Vaalbara; Visions & Shadows

by Michelle Horst

  Then came the haze, and then…I heard them laughing.

  Driving down a narrow road, the air was still crisp and fresh from the early morning dew. They drove past a sign that read James Street, and something else that was a bit of a blur. They laughed again, as Doug took a right and turned into a parking area. Parking the car, they emerged and walked toward a huge building that I soon realized was a hospital.

  “Ready for chemo, sis?”

  “I have to be. It’s this or nothing.” Sarah’s voice turned sad.

  “They could be wrong, you know.” I could hear the encouragement in his voice as he held her tightly to him. His eyes reminded me of a wounded deer.

  “What if the chemo doesn’t work, Doug? They said I only had weeks left. I could be dead in a month…a week!” Her panic was raw and real, and I wanted desperately to take it from her.

  “Don’t let it get you down, sis. You’ve been doing so great.” Doug held Sarah even tighter, as if he could pass some of his strength into her frail and weakened body.

  I wished I was there to help them - this brother and sister who loved each other so tenderly, so unconditionally. I knew it was a miracle just discovering such an astonishing bond between two human beings.

  ~*~

  “Alchera?” Raighne stood behind me.

  “They’re in Ireland! But we have to move fast! Sarah…the woman…is dying!”

  “She is what?” Raighne stared at me in disbelief.

  I nodded frantically. “She has some kind of cancer and only has weeks to live - maybe less than that. We need to move!”

  Raighne’s hand shot out and grabbed my arm. Luckily, it was my left one. “We need to talk.”

  “Now?” I took a deep, calming breath, but it didn’t help. “We don’t have time to talk; we need to find Sarah and Doug first.” I freed my arm and walked straight to the double cab. Without looking back, we all settled in for another long trek.

  I must’ve dozed off because when I woke up it was dark and I was lying in a bed next to Alandra. The clock on the nightstand was flashing 03:53 in bright red numbers.

  I knew I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again, so I got up as quietly as possible, grabbed another painkiller patch, and headed for the door.

  Once outside the cool early morning air felt refreshing on my face. I had a killer headache and it felt like I was coming down with something - something I didn’t have time for.

  I made my way to the coffee vending machine by the motel office where I stood and stared longingly at the beverage I so missed.

  Jason’s hand came past me and fed a note into the slot. “Choose what you want.”

  “Really?” Jason had just become my hero.

  “Really.”

  I got myself a coffee with milk, and nursed it while he got himself one as well. We drank in silence, enjoying the heavenly mixture.

  “Thanks, Jason.”

  “My pleasure.” He sounded tired.

  We sat in his truck and listened to music for a while. It was so great I hadn’t even realized how much I’d missed music.

  “I’m really sorry for strangling you.” I had to smile, it sounded so funny coming from someone like him, someone who was supposed to be all about love.

  “You were upset. I know how much you love your animals. I meant it when I said I’d felt your emotions before.” I wondered why a man with so much love to give was still unattached.

  “Is it really the end of the world?”

  “Yes. I didn’t believe them when they told me either. I thought they were insane or from some weird cult.” I looked at him and smiled. “Vaalbara is beautiful. You will love it there. You’ll be in charge of all the animals, so be prepared to be busy all the time.” That put a big smile on his face, making him actually look pleased for a second.

  “My animals are really there?”

  I nodded. “They are. Safe and alive, every single one.”

  “When will I see them?”

  “I had ten days to get all ten of you, and that was four days ago. So we have six days left to find the other nine. As soon as I have all ten of you we can all go back, then you will be reunited with all your children.” I could see he believed everything I’d just said.

  “What’s up with you and Raighne?”

  “Oh, he’s my guardian. It’s his job to keep me alive so I can get all The Chosen Ones together.”

  “Oh, come on.” He snorted. “That’s not what I picked up on today. The way you guys kept looking at each other and the way the other two looked at each other - if you ask me - everybody ended up in the wrong rooms. But, hell, I’m just the driver here.”

