Adventure of the Christmas Pudding and other stories

by Agatha Christie

Hercule Poirot nodded thoughtfully.

  The Scotsman looked at him keenly.

  'What exactly have you got in your mind, M. Poirot?' he asked bluntly. 'I've answered your questions - as was my duty seeing the credentials you brought. But I'm in the dark as to what it's all about.'

  Poirot said slowly:

  'A simple case of accidental death, that's what you said. What I have in mind is equally simple - a simple push.'

  Dr MacAndrew looked startled.

  'In other words, murder! Have you any grounds for that belief?'

  'No,' said Poirot. 'It is a mere supposition.'

  'There must be something -' persisted the other.

  Poirot did not speak.

  MacAndrew said: 'If it's the nephew, Lorrimer, you suspect, I don't mind telling you here and now that you are barking up the wrong tree. Lorrimer was playing bridge in Wimbledon from eight-thirty till midnight. That came out at the inquest.'

  Poirot murmured:

  'And presumably it was verified. The police are careful.'

  The doctor said:

  'Perhaps you know something against him?'

  'I didn't know that there was such a person until you mentioned him.'

  'Then you suspect somebody else?'

  'No, no. It is not that at all. It's a case of the routine habits of the human animal. That is very important. And the dead M. Gascoigne does not fit in. It is all wrong, you see.'

  'I really don't understand.'

  Hercule Poirot murmured:

  'The trouble is, there is too much sauce over the bad fish.'

  'My dear sir?'

  Hercule Poirot smiled.

  'You will be having me locked up as a lunatic soon, Monsieur le Docteur. But I am not really a mental case - just a man who has a liking for order and method and who is worried when he comes across a fact that does not fit in. I must ask you to forgive me for having given you so much trouble.'

  He rose and the doctor rose also.

  'You know,' said MacAndrew, 'honestly, I can't see anything the least bit suspicious about the death of Henry Gascoigne. I say he fell - you say somebody pushed him. It's all - well - in the air.'

  Hercule Poirot sighed.

  'Yes,' he said. 'It is workmanlike. Somebody has made the good job of it!'

  'You still think -'

  The little man spread out his hands.

  "I'm an obstinate man - a man with a little idea - and nothing to support it! By the way, did Henry Gascoigne have false teeth?'

  'No, his own teeth were in excellent preservation. Very creditable indeed at his age.'

  'He looked after them well - they were white and well brushed?'

  'Yes, I noticed them particularly. Teeth tend to grow a little yellow as one grows older, but they were in good condition.'

  'Not discoloured in any way?'

  'No. I don't think he was a smoker if that is what you mean.'

  'I did not mean that precisely - it was just a long shot - which probably will not come off! Goodbye, Dr MacAndrew, and thank you for your kindness.'

  He shook the doctor's hand and departed.

  'And now,' he said, 'for the long shot.'

  At the Gallant Endeavour, he sat down at the same table which he had shared with Bonnington. The girl who served him was not Molly. Molly, the girl told him, was away on a holiday.

  It was only just seven and Hercule Poirot found no difficulty in entering into conversation with the girl on the subject of old Mr Gascoigne.

  'Yes,' she said. 'He'd been here for years and years. But none of us girls ever knew his name. We saw about the inquest in the paper, and there was a picture of him. "There," I said to Molly. "If that isn't our 'Old Father Time'" as we used to call him.'

  'He dined here on the evening of his death, did he not?'

  'That's right, Thursday, the third. He was always here on a Thursday. Tuesdays and Thursdays punctual as a clock.'

  'You don't remember, I suppose, what he had for dinner?'

  'Now let me see, it was mulligatawny soup, that's right, and beefsteak pudding or was it the mutton? - no pudding, that's right, and blackberry and apple pie and cheese. And then to think of him going home and falling down those stairs that very same evening. A frayed dressing-gown cord they said it was as caused it. Of course, his clothes were always something awful - old-fashioned and put on anyhow, and all tattered, and yet he had a kind of air, all the same, as though he was somebody! Oh, we get all sorts of interesting customers here.'

  She moved off.

  Hercule Poirot ate his filleted sole. His eyes showed a green light.

