Promises of Home

by Jeff Abbott

  “Why are you back, Trey? I thought you were never going to come back to Mirabeau.”

  “God, Jordy, ain’t it obvious?” He gestured at his legs, at the cold chrome of the chair. “I got hurt. Bull messed me up good. I can’t ride no more. Can’t walk.”

  I knew I should commiserate with him. I knew it, but I couldn’t. He’d done his share of hurting the Poteets and I wasn’t in a forgiving frame of mind.

  “Are you moving back? With those two?” I pointed to the library. Through the glass I could see Nola Kinnard anxiously watching us. She saw me see her and she moved away. “Who are they supposed to be, Trey? Sister and Mark’s stunt doubles? Or just another passing fancy?”

  “I know you’re mad at me. Why don’t you just punch me out and be done with it, Jordy?” Trey said through gritted teeth.

  “I’m not going to hit you.” I didn’t eliminate shoving the chair into traffic, though. I rested my face in my hands, my fingers sore from clenching. I’d never felt such acrid, burning anger. I wanted to slap the cigarette out of his mouth. God, this couldn’t be happening. I looked up at him; he looked miserable. “I take it you have not seen your ex-wife and son?”

  “We only struck town yesterday morning.”

  “So Arlene doesn’t even know you’re here?” My voice rose.

  “No, she don’t. I thought I’d call her later today—”

  “Call her? You’ll do no such thing!” I grabbed the chair and stuck my face close to his. “You have made her suffer enough, Trey. You aren’t going to hurt her or Mark anymore.”

  “I don’t want to hurt Arlene—”

  “You don’t? How do you think she and Mark are going to feel when they see you gallivanting around town with your shiny new family? Did that ever occur to you?”

  His hands clenched over my wrists. “What are you doing back in town, anyway? You get fired from your highfalutin job up North?”

  “No!” I snapped back. “I came back here because my mother’s dying of Alzheimer’s.” His face crumpled; he’d always liked Mama. That didn’t earn any mercy from me. “Of course, you couldn’t know that since you haven’t bothered to stay in touch. Since you abandoned my sister, you asshole, she needed my help.” I took a long, calming breath. “There’s this thing called family, Trey. It matters. You make sacrifices because your family needs you. Because you love them. I know that’s a foreign concept to you, but—”

  “I don’t need a lecture from you!” he yelled. “I don’t need you judging me! Look at me! Don’t you think I’ve paid enough for my mistakes?” His voice cracked.

  I stepped back. “Is that your ploy? Is that what you’re planning to use on my sister and my nephew? Oh, let’s feel bad for Trey—he got hurt off playing cowboy. Well, I felt sorry for you long before you ever got stomped by a bull. You had the best woman and the best boy in the world, and you gave them up for a bunch of dumb animals. I hope it was worth it, you moron.”

  “Are you done?” Trey asked, his voice cutting cold like the wind.

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Fine. I’m glad you’ve gotten your usual tantrum out of your system, Jordan.” He lowered his voice. “You don’t know the facts. I may have left Arlene, but I never abandoned her. I sent her money every month for Mark—”

  “Don’t lie!” I shouted, but he ignored me.

  “—and I left town for my own reasons, which, contrary to what you think, had nothing to do with Arlene and Mark.”

  “I don’t care. Just keep your distance. Better yet, why don’t you leave town again?”

  “Because Nola’s got family here. Her uncle’s Dwight Kinnard. He used to work with my daddy, and he’s offered to put us up for a while.”

  “I can believe you were stupid enough to leave Arlene. I can’t believe you’re rotten enough to come back. Steer clear of my family, Trey.” I couldn’t resist twisting the knife. “You know, she did get over you. She’s dating Junebug now, and he’s our police chief. Maybe they’ll even get married. She’s got a real man this time.”

  He looked away quickly, but not before I saw the pain in his eyes. He didn’t offer a reply, so I turned and went back into the library. I felt vaguely ill. Letting him have it hadn’t made me feel better.

  Nola and Scott stood by the front counter, watching us. Scott held a stack of books, clutching them protectively to his chest. Gretchen hovered between the Kinnards and the checkout counter.

  Nola grabbed my arm with a strong hand. “What did you say to him, you asshole? How can you be cruel to a man who’s suffered like he has?”

