room. I watch silently as she picks up a bottle from the coffee table before claiming her seat on the couch.

  Soft sucking sounds immediately follow when Ari brings the nipple of the bottle to the baby’s mouth, and she smiles just before pressing a kiss against its nose.

  I unbutton the front of my jacket before claiming the seat a cushion away from hers. “Is it yours?” I’m the first to break the peaceful silence.

  Ari’s eyes leave the baby, rolling slowly over to meet mine. “I didn’t give birth to her, if that’s what you mean.”

  That brings me some sense of relief, and I finally allow myself to relax, relieving some of the tension in my shoulders.

  “But I’ve been taking care of her since the day she was born.” She smiles down at the baby again. “So, yea, I guess you could say that she’s mine.”

  “Are you her nanny or some shit?” When her eyes flash back to mine in a silent warning, I apologize. “Sorry. Habit. It slipped.”

  “No, I’m not,” she answers my question, but doesn’t offer me any more than that.

  “Ari…” I look over my shoulder, scanning my surroundings before coming full circle back to her. “Did you steal this baby?”

  A small laugh bursts from Ari’s lips following my question. “No, Caleb.”

  “Can you please explain to me why you live here with a baby, then? Why are you being so vague about it?”

  Ari rests her forehead against the baby’s, and it responds with a soft fussing noise. “She’s Aryn’s daughter.”

  My eyes peel way back, growing rounder when her answer takes me by surprise. “This is Aryn and Kayli’s baby?” I smile, peeking down at the tiny face again.

  No wonder the kid looks so much like Ari. They are related, just not in the way I thought.

  I can’t believe they have a baby. Then again, yes, I can.

  I remember when Aryn first laid eyes on Kayli, sitting in the back row of the auditorium in our Economics class. He went from sleeping around campus to pussy-whipped overnight. She had him wrapped around her finger since day one.

  They got married after graduation; I was his best man, and Ari was Kayli’s maid of honor. I moved out to LA shortly after that.

  I look around the home again. “Where’s Kayli? I’d like to say hi, it’s been a while.”

  There are tears in Ari’s eyes when I come back around to her face. She’s trying to hide it from me by watching Ayli, but I’m not blind, she’s clearly crying.

  “You can’t,” she tells me.

  “Why not? They split up?”

  Ari clears her throat, forcing her bangs aside with a small movement of her head. “Kayli died, just minutes after giving birth to Ayli.”

  Just a second ago, I thought the worst possible thing that could’ve happened between the couple was a divorce. I never would’ve guessed Kayli died at such a young age. Young people aren’t supposed to die. They’re supposed to live until they’ve seen and done it all.

  “She what?” I whisper, lowering my head to level my gaze with Ari’s, but she won’t look at me. She keeps her eyes fixed on Ayli’s tiny face.

  “Complications…” Ari shrugs, and the first set of tears make their way down her cheeks.

  “Oh, God… I’m…” I pause when I can barely wrap my head around the information.

  “I’m so sorry to hear that…”

  It sucks. It’s a pathetic response. I’m devastated. Kayli was my friend, too. But I’m not sure that there is a right thing to say here; someone is fucking dead.

  Then I notice something else, someone else who’s notably missing. “Where’s Aryn?”

  Fear grips me when the darkest thoughts fill my head. People do the craziest things when they lose someone they love, things impossible to come back from. I haven’t seen my friend in years, so there’s no way for me to know for sure without asking Ari.

  I hate that. I regret it so much now.

  Ari’s tears keep coming, and I feel sick.

  “Ari… where’s Aryn?” I ask again.

  “Working.” She sniffles, and I breathe out a huge sigh of relief. “He’s always traveling… never here.”

  How can he never be here? His daughter is here.

  I frown. “Doesn’t he miss the baby while he’s away?”

  Finally meeting my gaze, Ari tries her best to provide me with an answer. “He won’t…” she stops for a minute, biting into her lip to keep from sobbing. “He won’t come near Ayli.”

  “He what?”

  Finally succumbing to her emotions, Ari pulls away to avoid letting any of her tears wet the baby’s face. I scoot down the couch and offer Ari my shoulder, letting her cry into it, and my hand naturally comes up to cradle the back of her head to me.

  My fingers run a soothing trail through her hair. “What the hell do you mean he won’t come near her?”

  “He won’t acknowledge her. Even when he’s home, he won’t hold her.”

