The Only Way

by Magan Vernon

  She shook her head. “Your sweet talking isn’t going to make me want to go to Thanksgiving dinner.”

  I pushed up her sleeve slightly and ran my thumb along the butterfly tattoo, before pulling her wrist to my lips. I barely brushed my mouth against her skin before meeting her eyes. “I’m not trying to make you do anything you really don’t want to do. If you really don’t want to go...” I pushed her sleeve up a little more, revealing the colorful swirls and pink flowers. Then I kissed up each little pink petal before looking back up at her. I was surprised by my own actions and sucked in a breath. God, what the fuck was I doing? Or more like, what the fuck was this girl doing to me?

  Her eyes were closed and her chest rose and fell with each breath. She finally opened her eyes, blinking slowly. She was fucking beautiful. I hadn’t kissed her and had barely touched her since the day Trigg showed up on my doorstep, but it was all I thought about.

  “Tripp,” she whispered and then pulled her arm away, shaking her head. “We can’t.”

  “What?” I asked. I didn’t want her to pull away. Hell, I didn’t think she would. She was the one who'd wanted me to kiss her not even a week ago.

  “I don’t want to fuck up whatever this friendship or arrangement or whatever you call it is.”

  I stood up and walked around the counter, putting my hands on either side of her face, forcing her green eyes to meet mine. I was thinking and I wasn’t thinking. All of my thoughts of lust and wanting were filling my head. But it was more than lust. It was something. Something that made me want to see this girl every day. I didn’t know how to tell her that. This was me, looking at her like I haven’t looked at another girl. Ever. This was me, trying to tell her that I want something more than just lying next to her every night and wondering what she was thinking when she smiled in her sleep. But I couldn’t tell her all of that, so I said the first words that came to me. “This isn’t fucking it up. This is me wanting you.”

  She bit her bottom lip and fuck if that didn’t make me want her even more than it had just a few seconds before. “Trip...I...”

  Before she could say another word, I crushed my lips against hers. She opened her mouth and a small sigh escaped. I bit down on that perfect red lip before finding that amazing tongue ring of hers and letting myself escape into the ecstasy of her taste.

  Her hands moved up to my hair, fisting it and tugging it slightly, making me moan as I pressed her up against the counter. My cock strained against my jeans and I could feel the heat from her core. All those nights next to her. All the time I’d found myself staring at her and now I had her right where I wanted her.

  Or so I thought.

  She pulled back, breaking the kiss and put her head down. She wiped her mouth. “I...I...I have to go.”

  She pushed my chest and grabbed her purse off the counter without looking back.

  “Wait, Sam, Don’t go!” I reached for her wrist but she pulled it out of my grasp and was out the door before I could stop her.

  I opened the door, but she was already running to the stairs. Already trying to escape me.

  What the fuck had I done?

  ***

  “Tripp Chapman?” The brunette asked in low voice.

  I looked up from my phone. Why the fuck was I at a club when I had work the next morning anyway? I hated my fucking job. Hated it to the core, but it was something. I guess the governor’s kid couldn’t just sit at home. Nope, couldn’t have that.

  “That’s me.” I barely looked up at her.

  She was pretty enough. Her tits were probably as fake as her smile, but that was fine. Nobody was real anymore.

  She set a bottle of Crown along with a crystal rocks glass full of ice on the small table in front of me. She pursed her lips together. “Anything else you need, Mr. Chapman?”

  “Are you offering?” I raised an eyebrow. It even sounded slimy as I said it, but I didn’t fucking care. She could have sucked my dick or slapped me. Maybe it would make me feel something.

  She smiled, bending so that I could see the curve of her breasts. “I’m off at midnight.”

  I smirked. “You could always get me off before then.”

  God, it was a dickish thing to say. Did girls actually fall for that shit?

  She stood up and winked. “Maybe I will.”

  She sauntered away, shaking her ass as she walked.

