Save My Soul

by K. S. Haigwood

  He gave me a puzzled look. "Sooo, how are you going to get into his heart later when he stops by?"

  I smiled. "By getting into his pants."

  His jaw dropped, and his grin was long gone. "I am definitely going to have to find something to distract myself later. I can't watch you be with him. I know it's meant to be but," he sighed and looked sad again. "I love you, Kendra. There have been many times that I would sit and fantasize about being with you…like that."

  I pulled in my driveway, and killed the engine. "Come inside and keep me company. I have about an hour to kill before my next appointment, and I need help brainstorming about what to do about Adam."

  We got out of the vehicle and he followed me into the house like a normal person, instead of popping from my vehicle to the inside of the house, like the angel he was.

  Hercules ran straight to him, sniffed of his feet and then sat on his haunches and looked up at Rhyan. I shook my head as I looked at my dog. "You're turning into a traitor." I walked to the kitchen and tossed my keys on the counter where I always put them. Rhyan followed me; I could feel him behind me. I tried to keep my thoughts empty, but I knew what I wanted to do.

  I turned around to face him, and pursed my lips together. "I want to ask you a question, Rhyan. You said that you fantasize about being with me, right?"

  He was definitely more alert now. His eyes grew wide. I didn't know if he was embarrassed about telling me, or if he was trying to look in my head and see what I was thinking. I kept my thoughts blank.

  He slowly nodded as if he were confused. "I do."

  I sighed. "Well, I'm not offering to fulfill your fantasy, but do you think it would complicate things between us if I kissed you?"

  He shook his head. "Not at all."

  I lowered my head and could sense him slowly walking toward me, as if he was afraid that if he moved too fast, I would change my mind. "If I kiss you now, are you certain that you won't have resentment towards me later? You know I am meant to be with Adam, but you've watched over me my whole life and I want to give you something back, something you want. I don't love Adam, not yet, but if I do fall in love with him, I will be his, not yours. You understand that, right?"

  He placed his hand gently on my cheek and stared at me with amazement shining in his eyes. I had never had anyone look at me like that, and at that moment, I wished that Rhyan was the one I was destined to be with. I wished the man in front of me was my soulmate.

  He moved his hand to the back of my neck and pulled me to him. A small sound escaped my throat as our lips touched. I wrapped my arms around his waist, and then opened my mouth to him so we could explore further. I had never in my life been kissed like this. It felt like I was floating on a cloud somewhere alone with him. The kiss became hungrier. We were pressed together so close it was like we were trying to switch places with each other.

  I wanted him, and he knew I did. I wanted to be with him like this, and more, forever. I could feel the love rushing through my veins, heading for my heart. I knew it had to be love. I had never felt anything so strong and wonderful in all my life.

  Rhyan suddenly broke the kiss and pushed away from me. I stumbled a little and braced myself on the kitchen counter. Before I could even think, he started speaking.

  "I'm sorry, Kendra. I am so sorry. I didn't mean for it to go that far…"

  I reached for him, but he only shook his head and took a step away from me. "Those aren't your feelings. You don't love me, not really. Those are the feelings I have for you. The guardians are very powerful, or very weak. I am very powerful, because you have chosen me over your guardian demon. Patrick is very weak, and if he had kissed you the effect wouldn't have been the same. I was so strong that you were feeling my feelings for you. They were not your own, and I am sorry to have burdened you with this."

  My chest was aching and I put my hand over my heart. A tear fell on my arm. He looked at it and cupped his hands over his mouth for a moment.

  "You are now feeling my broken heart." he said after he let his hands fall away. "I have to go so it doesn't get worse for you." he lowered his head then, and I wanted to scream out, "How the hell could it get worse?" I felt like someone was trying to rip my heart out of my chest. "I will never touch you again. I'm sorry. I don't feel like I can apologize enough to make up for this." He popped out of my kitchen, and I stared at the blank place where he'd been.

