Stranded in Paradise

by Unknown

  “You have to stop blaming yourself,” Brian says. “Until you do, you’re not going to heal.”

  He’s right.

  I love that he’s right, but I also hate that he’s right. I need to get over this, no matter how badly I want to cling onto it.

  Victoria is moving a few miles away. She’s pregnant with my little brother or sister. Even if she does want to get rid of me, she can’t. There is somebody connecting us. We really are a family… A broken family, but still — a family.

  I look up at Brian, who is looking at me with concern. I feel terrible, because all I’ve done since we started dating was complain and cry about my screwed up life. He is so kind, but even he must be getting annoyed. I vow that from now on, I will be the girlfriend he deserves. My stalker has agreed to leave me alone. Even though I know they’re still out there, they’re not making threats anymore. Plus, the police are looking for the person. They won’t be able to stay hidden for long. Soon, I will be safe.

  So what if my dad isn’t with my stepmom anymore. Lots of people have divorced parents. I was raised by a single parent until I moved here five months ago. I will just be raised by a single parent again.

  I’m not losing Toby; that much is evident. He will always be my brother, no matter where he lives.

  For a moment, I allow myself to think of a future. One with Brian in it. I have to admit that I really like what I imagine. If I want that to happen then there is only one thing I can do — move forward. Put all the bad stuff behind me, and try to take whatever life throws my way… Besides, could it really get worse? In the past two months I have been through so much. Maybe life has decided to give me a break, because I’ve definitely had more than my share of pain for one lifetime.

  I deserve this — I deserve to be happy. And Brian Asher makes me extremely happy.

  “You’re right,” I tell him, wiping away the tears. “I need to get over this.”

  “I will be here for you no matter what,” he says and kisses me on the cheek. “Always.”

  “Despite all the bad, I really do have a lot of good to look forward to. I only have five more months of high school before I graduate,” I say, trying to think of the positive. “And there is only four more months until I turn eighteen. I really didn’t think I would live to see my eighteenth birthday.”

  “So you haven’t gotten anymore notes?” he asks.

  For a moment, I think I should tell him about the texts I got, but I don’t. I was the one who initiated that. Plus, I don’t want Brian to see the picture of us. Mostly because I am selfish. I’m scared that if I show him, he will break up with me. So, I shake my head no. He easily believes me, which hurts.

  I am such a good liar.

  I hate that I’m a good liar.

  Brian smiles, obviously pleased. “You have a very bright future ahead of you.”

  “When I imagine what life will be like, I see you there. With me.” I bite my lip after saying it. I don’t regret the words, but I don’t want to scare him away.

  “Good, because I see you too.”

  Friday, December 31

  1pm

  New Year’s Eve

  My dad is working on New Year’s Eve. This shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. I guess some part of me hoped that he would still attempt to be a part of my life, but it seems like Veronica took a part of him with her. Instead of losing one parent, I’ve lost three.

  Courtney got out of the hospital earlier today. I am thrilled for her. She called me to tell me the good news, and she sounded very happy. It was good to hear her like that. She is spending the day with her family, and of course, Emmett.

  Victoria isn’t speaking to me right now. I’m sure it has something to do with Toby, but I’m sure she will get over it soon… Or at least I hope she does. Ariana and she are going to a party at Jason’s house. Ariana invited me, but I turned her down. I told her I was going to spend the night with Toby, which is a lie, but I’m not ready to tell them about my boyfriend yet. I don’t want them to think I’ve moved on too quickly. I remember how they acted when I broke up with Ty and started dating Gabe immediately afterward.

  Brian has the next few days off, so I figure we will hang out as much as we can. Soon we will both be going back to school, and I have a feeling I won’t be seeing him much then.

  Before I leave for Brian’s apartment he sends me a text message telling me to pack a bag for a couple of days and dress warm. When I ask why, he just tells me I will have to wait and see. So as I drive to his house, I am very curious.