  “Cruel, lady?” I pulled my arm free. “That man invented the word. But maybe he’ll treat you and your boy better than he did my sister and her child. I hope so.” Nola gave me a hard stare and shoved the door open. Scott, glaring at me, suddenly threw his stack of novels at me; they scattered at my feet.

  “You can’t say anything bad about Trey!” Scott yelled. “He’s a good man, better than you are!” That boy believed in Trey; desperation tinged his words. The anger seeped out of me.

  “I’d have given anything if he was better than me, son,” I said. “It would have saved folks I love a lot of grief.”

  Nola pulled Scott out the door, ignoring his tossed books. I watched her bend over Trey, hugging him, while Scott grasped the handles of the chair and maneuvered it to a decrepit blue Ford Escort. They loaded Trey in, Nola lifting his legs for him and tucking them in the car. I turned away and stalked back to my office, ignoring the character voices that Miss Ludey provided for the children. There’d been a momentary pause in the narrative when Scott had screamed at me, but Miss Ludey was, if anything, a trooper.

  “Jordy, are you okay? Do you need—” Gretchen tried.

  “No. Just leave me alone.” I slammed my office door behind me and spent the next hour staring at my desk, “Candace is going to drive me to drink,” Sister announced. She had come home around four and flopped down on the couch, her Sit-a-Spell T-shirt begrimed with sweat. “I got to go back there in a minute and do up the dinner fixings. The short-order cook Candace hired from that greasy spoon in Bavary don’t know his butt from a hole in the ground.”

  I’m sure she’d anticipated a few quiet minutes at home. She seemed surprised to see me, but Gretchen had offered to cover for me. I’d never left Gretchen in charge of the library before, and I might be lucky if she didn’t frame me for stealing the coffee money while I was gone, but I couldn’t worry about her. Not with this terrible errand on my mind.

  God, this was going to be hard. I sat down next to her, slipped her sneakers and socks off, and began to give her one of my patented foot rubs. (The secret is rubbing deep between the toes.)

  “Gee, what brotherly concern,” Sister teased. “Oh, that does feel good. You must want me to keep Candace busy while you tomcat around town.”

  “Not hardly,” I said, leaning back against the couch. I’d already checked—Mark was upstairs, studying geography. No time like the present.

  “What’s Mama doing?” Sister demanded.

  “Taking a nap.”

  “I hope she’s not up again all night. I don’t need her bayin’ at the moon on top of everything else.” Sister pushed her other foot into my lap. “Don’t rub just one, Jordy, I got to use both of them dogs all day.”

  I kneaded the bottoms of Sister’s foot, examining her sole intently. “I got some news, upsetting news. But you got to know, and you got to decide how to tell Mark.” I stopped rubbing and looked at Sister. “Trey is back in town. He came into the library today.”

  Dead silence. Sister pulled her foot from my ministering hands. Her face looked carved—not a muscle moved. She finally pursed her lips and swallowed. Her mouth crinkled like she’d downed a dollop of poison. “That’s not funny, Jordan.”

  “It’s not meant to be, Arlene.”

  With my invocation of her first name, she knew it was true. She bit her lip, as though clamping down on words she didn’t want escaping.

 
“He got hurt in the rodeo. He’s in a wheelchair now.”

  “Dad—Dad is here? And in a wheelchair?”

  I froze. Mark stood halfway down the stairs; he must’ve been on his way down for a snack. I glanced at Sister; she wasn’t looking at me. I’d figured she’d tell Mark, not me. But there was no backing out now.

  Having just seen his father, I was newly shocked at the resemblance between Trey and Mark. Where Sister and I are fair, Mark’s got his father’s jet-black hair and dark complexion. There was much of Trey in his face: the set of bones that made him look cagey and clever, the insouciant walk Trey had at Mark’s age, the tough hands with stubby fingers. Today he was resplendent in his latest fashion statement: a faded R.E.M. T-shirt I’d bought in Boston, black jeans, and red Converse sneakers. (Mark had recently renounced cowboy-style clothing; Sister prayed this was a temporary phase.) At least today he wasn’t wearing a baseball cap backward, a trend that for some reason irritates me. He came down the rest of the stairs and stood before us. He stared at his mother, and she stared back at him. Finally she turned to me.

