Shrinking Violet (a Colors novel)

by Jessica Prince

  “Hey, guys. How was the farmer’s market? Sell a lot of stuff?”

  “Actually…” I dragged out, walking up to her and placing the stack of cash on the table in front of her. “We sold a lot. It was a great day.”

  “What’s this?” Navie asked, looking up at me with confusion in her deep blue eyes.

  Luckily, Carson stepped in just then. “That, little bit, is the money for your prom dress.”

  She shoved the bills back at us. “I told you I’m not taking money from you guys,” she said with frustration.

  I pulled out the chair next to her and sat down. “I know. I understand why this is important that you do this yourself. This is your money, fair and square. I hope you aren’t mad, but I took some of the jewelry you made with us to the farmer’s market. Navie, the women there couldn’t buy it up fast enough. They loved it! They even asked that I bring more with me next time.”

  “Wait…” She stared down at the money on the table, her brows furrowed. “You took my jewelry?”

  My stomach knotted up with dread that she wouldn’t understand why I did what I did. Grabbing hold of her hand, I looked at her imploringly. “You’re so unbelievably talented. I just wanted everyone else to see what I saw when I looked at your creations. I’m sorry I went behind your back, sweetheart. I only wanted to help.”

  Her wide eyes came back to mine in disbelief. “I made all of this?”

  “Yeah, honey.” I laughed.

  She picked up the stack of bills and started thumbing through them. “They really loved my jewelry that much?”

  “Of course they did. You’re amazing.”

  With a sudden squeal of excitement, she launched herself at me, squeezing tight as she hugged me. “This is so awesome, Cassidy! I can’t believe you did this for me. Thank you so much!”

  I blinked several times to push back the tears that wanted to fall as we pulled back from each other. I made sure my tone expressed just how much I meant it when I told her, “Navie, there isn’t much I wouldn’t do for you. I know we haven’t known each other very long, and I know it’s just been you and Carson for a long time, but I hope you know that I think of you as a part of this family. Everyone at the ranch does.”

  With a sniffle, she brushed away a few tears that fell from her dark eyes and hugged me again. “I love you,” she whispered. “You’re our family, too.”

  I looked over her shoulder at Carson. The smile on his face was full of awe as he mouthed I love you.

  “I love you, too.” I answered back, speaking those four important words to the both of them.

  We separated and I wiped at the wetness on my cheeks. “Now.” I smiled, lightening the mood. “What do you say we grab Lana and Bug and have a girls’ day at the mall? We have a prom dress to buy.”

  Another excited squeal echoed through the room as she jumped up and ran from the room. “Gimme five minutes and I’ll be ready!”

  I laughed as Carson walked over to me and pulled me from my chair. “I didn’t think it was possible to love you more than I already did, but you managed to prove me wrong, baby.”

  “Mmm,” I hummed as I reached up to kiss him. “I like the sound of that.”

  “And I like the sound of you coming apart in my bed at night. Speaking of…you should totally come over after Bug goes to sleep.”

  I laughed as he held me against him tightly. “I’ll see if I can make that happen.”

  “You do that, Violet.” He grinned.

  “I’m ready!” Navie exclaimed as she came running back into the room. “You want to go shopping with us, Carson?”

  “Ah, little bit, I’d rather get my nuts pecked at by Milly’s chickens than go shopping,” he answered humorously. “But you ladies have fun.”

  “We will.” Navie giggled.

  He turned back to me, all humor wiped from his face. “And make sure she gets a dress with good coverage. Think long sleeves. If I see any cleavage, I’m likely to have an aneurysm.”

  “I’ll see what I can do,” I whispered conspiratorially.

  “Okay, can we go now?” Navie asked with a roll of her eyes.

  With one last kiss, I pulled away from Carson and started for the front door.

  “Make good choices!” Carson yelled out.

  I turned back in shock. “Did you just quote Pitch Perfect?”

  “Blame that little devil girl standing next to you. She played that damn movie every day for a solid month.”

  Navie giggled and hopped up to place a kiss on Carson’s cheek. “You’re the best brother I never had.”