  My doorbell rang. I wiped at my eyes and tried to pull myself together. I'd found out how it felt to love, and moments later, was intensely aware of how a broken heart felt. I didn't like the second feeling at all.

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  Chapter Twenty-one

  My first client was more than forty-five minutes early, but I didn't mind. I needed the distraction. I took my time with her and gave her more poses than I do for most clients. I was work focused now, so any thoughts of the new men in my life, including Rhyan, were pushed into the shadows.

  I finished with her, and was able to work through two more clients in record time.

  I was finishing up with my third client after lunch when my phone rang. I let the machine get it. If it was important, they would leave a message, and I could call them back.

  It was Kobhye again. She was threatening my life if I didn't return her call today. She ended by saying that she was going to drive over and check on me later. Panic shot through me. Adam would be here later. I ran for the phone and got there just before she hung up.

  "Hello! I'm here," I said a little breathless.

  "What were you doing, Kendra? Is Aven over there?" Why did everyone think I was always having sex?

  "No. He isn't. I'm working. I have a client. Senior shots all this week and next." I took a breath. "I'm fine. I've just been working really hard since I got out of the hospital. That's why I haven't returned anyone's calls. I'm sorry."

  "Okay. Hey, what's the name of that sexy-ass doctor of yours? Can you get his number for me?"

  Shit!

  "Um, I'm sort of seeing that sexy-ass doctor. It isn't monogamous or anything, but I think it may be soon." There was silence on the line for a moment.

  "Oh well, then how about that good looking nurse that was with you when you came into the waiting room."

  Shit! I was seeing him too, but I knew it couldn't last with Mason. I had to cut him loose eventually, better sooner than later. "I'll see what I can do about Mason," I told her, then I said I had to get back to work and we said our good-byes.

  I hung up the phone and laid it on the counter. It was good to know I didn't have to worry about her showing up. I turned and started for my studio when the phone shrieked again. I answered it. If I let the machine get it, and it was someone else threatening to drop by, I'd just have to come back and answer it anyway.

  "Hello." I had a slight feeling of déjà vu.

  "Kendra?"

  "Adam…" My elbows had been propped on the edge of the counter, but the moment I heard his voice, my knees buckled and I went down. The cordless phone fell out of my hand, hit the floor and slid under the dining table. I crawled quickly to retrieve it and put it to my ear.

  "Adam,"

  "Kendra, are you all right?"

  "Yeah, sorry I…I fell." I felt like such a klutz.

  He laughed. He had such a good laugh, and I was sure he didn't do nearly enough of it. "Well, you're really one for accidents this week. Are you normally so clumsy?"

  "No." I said as I rolled my eyes. "You need directions?"

  "Actually, I don't. I got your address from your medical records, and I used my GPS to find your house. I'm standing at your front door." I looked at the phone then heard the knock at the door. Well, shit. I thought I was going to have at least thirty minutes to mentally prepare for his arrival.

  I walked, phone in hand, to the door and opened it. Kobhye had been right; he was sexy. He didn't have to try to be, he just was. He was still wearing the smile I'd heard over the phone a second ago, and I felt myself start to swoon. I regained my
composure enough to turn my head. I had to get better control over myself. I was going plain stupid over men lately.

  I opened the door a little wider so he could enter. "Come on in, Adam. I'm just finishing up with a client." I looked at my watch. 4 p.m. Where had the time gone? "My next appointment should be here any minute." I glanced over his shoulder, and saw that my next appointment was indeed arriving now. "And there he is."

  I could hear the girl I'd been shooting walking up behind me. "That was great, Ms. Larkin. I know those pictures are going to look awesome." She handed me some folded bills and walked past me. She slowed a little when she passed by Adam, no doubt trying to make eye contact with him, but he wasn't looking at her. His eyes were on me. She turned back to me and smiled. "Thanks again, bye."

