Anyone But Me

by Nancy E. Krulik

  Katie didn’t say anything. She slipped on her backpack and headed for the door.

  “Have a good day, kiddo,” her mother called.

  By the time Katie finally reached the school, everyone was inside the building. Katie stood outside by her classroom window. She watched as her classmates scrambled into their seats. Katie knew she should hurry inside. But her feet just didn’t seem to want to move.

  Just then, the wind began to blow. It started out as a slow and gentle breeze. But within seconds the wind was swirling round and round like a tornado. The weird thing was that the wild wind was only blowing around Katie. The leaves on the trees weren’t moving. The bushes weren’t moving. Even the flag up on the flagpole wasn’t moving.

  What was going on? Katie was really scared. She wished she were inside. Away from this wind. She hugged herself tightly, and closed her eyes.

  And then, suddenly, everything was calm again. The wind had disappeared as quickly as it had started. Katie stood perfectly still for a moment, waiting to see if it would start up again. Finally, when she was sure the storm was over, Katie slowly opened her eyes.

  Everything seemed blurry. Katie blinked really hard. Nothing changed. She still couldn’t see very well.

  But she could smell really well. And her nose was twitching. Katie stood up tall and sniffed at the air. All around her were yucky smells: salami, egg salad, old sneakers. It was hard to tell where each smell was coming from. The scents were all mixing together.

  Katie hadn’t only become a champion smeller. She could also hear really well. Too well, in fact. Everyone in the classroom seemed to be shouting. All the noise was making her nervous. Katie could feel her heart beating really, really fast.

  Now Katie was really scared. She wanted to run right home. But her parents were probably at work by now. There was no one at home to take care of her. If Katie didn’t show up at school, Mrs. Derkman would phone her mother for sure. Katie definitely did not want that to happen. She ran towards the classroom. She’d have to hope her sight got better.

  Bam! She bashed right into a solid glass wall.

  That was weird, Katie thought. There hadn’t been a glass wall there before.

  “What’s going on here?” Katie cried out.

  Nobody answered. All the kids in the classroom were so busy yelling, they couldn’t hear Katie’s cries.

  “Hello!” Katie shouted. “Can anyone hear me?”

  Katie began running wildly in circles. She didn’t get very far before she bashed head first into another glass wall. Ouch! That one really hurt.

  As she reached up to rub her head, Katie noticed that her hand looked strange. This hand was small and furry. This hand had nails that really needed to be clipped. Katie touched her face. Her cheeks felt big and round like huge empty pouches, and her face was all hairy!

  Quickly, Katie looked down at her body.

  “Aaah!” she cried out. “I’m naked!”

  Actually, she wasn’t completely naked. Her back and stomach were covered with orange-brown fur!

  And that’s when Katie realized what had happened. She wasn’t outside anymore. She was inside—in a hamster cage. She’d become Speedy, the class hamster.

  Katie tried to scream, but the only sound that came out of her mouth was a loud squeak.

  Chapter 5

  “Hey, look at Speedy!” Zoe Canter called out from the other side of the glass. “He’s going crazy!”

  Within seconds, eighteen pairs of giant eyes were peering through the glass window. They were all staring at Katie.

  Katie was really confused. How could this have happened? It didn’t make any sense. People didn’t just turn into hamsters.

  Then Katie remembered. She’d made that wish the night before. She’d said she wanted to be anyone but herself!

  “Why did this have to be my first wish to come true?” Katie yelped. (Of course, to the kids in class 3A, her words sounded more like “Squeak, squeak squeak, squeak squeak!”)

  “Somebody should throw some oil on that hamster!” George exclaimed. “That’ll stop his squeaking.”

  “Oh, George, be quiet,” Suzanne told him. “Something is obviously bothering the little guy. We should try and help him.”

  “It figures a rat would want to help a hamster,” George said. “You’re both in the same family.”

  “Cut it out,” Suzanne replied.

  “Hey, Ratgirl, show us your tail,” George teased.

  Katie wished she could help Suzanne, but she was just a little hamster. Luckily, George had to stop when Mrs. Derkman told them all to sit back down.