  'It is odd,' he said to himself, 'how the cleverest people slip over details. Bonnington will be interested.'

  But the time had not yet come for leisurely discussion with Bonnington.

  Armed with introductions from a certain influential quarter, Hercule Poirot found no difficulty at all in dealing with the coroner for the district.

  'A curious figure, the deceased man Gascoigne,' he observed. 'A lonely, eccentric old fellow. But his decease seems to arouse an unusual amount of attention?'

  He looked with some curiosity at his visitor as he spoke.

  Hercule Poirot chose his words carefully. 'There are circumstances connected with it, Monsieur, which make investigation desirable.'

  'Well, how can I help you?'

  'It is, I believe, within your province to order documents produced in your court to be destroyed, or to be impounded - as you think fit. A certain letter was found in the pocket of Henry Gascoigne's dressing-gown, was it not?'

  'That is so.'

  'A letter from his nephew, Dr George Lorrimer?'

  'Quite correct. The letter was produced at the inquest as helping to fix the time of death.'

  'Which was corroborated by the medical evidence?'

  'Exactly.'

  'Is that letter still available?'

  Hercule Poirot waited rather anxiously for the reply.

  When he heard that the letter was still available for examination he drew a sigh of relief. When it was finally produced he studied it with some care. It was written in a slightly cramped handwriting with a stylographic pen. It ran as follows:

  Dear Uncle Henry,

  I am sorry to tell you that I have had no success as regards Uncle Anthony. He showed no enthusiasm for a visit from you and would give me no reply to your request that he would let bygones be bygones. He is, of course, extremely ill, and his mind is inclined to wander. I should fancy that the end is very near. He seemed hardly to remember who you were.

  I am sorry to have failed you, but I can assure you that I did my best.

  Your affectionate nephew,

  George Lorrimer

  The letter itself was dated 3rd November. Poirot glanced at the envelope's postmark - 4.30 p.m. 3 Nov.

  He murmured:

  'It is beautifully in order, is it not?'

  Kingston Hill was his next objective. After a little trouble, with the exercise of good-humoured pertinacity, he obtained an interview with Amelia Hill, cook-housekeeper to the late Anthony Gascoigne.

  Mrs Hill was inclined to be stiff and suspicious at first, but the charming geniality of this strange-looking foreigner would have had its effect on a stone. Mrs Amelia Hill began to unbend. She found herself, as had so many other women before her, pouring out her troubles to a really sympathetic listener. For fourteen years she had had charge of Mr Gascoigne's household - not an easy job! No, indeed! Many a woman would have quailed under the burdens she had had to bear! Eccentric the poor gentleman was and no denying it. Remarkably close with his money - a kind of mania with him it was - and he as rich a gentleman as might be! But Mrs Hill had served him faithfully, and put up with his ways, and naturally she'd expected at any rate a remembrance. But no - nothing at all! Just an old will that left all his money to his wife and if she predeceased him then everything to his brother, Henry. A will made years ago. It didn't seem fair!

  Gradually Hercule Poirot detached he
r from her main theme of unsatisfied cupidity. It was indeed a heartless injustice! Mrs Hill could not be blamed for feeling hurt and surprised. It was well known that Mr Gascoigne was tight-fisted about money. It had even been said that the dead man had refused his only brother assistance. Mrs Hill probably knew all about that.

  'Was it that that Dr Lorrimer came to see him about?' asked Mrs Hill. 'I knew it was something about his brother, but I thought it was just that his brother wanted to be reconciled. They'd quarrelled years ago.'

  'I understand,' said Poirot, 'that Mr Gascoigne refused absolutely?'

  'That's right enough,' said Mrs Hill with a nod. '"Henry?" he says, rather weak like. "What's this about Henry? Haven't seen him for years and don't want to. Quarrelsome fellow, Henry." Just that.'

  The conversation then reverted to Mrs Hill's own special grievances, and the unfeeling attitude of the late Mr Gascoigne's solicitor.

  With some difficulty Hercule Poirot took his leave without breaking off the conversation too abruptly.

  And so, just after the dinner hour, he came to Elmcrest, Dorset Road, Wimbledon, the residence of Dr George Lorrimer.

