Pillow Chase
Page 20
“Grandfather pushed everyone away. He felt like he’d failed because he wasn’t perfect, and he blamed himself for everything that happened. By assuming all that responsibility, he never gave anyone a chance to be there to support him.” She didn’t open her eyes, just inhaled a sound like a sigh. “But he had a whole family that loved him. To this day, my mother sticks by him, but it doesn’t matter how much she tries to love him if he doesn’t let himself be loved.”
“I hear another epiphany in there.”
She laughed softly. “As a matter of fact, I think I’ve been doing the very same thing. Pushing the people who love me away because I’m so worried about being perfect.”
“But you are perfect, Miranda.”
She opened her eyes and looked at him, her expression melting. “I know you believe that, Troy, but it doesn’t matter how perfect you think I am if I don’t let myself believe it, too.”
“And you haven’t been.” Not a question.
“No.”
“Why?”
“I’ve been asking myself the same thing, and I think I’ve been living a self-fulfilling prophecy—expecting myself to be perfect and then feeling bad when I’m not. It’s so stupid—”
“How can you say it’s stupid?” Troy propelled himself away from the pool’s edge and slogged through the mud to sit beside her. “You belong to a founding family in this town. You’ve got a legacy to live up to, and even the senator admitted that his family’s expectations have always been high. Add that to the political involvement…” He exhaled heavily. “My point is your family situation has to be dealt with. Your aunt washed her hands of the whole thing. Victoria was on her way down that road, too. You and your mother have been toeing the line. That’s a lot of pressure.”
He slipped his arm around her, and she leaned her head against his shoulder, the only part of him not submerged in mud.
Burying his face in her hair, Troy savored the feel of her pressed against him. “We’ll figure this out, Miranda. There are things I can do to remind you how perfect you are for me, just like there are things you can do to accept the reminders. It takes two of us. That’s what marriage is all about.”
“You’re right.” She nestled closer and pressed a kiss to his throat. “I need to tell you something.”
And he knew they’d taken another important step when she shared everything that had been happening with his teammates’ wives back home and her retreat from the problem.
Leaning back against the pool edge with her against him, he ran his hands down her arms and enjoyed the unfamiliar friction of the velvety mud against her skin.
“I want you to know that I understand why you didn’t say anything about all this.” He needed her to accept that she wasn’t solely responsible, to know she wouldn’t be alone again. “I’ve been having a few epiphanies myself lately, and I realized how I totally ignore what goes on while I’m away. I read what you post on the Web site and hear what you tell me on the phone, but it’s not as if I’ve been participating. I leave you to handle everything and then bring me up to speed.”
Tipping her face back, she stared up at him, frowning as though trying to comprehend what he’d said. “Troy, this isn’t about anything you did. This is about me and the way I’ve chosen to handle things.”
“If I was more involved, you might have felt more inclined to share.”
“But you shouldn’t have to worry about this trivial stuff while you’re away. You’ve got a lot more important things to deal with while you’re working.”
“Our life together isn’t trivial, Miranda.” And he was appalled that she’d interpreted his lack of participation that way. “It’s important to me.”
She reached up to touch him, frowned at her mud-covered hand then pressed a kiss to his lips instead. “Shh. I know it is. That’s not what I meant. I’m talking about the day-to-day things that come up. Remember my car and the telegram? You got dragged in from the desert for a decision I could have easily made myself. Once I understood that, I stopped bothering you—”
“Whoa, whoa, wait a second.” He reached for her, slipping his muddy hands over her shoulders and forcing her to sit up and face him. He was missing something here, and he instinctively knew it was important. “What are you talking about? What about your car and the telegram?”
She exhaled a sigh of exasperation. “Remember when I sent you that telegram because I needed to trade in my car?”
He nodded.
“You told me to deal with the situation. You said that you trusted me to make those kinds of decisions, and I didn’t need to bother you with them.”
Bother him? Her tone implied that he’d been pretty definite on the matter, and he dragged his memory for some recollection of what he’d said and how he might have said it.
Then he remembered the conga line of people who’d handled her telegram before it had finally reached him. Even the chaplain had read it to decide whether it qualified as an emergency. By the time he’d gotten Miranda on the phone, he hadn’t been thrilled at being dragged out of a cave where he’d been on a recon mission to have her telegram delivered.
“Miranda, sending the telegram was never a problem. If I sounded annoyed, it wasn’t because I was annoyed with you. The guys had to track me down in the desert. They’d all read it and were ragging on me. They didn’t stop for weeks.”
“I never meant to embarrass you,” she said softly.
He gave an exasperated laugh. “You didn’t. Suffice to say we get bored. Asking me if I’d called home to check on my wife a million times a day seemed funnier than it would have been otherwise.”
He reached for her hands, slipped his fingers through hers and gave a squeeze. “Half of them were jealous because I have a gorgeous wife who sends me telegrams. I had no idea you’d take my reaction to heart, and I’m sorry. There’s nothing about our life that I find trivial so I’m going to repeat what I said the other day and you have to believe it. I can’t stop living when I’m away. I don’t want to.”
“Oh, so that’s what that was all about?”