  “I’ve got to get out of this cage,” Katie squeaked to herself.

  The problem was that she knew there wasn’t any way out. The only opening in the cage was at the top, and that was covered by a screened lid. The lid was Mrs. Derkman’s way of making sure Speedy didn’t escape. Now the lid was making sure Katie didn’t escape, either.

  There had to be some way to get that lid off. Katie might have a hamster body now, but she still had a human brain. She was smart enough to get out of a hamster cage. She just had to come up with a plan.

  Before she could think about anything, though, she had to deal with her teeth. They were feeling really long. She needed to chew on something—and fast! Quickly, Katie scampered over to a small pile of brightly colored pieces of wood.

  “Ahh, that feels better.” Katie sighed as she bit into a bright green chew stick. She could feel her teeth getting shorter with each nibble.

  Suddenly Katie had an idea. She took the green chew stick in her mouth and placed it on top of a yellow one. Then she grabbed a blue stick and placed it on top of the green one.

  If I can just build this high enough, maybe I can climb up and push the lid off, Katie thought to herself, as she took an orange chew stick and added it to the pile.

  It took a while, but at last Katie built what had to be the biggest chew-stick ladder of all time. (It also was probably the only chew-stick ladder of all time!) If Katie could climb to the top of the pile, she might be able to reach the lid.

  “Hey, look what Speedy made,” she heard Manny Gonzalez whisper to Kevin.

  “Cool!” Kevin agreed. “It’s like a chew-stick mountain.”

  Katie licked her little front paws and admired her work. She took a deep breath. It was time to try out her plan. Carefully, Katie stepped onto the bottom chew stick. So far so good, she thought.

  Once Katie was safely on the first rung of the ladder, she stood tall on her hind legs and tried to pull herself up to the next rung.

  Bonk! The entire pile of chew sticks came crashing down on top of Katie’s head. Luckily, the sticks were made of a soft wood. Katie wasn’t hurt. And it was kind of fun eating her way out of the pile of chew sticks.

  “I have to stop this!” Katie said to herself as she chewed. “I’ll never get out of here if I don’t stop thinking like a hamster.”

  The trouble was, Katie was a hamster. And right then she suddenly couldn’t think about anything but Speedy’s hamster wheel. Katie couldn’t explain why she suddenly needed to run so badly. She just did. She couldn’t help herself.

  “Hey, this is fun,” Katie squealed as her tiny paws moved faster and faster inside the wheel.

  The wheel squeaked very loudly as Katie ran. The noise didn’t bother Katie’s sensitive hamster ears. In fact, she kind of liked it. Mrs. Derkman, on the other hand, didn’t like the squeaking at all.

  “Suzanne, will you please put a carrot in Speedy’s cage?” Mrs. Derkman asked. “Maybe that will get him to stop running on that squeaky wheel.”

  “Yes, Mrs. Derkman,” Suzanne said.

  Katie watched as her best friend walked over, lifted the lid off the cage, and dropped in a carrot.

  Katie leaped from the wheel and grabbed the treat. As she chewed the carrot, Katie looked up gratefully at Suzanne. Her friend had given Katie more than just a snack. She’d given her a great idea, too!

  Chapter 6
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  Katie dropped the carrot and raced over to Speedy’s wheel. She started running as fast as her tiny hamster feet could carry her. The wheel moved round and round. The squeaking got louder and louder.

  “Excuse me, class,” Mrs. Derkman said finally. “I’m going to have to take Speedy’s wheel out of his cage. The noise is making it too hard to learn.”

  Katie heard Mrs. Derkman’s footsteps come near the glass cage. Her tiny hamster heart beat quickly. This was her only chance to get free!

  Mrs. Derkman took the lid from the cage. She reached in with her hand and tried to gently ease the hamster off the wheel.

  Before Mrs. Derkman could push her off, Katie leaped out and raced up her teacher’s arm. Mrs. Derkman jumped back with surprise as the furry little creature scurried over her bare skin.

  Katie looked from Mrs. Derkman’s elbow to the floor below. It seemed very far away. But Katie knew she had no choice. She placed her little hamster paws in front of her eyes and jumped!