  He grinned down at her lovingly and a million butterflies took off in my stomach. God, he was sexy when he was being all brotherly. “And you’re the best sister I never had, little bit.”

  Yeah, I was definitely coming over later that night.

  The gymnasium was done up to perfection. The school colors stood out proudly, masking the walls and making the gym look like an elegant ballroom. As head of the prom committee, I’d made sure we had the absolute best of everything. Prom was supposed to be a magical night, and I wouldn’t settle for anything less. It was the one and only thing I felt like I had control over. But even though I tried so hard to make the night special, I still felt that black hole deep inside of me growing wider and wider, threatening to swallow me. No matter what I did or how I acted, I still felt like I was sinking into a dark pit of despair

  And I had no one to blame but myself.

  Parker sat next to me at our table, his jaw ticking from being clenched so hard. He hadn’t said more than a handful of words to me since he picked me up earlier—and what he did say was as far from nice as a person could get. Not that I really blamed him for hating me. Hell, I hated myself for what I did to break him and Freya up, but it was like a compulsion. I could still hear my mother’s callous words ringing in my ears.

  “You do whatever is necessary to get what you want. And you run over anybody standing in the way of you achieving your goal.”

  And that’s exactly what I’d done. I blackmailed Parker to get what I thought I wanted, using the only thing I knew mattered to him—his mother.

  I was the lowest form of human in existence. I could hardly bring myself to look in the mirror most days. But I’d still done it. I’d hurt two innocent people because I was weak. I hated being alone, and I let my mother get inside my head.

  “You look handsome tonight,” I told him, trying my best to salvage this miserable night.

  The look of disgust in Parker’s dark eyes as he stared at me chilled me to the bone, and I had no doubt in that very moment that his hatred for me was all-consuming.

  “I’m getting a drink,” he growled. He stood from the table and stalked away without so much as a backwards glance.

  I didn’t know what I was thinking when I forced Parker’s hand and made him take me to prom. I couldn’t tell you what I thought the outcome would be, but stupidly enough, I’d hoped that once he saw me in my pale green dress that showed a generous helping of skin, he’d loosen up to me just a little bit.

  I should have known better. Sex hadn’t been able to repair our relationship after we’d broken up, so I was an idiot for thinking it would change things after. However, I hadn’t taken into consideration just how badly his disdain of me would hurt. With each passing minute, I felt like I was bleeding out on the floor.

  “What the hell crawled up his ass and died?” Brynn asked from across the table. Just the sound of her voice was like nails on a chalkboard. I wanted to scream at her to shut the hell up, but I didn’t. I kept my mouth closed as I eyed the rest of our group sitting around the table.

  God, I really didn’t like these people. I saw the same distasteful qualities in them that I saw in myself every single day. We were all bottom-feeders. We all fed off the misery of the kids we picked on. We were the lowest of the low. I didn’t want this for myself. I didn’t want these people to be a part of my life, but in my tragically pitiful world, popularity was all I had. So I
stayed. I played the same game as everyone else.

  All because I was too weak, too scared of being the same outcast at school that I was in my own home.

  “Don’t listen to him, babe,” Seth slurred as he fell into the chair next to me. He reached into his coat pocket, pulled out a flask and put it to his lips. I watched as his throat bobbed up and down with each gulp of liquor. “You look sexy as hell tonight. Owens is a fucking idiot if he can’t see that.”

  “You really think so?” I asked, clinging to anything I could to make myself feel just the slightest bit better. I knew Seth was drunk and that he had the propensity to act like a raging asshole, but he was one of the best-looking guys in school. Not as handsome as Parker, but a close second. And he thought I was sexy.

  “Hell yeah! If you were my girl, I’d be showing you off, rubbing it in all these dickheads’ faces.”

  He leaned in close, and I could smell the whiskey on his breath. It should have been off-putting, it should have turned my stomach. But even the smell of alcohol did nothing to overpower my need for the attention. Jesus, I was pathetic.

  “I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you,” he said with a lascivious lick of his lips. “I’d have already dragged you out of here and ripped that dress off your killer body.”

