Space Unicorn Blues

by T. J. Berry

  Truth was, Jenny lay awake every night wondering if Kaila was all right. She woke from dreams in which Kaila was still with her and rolled over only to find that half of the bed empty and the guilt hit her all over again. But with Gary on board, she would finally be able to make good on her promise to find her wife.

  “I know you and Gary have a history, but try to keep it together until we can finish this delivery and get paid,” she replied.

  “I don’t like being back on this Bala abomination of a ship,” he said.

  She heard hoarseness creeping back into his voice, and without looking up she knew he was about to lose it. Jim cried a lot more these days. He was almost past the point of being useful as a co-pilot. Luckily for him, he was good at other things, like being an able-bodied human man who could get them through inspections and checkpoints just by being himself.

  “Stop hitting Gary. Avoid him if you want, but don’t attack him. All right?”

  “I’m not sitting next to the animal who ate my best girl.”

  “Then I guess you’re not sitting in the cockpit, because I need Gary up here with me.”

  Her own words surprised her. She didn’t really need Gary up in front, but for some reason she wanted him nearby. Some bit of conscience was wrestling to do right by him, whether she wanted to or not. She tried to squash it down deep, where her traumatic memories, like those of Copernica or the day Kaila was captured, waited for her. They always seemed to make an appearance right as she settled into her bunk for the night.

  “You can have the co-pilot spot. We’ll make Gary stand in the back,” she conceded.

  “He’ll fall right the hell over when we boost up to orbit,” mused Jim, momentarily placated.

  “Uh, Captain Perata?” came Ondre’s voice. She clicked the comm open.

  “Yep.”

  “Colonel Wenck says to set down in thirty seconds or he’ll open fire.”

  “Sure thing, I’ll get this thing down on the ground pronto.”

  Jenny clicked the mic off and returned to the intercom.

  “Now would be a good time, Gary,” she said.

  The cockpit door opened and Gary settled himself into the corner. “The cargo is loaded and tied down for takeoff,” he said.

  “Everyone strap in,” said Jenny.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?” asked Jim. “I’m the best pilot in the–”

  Jenny hit the launch thrusters and Jim was flattened against the back of his chair with a grunt. Gary leaned against the back wall.

  “Go to hell, Jen,” Jim said when he caught his breath. She turned her head so he wouldn’t see her smile.

  The ship calculated velocity and trajectory with almost no input from Jenny. Stoneships didn’t have built-in artificial intelligence like Reason ships because they had something better. Real intelligence. There was something alive at the heart of this ship and it made you a little squeamish to feel its power coursing through the walls. Stoneships were one of the few places in the universe that Jenny could feel confident any more. As if the power that infused the ship was contagious.

  Not all the time, but definitely when the Jaggery was pushing itself at full power, Jenny felt a little taste of its magic. It felt like when you got antsy with cabin fever and just had to get outside. During those times, she could make little things happen. Nothing impressive like a Bala could, but maybe change the color of her nail polish from red to blue or fix a little tear in her jumpsuit just by thinking of it. She hadn’t even mentioned it to Kaila, because there was no easy way to tell your wife that you might be able to do just enough magic to be totally useless.

  The Jaggery pushed its escape velocity to the very limit of human endurance. Jenny felt the edges of her vision going white. Speed was good for escaping Reason ships, but bad for staying conscious. The ship inserted itself into orbit among the space junk. Bits of metal bounced off their rocky hull. They were on the wrong side of Earth for Beywey and had to wait through part of an orbit to get pointed in the right direction. The Arthur Phillip would be right behind them.

  “Did the Sisters give you any idea what we’re shipping?” Jenny called back to Gary.

  “Other than the fact that it’s in two large location- and time-locked boxes, they didn’t specify. They were careful to impress upon me the importance of having them arrive for the Century Summit, so my guess is that they’re a collection of historical artifacts and official documents for the meeting.”

