The Only Way

by Magan Vernon

  I shook my head trying to get the dirty thoughts out of my head, especially when I was standing in front of my mom.

  “Don’t worry, Mom, I’m sure as soon as I get a girlfriend, you’ll be the first to know.”

  She smirked and smacked my shoulder. “Oh, stop, William.”

  I laughed. “Okay. Okay.” I blew out a breath. “Well, now that we’re done with that meeting, I’m gonna go have a smoke. Unless you want to discuss our board of directors meeting with Trigg?”

  Mom smiled and patted my shoulder. “No, you go. We’ll talk next week and you can send a calendar invite for our big board of directors meeting.”

  “Will do,” I said and turned, pulling my cigarettes out of my pocket and heading for the front door.

  I would have gone out the back but there was still people around and I didn’t want to small talk with anyone. I just wanted to have my smoke, text Sam, and possibly get a ride home with Trey and Monica if Trigg was going to be awhile.

  As soon as I got to the front circle drive, I pulled my lighter out of my pocket. Cupping my hand over my mouth, I lit the cigarette, sucking in a deep breath and blowing it out.

  Yeah, I knew the shit was bad for me. A lot of stuff was bad for me, but sometimes it helped just to concentrate on the taste of nicotine and the slow inhale and exhale of breath it took with each puff.

  A car pulled up that I didn’t recognize.

  It was getting darker but I could still see the silhouette of a woman in the front seat. She shuffled around before opening the front door then closing it and opening the back door to pull out a baby carrier that was covered with a pink blanket.

  I should have known that head of overly styled brown hair: Veronica.

  As soon as she saw me standing by some of the hedges she put on the fake smile that she always did when she saw me. Like she was forced to put up with me.

  “Hello, Tripp, I didn’t see you there,” she said in that voice that always made it sound like she had a stick shoved up her ass.

  I flicked my cigarette and took one last drag before putting it out. I knew she’d have a shit fit if I walked any closer to her baby with a lit cigarette. “It’s okay. I wasn’t exactly trying to stand out. Just had to get away for a bit.”

  She held the carrier close to her chest and nodded. As I stepped closer, I couldn’t help but notice how wide her golden eyes were. She was staring at me as if she was afraid. Like she would get back in her car and run at any second.

  “You know...my parents don’t exactly know what’s been going on with you and Trigg. He’s been crashing at my place since he’s been here.”

  She licked her lips and nodded. “Yeah. He told me that.”

  I tilted my head. “Is that why you look like a deer caught in headlights to walk in there?”

  She let out a breath and her shoulders slumped. “Yes. Yes it is. Sorry. This all just sort of awkward.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “You want to walk in with me so I don’t feel like such an outcast? Or do you have somewhere to be?” She raised her way-too-thin eyebrows.

  I smiled and shoved my hands in my pockets. I didn’t think the girl actually liked me, but I knew she was desperate if she was asking me and it could help break up the tension with Trigg. “Yeah. I can do that. Want me to carry Bella?”

  “Oh, thanks. That would be great!” She handed me the carrier and I swore it weighed about one-hundred pounds. I tried not to groan as I lifted the dead weight.

  “She just fell asleep on the way over, but hopefully she’ll wake up a little bit to see everyone.”

  I nodded. “Yeah. I’m sure Mom and Dad would like that.”

  “You know I didn’t mean to hurt them or anyone else in your family. It was just...” She sighed. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. You probably don’t even care or maybe you’re high, but...”

  I stuck my hand out and then swayed so I was in front of her. “Whoa. I’m not high. Two months sober. Thank you. And of course I care what’s going on with you and Trigg. He’s my brother. You’re the mother of my first niece.”

  She nodded. “Thanks, Tripp. I know we haven’t always gotten along the best.”

  Yeah. This was the bitch who referred to me as the “scary tattooed uncle,” but I was starting to learn that maybe second chances weren’t such a bad thing.

  ***

  Bella woke up as soon as we got in the house, which meant there was no way in hell that Trigg was going to be ready to leave anytime soon.