  I thought maybe I could just fuck her and get whatever was bothering me out of my system. Maybe I could actually be happy for once. That’s what everyone always told me, “Just be happy. You have so much going for you.”

  It didn’t stop the constant pain. The anxiety. I was always drowning and I didn’t want to swim.

  Before she came up to the table, I was on social media, as usual. I was supposed to be analyzing stats for Dad’s campaign, but instead I found myself looking through my friends list. One fraternity brother got a job on Wall Street. The other was engaged. I’d graduated with my MBA in May, but couldn’t find a real job. Daddy dearest had to bail me out, working for his campaign.

  I cringed each time someone got a new milestone and I just kept trying to stay afloat. I wanted to say it didn’t bother me, but the constant reminder that I was a failure didn’t help. Sure, people always told me I had a lot going for me and to look at all the good things, but it was easier said than done. When you were always treading water, it was hard not to drown in it.

  I looked back down at my phone. Tawny’s number was one of the last to text me. I didn’t mind her, but she did talk too damn much. But I also knew she might have something else to make the pain go away.

  I poured myself a drink and sent a text to Tawny to meet me at the club. It was either going to be a very long night, or one I wouldn’t even remember.

  ***

  I waited a few minutes before I grabbed my coat and headed downstairs. I didn’t know where I was going to go until I saw Trigg in the window of the coffee shop. I opened the door and then took the empty seat across from him.

  He looked up from his laptop and smirked. “Nice shade of lipstick.”

  I wiped my mouth. I should have probably done that before I left the house but I wanted to still taste her. Still remember that it happened. That it was real.

  “Yeah. Thanks.”

  “So you and Sam screw and get it out of your system so I can work in the apartment now?”

  I raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been working somewhere else just because you thought I was going to fuck her?”

  “It was better than listening to you two flirt all day. Seriously, I’ve been waiting to wake up in the middle of the night to hear you two going at it.”

  I opened my mouth and then shut it again before shaking my head. “No. We didn’t fuck. We just kissed. Then she bailed like I was poison or something.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “You’re not serious, are you?”

  “Serious as shit, Trigg.”

  He closed his laptop. “That doesn’t make any sense. The girl’s in love with you.”

  I almost choked on my own spit so I coughed and then patted my chest until I was able to finally get some air into my lungs. “What the hell did you just say?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Like you seriously couldn’t tell? She would do anything for you and she does. She’s already pretty much put herself into the role of your girlfriend and you’ve hardly seemed to notice.”

  I shook my head. “I’ve only known her a few weeks. There is no way you could love someone in that short amount of time.”

  Trigg shrugged. “I don’t know about that one. You’re talking to a guy who is a father. The moment I first saw Bella, all bloody and screaming, I was in love.”

  “Yeah, but that’s your daughter. You didn’t feel that way about Roni right away.”

  He smiled slightly. “Yeah, but I met Roni in kindergarten. I didn’t love anything that wasn’t an action figure at that time. It took me until middle school and she got breasts for me to realize there was something special
about her.”

  I groaned. The two childhood sweethearts. They were the ones that my parents always talked about when I was hooking up with random girls. ‘Why can’t you find a nice girl like Trigg? That Veronica comes from such a good family and she’s so nice.’ But I guess Roni wasn’t that great if, after spending their whole lives together she decided to throw it away.

  He sighed. “Look. I’m not saying I’m right, but maybe open your eyes. She’ll come around to you eventually.” He slid his laptop into his messenger bag. “And until then, you figure out what you want. Get those interviews in line or whatever you have to do to make yourself happy then I’m sure the other cards will fall in place.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

  He stood up and put his bag over his shoulder. “I guess you’ll know when you figure it out.”

  ***

  I didn’t know what Trigg was talking about. I thought I might feel better after talking to him but instead I just felt more fucked up.

  I needed to escape my head for awhile and I knew what would help me do that.

