by Skyla Madi
The woman is bent over the back of the bed with one leg hooked on the mattress. The room is almost black save for a dim light emanating from the gap in the bathroom door. With an aggressive grunt, he shoves his hand between her shoulder blades and pushes down on her torso, forcing it against the bed. My mouth runs dry as he pushes her white dress further over her ass, bunching it at her waist. Her white knuckles grip the sheets as he rams into her over, and over, and over again. Faster and harder. Deeper and longer. I bet it feels amazing…
“I know you like to push the limits, Cass, but voyeurism? That’s sick. Even for me.”
I freeze, my stomach colliding with my heart in a flurry of excitement and embarrassment. I whirl around and air leaves my lungs as Caleb’s green eyes drop to my legs and slowly make their ascent to my face. God, he’s attractive. When our eyes lock, I damn near breakdown. I missed him so much…I didn’t notice how badly until now. His lips twitch and I wonder if he missed me. He seems pretty content. Does his heart pound like mine? Or was everything Fiona said, about him being as distraught as I was, a lie to get me out of the house.
“I was looking for a bathroom.” I say, feeling awfully small in his presence.
And what a presence it is. His plain, white tee is tight as it stretches over his broad shoulders. I glance at his chest and the damp patches high on his stomach. I tilt my head. Are they breast shaped? I glare at him. Sulking my ass. I bet he’s been having all sorts of fun.
“That’s a bedroom.” He points out and I cross my arms over my chest.
“I can see that.”
His stare lights up with amusement at my attitude. This so isn’t the reunion I thought it would be. In fact, I kind of wish I never came.
“Can you point me in the direction of the bathroom?”
He points his thumb over his shoulder. “There are people banging in the bathroom, but I’m sure you can slip in and use the toilet without either of them noticing.”
Christ. Is this a party or a brothel?
I grimace. “Ew. I’d rather hold it. Thanks.”
Tension crackles between us as we watch each other. I don’t know what he expects from me. I don’t know what I expect from him. I mean, there are a million things I want to say, but it hardly feels like the right time.
A small eternity later, he exhales and pushes his hand through his unkempt hair.
“Come on. You can use my bathroom.”
I step forward. “Your bathroom?”
“Yes. As much as I’d like to see you pee yourself in front of all these people as payback for what you did to me that shitty Sunday, I don’t want to have to clean it up.”
I flinch. “What I did to you? You said some pretty hurtful things too, Caleb.”
His eyebrows draw in. “It was the truth.”
“That doesn’t make it sting any less.”
He snaps forward, swallowing the distance between us. I back up until my ass connects with the door and it swings open, alerting the couple inside. The girl shrieks and the guy shouts, but Caleb doesn’t care. He keeps his intense gaze on me.
“What do you want from me, Cass? Why are you here?”
“Hey! This room is taken!” Mr. Fuck Boy booms and Caleb finally releases me from his relentless glare.
“Not anymore. Get out.”
Caleb tightens his jaw and purses his lips. I drop my stare to the floor, embarrassment burning in my cheeks. The thought of interrupting someone having sex is mortifying to me, however, Caleb has no qualms about stepping in and putting a halt on their session.
I don’t lift my stare as the couple adjust their clothing and saunter out the door. The girl flees so fast I barely catch a glimpse of her face, but the guy, a broad shouldered, black haired footballer (probably), takes his time. On the way out, he calls Caleb a cock blocking asshole which brings a smirk to his face.
A second later, we’re alone again.
Alone.
“Caleb! There you are.”
Okay. Maybe not.
Caleb curses under his breath, his eyes fluttering shut for a brief second. I turn my head as a tall blonde bounces over to us. Her face is bright with excitement, her dark eyes wide and hopeful. Her gold bikini barely covers her large boobs and I frown as she tucks her long, blonde hair behind her ears. Sighing, she smooths her palm down the front of her bare belly, her thumb swiping a dazzling navel piercing. The movement draws my attention to her jeans—jeans that aren’t zipped up. She’s a pretty girl. I don’t expect anything less for Caleb.