  I watched as he sat on the floor, holding the giggling little brunette up in his arms and making stupid faces. It was the happiest and most carefree I’d seen him in weeks.

  I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Trey and Monica standing behind me with their coats on. “Hey, Tripp, we’re heading back to the city if you want to ride with us.”

  I took another glance at Trigg then nodded. Trigg needed his time with his girls and there was someone I was definitely eager to see as well. “Yeah. That sounds great.”

  ***

  Trey played Christmas music the entire way back to the city. Not the somber, classical shit, but some upbeat, poppy tracks that Monica sang along to loudly. Normally I would have complained but Sam had sent me a text that she was going to be leaving work soon and I was relishing the thought of getting back to the city and getting some alone time before Trigg came back.

  “You want to come by the house for a bit? You can always rock out to some more Christmas music with us and have hot cocoa?” Monica asked, staring at my reflection in the rearview mirror.

  I laughed. “As enticing as that sounds, I think I’ll pass.”

  Trey put his hand on hers. “Come on, Mon. You know he has to see his new girlfriend.”

  Monica whipped around, her red hair flying around her head like a spilled bottle of ketchup. “You have a girlfriend?”

  I glared at Trey. “I do not have a girlfriend, but I guess Trigg likes to say that I do.”

  Monica frowned. “Seriously? Don’t play this like it’s a middle school crush. Are you seeing a girl or not?”

  I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. There was no use hiding it and Monica would keep digging anyway. “Yeah. I guess you could say I am.”

  She swatted Trey’s arm as she turned back to the front. “Ha! I told you he did! That’s why he’s been so happy lately. Not drugs.”

  “Is this what you two do all day? Sing cheesy songs and talk about my relationship status?”

  Monica laughed. “What else do we have to do?”

  “So when are you going to introduce her to the family?” Trey asked.

  I shook my head. “It’s not that kind of relationship, okay? I just want to see where it goes. No labels. Just us, hanging out.”

  Trey glanced at Monica. “Yeah. I’ve heard that before.”

  Monica squeezed his hand.

  I let out a deep breath. I really didn’t know where we were going or what the hell I was doing. I just knew that I liked Sam. I really did. But I had a way of fucking up good things really easily and hopefully she wouldn’t be one of them.

  Chapter 16

  Sam was already passed out in bed when I got home.

  Trey and Monica kept insisting that I come over to their place, but I told them I just wanted to relax.

  Which was half the truth.

  I wanted Sam to be up. To tell her about everything that happened with my parents and that we were able to keep moving forward with the business plan.

  But I couldn’t.

  Instead of her sitting up and waiting for me, she was curled up in a ball on one side of the bed. Her red hair splayed across my pillow. A brilliant bit of color among all the white.

  I stripped out of my suit, tossing it on the pile of my other clothes. Sam had a knack for doing my laundry and taking my suits to the dry cleaner without me even asking. I was starting to wonder if maybe she didn’t see me romantically at all. Maybe I was just like a kid to her.
Someone she had to take care of.

  I wanted to be the one to take care of her.

  After I slid on my pajama pants I crawled into bed. Usually we each had our own side of the bed and didn’t cross it, but tonight something drew me closer.

  Maybe it was looking at her pale face in the moonlight or the feeling of wanting to be close. Slowly, I slid closer to her side of the bed. I was so close that I could feel the heat of her body. But before I could slip my arm around her, a low growl came from underneath the covers. I lifted them up to come face to face with Hashtag Cat, who promptly swatted me in the face.

  “Ah, fuck!” I grabbed my nose and scooted back.

  It was just a scratch but it still stung like a bitch.

  The cat looked at me as smugly then curled up on the pillow next to Sam, making sure there was no way I was going to get closer to her.

  “Cock block,” I murmured.

  Hashtag Cat just closed his eyes and it looked like he was smiling. As if he’d won something.

