Past Betrayals, Past Loves

by Walters, Janet Lane;

  * * *

  Marius woke to the gray light of dawn. He eased away from Estella. She reached for him. “Must you go?”

  “I stand duty today but I will come this night. My clothes?”

  “I’ll get them.” She wrapped the toga he’d worn around herself and slipped from the room.

  Marius shook his head. He ached to possess her again. There wasn’t time for leisurely love-making. He felt sure she was too sore for a quick encounter. He had to bathe and dress and his uniforms were in his room at the barracks.

  Estella returned. “You can’t go to the barracks with my virgin’s blood on you. Caen knew how I hated the public baths so he had a heated pool built here. You can bathe there.”

  “Will you join me?” At least they could have a few more moments.

  She pulled his head down and kissed him. “Yes for the heated water will soothe my aches.”

  “Was I too rough?”

  She shook her head. “Before I married Caten Austina told me the first time leaves aches and some pain.”

  They left the sleeping room and hurried along the covered way to one of the windowless rooms at the front of the house. Many householders rented this space to shopkeepers but not this house.

  He followed her into the water. Steam rose from the pool. Estella placed his dry clothes on a bench and carried a sponge and soap to the pool. He stepped into the water and sat on one of the ledges.

  She knelt behind him and washed his back. Her touch raised his desire. “Come to me,” he whispered.

  She entered the pool. He drew her onto his lap. She leaned forward. “I feel your sword.”

  He kissed her lightly. “Would that I had time for all I would like to do.”

  She slid closer and reached to guide his throbbing shaft along her cleft. “I would have you love me.”

  He groaned and thrust into her. He laved her mouth with his tongue. He grasped her hips and rocked her. She wrapped her legs around his waist. As he moved the water churned. Marius threw back his head and spilled his seed. He held her close. “A promise of what we’ll share tonight.”

  “I’ll be waiting for your return.”

  Reluctantly he released her. “Until tonight.” He left the bath and dressed.

  When he returned at dusk he gave her a gold bracelet he’d purchased years before. As he fastened the jewelry on her wrist, she smiled. “I’ll wear this every day and my thoughts will be with you.”

  * * *

  Autumn turned to winter. Blandon left Rome to tour the estates. Estella spent her nights with Marius and her days dreaming of him. Her only worry was the number of years he had to remain with the Praetorian Guards. In the early winter, a grim Marius arrived.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  He drew her into his arms. “I’m being sent with a cohort to the Gulf of Naples to work with the Plineys. I leave in the morning.”

  “Will you be gone long?”

  He nodded. “Until summer unless there are messages to be sent to Rome.” He pulled her closer. “I will miss our nights.”

  “There is a way for us to be closer to each other and a reason for me to absent myself from Rome.”

  “How and why?”

  “I have a villa in Pompeii. We could meet there.”

  He opened the stola clasps and kissed her. As he ran his hands over her breasts he froze. “Estella, are you with child?”

  She nodded. “Austina fears people will learn and know the child isn’t Caten’s.”

  He groaned. “That would be a disaster since I am not free to marry you.”

  “If I have the baby in Pompeii and remain there for a time, the child could be passed off as Caten’s or I could adopt a child. If a widow needs a heir she can adopt.”

  He bent and kissed her abdomen.” Does anyone else know?”

  “Gratia, but she will keep our secret. The adoption was her idea and she will speak to her father and grandfather to see the matter done properly.”

  He enfolded her in his arms. “A son.”

  She gazed into his eyes. “Or a daughter.”

  He laughed. “Either will be fine.” He carried her to the bed and thrust inside. “We must make the most of this night and store memories for the nights when we’re apart.”

  She grasped his shoulders and caught his rhythm. “I will join you soon but it will seem an eternity.”

  * * *

  Just as the sun set, the ship carrying Estella and Austina reached Pompeii. Estella stared at the docks. Her heart filled with joy when she saw Marius waited. Before long, she was swept into his arms. “I feel the swell of your belly where my child grows.”

