Crossings: A Sovereign Guardians Novel

by Susan Collins

  The thought that it might be true was tearing me apart.

  Gathering my courage, I took a deep breath and blurted out my question.

  "You need to be wearing your piece of silver to be able to shield someone, right?"

  Daring to look at Keller, I watched him nod slowly. His eyebrows rose as understanding of what I was really asking dawned on him.

  He reached out, and with deliberate ease slipped the silver ring he always wore off his finger. He placed the talisman on the table beside the bed before turning back to face me.

  His look was smoldering as he asked, "Was there something you wanted to find out?"

  I nodded, suddenly too shy for words.

  His dark brown eyes moved over my face before his fingers captured my chin and gently tilted my face up. Very slowly his head descended and his mouth brushed against mine. His words, whispered against my lips, were like sweet honey to my starving soul.

  "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

  I couldn't answer. I knew if it felt anything like what he did to me, then it couldn't be described.

  My own hands slid up and around his neck, holding him close, keeping him prisoner.

  One word escaped my lips.

  "Please."

  Keller's eyes flamed with desire at my plea. No more words were needed as his mouth captured mine in a touch that spoke more than words ever could. A small gasp of pleasure opened my mouth to his. His tongue moved inside and shivers of need filled me as he kissed me deeply. My own lips moved against his, urging him on, desperate to show him how much I wanted this, him. My bed acted as the perfect backdrop as he pulled me down, down into the soft mattress and then moved me so that I was on top of him. His arms held me fast, and I could only move closer to him.

  I smiled against his lips. This, this was exactly where I wanted to be.

  From the beginning the kisses Keller and I had shared had started a hunger in me, but what was happening now had me completely starving for his touch.

  His hair felt silky between my exploring fingers, and I gripped the back of his head, holding him as close as he was holding me. His hands feathered along my back, his knee wedged between my own legs, and then he was turning me so that my back was now against the mattress and he was on top of me.

  He eased back from me so that I could look into his eyes. They were so dark, filled with a need I understood and felt with every inch of my being. I wondered if my own face reflected all the wonder and joy I saw on his. Keller's mouth curved into a smile; his dimple peeked out from the corner. I leaned forward and placed a kiss there, something I had wanted to do from the moment I'd first seen him smile. Then I rolled to my side, taking him with me, so that we were facing one another. There was little space between us but enough so we could really see each other.

  "Do you have any other questions I can help you answer, love?" Keller teased me.

  A million ran through my mind.

  One involved wondering how he would look without so many clothes on, but I bit my lip and held that one back. I only had so much willpower where he was concerned, and I knew without him saying it, there were definitely certain rules that guardians had to abide by. I was quite sure that we were in wonderfully, dangerous territory. I didn't know what it would mean for him if we crossed any lines we shouldn't, and as much as I wanted to be with him, I understood that right now there were things going on that were out of our control, besides my own lustful thoughts.

  Without my saying a word, Keller seemed to realize we had to stop, or we’d both end up doing things we weren’t ready for on a night of so many revelations. He leaned over and gave me a gentle kiss on my forehead. I could feel his heart racing, and I knew it matched the tempo of my own, despite his attempts to slow things down.

  Keller's words were barely a whisper as he spoke near my lips. "You have to know how much I don't want to stop."

  I nodded, unable to speak.

  His fingers reached out and traced the side of my face, unable to keep from touching, even though we both knew we should.

  "I told you I'm human, and that wasn't a lie. The human part of me wants nothing more than to get up, lock the door, and pretend there's nothing else in this world but this moment."

  It was so hard to say the words that would make him move away from me when I needed him close. Knowing the way I felt about him and the way he felt about me - knowing it was all real and had nothing to do with the ring he wore or his ability to shield, I didn’t want us to ever be apart.

  But I knew there was so much more to all of this than what either of us wanted.

  My eyes stayed focused on his face as I dared to ask him, "Will you stay here with me tonight? We can put a bridge of pillows between us if you think that will help. I just don't want you to leave."

  I held my breath waiting for his answer.

  He rose up on one elbow and looked down at me and then placed a tender kiss on my lips before he answered.

  "You know I want to stay, but I don't know if I have the willpower to be here with you all night. I'm really not an angel, sweetheart. If you could read my mind right now, you'd know that even my thoughts are in danger of getting me kicked out of the heavens permanently, and right now I have to be a sovereign guardian because that's the only way I know to keep you safe."

  Keller's words were sobering. As wonderful as things felt between us, our reality was much darker. We were facing an evil that we didn't know how to fight, but we knew was out there. We had less than a week to stop my death, and we didn't know how to find what we were fighting against.

  A shiver raced through me.

  Keller ran his free hand down my arm and pulled me close again. I felt safe now, but I knew he couldn't stay. Even this simple touch was more than either of us could handle. I wanted more than what we could have, and I was certain he did, too.

  "This is going to sound strange, but what if I sent Granger over to sleep downstairs? Would that make you feel safe?"

  Since he'd brought up Granger, I figured now might be the best time to clear the air.

  "I heard you and Granger, you know, talking earlier outside the barn. I know he told you he kissed me and that I, well, I, uhm, I kissed him back."