  “It’s stupid to take on a cargo where you don’t know what you’re transporting,” grumbled Jim through gritted teeth. Jenny had to agree, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. She had to get to Fort J. If Kaila had survived harvesting until now, it would be a miracle.

  “And I still don’t see why we have to give the ship back to Gary,” continued Jim, as if Gary wasn’t sitting right behind him. “The ship’s in your name. It’s yours now. Just keep it.” He looked a little unsteady. Zero G didn’t agree with him.

  “You’re getting paid enough to buy your own brand new ship. You don’t need this one,” she snapped. That cabin fever feeling was building within her as the ship gathered energy for the next burn to Beywey Station. She shook her head to clear it and her hair lengthened by a good ten centimeters. She pulled it up and tied it into a bun on the top of her head so no one would notice. At least the bursting feeling was gone.

  Jim rubbed the bags under his eyes. “I don’t want a ship. I’m looking for a little six-cow ranch in the middle of noplace where I can settle down and get some quiet.”

  The door opened and Ricky Tang floated in. A dwarven crew member hung off each of her arms, trying in vain to slow her down.

  “Ma’am, you cannot enter the cockpit.”

  “Let go, little hairy men, I want to sit in front. I’m a VIP,” she said, squirming out of the dwarves’ grip.

  “They’re not hairy men,” said Gary, as the dwarves hung back, waiting for instructions.

  “All right, whatever,” said Ricky.

  “No, not whatever. You should know better. If you do not know how to address a particular dwarf, you need to ask,” said Gary. “There are nine distinct dwarven genders, and they are more than happy to tell you their closest English approximation.”

  “Understood,” said Ricky, pushing herself closer to the viewscreen and pretending to play it off, but Jenny saw her cheeks flush pink.

  Jenny unstrapped herself from her wheelchair and floated to Ricky’s level. Zero G was the only time she got to talk to people eye to eye, unless they knelt down, which almost no one did. Ricky had changed into a flightsuit not unlike what Jenny wore, but tan instead of Reason red. She’d also put up her hair to stop it from floating around and hitting everyone in the face during weightless flight.

  “Ricky, get into the passenger area,” said Jenny. “You can take any of the unclaimed cabins in this hallway.”

  “I have a cabin already. I want to be up front where the action is,” she said. “Also I need to tell you where to drop me off.”

  “This isn’t the intra-system shuttle,” said Jenny. “You’re going where we’re going. No extra stops.”

  “Well, where are you going?” asked Ricky.

  “A quick resupply at Beywey, then on to Jaisalmer. No time for other stops.”

  Ricky looked aghast.

  “You can’t drop me at Jaisalmer – they’ll murder me there.”

  “Not my problem. Get in your cabin and don’t touch anything on the ship. It’s all infused with Bala magic and some of it is dangerous.”

  Ricky looked intrigued instead of intimidated.

  “Surely you’re open to negotiation, Jenny,” said Ricky.

  “We could probably be persuaded to let you off on Amaroq for one of those suitcases full of bottles you were dragging around,” said Jim. Jenny said nothing, resentful that he’d stepped over her in the discussion.

  “First of all,” said Ricky, “those bottles are my only way to set up shop on a new planet. And se
cond of all, wolves are incredibly light drinkers. I wouldn’t make a quarter of what I did on Earth.”

  “I’m not stopping at Amaroq, so the discussion is moot. You can get off at Beywey or Jaisalmer. Those are your options,” said Jenny.

  Ricky wrinkled her nose.

  “Beywey isn’t even fully operational. There are, like, ten people up there and none of them have money.”

  “Then I guess you’re coming to Jaisalmer,” said Jenny.

  Ricky groaned.

  “Auntie Nash told me never to let a blemmye in my bar. I break that rule one time and look where it lands me. On my way to freaking Fort J, where I am definitely going to be detained because you might remember that my paperwork is definitely not sorted out so that Miss Ricky Tang can travel across the Reason.”

  Jim scoffed and Jenny smacked the back of his head.