  I knew I shouldn’t do it. I knew it would be just another horrible mistake to add to the running tally I kept track of in my head, but I didn’t care. I already hated myself; what was one more bad choice? Besides, he wanted me…and I needed to be wanted. So I buried my self-loathing deep down inside of me and acted on instinct.

  Taking the flask from his hand, I chugged the remainder of the whiskey, relishing the burn it left behind as it made a path to my stomach. Then I took Seth’s hand and stood from the table, giving him my most sultry smile.

  “Then what are you waiting for?”

  “Cassidy? You okay?”

  I shook my head to clear away the fog of the past that had temporarily pulled me into its clutches.

  “Huh?”

  “You spaced out there for a few minutes. Are you all right?” Navie asked, concern etched into her face in the mirror in front of us.

  “I’m good, sweetie. Just concentrating,” I lied easily, pasting a smile on my face and trying to ignore the chill that flashback sent along my spine.

  “God, I’m so nervous.”

  I couldn’t help but smile at Navie as she sat in front of me, wringing her hands in her lap. I put the last curl in her long hair and used a few bobby pins to hold a few pieces back from her face.

  “You have nothing to be nervous about,” I said as I placed my hands on her shoulders and gave her a reassuring squeeze. “You look so beautiful. This Mark kid is going to lose it when he sees you.”

  “You really think so?”

  Her wide, deep blue eyes shined brightly as she gazed at me through the glass. I’d done her makeup in shimmering colors of copper and gold, keeping it somewhat natural and accentuating her already-natural beauty. Her full lips were colored with a pale pink gloss and two coats of mascara made her long lashes stand out even more. Navie was absolutely stunning.

  Taking her hands, I pulled her up from her seat and turned her around so I could get the full effect. With her thick hair worn down in long, wavy curls, she had an almost angelic look. The dress we’d picked out was a deep cerulean blue, chosen because it made her eyes pop and hugged her curves in a way that made her look classy, but still held just a hint of sex appeal. The three-inch heels on her feet gave her a little more height, even though she still remained shorter than the average girl. She was a tiny thing, but the hair, dress, and makeup made her look like a young woman.

  Carson was going to lose his shit, but it was totally worth it.

  “I think you’re going to make every other girl there look like crap in comparison.”

  Navie giggled as she pulled me in for a quick hug. “What was your prom like? I bet you were the popular girl who was voted Prom Queen, weren’t you?” I knew she was joking around, but a flood of memories came rushing back from that night, making me feel a little sick to my stomach. I didn’t want to answer her. I didn’t want to lie, but I also refused to tell her the real story of what a disaster my prom night was. In the end, I decided evasion was the best option.

  “Come on,” I told her as a pulled on her hand. “Let’s go show everyone how good you look and watch Carson’s head explode.”

  Sure enough, the moment we stepped into the crowded living room, Carson showed his ass.

  “What the hell! What about that dress is conservative? Are you trying to give me a stroke? I can see her…her…” He waved his hand frantically in front of Navie’s chest. In her defense, the sleeveless, sweetheart neckline only showed about an inch and a half of cleavage. Hardly anything when you really thought about it. He ran his hands anxiously through his hair. “Jesus Christ, I’m gonna have to punch this kid in the face when he gets here, aren’t I?”

  “Oh, will you stop it?” Milly swatted Carson with a dishtowel none to too softly. “You’re being absolutely ridiculous. Navie, honey,” she said, coming up to take her hands. “You’re a vision, child. So beautiful.”

  “Gonna be the prettiest girl in the room,” Uncle Kal announced.

  The rest of the guys who worked on the ranch let out a few whistles and catcalls, led by Zeke who still liked to give Carson a hard time. Over time, those two managed to form a mutual respect for each other. That didn’t mean Zeke didn’t love needling Carson whenever the chance arose.

  “Girl,” Zeke drug out. “You’re lookin’ mighty fine. Gotta say, I’m feelin’ a little jealous of your date tonight. Ow! Damn, what was that for?” He rubbed his arm where Carson had just punched him.