  “What did he say?” Sister found her voice. She’d pulled her feet up under her, and her posture reminded me unpleasantly of a fetal position.

  I tried to choose my next words carefully: “We didn’t talk for long. I was more interested in telling him off. I’d been waiting six long years to do that.”

  Sister and Mark were silent, then Mark said, “You said he was hurt?”

  “He got injured bull-riding. He doesn’t look good; he can’t walk, but I don’t know if his condition’s permanent. I assume he’s come home to recuperate.” I paused. Now for the worst part. “He has a woman and a boy with him. She’s got family here, but the boy mentioned they’d teen living in Beaumont. She looks like the type of woman who might work at the rodeo—sort of sturdy and weathered. Her name is Nola Kinnard. Her boy’s name is Scott. He’s about Mark’s age.”

  Sister was unconcerned with Trey’s accessories. I saw the effort she made to keep her voice calm. “Well, what did you say to him? What did he say to you?”

  “I spoke my mind. I told him to stay away from you and Mark—”

  “Why? Why would you say that?” Mark demanded. The anger in his voice, in his stance, reminded me of Seott Kinnard defending Trey in the library. His hands curled into fists. “If I wanna see him, I will! That’s not your choice!”

  “Mark! Go upstairs!” Sister said in a flat tone.

  “No! Where’s he staying? How bad is he hurt? I want to know, Mom, I should know.” His voice softened. “Maybe he’s come home so he can see us. I want to see him.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, sweetie pie. You should really let Mom handle this, okay? You go upstairs. I need to talk with Uncle Jordy alone.”

  “This isn’t fair!” Mark shouted, He sought an alternative to dismissal. “Can I go over to Terry’s house?”

  “No, you cannot. You are too upset. Please, Mark, just go upstairs and we’ll talk in a minute.” Sister’s voice did not brook further discussion. Mark made a frustrated grunt and ran up the stairs, stomping against them as hard as he could, and slamming his door for extra effect.

  “Goddamn Trey,” Sister said softly. She covered her face and began to cry. “Why did he have to come back? Why couldn’t he just have stayed away, like a dead man does?” Her sobbing broke entirely free then, and she leaned hard against my shoulder, and I cradled her while she wept, my hand nestled in the thick blonde hair above her neck.

  I don’t know how long she cried; finally she pulled herself up, said nothing more to me, and went upstairs to talk to her son.

  I called Candace and told her Sister wasn’t going to return to help with dinner. There wasn’t much of an evening rush (probably because of the cafe’s failure to offer a global menu) and when I told Candace the latest family trauma, she forgot about the intricacies of restaurant management and fretted about Sister and Mark’s well-being. I assured her Sister would be okay. Sister has her faults, but she is a titanium magnolia, made of sterner stuff than most folks. Mark was a tough, smart kid—surely he’d be okay. But I still ached for them both.

  “What about you, sugar? Are you all right?” Candace asked.

  “I have never wanted to hurt someone the way I wanted to hurt Trey. I wanted to beat the son of a bitch to a pulp. I didn’t know I had that in me.”

  I could see Candace raise an eyebrow. “Pummeling Trey wouldn’t have made you feel better. Just the opposite.”

  “I just want him far away from Sister and Mark. He’s hurt them enough.”

  “He’s hurt you, too, Jordy. Arlene told me once how close you and Trey used to be. She said y’all were like brothers.”

  I closed my eyes. “That’s ridiculous. I don’t care about any stupid friendship I had with Trey. He betrayed our whole family.” I paused. “It’s a bad joke, isn’t it? Be Trey. Betray. God, I think I’m losing it. This is killing Sister.”

  “Well, he better not show up around here. I’ll chop his balls off and serve ’em up in the chili.”

  I managed to laugh. “That’s one idea.” She said if Sister and Mark felt up to it that the three of us should come by the cafe and eat dinner. I told her I’d let her know.

  When I hung up, I kept my hand on the receiver. Should I call my old group of friends and let them know Trey was back in town? Maybe if they kept him busy he’d stay away from Sister and Mark. Clevey, Ed, and Davis might appreciate knowing that Trey was home. Maybe they’d pay him a visit and talk him out of remaining in town. Or quite possibly they could join me in a lynching. At least they should know he was back. And certainly Junebug would be interested in knowing that Sister’s ex had returned; if Sister ever needed Junebug, it’d be now.