  “I completely understand, Ricky,” she said. “Kaila and I are in the same situation. But we’re going through Fairyfloss, which is the most lenient of the checkpoints. I have some cash for bribes, and I bet you can spare a few bottles of the drink. With Jim’s help, we’ll get through all right. As a matter of fact, if you stay on board at the Jaisalmer cargo drop, I bet Gary would be willing to bring you to Chhatrapati Shivaji after we transfer the ship to him.”

  “I would not,” said Gary from the corner.

  “Oh, thanks for chiming in, Gary. You’re being extremely helpful,” said Jenny.

  Ricky chuckled.

  “He’s not happy with any of us,” she said to Jenny.

  It dawned on Jenny that she was in charge of herding all three of these misfits for the next twenty-four hours and that if she didn’t lay down the law early, they were going to bicker all the way to Jaisalmer. She slammed her tablet down on the console hard enough that she heard the plastic case crack. The cockpit went quiet.

  “I am trying to make this trip as quickly as possible with as few problems as possible,” she said, with deliberate slowness. “None of us wants to enter Reasonspace, but that’s the only way we make this drop and head our separate ways. I don’t care where you go after or what you do on board, but until Fort J, stay out of my way.”

  Jim grumbled, but didn’t object. Gary was suddenly very interested in the Bala instruments in the corner.

  “I want a share of the delivery fee,” said Ricky. “I’m taking the same risks as the rest of you.”

  “Don’t push your luck,” said Jenny.

  “I always do,” said Ricky with a wink. “But seriously, I want in.”

  “This is not the Bitter Blossom and you are not in charge here,” warned Jenny.

  Ricky’s face lost all trace of humor.

  “Watch the way you speak to me, Perata. I know some things that would curl your hair,” she said, with a glance at Jim. He sucked his teeth and stared straight ahead at the viewscreen.

  Jenny allowed herself to float so that she was slightly higher than Ricky.

  “You want to fight?” she asked.

  Ricky took so long to answer that Jenny began to pull off the blemmye robe that still hung over her jumpsuit. It caught on the greenstone necklace she’d worn since she was a child. The open edge of the spiral koru had become tangled into the loose weave of the robe. She eased the stone out of the fabric and tucked it back into her jumpsuit.

  “No, I don’t want to fight,” said Ricky.

  “Then get in your cabin,” said Jenny.

  One of the dwarves held out a hand to guide Ricky out of the room. Ricky rolled her eyes and took hold of the thick fingers.

  “Fine. I’ll be in back,” she said.

  For a moment, the dwarves did not move. Jenny followed their eyes to Gary in the corner, staring intently at the tubes and vials displaying various ship statuses. He looked up at the sudden silence in the room. The dwarves bowed to him. He nodded in return. She kept all traces of frustration off her face. If the dwarves wanted to maintain their loyalty to Gary, that was fine, as long as they still followed her orders.

  “It’s good to have you back in charge, Captain,” said one of the dwarves. Jim tisked.

  “Thank you,” said Gary. The dwarves floated out of the cockpit with Ricky between them. A heaviness descended on the room.

  “I guess you never ate one of his wives,” muttered Jim.

  “Jim,” said Jenny sharply. He settled sullenly into his chair. She’d taken the risk of putting these two together so that they could escape the scourge planet Earth. She’d figured that she could keep them away from each other’s throats. She might have figured wrong.

  She floated over to Gary’s spot and examined the colored fluids rising and falling in the glass tubes. She had no idea what she was looking at. The last time they’d been on the Jaggery, she and Jim had rigged the ship to talk directly to an off-the-shelf Reason tablet, but it had caused failures all over the ship’s ecosystem. From the lack of birds in the hallways to the blights that took out the feed crops, Boges was still dealing with massive species die offs caused when they had connected it all up.

  “We… did some stuff,” she said to Gary.

  “I see that,” he replied.

  “It works to fly the ship, but…”

  “But you instigated a mass genocide across the entire biome.”