“I have been looking all over for you.” She says, her voice husky and annoyingly pleasant.
Caleb groans, surprisingly bothered by her appearance. “Hannah...great timing.”
Hannah? Hannah leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Ugh. Jealousy is a bitch.
“If you can give me the directions to the bathroom. I’m sure I can find my own way and you can get back to doing…” I glance at the damp, breast shaped patches. Now I know where they came from. “Whatever it is you were doing.”
“Wait outside.” He orders, turning to face Hannah. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Can you just tell me where so I can—”
He snaps his head in my direction, his green rises flaring as he bares his teeth. “Damn it, Cassia. Wait for me outside.”
I can’t help it. My face pinches into a glare. I shouldn’t do what he says, but the need to pee is substantial and the chances of peeing myself is becoming a very real possibility.
“Fine.”
Turning away from Hannah and Caleb is hard, but I hold my head high, as if the two of them together doesn’t bother me in the slightest. As I walk away, it takes everything in my power not to look over my shoulder. It’s one thing to feel jealousy, but to let Caleb know it? I won’t let him have that power over me.
* * * *
I lean against the brick wall of the house, my leg bent at the knee. Barely a foot in front of me, topless meatheads are sucking beer down a funnel and cheering each other on. It’s a real sausage fest and it’s clearly the only sucking action they’re going to get tonight. I smile to myself.
“Don’t get too excited, Cass. Ten bucks says they’re going to go home empty handed and end up blowing each other instead.”
I startle as Caleb slides in beside me, a confident grin plastered over his devastatingly handsome face. He thinks I was checking them out? I wonder if that annoys him as much as seeing him with that blonde annoyed me. Speaking of which, I’ve been standing here a while, waiting. Did he fuck her? Dread slices through my chest, but I play it off with a smile.
“You’re full of shit.”
“Take a look around. There are half naked girls everywhere and these guys are standing around watching each other suck off a hose?”
I shrug. “Maybe they’re happier spending their time with friends instead of chasing girls.”
Caleb tips his head on an angle and a challenge burns in his eyes. “Another ten bucks says these guys didn’t know each other before tonight.”
I snort. “You don’t know shit. Not everyone operates like you.”
I open my mouth to take it back, but I swallow my words. He’s still grinning that arrogant grin. He barely flinched at my insult.
“What does that mean?” He asks and I get the feeling he already knows.
“I’ve been standing here for half an hour.” I point out.
Caleb smiles. “It’s only been twenty minutes.”
I bite my tongue. I’m not going to say it. I’m not going to say it. I’m not—
“She was so pretty you couldn’t last thirty minutes, huh? Was it the piercing or the gold bikini? Is that the type of thing you’re into?”
Ah, fuck. I said it.
His smile widens. He’s enjoying this, isn’t he?
“What are you talking about?”
“You know what I’m talking about.”
Realization flickers over his face.
“Ohh! You think I—” He laughs.
“With Hannah? While you were waiting for me outside?”
I push off the wall and stand on tippy toes. A few yards away, I spot the wide glass doors to what I assume is the pool house. I don’t need his directions.
Caleb calls after me as I force myself between sweaty bodies as they grind up against each other. It takes longer than it should and I’m groped, fondled, and shoved the whole way to the door. I sigh in relief when I make it, only to grab the handle and find out it’s locked.
Tonight is not going well.
With all the time in the world, Caleb casually saddles up beside me, a silver key in his hand.
“I didn’t fuck her. If that’s what you’re insinuating.” He shouts into my ear.
“And the wet patches on your shirt?” I shoot back as he turns the key and slides the door open.
I zip inside before he answers and wait in the darkness. Behind me, he closes the door, locks it, and draws the blinds before flicking the lights on. I squint at the sudden brightness and—wow. His place is immaculate, filled with dark oak and brown leather. This pool house is bigger than most apartments. It’s beautiful. I glance down at the soft charcoal rug beneath my feet. I bet it feels amazing on bare skin...