  She brushed his lips with a fleeting kiss. “Our child.”

  He laughed. “As you say. Come, I’ll find a litter to carry you to the house.”

  She shook her head. “Let us walk. The voyage seemed endless and I would stretch my legs.”

  He winked. “A walk began our adventure.”

  “Any regrets?”

  “Only that I am not free to wed you.”

  Austina signaled the baggage porters were ready. Hand in hand, Marius and Estella strode through the market. Groups of people gathered around the stalls. Some sat at tables and ate or drank. They passed the baths and reached the walled villa. Once inside the gates, Marius lifted her into his arms and carried her to the house. He entered one of the bedrooms and eased her to her feet. He fumbled to unfasten the clasps of her pella and her stola.

  “Marius, let me bathe. I’m sweaty and haven’t done more than sponge since I left Rome.” He continued undressing her. She sat the way his engorged member thrust against his kilt. “At least remove your clothes.” She stroked his thighs.

  He laughed and quickly followed her suggestion. While he undressed she sponged herself.

  He moved behind her and cupped her breasts. “Would you deny a starving man the meal he craves?”

  She touched his face. “Did you read the slogan above the gate? Lovers like bees need a life of honey.”

  “Your honey is my nectar.” He knelt and ran his tongue along her nether lips.

  “Marius, come to me.”

  His laughter ignited her. He carried her to the bed and thrust inside and paused. He caressed her breasts. “Soon our son will feed here and I will envy him.” He moved his hands over her belly. While gazing into her eyes he began to thrust and withdraw.

  Estella surrendered to the raging sensations he raised. “Now, oh, now.” She heard his roar of completion and felt the gust of his seed.

  “My love, this time we will succeed.”

  “What did he mean? She clung to him. “Never leave me.”

  He stroked her sweat-drenched skin. “Estella, I’m not a free man and may be sent away for a time. Always I will return for you are my life and my home.”

  * * *

  Winter became spring and the days moved toward summer. One morning Marius arrived in a surprise visit. He held Estella close and kissed her long and hard.

  She stroked his cheek. “You are a greedy bee.”

  “Who has no time to feast. I take a ship for Rome. I hate to leave so near to the birthing.”

  “I’ll be fine. Gratia arrives today. She brings a wet nurse and will stay until you return. Or I could travel to Rome.”

  “Wait here for me.”

  “I promise.”

  He kissed her again. “Until I return. Then we will feast for days.” As he reached the gate he turned and waved.

  * * *

  Gratia arrived at sunset for she’d been staying at her family’s villa in the hills above town. Soon after her arrival Estella’s labor began and lasted through the night. The rising sun accompanied the first cries of her son.

  Three days later the wet nurse took over the baby’s feeding. Estella’s milk was thin and the infant’s cries lusty. She regretted the loss of the closeness but the move was right and would make the adoption seem more logical. Through Gratia, petitions were sent to Rome.


  The ides of August arrived. Austina returned form the market that morning. “We must leave at once. There’s a boat for Rome in port.”

  “Why?” Estella asked.

  “I met Calpurnia’s maid in the market. She and Blandon are staying at Floria’s villa in Herculaneum and intend to visit you.”

  Estella rubbed her forehead. “I promised Marius I would wait for him here. Gratia, take the baby and nurse to Rome. Find a safe place for them. When I return I will claim him.”

  Gratia nodded. “I will keep them at our house and my father will act as his protector. Why don’t you come with us?”

  “And have Blandon and Calpurnia think I’m running from them. I’m sure Blandon suspects and will attempt to prevent the adoption. If he finds the babe here and sees how much like Marius he appears he will know. I won’t lose my child to his greed. Austina, help Gratia’s maid pack.”