He nodded and pulled her close, their muddy bodies fitting together in a surprisingly sexy, gooey sort of way. “Let’s agree that we’ll both put forth some effort to communicate better while I’m away, Mrs. Knight.”
“Agreed, Lieutenant Commander.”
Then he held her, enjoying the companionable silence, the sluggish bubbling of the mud bath, the whisper of her breathing close to his ear.
He’d had no idea Miranda would take his reaction to her telegram so seriously, which warned him about reacting carelessly. Had he been thinking about his wife and not himself, he could have guessed that she would have responded by assuming more responsibility. But he hadn’t been. He’d been letting her assume so much of the responsibility she’d been drowning in it.
There was a lesson here. He was half of a couple and he needed to start thinking like he was. It wouldn’t be the easiest thing to do since he and Miranda spent so much time apart. Getting Miranda to not overload her plate wouldn’t be easy, either, but if they were aware of the pitfalls, they could stay on top of them.
And that was when Troy realized he had a few things to fess up about, too.
“By the way, my mom thinks you’re facing some jealousy with those women back home,” he said in an offhand tone, then held his breath and waited for the fallout.
Sure enough, Miranda pulled out of his arms and frowned so hard he hoped he had enough leverage to work his way out of this one. “Your mom? How would she know about any of this?”
“I called her. Since my wife hadn’t filled me in on what was going on in her life, I was trying to figure it out for myself. I needed some help.”
Now she was scowling. “Your mom, Troy? Why your mom?”
“I pieced together enough to get an idea of where I should start looking, but I needed someone to do a little nosing around. She’s lived on more bases than I can count since she and Dad got married. She has connecti
ons all over the place.”
“You asked your mother to use her connections to nose around?”
Troy was glad he’d decided to keep his revelations about colluding with Laura to himself for the time being. “I got the idea from your sister and Laura. Seemed like the thing to do at the time, since I’d already spent two weeks in the most romantic getaway trying to seduce you into telling me what was wrong.”
He paused, pulling her back against him forcibly and hung on when she tried to get away.
“After you sprang Tease and Torture on me, I decided I’d better take action.” Capturing her gaze, he willed her to see how much he meant what he said. “I won’t take chances with you, Miranda. I love you too much.”
Troy knew he’d played his card at exactly the right time, because her eyes grew misty and her expression softened. She stopped resisting.
“Oh, Troy.” With a laugh, she rested her head on his shoulder. “What makes your mother think the witchy wives are jealous?”
“The witchy wives?” He chuckled. “My mother knows you, and she says you wow people. Some women might feel threatened by that. Now, don’t get me wrong, I happen to love this about you. In fact, it challenged me when we first met. I wanted to make you react.”
She gave him a smile that told him she knew he was fast-talking to take the edge from his words. “Victoria said basically the same thing. She said it’s been a nightmare trying to keep up with Mother and me, and I never had the slightest idea she felt that way.”
“Did that prompt an epiphany?”
She nodded.
“I can see it.” And he could. She was a tough act for anyone to follow, or compete with, as he suspected was the case with the witchy wives.
“You know, one thing I have figured out after talking to my grandfather is that I don’t want to find myself in another situation where I’m on the outside looking in. I’ve never done this before and I haven’t been very successful dealing with it. I have to learn how to let myself be included. If I don’t share how I feel, there’s no way anyone can know. It’s my responsibility.”
“You can start practicing on me. You can let your hair down and share whatever’s on your mind and trust that I’ll always be crazy in love with you and still think you’re perfect.”
“I’m not perfect.”
“Oh, but you are, Mrs. Knight.” He dragged his lips down the smooth curve of her cheek, worked his way toward her mouth. “You’re perfect, for me. I need to convince you and you need to believe it.”
“That sounds like an order, Lieutenant Commander.” And when she tipped her mouth to his for a kiss, he knew everything would be okay.
“I won the bet, remember?” he whispered against her lips. “I want you to talk with my mother. She had some really solid suggestions for getting involved on base. If it helps any, she did say that wasn’t easy.”
“What kind of suggestions?”
“She mentioned a woman she knows who’s been around a long time and can hook you up with some volunteer work. She’s thinks it’ll be a great way for you to get out and get to know people.”
Sliding his hands around her hips, he dragged her onto his lap. “Mom gave her a call, and they both jumped on using your Web design skills to help out the youth club. I told her how great you are with kids. Or,” he continued, “maybe now would be a good time to start law school. We’re settled for a while. It’s a thought.”
“It is indeed.” Snaking her arms around his neck, she squirmed around on his lap, a very deliberate attempt to make certain body parts rise to the occasion.
“I’ll take that to mean you like my ideas.”
“Mmm-hmm. They’re good ideas.”
“Glad you think so because we’re done mud bathing. Let’s go. I’ve got a prize with my name all over it.”
“Is that another order?”
“It is. I’m done waiting. It’s been torture.”
Miranda bit his lower lip playfully. “You’re the one who insisted on waiting.”
“Only because you’re worth the wait.”
“Good to know. Now follow me.” Suddenly, she slid off his lap, and Troy’s pulse raced when she headed for the stairs.
“Did you forget that I’m the one in charge?” he asked.
