For the Love of a Cowboy (Cowboy Dreamin')

by Sullivan, Sandy

  “I know. I really didn’t mean to keep it from him. When he started having pain at the house, I panicked. I let you take the blame and I’m sorry.”

  “But you haven’t corrected his misunderstanding.”

  “I will. As soon as they tell us what’s wrong and I know he won’t have a heart attack because he finally knows his precious little preacher’s girl isn’t the sweet, innocent twelve year old he remembers. I know we had the discussion about the fact that we’ve already had sex, but I don’t want to make things worse.”

  “I know he wasn’t thrilled when he found out either.”

  “He knows I didn’t come home until this morning. He figured out we spent the night together again. He’s not happy about it either.”

  “Well there is at least that much. Of course, I’m sure he blames me for that too.” He jumped to his feet. “I don’t like this, Paige. I don’t want your father to think I’m Satan’s son come to defile his precious daughter. We’re in this together. This is a relationship. How are things supposed to work if he thinks I’m corrupting you?”

  “Do you think of it as a relationship, Jacob? I thought we were just having a good time.”

  “I’m in this for more than that. What about you?”

  She climbed to her feet and faced the window as she rubbed her arms.

  “Paige?”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  He put his hands on her shoulders as she leaned back against his chest. With his lips to her ear, he whispered, “I want you to say this means more to you than casual sex.” The reflection of her face in the glass revealed her slowly closing her eyes, almost like she didn’t want to face the reality of their relationship. “I guess you really don’t need me after all.”

  “I do.”

  “No, I don’t think you do or you don’t want to face the fact of our relationship moving onto something more permanent. You care more than you want to. I know I do.” He dropped his hands to his sides so he could step back. The realization hit him like a sledge hammer to the chest. “I’m going to go now.”

  “Please stay.”

  “I think you need some time to think. I’m not doin’ anything here, but waitin’. Your daddy needs you and he doesn’t need my presence causing more harm than good.”

  “I need you, Jacob.”

  “For what exactly?”

  “Support?” A tear slipped down her cheek as her breath caught in her throat. “Don’t leave, please.”

  “All right. I’ll stay for a while.” He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his embrace. He loved touching her, holding her, but she really needed to give him some idea if his growing feelings were returned. Right now, he felt like someone had stomped on his heart before they shoved it back in his chest. He didn’t like the feeling at all.

  Chapter Ten

  Paige realized with the look on Jacob’s face she was royally screwing this up. “I’m sorry. I’ll tell him right now.” She pulled out of his arms to head for the door.

  “Wait, Paige. It’s probably not a good time. Not until they find out what’s wrong with him.”

  “But he needs to know you aren’t the devil incarnate come to drag me off to the depths of Hell.”

  “We’ll tell him eventually.”

  The same nurse stuck her head out of the door. “Ms. Tyler?”

  “Yes?”

  “The doctor wants to talk to you and your father together.”

  “I’ll be right there.” She turned to face Jacob. “Come with me. We’ll talk to him together.”

  “Honey, that’s not a good idea. Getting him worked up and upset could make things worse than they already are.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. Just come back out after you talk to the doctor. Then we’ll face him together once they get him comfortable in a room or whatever they’re gonna do.”

  “I love you.”

  Jacob’s eyes darkened to an almost black as a startled look crossed his face. “What did you say?”

  “I love you. I wanted you to know that before I talked to my father because you mean everything to me. Whatever happens won’t have anything to do with us. We are who we are and when we’re together, it’s right. That’s all we need to know.” She kissed him quickly on the lips. “I’ll be right back.”

  She disappeared behind the doors only to lean back against them once they closed to catch her breath. She certainly hadn’t expected to blurt out I love you in the middle of a hospital as they waited for news on her father’s health. Brilliant. “Oh well.” She pushed off the wooden panels to walk down the aisle to her father’s bedside. The doctor met her outside the curtained area.

  “Let’s go in, shall we?”

  “Of course.”

  The color had returned to her father’s cheeks as he rested against the pillows. He opened his eyes as she took his hand in hers. A cough raked his body for a moment until he caught his breath again. “What’s the verdict?”

  “You have pneumonia. You probably passed out earlier at home because of the lack of oxygen in your blood. Your saturations were low when you came in. Now that you’ve had some oxygen, your color is much better as are your saturations.”

  “Does he get to go home?”

  “No. We’ll need to keep him a few days for observation and medication. He needs some strong antibiotics to combat the problem. He would be much better staying here so we can watch him. Monitoring is the best thing for him right now.”

  “Wonderful, doctor. Thank you.”

  “So it wasn’t my heart?”

  “No, sir. Your heart seems pretty healthy. Overall, you seem to be in pretty good health besides the pneumonia.”

  “Thank God.”

  “He’s watching out for me. Always has, Paige.”

  “I know, Daddy.” He kissed his cheek as she pushed his thinning hair back from his forehead. He looked so much older to her than his sixty years as he laid there against the white bedding.