  The familiar hum of the tattoo needle and angry music was like the soundtrack of my life. Tawny was at the desk; this time she traded in her white-out contacts for purple ones and her hair was in a million little braids falling around her face.

  “Hey, Tripp, you in for a new piece?” She grinned from ear-to-ear.

  There wasn’t anyone in the waiting area and I didn’t see Frankie so I figured it was safe. I folded my hands on the top of the desk and leaned in. “I’m actually thinking you could help me with something else.”

  Her smile turned coy and she ran her tongue across her lip. It was split like a snake and made her look even more like a cartoon. “My break is in a few minutes.”

  I focused on the stars and tribal symbols on her collar bone instead of looking at her. I should have known she would want sex to go with it. “Do you have anything good on you?” I cut to the chase.

  Her smile turned into a grimace. “Aren’t you just out of rehab?”

  I didn’t want to talk about this. She was a fucking dealer who worked a tattoo shop. Who was she to judge? “Yes. But I’m a grown ass man and I know what I want. Are we going to get high and fuck or do I need to go to another dealer?”

  She sighed. “Yeah. I’ll meet you out back at my car in ten. It’s the white SUV. I’m sure you remember the backseat well.”

  I nodded and pushed back off the desk. “Yep. I’ll see you soon.”

  I turned and walked out of the shop without looking back. The only problem was, to get to the lot where Tawny’s car was parked I had to go past The Pancake House. I hoped that Sam wasn’t there. I knew she wasn’t working, but that wouldn’t stop her from picking up a shift if she had to get away.

  “Tripp! Hey Tripp!” A familiar, high-pitched voice called and Mikey ran out of the shop.

  I smiled without even forcing it. “Hey, bro, what’s going on?”

  He fist bumped me. “Not much. I just wanted to let you know I got an A on my history test and you totally turned my mom’s view around about tattoos! She said maybe when I’m eighteen she’ll actually let me get one if I keep getting A’s.”

  “That’s fucking awesome! Good job!”

  His smile widened. “Yeah, is that where you’re headed now? I mean to get a tattoo? Or are you going to see Sam?”

  I shook my head and shoved my hands in my pockets, looking down at the ground. I couldn’t bear to tell the kid the truth. “No, just meeting up with a friend.”

  “Oh, that’s cool. I was just waiting for my mom to take her lunch. End of the year means I get to go to the shrink.”

  I looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. “You only go to the shrink at the end of the year?”

  I went to mine every two weeks. Not that there was a lot of help with it, but at least I knew I was getting my medication and someone was there.

  “Yeah. Kind of sucks. Mom’s insurance shit is really high so we have to wait until the end of the year to get in. Sometimes I get lucky and he refills my prescriptions for six months out so I only have to go every other day without a pill..”

  I widened my eyes without meaning to. Fuck. How was that fair at all? This kid definitely needed someone there for him and instead he had to worry about the money to afford basic care? Would it have been the same if he broke his arm? Probably not. Someone would have taken them right away and shit would have gotten figured out.

  His mom walked out of the front of the shop, a giant wool coat over her broad frame. “Mikey, you ready?” She nodded in my direction. “Hello, Tripp. If you're looking for Sam, she’s not here yet. She’s supposed to be working the afternoon shift.”

  I smiled politely. “Thanks, ma’am.”

  “Tripp was just on his way to get another tattoo. Maybe I’ll be able to go with him someday,” Mikey said, looking over at his mom.

  She smiled, patting his head. “Maybe if you keep getting A’s.”

  He laughed. “See, I told you, Tripp! She’s coming around.”

  “Awesome, bro.” I put out my fist and he bumped it. “See you around, okay?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, see you around.”

  As I watched Mikey and his mom walk away, the things he said and all that Sam and Trigg had said were swirling in my head. It took me a few minutes before I could focus and unjumble the words.

  Instead of heading toward the parking lot, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and started heading in the other direction as I dialed.