  The doctor was in. Hercule Poirot was shown into the surgery and there presently Dr George Lorrimer came to him, obviously just risen from the dinner table.

  'I'm not a patient, Doctor,' said Hercule Poirot. 'And my coming here is, perhaps, somewhat of an impertinence - but I'm an old man and I believe in plain and direct dealing. I do not care for lawyers and their long-winded roundabout methods.'

  He had certainly aroused Lorrimer's interest. The doctor was a clean-shaven man of middle height. His hair was brown, but his eyelashes were almost white which gave his eyes a pale, boiled appearance. His manner was brisk and not without humour.

  'Lawyers?' he said, raising his eyebrows. 'Hate the fellows! You rouse my curiosity, my dear sir. Pray sit down.'

  Poirot did so and then produced one of his professional cards which he handed to the doctor.

  George Lorrimer's white eyelashes blinked.

  Poirot leaned forward confidentially. 'A good many of my clients are women,' he said.

  'Naturally,' said Dr George Lorrimer, with a slight twinkle.

  'As you say, naturally,' agreed Poirot. 'Women distrust the official police. They prefer private investigations. They do not want to have their troubles made public. An elderly woman came to consult me a few days ago. She was unhappy about a husband she'd quarrelled with many years before. This husband of hers was your uncle, the late Mr Gascoigne.'

  George Lorrimer's face went purple.

  'My uncle? Nonsense! His wife died many years ago.'

  'Not your uncle, Mr Anthony Gascoigne. Your uncle, Mr Henry Gascoigne.'

  'Uncle Henry? But he wasn't married!'

  'Oh yes, he was,' said Hercule Poirot, lying unblushingly. 'Not a doubt of it. The lady even brought along her marriage certificate.'

  'It's a lie!' cried George Lorrimer. His face was now as purple as a plum. 'I don't believe it. You're an impudent liar.'

  'It is too bad, is it not?' said Poirot. 'You have committed murder for nothing.'

  'Murder?' Lorrimer's voice quavered. His pale eyes bulged with terror.

  'By the way,' said Poirot, 'I see you have been eating blackberry tart again. An unwise habit. Blackberries are said to be full of vitamins, but they may be deadly in other ways. On this occasion I rather fancy they have helped to put a rope round a man's neck - your neck, Dr Lorrimer.'

  'You see, mon ami, where you went wrong was over your fundamental assumption.' Hercule Poirot, beaming placidly across the table at his friend, waved an expository hand. 'A man under severe mental stress doesn't choose that time to do something that he's never done before. His reflexes just follow the track of least resistance. A man who is upset about something might conceivably come down to dinner dressed in his pyjamas - but they will be his own pyjamas - not somebody else's.

  'A man who dislikes thick soup, suet pudding and blackberries suddenly orders all three one evening. You say, because he is thinking of something else. But I say that a man who has got something on his mind will order automatically the dish he has ordered most often before.

  'Eh bien, then, what other explanation could there be? I simply could not think of a reasonable explanation. And I was worried! The incident was all wrong. It did not fit! I have an orderly mind and I like things to fit. Mr Gascoigne's dinner order worried me.

  'Then you told me that the man had disappeared. He had missed a Tuesday and a Thursday the first time for years. I liked that even less. A queer hypothesis sprang up in my mind. If I were right about it the man was dead. I made inquiries. The man was dead. And he was very neatly and tidily dead. In other words the bad fish was covered up with the sauce!

  'He had been seen in the King's Road at seven o'clock. He had had dinner here at seven-thirty - two hours before he died. It all fitted in - the evidence of the stomach contents, the evidence of the letter. Much too much sauce! You couldn't see the fish at all!

  'Devoted nephew wrote the letter, devoted nephew had beautiful alibi for time of death. Death very simple - a fall down the stairs. Simple accident? Simple murder? Everyone says the former.

  'Devoted nephew only surviving relative. Devoted nephew will inherit - but is there anything to inherit? Uncle notoriously poor.

  'But there is a brother. And brother in his time had had married a rich wife. And brother lives in a big rich house on Kingston Hill, so it would seem that rich wife must have left him all her money. You see the sequence - rich wife leaves money to Anthony, Anthony leaves money to Henry, Henry's money goes to George - a complete chain.'