  Thump! Katie landed hard on the cold tile floor. Her hind legs hurt a little. So did her ears. Everyone in the class seemed to be moving and shouting at once.

  “Speedy’s loose!” Kevin announced.

  “Somebody catch him!” Zoe shouted.

  “I’ll get him,” Jeremy volunteered. He got down on his hands and knees.

  “No, I’ll do it,” Ricky Dobbs said. He got down on his hands and knees, too.

  “I think I can get him,” Mandy yelled.

  Suddenly everyone seemed to be grabbing for Katie. Her little hamster body shook with fear. She was lost in a big pile of giant human hands. They were all grabbing for her. Katie couldn’t let the kids catch her. They’d put her back in the cage again!

  Katie ran toward the front of the room. It seemed more empty there. But as she reached Mrs. Derkman’s desk, she caught a whiff of human. Whoever was standing there was covered in kid smells—spilled orange juice, crumbs, and waxy crayons.

  Suddenly, the boy by the desk shrieked. “Get it away from me! Get this thing away from me!”

  Katie would know that voice anywhere. It was George. She couldn’t believe it! The big class bully was scared of a tiny little hamster.

  Katie couldn’t help herself. She ran over to George and brushed up against his leg. Then she climbed right over his shoe.

  “AAAAH!” George screamed as he leaped up onto Mrs. Derkman’s desk. He stood there, high off the ground, shaking. “Get it! Somebody catch that furball!” he screamed.

  Katie laughed to herself. The class bully had been bullied—by a tiny little hamster. Deep down, Katie knew she’d been pretty mean. Her parents had always told her that two wrongs don’t make a right, but Katie couldn’t help feeling just a little bit happy at hearing George screaming in fear.

  Just then, the classroom door opened. Mr. Kane, the principal, was standing at the door. “What’s going on in here?” he asked.

  “Our hamster is loose,” Suzanne explained quickly.

  “There he goes!” Miriam added, as Katie ran right between Mr. Kane’s legs and out the door.

  “Hang on, Speedy!” Kevin cried out. “We’ll save you!”

  Chapter 7

  “Not so fast, Kevin,” Mr. Kane said. “I can’t have a whole third-grade class running around the school.”

  “But we have to find Speedy,” Kevin argued.

  “Right now you have to go to gym class,” Mrs. Derkman interrupted. “I’m sure Speedy will turn up.”

  “But Mrs. Derkman,” Jeremy pleaded. “He could get stuck in a wall or something.”

  Mrs. Derkman sighed. “I’m sure he’ll be fine, Jeremy. Now, class, let’s line up. We’re already late.”

  Katie raced down the hall as quickly as her little legs could take her. She was looking for someplace where she could be safe.

  As she turned the corner, Katie found herself in a small empty room. What a relief! There was no one here to chase her. She stood on her hind legs and began to clean her front paws with her little pink tongue.

  Just then, Katie heard footsteps coming into the room. She froze in place as someone turned on a light.

  “Man, Brennan, you are such a chicken!” Katie recognized Ricky’s voice. “I didn’t think you would be afraid of a tiny hamster.”

  “I’m not,” George answered him.

  “So how come you were screaming like that?” Ricky continued.

  “How come your face is like that?” George argued back.

  It wasn’t much of an answer, but it sure shut Ricky up. “I’m not afraid of anything,” George continued.

  Katie sniffed at the air. The room was beginning to smell like old sneakers and dirty socks.

  “Do you think Coach G. will make us play kickball again?” Kevin asked. “I hate that game.”

  “Well, we’d better hurry up and get out there. Coach gets mad when we take too long in the locker room,” Jeremy said.

  Katie’s eyes grew wide. Oh no! She was in the boys’ locker room ... while the boys were getting dressed for gym! This was so embarrassing!

  Katie had to find a good hiding place.

  Someplace where the boys couldn’t see her.

  Someplace where she couldn’t see anything she wasn’t supposed to see!

  Quickly, Katie leaped into the nearest small hole. She landed in some sort of strange, soft cave. She crept inside as far as she could go. Then she sat very, very still.