  The phone rang under my fingers. “Jordy. This is Junebug.” His voice sounded grim.

  “Hey, Junebug. I have a question for you. Is tarring and feathering officially illegal or just frowned upon?”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  I told him quickly about Trey’s reappearance. “God almighty,” he finally said.

  “So, if I want to run him out of town on the rails, what are my legal options? Tying him into a saddle and then giving the horse a whack to make him run a fair distance couldn’t get me in trouble, could it?”

  “Jordy, stop it,” Junebug said. “I’m calling with some real bad news. Real bad. You better sit down. I couldn’t call earlier ’cause his mama was in Houston today and I couldn’t call you and the others till we notified next of kin.”

  “What? Who?”

  “You know that emergency I got called out to this morning on Old River Road? Well, it was Clevey Shivers. Someone shot him dead,”

  SMALL TOWNS HAVE A RITUAL FOR DEATH. People gather, as though drawn by a lingering spirit of the departed. The relative closest to the deceased finds his or herself drafted into the dual roles of mourner and host. For some reason, large amounts of food are required, although no one seems to have much of an appetite. I’ve noticed that the men congregate on the porches no matter the weather, while the women claim the homey territories of kitchen and living room. Children are banished to the upstairs or the yard, as if grieving didn’t become them. My memories of mourning carry the smell of fresh-fried chicken, the taste of a green-bean-and-mushroom-soup casserole, the odor of old-lady lavender water and talcum powder, and the rough feel of my grandmother’s porch swing as it creaked a slow and solemn dirge.

  All of this activity is much, much easier if the death is expected.

  Shortly after Junebug’s phone call, I found myself driving out to Mrs. Truda Shivers’s house, down by the river on Bavary Road. I hadn’t eaten dinner; I didn’t have much appetite. I felt terrible about leaving Mark and Sister behind, but they obviously did not want to go and I sensed they wanted time to themselves.

  The air felt heavy, as though rain were just a breath away. Distant thunder sounded from the east, and I could see a dark line of clouds,
swollen with grayness, on the horizon. We’d have a downpour before morning, I guessed.

  Several cars were already parked in Truda’s crushedgravel driveway when I arrived Junebug’s police cruiser was not among them. He was busy starting the investigation into Clevey’s death.

  I stopped the engine and took a deep breath, steeling myself. Clevey, one of my oldest friends, was dead. I waited for the sting of tears, but none came—and that made me feel more miserable. I shut my eyes and a torrent of memories came forward: Clevey and I wrestling in mud and getting spanked by our mothers because we were in our Sunday best; Clevey and I, as young boys, going through confirmation classes at little St. Michael’s Episcopal Church in Bavary (the Shiveises were one of the few other Anglican families in Mirabeau); Clevey’s terrified face, staring into the storm’s darkness the night Hurricane Althea nearly killed us all; the pit my stomach fell into when, at fifteen, Clevey told me he was madly in love with Gina Fontenelle and I’d been French-kissing her the night before at a party he’d skipped.

  But those were all distant memories. I’d had only sporadic contact with Clevey since I’d moved home. He’d been polite when we’d seen each other, but he’d acted nearly as if he had a bad cold he didn’t want to pass on. I’d seen him twice in the past week—once, stewed to the gills at the Bierhaus Brewpub in Bavary. I’d hardly spoken to him; he was drinking alone and didn’t seem overly pleased when Junebug and I’d joined him. I’d seen him again only yesterday morning when he’d stopped by the Sit-a-Spell to give Sister and Candace a thorough teasing about my eating too many free meals there. It had been the closest to the Clevey of old that I’d seen in years.

  A bullet—probably from a .38—had smashed directly through his right eye, destroying brain and thought and reason. I felt sick. And there was no gun lying near Clevey’s body. Murder. Clevey was a registered owner of a .38, but the gun was missing from his house. Junebug told me it was likely the killer had used Clevey’s own weapon against him.

  I forced myself out of the car. The promised norther had come, and I pulled my denim jacket closer around me. I steadied my grip on a peach cobbler Sister had baked earlier at the cafe and that Candace’d given me to take to Mrs. Shivers. I walked up to the front porch, where, despite the cooling evening temperature and the occasional gust of wind, the men had gathered, true to form.