  I slid my phone up to my ear and the person answered on the second ring.

  “Hey, Mom, are you free?”

  Chapter 13

  Thanksgiving was a few days away so every place was packed with people getting supplies. Of course my parents had people to do that for them, so my mom was free to meet at our favorite sushi place for lunch.

  “Hey, Mom, thanks for coming on such short notice.”

  She kissed my cheek before taking the seat across from me in the small booth.

  “No problem. I just got out of book club so I had some free time.” She unrolled her cloth napkin and put it on her lap. “I can always make time for you.”

  I knew she was being genuine when she said it. I’d always had a soft spot for my mom. While Dad was always pushing us about family pride and the Chapman name, Mom never expected that. She always wanted us to be ourselves and even said she liked some of my tattoos...just never in front of Dad.

  “I emailed Roni and asked her what time their plane was landing, but she informed me that she wasn’t sure if she and Bella would be able to come in for dinner. Is there something I’m missing? Did we make her mad?” Mom asked.

  Shit. I should have known she’d have questions for me. I guess it was better to tell the truth as much as I could, without giving away all of Trigg’s secrets.

  “I don’t know. Roni always seems to have a stick up her ass. She’s probably mad at Trigg for something or other and just didn’t want to talk about it.”

  Mom nodded, seeming to accept that. Thank God. I didn’t want her to pry too much because I was sure that I’d spill everything.

  We talked for a few minutes about random shit, before she folded her hands on the table. I guess she was done with the small talk and wanted to cut to the chase. “Now how much money do you need and who did you piss off?”

  I coughed out a laugh and shook my head. Shit, did I really ask to bail me out that often? I must be one hell of a bad son.

  “No, nobody is pissed off at me. That I know of at least. Well, probably a few women and you may need to worry about your fifteen hundred grandbabies that will someday come out of the wood work and ask me to help pay their college tuition.”

  She smirked. “Very funny, Tripp.”

  The waitress, a small woman who barely looked at us, came by the table and took our order.

  As soon as the waitress was gone, Mom looked at me, her eyes steely. “Okay, Tripp. Tell me wha
t’s going on.”

  I let out a deep breath and rubbed the back of my neck. “Well, I’ve been going on a lot of interviews lately and not been hired anywhere. It actually isn’t a bad thing because I don’t think I would have wanted any of those jobs.”

  “Oh?” She raised an eyebrow.

  “Yeah, I’ve been talking to this...friend...and they’ve been asking me what I really wanted to do and it’s taken me awhile to figure it out, but I think I finally do and it’s not sitting behind a desk at some investment firm.” I could have said “she” but I didn’t want any more questions about a girl.

  Mom folded her hands together and leaned in. “So, tell me, Tripp, what is that you want to do?”

  “Well, I think I want to help people, but not like Trey and Dad do with politics. I want to form a non-profit to help out kids who are depressed or have other mental illness and don’t have what’s necessary to get proper medical treatment. Kids whose parents are working all the time and can’t afford good insurance and have to wait months to get proper care. Kids who don’t really want to go see a shrink and would rather just hang out with someone else and not feel like they're being analyzed.”

  Mom nodded slightly. “Wow. That sounds like a good idea. Something that’s close to your heart.”

  “Yeah, I honestly have no idea where I’d start other than I have a plan and I want to run with it. I can contact some guys from my fraternity that have connections in non-profit business planning and I’m sure Dad and Trey could help me out with the legalities.”

  She nodded again. “So, what do you need from me?”

  I drummed my hands on the table. This was the part I hated. I hated to ask my parents for anything, but this was something I knew I couldn’t do on my own. “I want to cash in part of my inheritance from Grandpa to use for startup costs. It’ll help put a down payment on a lease for a place and get the ball rolling.”

  She let out a deep breath through her nose. “You know that you and your brothers aren’t supposed to get your inheritance until you’re married or turn thirty.”