  I looked over at Raighne’s room and saw him standing by the window, watching us. I couldn’t make out the expression on his face.

  I sighed. “We’d better go get ready for today.”

  “Thank you for being honest with me,” Jason said.

  “It’s the least I can do.”

  We walked to our rooms in silence. Before I could reach for the door, Jason took my hand.

  “Alchera, I just wanted to say thank you.” I looked up into his gray eyes. “Thank you for saving my animals. I’m really sorry for your loss and the sacrifice you’ve made for me. I just wanted you to know I’ll never forget it. If you ever need anything from me, just ask.” Letting go of my hand, Jason ducked into the room he was sharing with the other men.

  I don’t know how long I stood outside before Alandra opened the door. She surprised me again by pulling me into the room, while hugging me to her. She held me like that for a while before shoving me in the direction of the bathroom. I’m telling you, this was a serious Jekyll and Hyde moment. I was just waiting for the Hyde to appear.

  “Go shower. I have left clean clothes on the bed for you. I will be back with some breakfast before long.”

  Not wanting to disturb the inner beast, I did what she said. The hot water was divine. I took my time while thinking things over. Why was Alandra acting so differently? Why was she being so kind, almost… loving towards me? Then again, that wasn’t my biggest problem. I had to get to Sarah and Doug, and the rest of The Chosen Ten, hand them to Alandra to take back to Vaalbara, and revel in the fact that my destiny had been fulfilled.

  Somewhere along the way I’d made up my mind I wasn’t going back to Vaalbara with them. Call me a drama queen, but I’d rather die. There was no way I was going to live on the same planet as Adeth and Carter. I couldn’t even defend myself against them. Not to mention, I was still reeling from the words I’d spoken to Jason. It wasn’t like me to be cruel or spiteful. It absolutely scared me to death to know that Vaalbara was changing me somehow, making me feel almost…malicious. I wouldn’t allow myself to turn into one of them…I couldn’t. If I did, Adeth and Carter would win.

  I rubbed myself dry and applied the herbal mixture Aster had given me for my wounds. A knock on the bathroom door had me grabbing the nearest towel.

  “Um… Yes?”

  “It is Raighne. We need to do a healing session.” I stared at the door as if it would bite me, and then frantically scanned the bathroom for my clothes.

  “Crap.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Nothing.” My clothes were on the bed and I only had the towel around me. Problem. Big problem.

  “Um… Raighne, my clothes are on the bed.” I was blushing again. What! I looked in the mirror and sure as hell, my face was lit up like a Christmas tree. I couldn’t believe it.

  “And?” He was so enjoying this!

  “Would you please hand them to me?” I heard him clear his throat.

  I should just go out there wrapped in only a towel to show him who’s boss. Just the thought alone had all the blood in my body rushing to my face. Oh yeah, I was definitely a beautiful crimson by now. That’s the way to show him who’s boss - looking like a turkey that seriously needed basting.

  I hated this helpless feeling. It reminded me of when I used to be Aislinn. I didn’t need this…not now
. So many things had happened since, that I still hadn’t even come to terms with my feelings for “Ryan.” A million emotions ran through me as the door suddenly opened and Raighne appeared.

  “I could’ve been naked!”

  “You would have a conversation with me while standing here naked?” My clothes were in his left hand; his right hand was gently clutching my underwear! I must have no blood left in my body at all by now!

  “You know, it would be quicker to heal you if you were naked.” He had a huge grin on his face, as if goading me. But there was no way on any planet that I was going to continue this discussion.

  “Give me my underwear.” He handed it over, but neither he nor that damn lazy smile disappeared.

  “You gonna’ watch me change?” I could feel the familiar warmth spreading in my face. Okay, Awo…give me strength. Please!

  Raighne left the bathroom, with smile firmly in place, and closed the door behind him. I was so thankful Alandra had done the shopping. She’d bought a very conventional sports bra and underwear set, which looked a great deal like a two-piece swimsuit, which was way more discreet. Odd from a woman whose choices in armor exposed almost every inch of her own perfection to the world.