“Cassia?”
I whip my head up. “Hm?”
“What’d you say?”
“There are wet patches on your shirt...and they are suspiciously boob shaped.”
He pinches the hem of his shirt between his fingers and tugs on the fabric, pulling it outward so he can see it better. “Well, I can’t fight them all off now can I? Occasionally, one might slip through my defenses.” He glances at me. “She wanted to go swimming...but I turned her away.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, did you now?”
Sighing, Caleb lifts his arms and grabs the collar of his shirt over the back of his head. “Don’t you need to go to the bathroom?”
My bladder screams, demanding I release it from this torture. I bet this is how pregnant women feel. Ew. There’s something to look forward to if I ever decide to have children. Caleb points over my shoulder. “There.”
I whirl on my heel and march to the bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I lean against the wood and exhale. Remind me why I thought coming here was worth it again?
I glance at the bathroom mirror—where Fiona said she saw the photographs.
Nothing.
*Caleb*
I lock the door, kick off my shoes, and tug my shirt off over my head. I scrunch it into a ball and toss it at the laundry hamper on the other side of the room. Annoyingly, I miss and it falls to the floor.
I saunter over to my bed and sit on the edge as the sound of water gushing from the bathroom tap kills the silence. My heart races, pounding like hooves on a racetrack. I need to pull my shit together. What is wrong with me? I keep spewing out snarky comments and I can’t help it. I thought seeing her again would go much, much differently, but it’s a complete disaster. I run my hands over my face. How do I fix this?
The bathroom door clicks shut and I lower my hands. Cassia leans against the door, holding her elbow in her hand, crossing her forearm over her chest. She’s beautiful…have I mentioned that? Her long, blonde waves drape down her chest, adding color to her black outfit. I drag my gaze down her long legs to the cute black flats that enclose her soft feet. I like the way she dresses. It’s modest. It leaves a lot to the imagination all while driving me crazy. I know what’s underneath the fabric…what her body is capable of doing to mine. I haven’t touched a female body since that Saturday morning I was with her. I thought about being with someone else, but I couldn’t bring myself to go through with any of the calls. I don’t want anyone else.
“Thank you.” She mutters, slipping me a half-hearted smile.
I nod. What now? Does she want to stay? Does she want to go? Her stance is awkward—uncomfortable. Is that how I’m making her feel? Uncomfortable? Darkness seeps in at the thought, swallowing me whole. I fake a smile and it’s painful.
“What made you want to come tonight?” I ask her.
The question has been eating at me since Drew announced her arrival. Her parents are at my father’s gala, that much I know, but still…she snuck out. Why would she sneak out to come to a party? That’s an awfully big risk for a girl who’d do anything to stay in her parent’s good books. It’s a big risk for a girl with everything to lose.
“Uh…I…” She chuckles nervously, pushing off the door. “Fiona convinced me that you…I don’t know. It’s stupid.”
She shakes her head then flicks her hair out of her face, dropping her gaze to the floor.
“Fiona convinced you that I what?”
I can only imagine the shit Fiona would spill to get Cassia out of her house. Cassia might not see it, but I don’t think Fiona is a good person. Not like Cassia is. There’s something about Fiona I can’t quite pinpoint. You know, besides the whole femdom shit.
“That you needed to see me…like I needed to see you.” Her stare sweeps along my shoulders and up my neck. “She said you were a mess…like I was a mess.”
I swallow.
“But you look like you’re doing okay so this was all a waste of time, really.”
I’m not doing okay. I’m so far from doing okay…but I put on a brave face because I don’t want her knowing just how badly she affects me. Like I said, I’d go from an epic fuck to a pity fuck and I don’t want that. No one wants that.
“You’ve been a mess too, huh?”
Her lips twitch as she fights a sincere smile. She relaxes her shoulders and her body follows suit. I guess that’s all she wanted to hear.