  It’s seventy degrees today, as normal, so I wear a short jean skirt, a hoodie, and a pair of Toms. I packed warmer clothes in my bag. I also packed a cute dress for the New Year’s party tonight.

  When I get to his place, Olivia and her boyfriend, Keith, are there too. I put my suitcase in the back of Brian’s jeep with everybody else’s.

  “So your dad said it was cool if stay a few nights away?” Brian asks.

  “My dad hasn’t been home since Wednesday. I don’t really have to ask permission. I just told the butler.”

  “You have a butler?” Keith asks, all impressed. I guess Olivia didn’t tell him who my dad is, but I don’t feel like explaining.

  “I’m sorry your dad is flaking on you,” Brian says.

  “It’s really not that big of a deal,” I say, mostly trying to convince myself. But it really is a big deal, and Brian knows that.

  “My mom would adopt you for real,” Olivia says. “She adores you.”

  “I could use a fresh set of parents. Somehow I have lost three in the past two months.” Mom is gone. Veronica is gone. Dad might as well move out too, as much time as he spends at the office. “But it’s cool. At least I have Brian.” Because I have run off all of my friends. Sort of. Courtney, Ariana, and Victoria are still my friends, they just have other stuff going on. And I suppose Ty is still my friend, though we haven’t talked since I came back from Hawaii. I’m sort of glad he isn’t bothering me anymore.

  “I’m glad you decided to spend New Year’s Eve with us,” Olivia says. “I figured you’d want to go to Jason Bridge’s party tonight. Doesn’t he run in your crowd?”

  “I suppose. Jason is the party guy, so he and I don’t have a lot in common. Ariana and Victoria are going to his party, but I just didn’t want to go with them. Sometimes when I go to parties like that, I feel like I have to be fake to fit in.”

  She laughs. “I heard about the pool party at Gabe’s when you first moved here. You admitted to everybody that you had never drank beer before, that you had never kissed a guy, and that you were a virgin. That was great.”

  I feel my face grow warm. “It was embarrassing.”

  “Whatever. After you said that, all the guys wanted you. I’m sure you didn’t stay a virgin long considering you dated Ty Newman.”

  “I never had sex with Ty,” I tell her. “Hence the fact that he had sex with… Jacqueline.” My voice breaks a little as I say her name. I wish that Jacqueline Hoff was still around to make my life miserable.

  “Wow. Ty must have really liked you. You two dated… what? Three months?”

  “Yeah, three months… But he had sex with another girl in the bathroom. I’m pretty sure you don’t cheat on somebody you really like.”

  “Well, I’m just saying that he usually doesn’t stay with a girl for more than one month, and only that long if they are sleeping with him.”

  I wonder for a moment what Ty’s relationship was like with Lily. “How long did Lily and him date?”

  “They didn’t,” she says. “They just had sex. Same with Gabe. It was pretty screwed up, but I stayed out of it.”

  I wish we were alone, because I want to ask her if she knew Lily was pregnant when she died. “Well, I guess you can see why I don’t want to go to Jason Bridge’s party. I’m sick of hanging out with people who think their life is a reality show.” That’s the best way I can say it. I’m sick of drama. And I love my friends, I do, but I just want to en
joy the rest of my senior year — drama free. So that’s what I’m going to do. Or at least try to do.

  6pm

  Meeting Nathan.

  When our final destination is a ski resort, I have a mini freak out.

  “I can’t ski,” I tell Brian.

  “Neither can I,” Olivia says. “You and I can hang out while the boys ski.”

  “Nathan’s parents own the resort,” Brian says. “I’ve been coming here for New Year’s since I was twelve. Every year the party has gotten bigger. I’m hoping it’s not as crazy as last year.”

  “What happened last year?” I ask.

  “I don’t remember,” he answers. “The only thing I remember is waking up on the roof the next morning with a killer headache.”

  I laugh. “I’ve never drank that much. It sounds miserable.”