“No, but I’m not done teasing you yet. You can have me if you can catch me.” She shot him a smile that singed his brain cells. “But we’ll have to rinse off the mud first.”
Troy gave a laugh that echoed off the tile walls. “Your wish is my command, Mrs. Knight.”
Chasing Miranda through the thick mud resembled more of a training maneuver than a mad dash to claim his prize, and she had the showerheads running full blast by the time he managed the top step.
Troy wasn’t sure what happened next, but somehow they wound up rolling around on that slick tile floor, using the pulsing showerheads to wash away stubborn mud in some very private places. Next came a sexy water war, and from there, one thing led to another…
When he finally wrestled the sprayer from Miranda and trapped her in his arms, Troy knew he was going to score big claiming his reward, and he’d gotten his wish, too—Falling Inn Bed had worked its magic on them.
Epilogue
TAKING A DEEP BREATH, Miranda eased open the dressing room door only minutes before the Naughty Nuptials denouement was scheduled to begin. The guests were already being seated in the atrium, which had been decorated more lavishly than she’d ever seen it with lush blooms imported from South American hothouses and white doves flying through the trees up to the skylights overhead.
The day had dawned sunny and clear, the perfect day for a wedding, or two, and when she peeked inside the dressing room, she couldn’t help but smile at the sight inside.
Victoria and Laura stood in front of the mirrors, outfitted to the nines in their finery, primping with makeup and hair.
“Now how do you make your hair stay shiny like that?” Victoria was asking. “Mine’s gone nuts with all this humidity.”
“Good genes,” Laura replied dryly, and Victoria burst into laughter.
Miranda watched the exchange, surprised by the easiness between cousins who’d only known each other for a matter of weeks, and surprised by the emotion suddenly riding high in her throat at the sight of her sister’s excitement.
Victoria had done exactly what she’d said she would do—she hadn’t let anyone ruin her special day.
And Miranda was proud of her for that.
She wasn’t so proud when Victoria caught sight of her in the mirror and her smile faded. “Miranda, you’re here.”
That question in her voice solidified Miranda’s decision to make the effort to get closer to her sister. Las Vegas wasn’t that far from San Diego, and with one generation of sisters making amends, she couldn’t think of a more perfect time.
“Of course I’m here. You asked me to be your matron of honor, remember?”
She didn’t get a chance to dwell on Victoria’s surprise because Laura retreated from the mirror toward a side door.
“Don’t go, Laura.” A lifetime of history melted away on a newfound sense of purpose. “I need you both to come with me for a second.”
Victoria frowned. “Where?”
“Our grooms can’t see us, or it’ll be bad luck,” Laura said.
“Troy has your grooms locked up in the waiting area. They’ll have to get past him to get to you, and I promise you my husband’s well trained in armed combat. So don’t worry.”
She motioned them through the door. Both her brides looked puzzled, but the instant Laura saw her coworkers lined up like an honor guard blocking the doorways along the hallway, she said, “Uh-oh.”
“Come on.” The general manager flagged them to get moving. “Hurry or you’ll miss it.”
Miranda nodded, then looped her arms through each of the brides’ and led them down the hallway. The maintenance supervisor brought a finger to his lips as they approached the entrance to the Wedding Wing, and Miranda
forgot to breathe when they all peeked inside the lobby to watch some very special guests arrive.
Aunt Suzanne already stood inside, dressed in a lovely blue gown that complemented her creamy skin and shiny dark hair. She looked as breathless and nervous as Miranda felt.
The moment seemed to slow to a crawl when her mother and grandfather appeared, arms linked as they walked down the hallway from the main hotel. The sales director was with them, but she led them into the lobby, then retreated discreetly, slipping into the service corridor.
They stood there watching unobserved as her mother escorted her grandfather across the lobby to where Aunt Suzanne waited, and when they passed The Falling Woman, her grandfather stopped and looked up at it. Miranda’s throat burned as she watched him lean heavily on his cane. The weight of so many lonely years and such hard truths were a visible burden, but she believed that with his daughters in his life again and the truth on the table, that they’d all start to heal.
Aunt Suzanne went to join them, and Miranda could see the glint of tears in her eyes as she rose on tiptoes to kiss her father’s cheek. Then he took her hand, and together they proceeded toward the atrium. A family again.
Miranda didn’t have the chance to urge her brides back down the hall so they wouldn’t be late for their own weddings. No sooner had their mothers disappeared inside the atrium then Victoria flung her arms around Miranda’s neck. “You did it!”
“We did it.” She hugged her sister back.
It was a good start.
And when Victoria finally let her go, Miranda extended her hand to Laura. “We’ll let the past stay in the past?”
Laura took her hand. “Where it belongs. Thanks for all your help.”
And that was it. The past was over, leaving the way cleared to the future.
Then she led them back down the hallway in time to take her place in the foyer for the walk down the aisle. The general manager cued her to wait as Laura’s maid of honor made her entrance before Laura and her father. Then Miranda began her walk, leading the way for her teary-eyed sister.
Her sister wasn’t the only one with teary eyes today, either. Miranda noticed her mother’s moist gaze as she stood beside her father and sister.