  An apology stuck in her throat. She knew it was warranted, but she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. Once she started saying sorry for one thing, where would it stop? At the destruction of the ship’s ecosystem, or the enslavement of its former captain, or setting him up to go to the Quag? The litany of her transgressions never seemed to end. She couldn’t face all of it at once. The past was a mountain too insurmountable to climb, but the future was a blank slate.

  She ran her finger across the bulbed end of a glass tube. The liquid inside was a sickly green, studded with white chunks. It looked, for all the world, like vomit in a jar.

  “What does this one mean?”

  “It’s the measure of overall wellbeing on the ship.”

  “Of the ship itself or the creatures on board?”

  “Is there a difference?” He stared at her. Not hostile, but not friendly either. The kind of guarded look you might give a cellmate.

  She pulled her hand back and kept her eyes on the readouts. There was an infinite patience within his eyes that made her squirm to her core – and not in the pleasant way that Kaila made her squirm. It was an “I’m waiting for you to figure out what I already know” kind of look that made her feel like a child. Gary was, after all, a hundred and two years old.

  She pushed off from the wall and went back to her much more readable tablet. It didn’t have any outlandish Bala measurements like wellbeing or overall happiness. Just normal stuff like pitch, yaw, and proximity. She held it up to Gary.

  “It works though. First of its kind. Everyone else has to hire a Bala to pilot their stoneships, but Jim and I can do it ourselves. This says we’re twenty minutes from the right trajectory for Beywey.”

  Gary tapped one of his gauges.

  “This says that the human race will face extinction within two generations.”

  Jenny swallowed the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat.

  “I don’t see how that helps you fly,” she mumbled.

  She spun in the low gravity and checked the supply cabinet under the console for spare parts. Everything they’d left was still in there. Human stoneship captains usually activated the artificial gravity as soon as they entered orbit, but Jenny floated every chance she got. In a weightless environment, she was just as fast and maneuverable as anyone else on the ship. Like she used to be.

  “I’m going to go wash up before we get to Beywey.” The sticky blemmye robe itched like the devil.

  “About that,” said Jim, leaning his elbow on the console. “What are you doing wearing elf jizz all over your face?”

  “It’s a very effective disguise,” she said. “Some of us are willing to take one for the team. Ricky and Gary had no idea who I was unt
il it all dripped off.”

  “I smelled you the moment I walked into the bar. No one else in the system uses that particular lavender soap,” said Gary.

  “It’s a family heirloom,” said Jenny, floating to the door. “Keep an eye out for the Arthur Phillip. And I’d better not come back to find any dead cowboys or unicorns in my cockpit.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Flying Vek

  Gary found himself sitting alone with Cowboy Jim, awkwardly staring at the ship’s readouts and wondering if he should also leave the cockpit.

  “How long did it take?” asked Jim. He spoke so quietly that Gary nearly didn’t hear him.

  “How long did what take?” Gary asked, but he knew what Jim meant.

  “Before she died.”

  Gary’s memory of Cheryl Ann’s death was a stone weighing down his soul. Even if he had wanted to share the details with Jim, he would not have known where to start. There had been more red human blood than he had ever seen in one place. But the story really started long before that, with kindness, and friendship, and then love. He knew Jim wanted to hear none of that. He tried to imagine what he would want to hear in Jim’s place. Perhaps the truth, softened a bit.

  “She slipped away. It didn’t look particularly painful.”

  Jim unclipped his harness and floated above Gary’s eye level.

  “That’s bullshit and you know it. I walked in and saw what you’d done. She was a goddamn pile of skin on the floor.” Jim’s face went ashen and Gary wondered if he was going to be sick. “Was she still alive when you started eating her? Did she beg you to stop? Or was she immobile by then, lying on that cold stone floor, watching while you sucked out her bones, you filthy bastard? You tricked her into thinking she loved you. You lured her close to the bars where you crushed her life away.”