  “Jager Bombs will make you do crazy things. Nathan has a video of me doing karaoke to Ke$ha butt naked. That was my first and last experience of being completely wasted. Never again. I was seriously sick for a week after that.”

  “Mom was so pissed at you,” Olivia says.

  We are all cracking up laughing.

  “I need to see this video,” I tell him.

  “No, you don’t,” Brian says. “Besides I’m pretty sure Nathan deleted the video.”

  “No, he didn’t,” Olivia says. “Just ask him, and he will show you.”

  I give Brian my best angelic smile. “So when are you going to introduce me to Nathan?”

  “Never.”

  Olivia opens the back door. “I’ll introduce you.”

  All four of us head inside. There are a few people here, but it’s not so bad. Most people are just standing around drinking a beer. It’s not exactly what I pictured a college party to be like, though I suppose it’s just started.

  We walk up to a tall blond guy who gets excited when he sees Brian. They do this weird handshake thing that guys do.

  “‘Sup, man?” the blond guy asks, and then he looks over at me. “Who is this lovely lady?”

  “This is my girlfriend, Kihanna Evers.”

  He doesn’t take his eyes off of me, and I’m starting to get uncomfortable. “You look very familiar. Have we met before?”

  I shake my head.

  “Are you sure?” he asks. “Even your name sounds familiar.”

  “I’m sure,” I say.

  A look of realization comes over his face. “Mark Evers is your dad.”

  “Yeah,” I say, slightly embarrassed. I’ve never had anybody notice me before. It’s not like my dad is a celebrity or anything, he just created a website.

  “I read an article about your family online,” he says.

  I feel my face grow warm. I didn’t know anything about the article, though I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me. Nothing about my life is really private anymore.

  “So how did you two meet?” He finally turns his attention back to Brian.

  “I clean her pool,” he answers, then turns to me. “This is Nathan.”

  I suddenly don’t want to see the video anymore. I’m not sure if I even like his friend. I’m sure I will after I get to know him, but right now I’m really uncomfortable. I mostly just want to get away from him.

  “Well, it’s is very lovely to meet you, Kihanna,” Nathan tells me. “If you get tired of him, call me.”

  With that, I roll my eyes.

  No. Thank. You.

  “I think I’ll stick with Brian,” I say, putting my hand in his.

  “I like her,” he tells Brian, and then hands Brian and Olivia a key. We all head up to the third floor.

  “So how are we doing this whole sleeping arrangement thing?” Brian asks Olivia.

  She rolls her eyes. “Well, I know I’m sleeping with my boyfriend. I don’t know what you and Kihanna are doing.”

  “And what are you going to tell Mom?”

  “That I slept with Kihanna, of course,” Olivia tells him. “Besides, it’s not like you don’t want to sleep with your girlfriend.”

  Brian doesn’t say anything back to her. Instead he turns to me. “Are you okay with this? We are just going to sleep. I promise not to try anything.”

  “It’s fine,” I tell him. I kind of like the idea of cuddling with Brian all night. I also really like the idea of doing more with him, but I won’t allow myself to go there. Not yet. I am going to let him make the first move.

  Besides, waiting with Brian is kind of fun.

  8pm

  Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol.

  We put our stuff in the room, and then head to the kitchen to grab something to eat. Once we go out into the lobby, I’m shocked to see how crowded the party has gotten. I feel Brian grab my hand.

  Olivia and Keith go off on their own, leaving Brian and me alone in this sea of people.

  I’m suddenly nervous. My only experience with parties have been the functions that my dad drags me to, and the small high school parties that I go to with my friends. I’ve never seen so many people packed into one room, and I’m a little claustrophobic. The fact that I only know three people here doesn’t help. Everybody else seems to know each other well. Even a few people give Brian knuckle bumps as we make our way through the crowd.

  “Do you want something to drink?” Brian asks me. He has to lean close to my ear and yell for me to hear him over everybody else.

  “Yes, please.”

  “What do you like?”