  Keller's jaw tightened for an instant and then relaxed as he eased back down beside me. "You don't have to explain anything. I want you to know that. I think I understand a little of what happened. Honestly, none of it matters as long as I know that what is happening between us right now is real."

  I placed both my hands on the sides of his face, willing him to believe me. "Never in my life have I felt anything like the way I feel about you."

  The satisfied look on his face was all the reassurance I needed. Granger was his best friend, and he trusted him. If he thought it was best for him to be here with me tonight, then I wouldn't say no. I was honestly glad that what had happened between us had not ruined their friendship. I hoped it hadn’t ruined mine and Granger’s either.

  "Ya know, you are my first choice to be my bodyguard, but if you can't stay and you want Granger here tonight at the house, then I trust your judgment."

  Keller reached up, and his hands closed over mine. He used them to pull me tighter against him.

  "I didn't exactly say I wanted Granger here tonight, but I know it's the best choice we have. Despite what you might have heard earlier, I'd trust him with my life. He'll do whatever it takes to protect you." He swallowed hard before adding, “I know he cares about you, too. Keeping you safe is more than an assignment for either of us.”

  "Where will you be?" I asked, dreading already the moment he would leave.

  "Not far.”

  He winked at me, and I melted even more.

  “If it's okay with you, I'm going to make a phone call to Ms. Ellie and Mr. Mac and convince them they both need to stay away for the week. At least that way we'll know they're safe. Then I'm going to park my truck out front and keep watch in the cab. If you need me, I'll be right outside."

&
nbsp; I squeezed his hand and tangled my legs between his before rolling him onto his back. Then I leaned down and kissed him, gently at first and then with barely controlled passion.

  "What was that for?" he asked as I rolled off him and then sat up.

  I smiled and reached over to smooth his ruffled hair back down with my fingers before answering him.

  "I just wanted to make sure you had something to remember me by while you were outside."

  He grinned at that. "Sweetheart, no matter where I am, I’m thinking of you. I definitely can't be in my own truck without thinking about how sweet you tasted the night I took you home from the club."

  My eyebrows arched in mock indignation. "So, you did kiss me that night while I was under the influence."

  "I'll never tell everything."

  "What if I remember it all?"

  "Mmmm...I hope you do."

  Looking at Keller, knowing what it felt like to be kissed by him, to have him looking at me with those brown eyes of his, I hoped I remembered it all, too. There wasn't a moment with him that I ever wanted to forget.

  The numbers glowing on the clock showed that it was well past time for me to be asleep.

  Keller came around to my side of the bed and pulled me up and away from our warm oasis. He kept hold of my hand as he walked me to the door. With his free hand, he pulled out his phone and quickly texted Granger, explaining to me that he was telling him the plan for the evening.

  "Let me get some blankets and a pillow for him for tonight.”

  Keller shook his head. "No, don't bother. I've got a sleeping bag in my truck I'll give him, and he can use one of the pillows that are already on the couch downstairs. He'll be fine. Trust me."

  "I do," I said and gave him one last kiss before he headed down the stairs and out the door. I didn't bother to follow him because I knew once Granger came inside, he would lock everything up before he went to bed.

  The minute I turned around and walked back into my room, my eyes went straight to my bed. The covers were all rumpled and the pillows were mused where only minutes before Keller and I had been together. The glint of silver on the nightstand caught my attention as well, and I realized Keller had forgotten his ring. He would need it for the phone call he had to make. He had to convince Gran not to come home until we knew everything was okay. I could handle whatever might happen to me, but thinking about something happening to her was unbearable.

  I picked up the ring and then slipped back down the stairs just as Granger was coming inside. For a minute we both stared at each other. Granger was the first to break the silence.

  "You okay?"

  "I'm fine," I responded quickly. "Keller forgot his ring. Can you see that he gets it?"

  Granger took the silver band from my hand and assured me he would get it to him. I was about to turn around and go back upstairs when Granger's fingers wrapped around my arm and stopped me.

  "You know he's my best friend?"

  I nodded.

  "I also know that you and me, we’re just friends, and I'm good with that, so you know. That being said, you understand he has to go back, right?" Granger looked down at the ring he held and then back at me, making sure I really understood what he was saying.

  "I know," I whispered, tears filling my eyes. The horrible part was, I did know, even if we had refused to talk about it and had both pretended earlier that it wasn't true.

  Granger nodded once and then let go of my arm. I raced up the stairs glad that he would be staying because knowing he was downstairs was all that stopped me from racing out the door and back into Keller's arms.

  Chapter Thirteen

  When morning came I was surprised I'd slept at all, but exhaustion had finally taken over, and I didn't open my eyes again until the sun was starting to rise. Stretching widely, I began to wake with the realization that everything that had happened the night before was real. The world I knew was gone, and there were things I now knew about my life that were both frightening and exciting.

  Sinking back onto my mattress, I reached over and rubbed my hand across the extra pillow beside me, wishing I could be waking up next to Keller. I tried to imagine how he would look early in the morning, the sun coming in through my window, shining on his dark hair. His eyes opening slowly to reveal the secrets he kept hidden there. Then he'd give me that slow, half smile of his right before he'd turn to face me, his eyes offering me all sorts of promises I’d want him to keep.