  Until time to leave for the skip Estella held and loved her son. She carried him to the docks and surrendered him to the nurse. “Stay safe, my son. Grow strong. I will miss you.” She tucked the bracelet Marius had given her in his belongings and told Gratia to keep the piece for him and Marius.

  As the boat sailed she blinked tears from her eyes. Keep him safe. She walked home and wept but she knew she had done the right thing. As soon as Marius returned she would depart for Rome and claim her child.

  * * *

  On the twentieth day of August, a breathless Austina returned from the market. Her face was ashen. “What has happened?” Estella asked. Had the ship to Rome found trouble? Had something happened to Marius?

  “I’m fearful,” Austina said. “The omens are bad. Waves in the harbor leap high against the shore yet there is no sign of a storm. We must leave.”

  “I promised Marius I would want for him to return.”

  Austina stared at the sky. “Look, the birds flee. Listen to the squeals of the horses. They have more sense than you. Come, I will pack and we will go.”

  Estella shook her head. “Take the maids and guards. I will stay.”

  The older woman put her arms around Estella. “I nursed you. I walked the floor when you were sick. Though I did not birth you, you are my child. If you stay so will I.”

  The next morning when Estella woke she heard birdsong. She stared at a bright and cloudless sky. She carried her morning meal to the pool in the atrium. The bell at the entrance to the villa rang. Moments later Calpurnia and Blandon arrived.

  Estella rose. “Greetings.”

  “Why have you hidden yourself here?” Calpurnia eyes Estella as thought searching for something. “They say you seldom venture from the house.”

  Estella shrugged. “I suffered a chill and the cough lingered. I also needed quiet to grieve for my dead husband. The house in Rome was too filled with memories of my life with Caten.”

  Blandon’s gaze strafed her. “You seem fit now. Perhaps you had another reason to hide. I’ve heard rumors you intend to adopt a child. Why would a healthy young woman who is sure to marry again do that?’

  “I have no desire to wed again.” What had he learned and who had spoken?

  “That is foolish,” Blandon said.

  Estella tensed. The air felt heavy. Was the change because of the company or for some other cause?

  “We plan to spend a few days with you,” Blandon said. “I would see this child.”

  Estella sighed. “I’ve send him and his mother away. There have been ill omens of late.” She took her seat. What if Marius came while they were here?

  A loud cracking sound made her jump. The sky darkened. A bird fell at her feet. Calpurnia screamed and ran. Austina charged from the house and grasped Estella’s arm. The stench of rotten eggs filled the air. Flames spouted from the mountain. Black dust rained on them.

  Austina tugged on Estella’s arm and dragged her toward the gate. “We must flee.”

  Blandon gripped her other arm and dragged her toward the gate. He tripped over Calpurnia and fell. Estella tried to jerk free but Austina fell against her.

  “You’re mine,” Blandon said.

  “No,” Estella cried. “Marius.” Dust covered her and she couldn’t breathe.

  * * *

  “No! No!” Astrid struggled against the hands restraining her. She had to escape.

  “It’s all right.” The man’s voice was deep and strangely familiar. What had caused the edge of panic she heard in his words? He was…was…who?

  “The bracelet. Take it off.” The woman spoke in sharp clipped tones. “The same thing happened when she held the Egyptian necklace. She fainted. When it fell from her hand she woke.”

  The weight on her wrist vanished. Astrid opened her eyes. She blinked to focus. Duncan held her in his arms. For an instant another face flashed in her thoughts. She shivered. He was evil and…Clive.

  Paula knelt beside the couch. “Are you with us?”

  Astrid nodded. “I’m fine.”

  “Let me find a doctor,” Duncan said. “There are several among the guests.”

  Astrid shook her head. How could she explain her strange blackouts? She didn’t think any doctor would understand and she would end up in some hospital undergoing a battery of tests. “No need. I’m okay.”

  “What happened?” Astrid asked.

  Astrid closed her eyes but even the vague memories were gone. Except Pompeii. She had been there. She shook her head. “I…I don’t think I can explain. Maybe once I make sense of some vague memories I’ll know.”