  I went back to my own side of the bed and laid down, keeping my eyes on the cat. I wasn’t sure if he was planning on attacking me again in the middle of the night, but I couldn’t take any chances. I was always afraid of what would happen next. No matter what the circumstance.

  Usually I drowned it out with whatever I could snort or smoke. I’d take whatever pills I could get my hands on just so I didn’t have to feel. The darkness had started to become my home.

  It was why I got my MBA, because I was afraid of what would happen next and wasn't ready for the real world. It was why I took the pills and drank them down with a bottle like candy. I didn’t know what the fuck I was going to do with my life. I didn’t have a direction.

  Now I did.

  I had a plan. I had a girl in my bed. And a fucking cat.

  Life was getting pretty damn interesting.

  ***

  I thought I was up pretty early the next morning, but not as early as Trigg.

  I opened my eyes and looked over to the other side of the bed where Sam was sitting up with her laptop on her lap and the cat still purring next to her.

  “Mornin’,” I said, stretching my arms out.

  She smiled, glancing at me. “Morning.”

  “Hey, if you two are going to stay in bed all day, do you want me to bring the pancakes over there? I have to get going,” Trigg yelled from the kitchen.

  He then walked the few steps over to where the bed was. “Roni and I talked last night. She and Monica are going to go shopping today, so Trey and I are going to watch Bella at their place. I wanted to head over early, but wanted to get breakfast and a workout in first.”

  I laughed. “Trigg, did anyone ever tell you that you’re like a fucking Chihuahua.”

  He shook his head and walked back into the kitchen. “You wait until you have kids. You find that you never sleep and that getting things done early is way easier.”

  I looked over at Sam. She was looking at me and smiling.

  “Whatever you say, Trigg,” I said, keeping my eyes on Sam.

  I reached out and grabbed her hand. She didn’t flinch and let me take it, rubbing my thumb along her knuckles. Even in the cold Chicago winter, her hands were smooth and delicate.

  “Okay. I’m heading out. Pancakes are on the counter. I’ll have my cell if you need me,” Trigg said, half way out the door.

  “Yep. Sounds good.” I barely looked in his direction. My eyes were focused intently on Sam’s and watching the golden flecks that mixed in with the green color.

  I wanted to kiss her, so fucking bad. My dick was begging for attention as well. I leaned closer, seeing how far she’d let me go.

  Not too fucking far because Hashtag Cat jumped up, every hair on his back standing on end as he hissed at me then swatted my nose. Again.

  “Fucking cat!” I yelled, holding my face and sitting up.

  Sam put her laptop on the bedside table and grabbed the cat. “Hashtag Cat, what has gotten into you?”

  I pulled my hand away from my face. No blood.

  “Is the cat always like that?” I asked.

  Sam shook her head, petting the cat as it calmed down and curled up on her lap. “No. He only seems to get like this when guys try to get close to me. It’s like he’s protecting me from getting hurt.”

  Her eyes stayed on the cat, never once looking at me.

  I crawled over, getting as close to her as I dared without having the cat attack me again. “Look, this probably sounds cheesy as hell, but I have no plans on hurting you.”

  “Does anyone really plan on hurting someone? I mean unless they’re a serial killer or something?” Sam asked.

  I couldn’t help but smile. “I’m not a serial killer. I believe you were the one that said you were going to tie me to the bed and leave me with the cat on my dick.”

  She shook her head. “I’m serious, Tripp. Do you think what we’re doing is just going to lead to something bad? Like one big fucked up car crash that we don’t want to happen, but we can’t step on the brakes to stop it?”

  Slowly I lifted my hand up and put it on her chin, delicately pushing it up so that she was forced to meet my eyes. “This isn’t a car crash. Anything that feels this right can’t be bad. Yeah. Maybe we’ll try dating and find out that we’re better off as friends, but no matter what happens, I think we’ll both just sit here wondering what could have been if we don’t at least go for this.”

  She finally smiled. “Okay. I guess you’re right.”

  “I know I am.”