  I threw my own pillow over my head and groaned.

  It was a very good thing he'd left last night, I reminded myself. But even thinking it over and over didn't make me really believe it.

  A noise downstairs reminded me that I wasn't alone. I could hear Granger moving around. It sounded like he was making coffee. Apparently he was an early riser, too.

  Slipping into my bathroom, I quickly showered and then dressed in a pair of jeans and a soft cotton pullover. The blue of the shirt helped my eyes look a little brighter. I pinched my cheeks trying to add some color to my face before pulling my hair up into its high ponytail. A small dab of gloss on my lips was the only makeup I added.

  I took the back staircase down to the kitchen, and Granger looked pleasantly surprised to see me up and moving so early.

  "Coffee?" he asked, rising to get me a cup.

  "Couldn't start the day without it," I confessed, taking the cup he poured for me and quickly adding cream and sugar before I joined him at the table. He sat down across from me the moment I took my seat.

  Granger was already dressed, wearing a snug fitting gray shirt and dark blue jeans. He seemed perfectly at ease this morning, and I wondered how he could look like he'd had such a perfect night's sleep after staying on my grandmother's sofa, not to mention with all the other things that were going on right now.

  Perhaps it was a perk of being a guardian. Granger and Keller were both so good-looking. Did all guardians look like super models? Then I remembered Keller mentioning that Granger had a sister which meant there were female guardians, too, and a feeling that made me rather sick started churning in the pit of my stomach. Wondering what life was like for Keller in his perfect world with his perfect people left me with little to say for the moment.

  Granger arched one eyebrow, eyeing me over the rim of his coffee cup before he spoke. "Well, it's been two minutes at least, and you haven't asked about Keller yet. Has your affection already waned?"

  My eyes opened wide and I blinked at Granger. "Did you just use the words affection and waned in the same sentence? My gosh, you really did read Jane Eyre, didn’t you?"

  Granger wagged his index finger in my direction. "You know, you don't have to be vexed this early in the morning."

  "Vexed? Really? Is there any reason you are suddenly talking like a walking thesaurus?"

  Granger shrugged one shoulder and then set down his cup of coffee before replying. "You know what they say about summer break and your brain." He tapped the finger he’d just pointed in my direction against his right temple. "Have to keep my mind sharp, or I'll lose it all by fall."

  I laughed out loud, but then sobered quickly. My mind raced ahead thinking about what the start of school would be like next year. I would be a senior when school began, assuming I survived the next week. Only a few days ago my biggest focus had been passing finals. I took a slow sip of my own cup of coffee, trying to concentrate on nothing but the warmth as it moved down my throat, wondering where Granger and Keller would be when school started, and knowing I wouldn’t like the answer if I asked the question.

  "So," I began, once I'd swallowed my morning, liquid adrenaline and determined to avoid the most disturbing topics that were buzzing through my mind, "where is Keller?"

  "He's gone."

  “He’s what?” My face must have clearly shown my shock because Granger was quick to follow up his statement.

  "Calm down, Pagan. He's gone back for a quick visit, that's all. We both thought it best if one of us touched base to make sure our ability to shi
eld stays at its best. I know it's hard to understand, but then again, pretty much everything you've heard in the last twenty-four hours is probably not easy for you to take in."

  I shrugged one shoulder. "There's a lot that is, well, a lot to take in, but the idea of how you are able to get the energy to shield is still something I can't wrap my mind around."

  "If it helps at all, think of our ability as something like a rechargeable battery but with a very long distance charging station. Anyway, I offered to go so Keller could stay here, but I think he was too restless to sit still. He was also hoping he'd make it back before you woke up and realized he was gone."

  "I don't suppose you could..."

  "No," Granger stated emphatically, cutting me off before I could even finish my sentence.

  "You don't even know what I was going to ask," I pouted.

  Granger gave me a look like I'd lost my mind. "Really? You are so transparent, Pagan. Of course I know what you were about to say. You were going to ask me how we go back and forth, and you were going to ask for details about how the whole recharging thing works. And then you were probably going to follow that with a hundred more questions while Keller isn't here because you think I’ll crack and tell you everything." Granger gave me a crooked grin to soften his words.

  "You forget, Pagan, I happen to be perfectly aware you aren't simply another pretty face, and your inquisitive mind never stops. I'm also quite sure you already understood from last night that there are certain things we aren't allowed to explain. Ever. The way it stands right now, we'll probably have to wipe your mind clean when all of this is over."

  "What?" Panic enveloped me as I thought about what it would be like to lose all my memories of Keller. "You can't be serious!"

  Granger winked at me and then said, "Nah, I'm not serious, but only because shielding doesn't seem to work on you very well. Honestly, if we could do it, it would be the easiest way to handle this entire messed up situation. Of course, I doubt Keller would be a fan of the idea either. On the flip side, if we could do it, we'd be able to tell you everything you want to know because in a few days we could simply take all your memories away with one shield when all this craziness is over."