  “Will you tell me?” Duncan asked. “I’m still not convinced this isn’t the result of some illness.”

  Astrid sat up. “This has happened several times recently.” She didn’t mention the times no one had witnessed.

  “Are you sure you should drive?” Duncan asked.

  “Whatever happened is over. I feel fine now.”

  “There are guest rooms here.”

  “And you’re hosting a benefit.” Astrid clasped his hand. “Thanks for worrying, but don’t.”

  Paula walked to the door. “I’ll find Sarah.”

  Astrid got to her feet and turned to Duncan. “See. No dizziness. No weakness.”

  He brushed her lips with a light kiss. “I hope you’re ready to talk soon. There seems to be more going on than I can imagine.”

  He has no idea how much, she thought. She nodded. “When I know more I’ll tell you.” She held his hand and they walked down the spiral staircase. Paula and Sarah waited at the bottom.

  Duncan kissed her. “See you tomorrow.” He turned toward the dining room.

  Astrid followed Sarah and Paula outside. Lorna grabbed her arm. “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing but leave Duncan alone. He’s mine.”

  Astrid pursed her lips. “He doesn’t seem to feel that way.”

  Lorna scowled. “What he thinks doesn’t matter. We were meant to be together. When he’s mine, wrongs done in the past will be made right. Step aside and you won’t be hurt.”

  “Are you threatening me?”

  “Just telling you how it is.”

  Astrid moved past the blonde. “Time and time again you have betrayed me. Not this time.”

  “You’re crazy,” Lorna said.

  As Astrid strode up the walk she frowned. Was Lorna part of what had happened in the past? If only the memories of those trips to ancient time were more than fragments that melted under scrutiny.

  Paula waited at the gate. “This has been an interesting evening. Could you tell me what’s going on.”

  Astrid shook her head. “I’m not sure.”

  Sarah waited beside the car. “What happened to you? Paula said you fainted.”

  “We’ll leave it at that,” Astrid said. How could she explain when she didn’t understand?”

  “I’m worried about you,” Paula said.

  Astrid nodded. “So am I but I don’t know why this is happening.”

  Sarah patted her hand. “When you’re ready to talk, I’ll listen.”

 
; Astrid started the car. “I wish I could discover why Dad collected all those books on ancient history.”

  “Talk to him.”

  Astrid nodded. “I plan to.” She parked in front of Paula’s house.

  Paula left the car. “I’ll stop by the shop tomorrow. Maybe you’ll have learned some things then.”

  “See you.”

  A short time later Astrid parked behind Antiquities. She followed Sarah up the steps. “Why don’t I have a look at those books,” Sarah said. “After all, I was a history teacher.”

  “Maybe tomorrow.”

  “Definitely.” Sarah laughed. “Socializing is tiring.”

  Astrid opened the apartment door. If only she could remember more from the strange interludes. She walked to the bedroom and changed into a sleep shirt. Though she was tired she didn’t think she could sleep. This might be a good time to look at some of those letters.

  * * *

  Duncan spent the remainder of the evening socializing with the people and avoiding Lorna’s attentions. By midnight the last few guests strolled up the walk. He smiled. The evening had been successful and the opera company was assured of another season.

  Lorna grabbed his arm. “I want my bracelet now.”

  “Where did you lose it?”

  “I didn’t. You know the one I mean. The ancient gold one.”

  Duncan laughed. “You mean the anonymous gift I received.”

  “You know it’s mine.”

  Do I? How? Do you have proof of purchase?”

  She glared. The bracelet was a legacy. I want it back.”

  “How very interesting since the bracelet matches the one stolen from this house.” He looked away. He needed to learn about her background and maybe learn what had happened all those years before. He knew just the man to call. “Possession is nine tenths.”

  “You’ll be sorry.” She wheeled. “Clive, take me home.”