  “We’ll get him moved to a room within the next hour.”

  “Thank you, doctor.”

  “You’re welcome. Rest, Reverend Tyler. It’s the best thing for you. No excitement. If you have a coughing attack, your oxygen saturations drop.”

  “You got it, doctor.”

  The man disappeared behind the curtain as Paige took the chair next to her father’s bed. “They’ll have you in a room soon, I’m sure. You’ll have to rest and not get too excited.”

  “I won’t.” He patted her hand as he asked, “Did that young man go home?”

  “No. He’s in the waiting room.”

  He frowned as he pursed his lips in the way she knew meant he was about to lecture her on something.

  “You aren’t supposed to get excited so stop right there.”

  “You aren’t to see him anymore.”

  “But Dad—”

  “I’ll hear no more about it. I don’t want you associating with him.”

  “I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions.” Her father closed his eyes in dismissal, refusing to engage in the discussion again. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

  “Fine,” he said, not even opening his eyes.

  Dread crawled down her spine. She needed to talk to Jacob, but how was she supposed to turn her back on the man she loved?

  She reluctantly walked back down the aisle and through the double doors. He waited in the same spot he’d left him.

  “What’s the decision?”

  “He has pneumonia. They’ll be keeping him for a few days for treatment.”

  “I’m glad it’s not his heart.”

  “Me too. I’ve already sent up a dozen prayers for a good outcome today.” She wrapped her arms around his waist as she leaned into his chest. “They’ll be moving him to a room soon and then I can go home. There won’t be any reason for me to stay any longer.”

  He kissed her head as he pulled her in tighter. “I told you he’d be okay.”

  “Thank
you for being here.”

  “Anything for you.”

  They stood wrapped in each other’s arms for several moments while she absorbed his strength.

  “Would you like something from the cafeteria while we wait for them to get him a room?”

  “No, thank you, but you can get something else if you want.”

  “I’m fine. The coffee wasn’t bad, but I’ve had better.”

  He pushed her back a little to look into her eyes. She wasn’t sure she liked the look on his face. “About what you said before you went back there.”

  “Forget it, Jacob. I didn’t mean it like it came out.”

  “Are you sure, because I’m not sure I’m ready to say it back to you and I don’t want it to get awkward between us.”

  Her heart turned into a blob resting in her stomach. He didn’t love her in return. She should have known as much. Really, they didn’t know each other that well. She didn’t know much about him at all. “It’s fine. I meant like a friend, you know.”

  “Friends with benefits?”

  “Maybe, but I don’t want things to get weird.”

  “Okay. We’ll leave it be for now.”

  “Good.”

  The nurse poked her head out of the door. “Ms. Tyler, they are moving your father up to a room now.”

  “Thank you.” She pulled out of his arms, missing the warmth and security she felt having them around her. “I should see him up to his room.”

  “Do you want me to come back there with you?”

  “No!” She swallowed hard. “I mean, it’s okay. I’ll be back shortly. There’s no reason for you to go up there. I don’t want him upset any more than he already is.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why do I get the feeling there is more to this than you’re letting on, Paige.”

  “It’s nothing, really. He was so upset before he had a coughing fit which drops his saturations. They don’t want him excited.”

  He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans as he rocked back on his heels. “All right. I’ll wait here. After you get him settled, we should go have some dinner. It’s getting late.”

  “You don’t have to stay, Jacob. I can get home. I have my car here since I followed the ambulance to the hospital.”

  “I want to hold you tonight. Is that all right with you? I mean, I don’t want to put you out or anything.”

  She hugged him again, kissing his cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m making a big mess of this whole thing. I would love for you to stay if you want to. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for my father to see you with how upset he got earlier.”

  “Can I stay at your place?”

  She bit her lip. “I guess so.”

  He stepped back. “Don’t bother. It sounds like you don’t really want me around so I’ll go. Get your father settled and go home. You probably could use the night alone.”

  “But, Jacob…”

  “It’s fine, Paige.” He kissed her on the lips. “Take a bubble bath or something. You’ve earned it with this stress.” He turned on his heel and disappeared through the sliding glass doors.

  As she watched him walk away, she felt as if her whole world had just walked out the door.

  * * * *

  Jacob slammed his hand down on the steering wheel of his truck as he drove out of San Antonio headed for home. “Why didn’t I say it back? I mean, I care about her a lot, but in love with her?” He shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so.” I’ve never been in love before. Is this how it feels?

  The long drive back would give him time to think. Something wasn’t jiving with her keeping him from seeing her father. Yeah, he’d been upset because he thought I was the one dragging Paige to bars, but she’d told him the truth, right?

  “What if she didn’t tell him? What if she’s still keeping our real relationship a secret?”

  His head began to hurt with all the strangulated thoughts tangling up in his brain. He didn’t want to question her motives, but she sure gave him reason to when she acted so strangely. What a difference a few hours makes. Thinking about last night, reminded him of the feel of her lips under his. Her nipples were hard little knots of flesh beneath his tongue when he flicked them. Her taste was addicting. She felt like heaven wrapped around his dick. Her pussy milked him dry when she’d come apart in his arms with a cry of his name, which he loved to hear on her lips.