  “Stop hitting on my sister,” Carson grumbled.

  “Just speakin’ the truth, brother,” Zeke egged on with a wink.

  Carson lunged again, causing Zeke to jump back and hold up his hands in surrender. “All right, all right, I’ll stop.” He chuckled. “I gotta get back to work, but you really do look pretty, honey. Have fun tonight, and if he tries to make a move, go straight for his balls. Takes a man down every time.” With that, he darted out of the room laughing, barely missing Carson’s attempt at another punch.

  “Mommy!” Willow shouted—because she could never say anything quietly. “She looks like a pwincess!”

  “That she does, baby girl.”

  Just then, the back door crashed open, followed by Lana’s loud voice as she ran into the living room. “Did I miss it?! Did I miss it?! Oh, thank God. You’re still here,” she puffed out, bending at the waist and resting her hands on her knees, obviously trying to catch her breath. “Damn, I’m out of shape,” she huffed once she could breathe again. As soon as she stood and caught sight of Navie, she let out a low whistle. “Damn, girl. You. Look. Hot!” All I could do was laugh as Carson threw his hands up in exasperation and looked at the ceiling as though he was praying for strength.

  “I brought my camera,” Lana announced to the room. “Let’s get some pictures of you and the family before your boy-toy gets here.

  Navie beamed at Lana’s use of the word ‘family’ at the same time Carson said, “He’s not her boy-toy. Ah, hell, I think I’m having a heart attack,” he whined dramatically as he rubbed at his left arm. “I have shooting pains in my arm. That’s one of the signs, right?”

  Uncle Kal smacked him in the back of his head as Lana waved her hand dismissively and began taking picture after picture of Navie, posing her in various positions before placing me, Carson, Bug, Kal, and Milly around her for the group shots. My chest grew tight with emotion as I watched Navie basking in everyone’s attention. I’d never seen her shine as brightly as she did as everyone showered her with love and affection. Despite his gruffness, I could tell even Carson was moved by the display.

  As the minutes ticked by and more pictures were snapped, I could see Navie beginning to grow anxious, looking over at the large grandfather clock
in the corner of the room.

  “Shouldn’t he be here by now?”

  A feeling of uneasiness began to take hold as I looked to see Mark was already fifteen minutes late. A shared look between Carson and me showed he had noticed, as well.

  “I’m sure he’s just running late, sweetie.”

  Lana walked over to her and wrapped her arm around Navie’s shoulders. “Yeah, teenage boys have no concept of time. Just give him a little longer. He’ll be here.”

  Fifteen minutes turned into twenty; twenty turned into forty, and with the more time that passed, the mood in the room grew thick and morose. When Navie’s cellphone chimed in her purse, there was a collective sigh of relief.

  “Maybe that’s him,” Navie said hopefully. She snatched up her phone and studied it curiously. “It’s a Facebook notification. Someone tagged me in a picture.”

  “What is it?” Milly asked tensely.

  The moment Navie’s finger slid across the screen, a thick sheen of tears formed in her eyes before breaking free and trailing down her face.

  I rushed to her side as a heart-wrenching sob broke free from her. “Oh, honey. What was the picture of?”

  She held her phone up for me to see. It was a selfie of a girl and boy kissing, dressed in formal wear. The background showed a dance floor full of other kids. “It’s Mark and M-Meredith,” Navie cried.

  “Oh, God,” Milly gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. Kal hung his head and Lana looked on the verge of tears. Carson, on the other hand, looked capable of murder at that very second.

  “It was all a joke,” Navie whispered as she studied the picture. “It was just another stupid prank.”

  “Sweetheart—” I started, but she didn’t hear me.

  “I’m such an idiot. I should have known he didn’t really like me. Meredith was right. No one wants me. I don’t know why I thought Mark was any different.”

  “No,” I insisted, grabbing her cheeks in my hands so she was forced to look at me. “Don’t ever say that. Don’t even think it. You’re standing in a room right now filled with people who love you. You mean everything to us. Don’t for one second think no one wants you, because we all do.”