  The inside of the cave was moist and stinky. It smelled like sweaty feet. But at least it was dark and quiet. No one would find her here.

  Suddenly, Katie felt someone lift her hiding place right off the floor. Katie peeked out and looked up. A giant, stinky gym sock was coming right at her!

  Yikes! Katie’s safe cave was actually someone’s sneaker. And whoever the sneaker belonged to was about to crush her with his big, smelly foot!

  Katie had to escape from her sneaker cave. She ran toward the opening, and leaped out onto the floor.

  “AAAAHHHH!” George screamed as he dropped his sneaker. “There’s a mouse in my shoe!” He leaped up on a bench. “Get it out of here!”

  “That’s no mouse,” Ricky yelled. “That’s Speedy!”

  “We’ve got to get him,” Manny Gonzalez shouted.

  But Katie wasn’t about to be caught in the boys’ locker room. She ran for the door.

  The boys’ screams were way in the distance by the time Katie felt safe enough to stop running. She hid behind a trash can and stood very, very still. She was trying to hear if anyone was coming after her. Luckily, the hallway was silent.

  Suddenly a wind began to blow. Katie lifted her little hamster nose and tried to sniff at the breeze. She didn’t smell anything unusual—just the ammonia that the janitor, Mr. Peterson, used to clean the floor. She couldn’t smell any flowers, trees, or even car fumes coming from outside the school. In fact, there didn’t seem to be a window open anywhere.

  Still, the wind was definitely blowing. Katie could feel it whipping through her thick, orange fur. It swirled all around her like a tornado ... exactly as it had just before Katie had turned into a hamster!

  Oh no! Katie thought. What’s happening to me now?

  Chapter 8

  Finally, the magical wind stopped blowing. But Katie was afraid to open her eyes. She’d already been turned into a hamster. What if this time she were something even worse—like an ant or something?

  Slowly, Katie cracked open one eye. She raised her hands to her face. No fur. Good. And she had fingers—five of them on each hand. She looked at her nails. They were filed short. A few of them still showed a few chips of leftover glow-in-the-dark glitter nail polish. These were definitely her hands.

  Was it possible? Had she turned back into herself?

  Quickly, Katie ran into the girls’ room and looked in the mirror. An eight-year-old girl with red hair, green eyes, and a line of freckles across her nose looked back at her. It was true! Katie was back!

  Out of the corner of her eye, Ka
tie saw a small orange ball of fluff rush past her into one of the bathroom stalls. Speedy! The real Speedy was really on the loose. Quickly she ran into the stall. She found Speedy hiding behind the toilet. He seemed frightened and confused.

  Katie scooped the hamster up and held him in her hands. “It’s okay, little guy,” she told him quietly. “Everything’s back to normal now.”

  As Katie walked back to the gym, the voices of her friends became louder. They were all complaining because Coach G. and Mrs. Derkman wouldn’t let them chase after Speedy. Katie grinned as she opened the gym door. She would be a hero for bringing the hamster back.

  “Were you guys looking for this?” she asked as she walked in the door.

  “Katie, where’d you find him?” Suzanne shouted from the other side of the room.

  “Oh, we just sort of ran into each other in the girls’ room,” Katie replied.

  “Boy, it was a good thing you were late today,” Kevin told her. “Otherwise Speedy might have been gone forever.”

  “It’s never a good thing to be late for school, Kevin,” Mrs. Derkman reminded him. “But I am glad you found the hamster, Katie. Now, please take him back to the classroom and put him in his cage. And make sure the lid is on tightly.”

  Katie did as she was told. She pet Speedy gently as she placed him down on his cage floor. Then she handed him a treat bar.

  “You deserve this,” she whispered quietly. “We worked really hard this morning.”

  Speedy slept for the rest of the morning. Katie spent the time trying to keep her mind on her lessons. But it was hard for her to think about anything other than her adventure. After all, how often does an eight-year-old girl turn into a hamster?

  Katie wished she could tell Jeremy and Suzanne all about what had happened to her. But she knew they would never believe her. She wouldn’t believe it either if it hadn’t happened to her.