  “Anything but tequila.” Tequila and I don’t get along. Every time I drink it, something bad happens. I’m staying away from it tonight.

  “Do you really think I’m going to let you drink alcohol when you’re with me? Your dad would kill me,” he says.

  “My dad lets me drink.” It’s true. He’s never openly handed me liquor, but he’s never stopped me from drinking champagne at parties. Besides, when I drink I always drink responsibly. I never drive. And alcohol has never made me do anything stupid.

  “Fine,” he says. “Whiskey and coke it is.”

  Brian goes behind the bar and mixes our drink. I notice he puts much more Coke in my drink, but I don’t care. I mostly just want enough so I can loosen up and enjoy tonight. I need this. After all the bad crap that has happen, tonight is my night, and I want to enjoy every second.

  “Here is to ringing in the New Year with the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met,” Brian says.

  I can’t help but smile as I tap my red Solo Cup against his.

  And then we drink. Once I finish, I have him mix me another, requesting it a bit stronger. I can hardly even feel it. By the time I finish my second drink, I’m definitely feeling it.

  “Do you want to play pool?” Brian asks me.

  “As long as you don’t mind losing,” I answer.

  He smiles at me as we make our way to a vacant pool table. It’s quieter in here, which I’m thankful for. I take a sip of my drink, thinking how glad I am to be here. I’m happy that I came here tonight… Happy that I started talking to Brian.

  “What made you message me on Staying Connected?” I ask him as he racks up the balls.

  “I was thinking of you,” he answers. “Last time I talked to you, you were going through a pretty rough time. I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

  “Did you think it would turn into something more?”

  “No. Definitely not. Like I said, I feel like you’re way out of my league. I was surprised that you even added me back as a friend.”

  “I’m not out of your league. And if it wasn’t for my dad you wouldn’t think I was. In fact, if you knew me when I lived in St. Louis you probably wouldn’t have given me a second look,” I tell him.

  Brian has the balls racked up, so he walks over to me with a pool stick. He sets it against the table, and then puts his hands on my hips pulling me closer to him. He gently kisses his way from my lips, up my cheek, to my ear.

  “It doesn’t matter who your dad is, or how much money you have. Trust me, I would have looked at you,” he whisper
s in my ear, making me shiver against him. “Nothing would change the fact that you are the most gorgeous person I’ve ever met. And I’m not just talking about on the outside. You have a good heart, and I’d be crazy to ever let you walk by without giving this a shot. You and I belong together.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  “I just am.” He grabs my right hand and puts it against his chest. “I can feel it. Every minute of every day, you’re all I can think about. I keep telling myself to slow down. We haven’t been hanging out long enough for me to feel like this. But I can’t help it. My heart knows exactly what it wants, and it wants you, Kihanna Evers.”

  I can feel his heart accelerate under my fingers. “Just so you know, I’m glad you feel that way. I do too.”

  Brian leans forward, and brushes his lips against mine. My heart accelerates at the contact, and I think that I can never get enough of this. Slowly, I feel myself falling for him. And all I can think is I wish my mom were alive so I could tell her.

  When he pulls back, he gently kisses my forehead, and then we start playing. I let him break since I’m obviously going to beat him.

  He gets in a couple of balls before it’s my turn. On my first shot I knock in four balls. Wow. I play better drunk than I do sober… Well, I’m not drunk, but I’m quickly getting there.

  “Are you good at everything?” Brian asks me.

  “No,” I answer. “But I am excellent at pool.”

  “I can see that.”

  As I walk to make my next shot, I nearly trip over my own feet. Brian helps steady me.

  “I don’t think I’m good with alcohol,” I tell him. My tongue feels thick.

  “You’re a lightweight,” he says, taking my drink. “That’s good to know. I’m switching you to water.”

  I start to protest, but it’s probably a good idea. I don’t want to spend my New Year’s Day hung over. Brian grabs a bottle of water and hands it to me. I take a drink before I make my next shot.