  His cock pressed against the fly of his jeans, making it uncomfortable to sit.

  Before he realized, he’d pulled up to the gates of Thunder Ridge. Home.

  Maybe he’d talk to his mom about Paige. She might be able to give him some insight to women. Yeah, couldn’t hurt to try.

  The main lodge house came into view with its three big dormer windows in the front, long porch with the rocking chairs waiting for guests to enjoy the sunset or sunrise from the wide expanse and the donkeys hanging around waiting for handouts or petting. He smiled. This place really was home to him.

  He parked around back by his trailer and stepped out. His mom would be in her office for another few minutes tonight even though dinner had already been served to the guests. The smell of dinner still lingered in the air. He’d have to raid the kitchen later.

  “Ma?”

  “In the back, Jacob.”

  He found her right where he thought he would. “Can I talk to you?”

  “Sure, baby. What’s up?” she asked, turning to face him.

  He grabbed a chair and spun it around to sit down. “It’s about Paige.”

  “Go on.”

  “Her father has pneumonia, by the way. Sorry I didn’t call from the hospital, but we kinda had a little spat so I came home.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. I hope he’s feeling better soon.”

  “I’m sure he will. They’re keeping him a couple of days at the hospital for treatment.”

  “Good. That’s the best place for him.” She patted his hand. “What did you two fight over?”

  “Well, apparently her father thinks I’m the reason she’s been going to bars, which isn’t true. We met at The Dusty Boot, but she’d been comin’ there off and on for several weeks. I vaguely remember seein’ her there before she saved my ass.”

  “She didn’t correct his misguided notion?”

  “No.”

  “Hmm.”

  “I thought maybe you could give me some insight to how women think.”

  She laughed as she leaned back in her office chair. He didn’t think the subject was that funny, but apparently she did as she rolled with laughter. “I truly wish I could help you, honey, but I don’t know what to tell you.”

  “I wish I knew what was going through her mind.” He sighed as he thought about how much he wanted a drink right now. “She told me she loved me at the hospital.”

  “How fantastic! Another daughter-in-law.”

  “Don’t rush things, Ma. I didn’t say it back.”

  “Do you love her?”

  “I’m not sure. That’s why I wanted to talk to you.”

  “What do you think?”

  “I think about her all the time.” He leaned forward in the chair, dangling his hands between his legs. “I want her with me every waking moment of every day. I haven’t really looked at another woman without thinking about Paige and wondering how she compares. She doesn’t. She beats any woman I looked at, hands down. Being with her makes me happy beyond my wildest dreams.”

  “Sounds like love to me.”

  “Really? Because I’m not so sure.”

  “Why don’t you think you’re in love with her?”

  “Because I’ve never been in love before. I don’t know if this is how it feels or not.”

  She put her hand on his cheek. “Honey, if you can’t imagine the rest of your life without her in it, it’s love.”

  “Then I guess I’m in love with her.”

  “I bet she’d love to hear you say it in person.”

  “Should
I drive back to town to tell her? She probably needs tonight to herself. It’s been a hard day with her dad.”

  “I’m sure a night alone would probably do her good, besides, she’s not going anywhere.”

  “Thanks, Mom. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Jacob. I’ll be happy to have another daughter to love on.” She brought him to his feet and hugged him. “Grandkids. I want more grandkids. You aren’t gettin’ any younger, mister.”

  “I know, Mom. Trust me. I know.” He kissed her cheek. “I’ll be sure to bring her home for the whole family to get to know better soon.”

  “You do that.”

  He walked out into the main lodge room as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket. Should be call her? No, he didn’t want to say I love you on the phone. He wanted to do it all special like with flowers, maybe a bubble bath for two. He snapped his fingers. He’d rent a luxury hotel room in town, wine and dine her before he told her he loved her. Women loved that kind of thing.

  Would Paige like livin’ on the ranch?

  Was he really thinking along permanent relationship lines with her? Yeah, I guess I am. He could see his life with her, raising babies in their own little house way back off the beaten path of the rest of the ranch. His own little piece of Heaven. She’d sit on the porch, her belly round with their child and rock the other small one in her arms until they fell asleep. They’d have lots of babies. Maybe enough for a baseball team like his parents. Nine of them.

  He grinned. Of course, he’d have to convince her of that, but he was sure he could.

  * * * *

  Paige tucked the sheets around her father as he got comfortable in the regular room.

  “This is much better than the gurney they had me on.”

  “I’m sure it is.”

  “Not as good as my bed at home though.”

  “Stop complaining. You’ll be fine here for a couple of days.”

  “Are you sure you’ll be all right at home without me there?”

  “I’m going on thirty years old soon. I think I can handle a couple of days alone. Besides, I have to work the next two days.”