  “I’m finished.” I hadn’t bothered keeping the towel around me, and got a kick out of his surprised expression when he saw me standing there in my black undies. I felt like the brave one for a change, even though it lasted all of two seconds.

  “What the bloody hell? Alchera!” Raighne went pale; a violent storm seemed to swirl in his eyes, making them sparkle ice-blue.

  Crap! I’d forgotten about my body being a roadmap of scars and wounds. Has he even noticed the stab wound on my leg yet?

  “Your leg! I knew you were hiding things from me. I could feel you were in pain, but it…wait a minute, it went away?”

  I moved backwards as he closed the gap between us. Feeling the towel at my feet, I quickly reached down to cover myself. Now if only I could turn back time and take the last few seconds away so that Raighne wouldn’t know the full extent of my injuries. “I’m f-fine.” I tried to shove pass him. Yeah sure, like that was gonna’ happen.

  Raighne took me by my arms. His grip was so hard, but I was sure he didn’t realize his own strength. I dropped my head and closed my eyes to hide my pain from him.

  I couldn’t fool him. Raighne took a step away and looked down at the floor.

  “Why do you hide your pain from me? Why do you hide your despair from me when you know I see into your mind? You have become good at blocking me, but not that good. I can still get through when you let your guard down.”

  My breathing was shallow. “Look…I’m just tired, th-that’s all.” My lungs suddenly felt blocked, like a truck was parked on my chest, and my headache erupted into a splitting migraine.

  Raighne’s voice was soft, gentle. “I know sometimes…you think of yourself as a monster. How can you, Alchera? How can you think you deserve the pain; that you do not deserve to be helped or healed? How can you think that you are nothing better than Adeth and Carter?”

  I turned my face away; I couldn’t answer him.

  Raighne removed the towel and threw it to the floor. I didn’t move. I had neither the will, nor the strength to flex a muscle. Placing his hands on my ribs, I lifted mine to rest on his shoulders, giving him space to work.

  He didn’t say anything. I could feel his breath on my ear every time he exhaled and it made my insides ignite like never before. Giving me all the ‘healing essence’ he had, Raighne grew tired as the minutes passed and gradually leaned into me.

  Ten minutes later I was leaning against the wall and Raighne was leaning against me - his hands were still healing my ribs.

  Then he stopped.

  “Can you lean forward?” He was exhausted.

  “You need to take a break first.”

  “Lean forward, please.” The soft formality in his voice, like that of a doctor’s, nipped at my heart.

  Raighne held me tighter in his grip.

  Feeling a bit sick, myself, I was convinced that I had the flu. I closed my eyes, as Raighne continued his ministrations on my right arm. Then we both froze. My blood ran cold as Raighne stared at the strange patch on my arm.

  “What is this?”

  “It’s just something for the pain.” I moved away from him, feeling very uncomfortable under his intense gaze. I tried to get dressed as quickly as I could, while feeling as sick as ever.

  “Where did you get it?”

  “At Jason’s house.” I almost growled my reply. I was way too tired for the third degree. “You know what? You said you could read my mind. That means, you should know everything, including the fact that I am pretty much feeling like crap right now. Thanks for the healing. But if you don’t mind I’m going to lie down before I pass out.”

  I stumbled to the bed and flopped down on the sheets. I was too dizzy and nauseated to care about anything besides sleep. But he just wouldn’t let it go. The worried ‘parental’ voice kept ringing in my ears.

  “Do you have more of these…things?”

  I tried to answer him. I really did, except no words would come out of my mouth. I was just too sleepy.

  “Alchera! How…did…use?” Jason was suddenly leaning over me, his face was a total blur. I tried squinting at him but it didn’t help. The ringing in my ears was so loud. Why would he ask me how I used them? Shouldn’t he know? They were his.

  The blur kept talking. “It’s meant…dogs…operations…cancer…” Man, my head was pounding. How could they talk such nonsense when I felt like I was dying? Couldn’t they go somewhere else and yap?