  The girl stopped to talk to the guy that was getting out of his truck. I wasn't going to wait on him. He could knock or come in when he was ready. I turned to head back into the house and asked Adam to shut the door behind him. He closed the door and joined me in the kitchen. I got down a glass from the cabinet. "Want something to drink, tea, coke, Mt. Dew, Dr. Pepper, Sprite, water…"

  He laughed softly. "Dr. Pepper is fine." I grabbed two of those from the fridge and handed one of them and a glass with ice in it to him.

  "What time does your on call shift end? I have a bottle of wine I was thinking of opening up after my last appointment leaves." I opened my soft drink and took a drink from the can. I noticed that Adam had set his glass on the counter and was drinking from the can as well.

  "I actually got out of being on call tonight. Richardson is taking over for me." So, I was important enough for him to find a replacement. I must be making progress. "I don't have any objections to wine later."

  I heard my front door open, then footsteps coming toward us.

  My next client was Quarterback of the Cougars and class president. Alex Marks stood, in all of his splendor, at the edge of my kitchen. I could see why all the girls in school were in love with him. He definitely had the looks, but I knew Alex and his family, and he was really a down to earth nice guy. He also had a very large crush on me.

  He had on that nervous smile he always wore around me. "Hi, Kendra." He eyed Adam a little suspiciously.

  "Well hello, Alex. Are you ready to get your picture taken?" I said with a smile.

  He nodded toward Adam. "He gonna be here the whole time?" It really wasn't like Alex to be rude, but like I said, he was crushing on me big time; had been ever since he was fifteen and hit puberty.

  Adam gave a snicker. "I can leave if it's going to be a problem for you, man."

  "No, you're not." I said, then gave Alex "the look".

  He dropped his eyes, like a toddler who had just gotten in trouble for touching something he wasn't supposed to. "It isn't a problem."

  "I don't think so either. Now, let's go take some kick ass photos of you so you can give them out to all those girls who dream of you at night."

  He smiled shyly. "Can I give one to you?"

  I gave him my best smile. "I would love a picture of you, Alex. I'll put it in a frame on my bedside table." I knew it was wrong to lead the boy on, but he would grow out of this nonsense sooner or later. I looked at Adam. He was watching the whole thing with silent laughter.

  Alex assessed Adam again, then said, "You a nurse or something?" I took that as my cue to get my props set up for his first shots. I was listening to their conversation, but wasn't adding in any of my thoughts.

  "Or something…I'm a doctor, a surgeon. I actually saved Kendra's life a couple of days ago." Adam said and I could feel Alex' stare when he looked at me. I cringed. As far as I knew, he hadn't heard anything about the accident, and I had wanted to keep it that way.

  "That true, Kendra? Did you almost die? You didn't call me? I mean, you didn't call my mom?" The look of horror was real in his eyes. He was really smitten with me.

  I shook my head. "It wasn't as bad as Adam is making out, but yes, he was there when I needed him." I gave Adam "the look" and he must have understood me, because he changed the subject.

  "So, you play football…or something?" Adam nodded to the Nike duffle bag Alex was carrying. There was a helmet sitting atop it.

  Alex nodded then went straight to talking football. Guys were so easily distracted. I finished setting up then gave a deafening whistle through my fingers. It would be the only way to get the guys' attention away from sports. They both shut up and turned to stare at me. Good, I still had it in me. I hadn't whistled like that in years.

  "I'm ready for you. We'll take a few shots with what you're wearing then you can change behind that screen over there." I wanted to make it perfectly clear where he would need to change. I didn't want any misunderstandings like I'd had the other night with Mason. I was positive the boy had a nice body, but I was eleven years older than him, for Christ's sake, and I wasn't a cougar. It was sooo not going to happen with me and Alex, no matter what he dreamed would someday happen.

  I walked to Adam with a big smile on my face. "What?" he said.

  I took his hand in mine and led him to the props where Alex was standing. I let go and went to set Alex in his first pose. It was a pose that I used with every senior. He was leaning with his elbow propped on a pedestal, with his fist to his temple. "Class of 2012 was written in block letters running down the length of the wooden pedestal. I made sure he was perfect then went back to Adam.