“Fiona calls it a mess, but I was just taking the time to come to terms with my feelings.”
She moves closer, closing the distance between us. The closer she gets, the thinner the air becomes. “I was trying to fight them at first…and when I realized that was impossible, I tried understanding them.”
I crane my neck to look up at her as her knees brush mine. A pink blush stains her cheeks and my breath catches in my throat when she blinks, batting her long, dark lashes. In the last nine days, how many times have I imagined this scenario? How many times have I had her standing in front of me like this, naked and begging?
Too many…
“And how’d that go?” I ask, leaning forward on my knees.
I smooth the palms of my hands against the sides of her thighs and glide them north of her knees. I didn’t want to touch her, but I couldn’t help myself. Her skin is like silk…
“I want to be with you.” She murmurs, placing her hands on my shoulders. “I think you’re worth losing my parents over—which sounds harsh, I know, but they don’t see me for who I am. They try to change me…they might love me, but I don’t think they love me the way I want them to.”
I kiss the inside of her wrist and she moves forward, slipping her thighs either side of mine, lowering herself onto my lap. I keep my hands in a safe place on her thighs, making sure she knows I’m not pushing for anything. Though I’m hard as fuck, I’m content with her just being here, breathing the same air as me.
“I want to be with you.” She whispers, our noses almost grazing.
Finally.
“You don’t want to be with someone like me.” I utter, letting my self-doubt get the best of me. “I can’t give you consistency.”
In the last nine days, I tortured myself with one hundred and fifty reasons I should just leave this poor girl alone. I’m fucking unstable, an anchor strapped to her ankle.
Cassia wraps her arms around my neck and shuffles further up my thighs, until her torso presses against mine—until her breasts rest against my chest.
“I’m not looking for consistency.” She says, matter of factly.
“You should be. Consistency is safe.”
Anxiety punches holes in my stomach. What if I scare her away? What if I become too much for her to handle? I’m not who she thinks I am. Most days even I don’t know who I am.
“Some
days I can’t get out of bed, Cassia, and on those days I’m abysmal. I don’t feel happiness or see color. It’s like being trapped underground with only a teaspoon to dig yourself out. And it’s not just that. I’m confusing, ill-tempered, and sporadic. I…”
I lick my bottom lip. I have to hit her with the truth. She needs to know the risk. I want to be with her, to feel what she makes me feel, but there’s a chance I’ll wake up a day, a month, a year from now and decide I don’t feel anything for her. How fucked up is that?
“Some days I feel nothing for you and others…”
Her eyebrows draw in. “Others?”
A nervous sweat blooms along my collarbone. God help me. “Others…I’m madly in love with you.”
Her pouty lips part, exposing a sliver of her perfect white teeth. Her gaze flickers over my face, her breaths short and deep. “So I’ll take those days and we can work on the rest.”
I close my eyes as she slides her hands into my hair and lowers her lips to mine.
“You deserve one hundred percent, Cass.” I tell her, my lips grazing hers. “Not fifty, not sixty, not even ninety.”
“I won’t settle for less than one hundred.” She states. “But I’m not afraid to work for it. If you can promise me you’ll try then I’m willing to take a chance.”
Our eyes lock, our foreheads press together, and I revel in contentment as it washes over me. I’ve never felt this calm. I’ve never felt peace. With her here, I feel like, maybe, the world isn’t out to get me…that the world isn’t going to end every time I take a breath.
Cassia turns her head to the left as something piques her interest. I follow her stare to a thick book on my bedside table. Damn. The one piece of evidence from my week long sulk that I forgot to stash.
Looking at me, she cocks her eyebrow, her blue eyes sparkling. “You read romance?”
“No.”
“No?”
“It’s for research not pleasure.”
She smiles and it’s enough to suck the confession right out of me.
“The hero always gets the girl.” I tell her, gliding my palms up her thighs and over the curve of her ass. “I was trying to figure out how.”