  'All very pretty in theory,' said Bonnington. 'But what did you do?'

  'Once you know - you can usually get hold of what you want. Henry had died two hours after a meal - that is all the inquest really bothered about. But supposing the meal was not dinner, but lunch. Put yourself in George's place. George wants money - badly. Anthony Gascoigne is dying - but his death is no good to George. His money goes to Henry, and Henry Gascoigne may live for years. So Henry must die too - and the sooner the better - but his death must take place after Anthony's, and at the same time George must have an alibi. Henry's habit of dining regularly at a restaurant on two evenings of the week suggest an alibi to George. Being a cautious fellow, he tries his plan out first. He impersonates his uncle on Monday evening at the restaurant in question. It goes without a hitch. Everyone there accepts him as his uncle. He is satisfied. He has only to wait till Uncle Anthony shows definite signs of pegging out. The time comes. He writes a letter to his uncle on the afternoon of the second November but dates it the third. He comes up to town on the afternoon of the third, calls on his uncle, and carries his scheme into action. A sharp shove and down the stairs goes Uncle Henry. George hunts about for the letter he has written, and shoves it in the pocket of his uncle's dressing-gown. At seven-thirty he is at the Gallant Endeavour, beard, bushy eyebrows all complete. Undoubtedly Mr Henry Gascoigne is alive at seven-thirty. Then a rapid metamorphosis in a lavatory and back full speed in his car to Wimbledon and an evening of bridge. The perfect alibi.'

  Mr Bonnington looked at him.

  'But the postmark on the letter?'

  'Oh, that was very simple. The postmark was smudgy. Why? It had been altered with lamp black from second November to third November. You would not notice it unless you were looking for it. And finally there were the blackbirds.'

  'Blackbirds?'

  'Four-and-twenty blackbirds baked in a pie! Or black-berries if you prefer to be literal! George, you comprehend, was after all not quite a good enough actor. Do you remember the fellow who blacked himself all over to play Othello? That is the kind of actor you have got to be in crime. George looked like his uncle and walked like his uncle and spoke like his uncle and had his uncles' beard and eyebrows, but he forgot to eat like his uncle. He ordered the dishes that he himself liked. Blackberries discolour the teeth - the corpse's teeth were not d
iscoloured, and yet Henry Gascoigne ate blackberries at the Gallant Endeavour that night. But there were no blackberries in the stomach. I asked this morning. And George had been fool enough to keep the beard and the rest of the make-up. Oh! plenty of evidence once you look for it. I called on George and rattled him. That finished it! He had been eating blackberries again, by the way. A greedy fellow - cared a lot about his food. Eh bien, greed will hang him all right unless I am very much mistaken.'

  A waitress brought them two portions of blackberry and apple tart.

  'Take it away,' said Mr Bonnington. 'One can't be too careful. Bring me a small helping of sago pudding.'

  THE DREAM

  Hercule Poirot gave the house a steady appraising glance. His eyes wandered a moment to its surroundings, the shops, the big factory building on the right, the blocks of cheap mansion flats opposite.

  Then once more his eyes returned to Northway House, relic of an earlier age - an age of space and leisure, when green fields had surrounded its well-bred arrogance. Now it was an anachronism, submerged and forgotten in the hectic sea of modern London, and not one man in fifty could have told you where it stood.

  Furthermore, very few people could have told you to whom it belonged, though its owner's name would have been recognized as one of the world's richest men. But money can quench publicity as well as flaunt it. Benedict Farley, that eccentric millionaire, chose not to advertise his choice of residence. He himself was rarely seen, seldom making a public appearance. From time to time he appeared at board meetings, his lean figure, beaked nose, and rasping voice easily dominating the assembled directors. Apart from that, he was just a well-known figure of legend. There were his strange meannesses, his incredible generosities, as well as more personal details - his famous patch-work dressing-gown, now reputed to be twenty-eight years old, his invariable diet of cabbage soup and caviare, his hatred of cats. All these things the public knew.

  Hercule Poirot knew them also. It was all he did know of the man he was about to visit. The letter which was in his coat pocket told him little more.