  I leaned in, but she put her hand up. “Just don’t kiss me right now because 1.) I’m afraid of what Hashtag Cat will do and 2.) Your breath smells like swamp donkey.”

  I pulled back and laughed. “Okay. I get the hint. I’ll brush my teeth.” I stood up and headed toward the bathroom.

  “Hey, swamp donkey, while you’re up can you get me some pancakes? Trigg is a way better cook than the both of us.”

  I looked back at her and smiled. “Is that your idea of a new nickname?”

  She smiled. “Yup, and if you could get me some pumpkin butter to go with the pancakes then maybe I’ll just shorten it to Swampy in public.”

  I tossed one of the pancakes like a Frisbee. Sam put her hand up and deflected it before it hit her. Hashtag Cat leaped up and started munching it off the spot where it landed on the bed.

  “How’s that for Swampy?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “Nope. It’s now going to forever be Swamp Donkey. You lost your privileges.”

  I opened the door to the bathroom. “Well, in that case, I’m going to shower. If you want to join me, there’s more than enough room for the two of us and you can make sure I don’t smell like the swamp.”

  She pursed her lips together. “There’s no way we’d both fit in that shower.”

  I grinned. “Only one way to find out.”

  She stood up from the bed and slowly sauntered toward me, raising an eyebrow. “You sure about that, Swampy?”

  Slowly, she pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside. My eyes trailed from the sparrows on her chest to her perky breasts with pretty pink nipples that had tiny little hoops through each one. An array of colorful flowers curved down her breast to each hip, a contrast to her delicate white skin. I wanted to run my tongue over each bit of color and go as low as she’d let me.

  She said she wanted to take it slow. To ease into things. Normally I would have jumped her. I would have taken those pierced nipples in my mouth and made her beg for more.

  But what if we did fuck and then she was done? That’s what I usually wanted, but something was pushing me away. I may have joked about it, but when it came down to it, I couldn’t. Not now.

  I shook my head. “On second thought. I think it could be a liability. One of us could fall and break the other’s arm. No way would I want to show up at the ER with a broken dick.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Are you seriously turning me down after you basically begged
me to jump on your dick?”

  I couldn’t fuck her. Not now. No matter how bad I wanted to.

  I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. “As much as I want to, now isn’t the best time.”

  “Seriously? You have to be kidding.”

  I shook my head and swallowed hard. “Let’s do this the right way. Okay? We’ll go out tonight. We’ll do the romance thing then we’ll see where it leads us. Let’s date first.”

  She stared off into the distance. “I don’t think anyone has ever told me no,” she whispered.

  “Me neither,” I muttered.

  She picked her shirt up off the ground and slipped it back over her head. “I guess I’ll have some breakfast.”

  I nodded. “Yeah. I’ll see you after my shower.”

  I closed the door behind me and leaned against the door. My dick was practically popping out of my pants like it was about to yell at me.

  “Not now,” I said in my own head.

  I figured I’d have to beat myself off in the shower and I was okay with it. Better than something we’d both regret later.

  I pushed off the door and walked the few steps to the shower. Once I turned on the water and it practically burned, I shucked off my pants and stepped in.

  The scalding water hit my skin and I let it wash over me. I wanted to get lost focusing on the shower, but there was something about the darkness that always found me.

  Tawny’s large breasts bounced in my face. I sipped on my drink while she continued riding my dick. She didn’t care if I was paying attention to her, just as long as she got off. At least fucking her kept my mind occupied for a little while. The pills and drinks took care of the rest.

  I barely even blinked when she rolled off of me and laid on the couch next to me. Her plaid skirt barely fell over her exposed center. “Fucking awesome,” she murmured.

  “Yeah.” I peeled off the condom. At some point I guess I finished, but I barely felt it. My body was already going numb and that’s how I liked it.

  “You wanna smoke?” Tawny asked, reaching over to one of her end tables and grabbed a pipe.

  “Yeah.” I took the piece she handed me and took in a deep drag before blowing it out.