  I positioned my camera on the tripod and brought Alex into focus. I leaned back and then handed the clicker to Adam. He took it, but looked at it like it was a snake about to bite him. He could make a precision cut in human flesh with a scalpel, but he couldn't take a photo. I found that freaking hilarious.

  I laughed then pointed at the camera and told him to look. "You have to wait for the perfect moment, then capture it. A person's features are constantly changing. You tell them to smile or not, and they do what you ask, but different parts of their body are moving in tiny fractions every second. I could have him stand like that, tell him not to move, take ten pictures, and every one of them would look different. That's why we take so many shots of the same pose. Then we choose the one that's the best. You're going to have some fun today, Adam."

  "Wait, he's taking my pictures?" Alex said, aghast.

  I laughed. "Not all of them. I'll take most of them, but Adam here is going to learn to have fun, and learn something new while doing it; something that doesn't require saving lives, but rather seeing the beauty in life."

  Alex rolled his eyes, but he didn't say anything else. Adam was still looking at me with a horrified expression.

  "When I tell you to click, push this in like this." I looked back at Alex and said, "Smile!" he complied, and I said, "Click," then pushed gently on Adam's finger. The camera came to life and made the familiar, comforting sound it did when it captured an image.

  Adam's face lit up like a kid at a carnival. Had he never taken a picture before? It was good to see him smiling. I wanted to keep that smile planted there for the rest of his life. I realized then, that I wanted to be there to see it for the rest of his life…or the rest of mine, however long that may be.

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  Chapter Twenty-two

  We worked with Alex through five different poses. Adam was really kind of a natural. There were a few times when I was about to say "click," that he went with his own instincts and took the shot before I could say anything. He smiled at me every time he did it. I would compliment him and smile each time. The majority of the time I had to tell him to click, when I would look at him, he would be watching me instead of Alex. I wanted him to have fun, and if watching me was fun for him, we were heading in the right direction.

  While Alex changed from his football uniform back to his khaki shorts and t-shirt, I put my props away and began setting up for my next appointment. A girl named Amy was due here at five. I didn't know her, but then again, I didn't know most of the kid's names, only their faces.

  Alex hugged me goodby
e and paid me for the sitting fee. "Mom told me to tell you to call her sometime. I think she wants to catch you up on the town gossip or something."

  I laughed. "That's probably exactly why she wants me to call her. Tell her I have a lot going on right now, but as soon as things slow down a bit, I will."

  He nodded and eyed Adam again, but finally smiled and stuck out his hand. Adam grinned and shook it. "You got a great girl here. Treat her right, or someone else will be trying to save your life."

  "Alex!" I exclaimed in disbelief.

  Adam laughed. "I believe you, Alex. Maybe we will come to some of your games this year."

  I was in shock. I had to be. Not only did he not deny that we were seeing each other, but he plainly stated that we were.

  Alex nodded then grinned at me. "I'd like that."

  I shook my head. "Have a good year," I said as he walked to the door.

  After the door closed, I turned and stared at Adam.

  "What?" he said with a smile.

  "Maybe we will come to some of your games? Since when are we a couple? Today wasn't a date, remember?" I said as I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned on the kitchen counter.

  He smiled sheepishly. "No, you're right, today wasn't a date." He moved closer to me and I straightened up a little. "Tell me why I can't stop looking at you." He stopped about five feet away from me and leaned against the counter opposite the one I was up against.

  My heart began to race, and so did my mind. If I told him, he would bolt. I had to handle this very carefully. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

  His eyes got a little wider, like he hadn't expected me to say that. "So you know why?"

  I nodded and forced myself to breathe steadily.

  "Try me." he said, and then the phone rang; saved by the bell. Hal-le-lu-jah!

  I stared at him a moment then went to get the phone off the bar. "Hello."