  My wish was granted, and the room grew quiet. Raighne was still there, though. He was literally shoving water down my throat until I felt like I was drowning. What? Did I go to sleep and end up on board the Titanic? That would be funny…if one of those guys was part of The Chosen Ones. Talk about being way too late.

  ~*~

  “I want to die.” I meant it. The clock was flashing 02:49 in the same bright annoying red numbers from earlier. It stung my eyes.

  “Seriously, I need to kill that clock.”

  “Alchera?” Only then did I realize I was spooning with Raighne; his right arm acted as my pillow.

  “Hi.” What else could I say?

  “You do not have to say anything. It is nice to know that you are awake.”

  He rolled me on my back so he could see my face.

  “Do you realize what you have done?” I shook my head. “You took painkillers meant for dogs that have to undergo operations. Those patches were for Jason’s dog Sasha, who is dying of cancer. You overdosed.” He caressed my cheek, and whispered, “Did anyone ever tell you that you must check the label before using something?” He took a deep breath, his forehead against mine. “You could have died.”

  All because you would not come to me. You walked away from me after your father died. You chose to walk around for four days in the most horrific pain rather than come to me. It can only be because deep down you do blame me for failing you.

  Raighne‘s thoughts sliced through my heart. “No! How can you even th-think t-that?” I was horrified by his beliefs.

  “What else am I supposed to think?”

  “I blocked you t-to protect you. I d-didn’t want you t-to f-feel th-that pain…t-to see the…” I sat up and took Raighne’s face in my hands. “I just wanted t-to protect you.” I started crying. “Th-this whole th-thing…th-this whole t-time…I d-don’t want you t-to… The d-day my f-father d-died, I’d lost everything. Th-They’d pushed me t-too hard, Raighne. Carter…” I took a deep breath, trying to calm the stutter.

  “Why did you not come to me to heal you?” Gently moving my hair to the side, Raighne kissed me on the forehead. “It is not like I am just anybody, Alchera. We have formed a bond, and a special one at that. I expect to be the first person you would want to turn to for help…for support.”

  “I won’t d-do it again.” I curled up
against him, wanting his arms around me. I needed his warmth to flow through me. Especially since it was becoming very clear to me that Raighne’s warmth was the only thing to stay alive for anymore. “I’m sorry.”

  He held me tightly to him. I wasn’t sure what he meant with the ‘special bond’ statement. Was that guardian talk or, hopefully, did it mean more?

  ~*~

  Thirty minutes later we were all waiting in the parking lot while Raighne settled the account. That reminded me. I wanted to ask him where they got the money from for this trip.

  “What’s the plan now, Alchera?” Jason asked, and everyone turned to me for the answer.

  “We need t-to…um.” I took a deep breath and went red in the face. Damn…blushing, stuttering, why again?

  “Okay, we need t-to go t-to Ireland next.” And I needed to speak to Aster about my potion. It sucked. Seriously! Why did I have to stutter?

  “Cool.” Jason seemed excited. “We can head to the nearest airfield. I know the guys so we’ll get a plane.

  “Where is the nearest waterfall, Jason?” Evin spoke for the first time since yesterday. Jason just stared at him, like I did in the beginning when the Vaalbara team asked me ‘odd’ questions like that.

  “We can’t use any waterfalls. Th-that’s how I ended up in Jason’s pond in the f-first place.” I took another deep breath. “It was my intention to go to my f-falls, but when I entered the Virtutes Falls I had a vision of Jason standing in his pond. I was lucky the vision wasn’t of him standing in the passageway or the kitchen. Who knows what would have happened then?” There we go - that was better. I’d made it through two whole sentences without a stutter.

  “Alchera is right. She could have died if she had a vision while shifting through a waterfall.” Alandra didn’t look too happy about it…ending up that way.

  Did you expect her to look happy? Raighne’s voice caught me by surprise.

  My mind yelled back. What’s with you? That was an observation not a statement. I was thinking to myself anyway! And you wonder why I try to block you out?