  That’s fucking horrible, and I should say something in return, but I don’t know what’s appropriate and what’s crossing the line. I know Aryn, and he’s not a horrible person. Whatever his reasons may be I’m sure he’s got them, but I don’t want to sit here and defend his decision to neglect his child.

  What the hell do I do?

  My body answers for me when my head reflexively turns toward hers, my lips pressing against the top of her head in a simple act of comfort. “It’s going to be okay,” I say into her hair, shushing her softly.

  I have no idea why I said that, I don’t know if everything’s going to be okay. Why did I say that?

  “I want to help him, Caleb. I just don’t know how…”

  “I kinda think you’re doing it, kid. You’re a natural with her,” I praise her. “You’re here and caring for her. That’s all she needs right now.”

  Ari angles her head down, resting her forehead against my shoulder to peek down at Ayli. “I can try to be a mom for her, but I can’t be her dad, too. He’s missing out on everything…” she says tearfully. “She’s already three and a half months old. That is precious time he will never get back with her. I went to that casting call to prove a point, to try and scare him a little so that he’d be forced to watch her—for just a few hours, at least.” She stops to sniffle. “He hired a sitter while I was gone, Caleb.” Then she shakes her head. “I can’t leave her. Not until he comes to his senses.”

  If I were literally anyone else, I’d have a million things to say, things that could provide her at least some comfort. I’m out of my fucking depth here.

  No bullshit, it feels like the entire night rolls by, and I still haven’t offered anything nice or meaningful to say.

  Before I can come up with something to fill the heavy silence, Ari pulls away.

  “Sorry.” She sets the empty bottle down on the coffee table, then offers me a small, apologetic smile as she props Ayli up against her shoulder.

  “What are you apologizing for?”

  Ari steadily drums an open hand against Ayli’s back. “Crying all over your jacket.” She nods down to my shoulder where her head was just resting. “For crying at all.” Her apologetic smile transforms into one of embarrassment.

  “I don’t give a fu-dge,” I catch my almost mistake, “about my jacket, Ari. I’ve got a million others just like it.” I crack a smile. “Plus, you were always a crybaby. I’m used to it.” I come to immediately regret my ill-timed humor when Ari’s smile fades away.

  Keeping up the steady tempo against Ayli’s back, Ari says, “Yes, but it was far less embarrassing back then. I’m not a baby anymore, Caleb.”

  No, she most certainly is not. Watching Ari with Ayli makes it clearer to me… sometime during the past three years, Ari had grown into a responsible, loving, and caring woman. In that same time, Aryn had g
rown into a man, and he’s created a beautiful family. Just because Kayli isn’t physically here doesn’t mean that she’s gone. I see so much of her in Ayli. He needs to know that.

  I know a thing or two about loss, but nothing about death. I will not sit here and try to understand his pain, because I don’t know the first thing about it.

  Our attention shifts when Ayli burps quietly.

  “I’ll be right back. I’m going to change her diaper and try putting her down.”

  I nod, but she’d already turned her back to me.

  I haven’t even gotten to the good news I wanted to give her. But after what she just said about not being able to leave Ayli, I have a strong feeling she will turn our offer down.

  About twenty minutes later, Ari returns to the living room, and I force a smile. “She sleeping?”

  “Yea.” She pulls the burp cloth off her shoulder before reclaiming her seat next to me on the couch. “So, what’s up, Caleb? What’re you doing here?”

  “I, uh…” I breathe a laugh, scratching the back of my head. “You got it.”

  Ari frowns when she doesn’t get it right away. “I’m sorry?”

  “The job, kid. You got the job,” I clarify.

  “Oh.” The lack of enthusiasm in her reaction is exactly what I expected, but it doesn’t help repress the disappointment.

  Barely giving my news a moment to settle at all, Ari regards me with a regretful look.

  And here comes the rejection, I predict.

  “I’m sorry, Caleb, but I don’t think I can take it.”

  After Ari rejected the job offer, I ended up extending my trip. My flight back to LA was scheduled for this morning, but I couldn’t just leave. My motives for staying behind may seem questionable to some, but I’m not only here to secure her for the job. I’m genuinely worried for her.

  I’m not sure how much help I’ll be, but it can’t hurt to try.

  Liz and Bethany, my assistant, can hold the fort while I’m gone. If the situation should call for it, I’m only a plane ride away. An extension of my leave won’t hurt anybody. It’s just a few weeks.

  My reasons for staying also include Aryn. Actually, he’s one of the biggest reasons. There’s a lot I need to talk to him about, so I’m hoping to sit down with him before I leave.