Swan's Way
Page 13
When had the blow come? How had Virginia handled it? There was so much Ginna still wanted to know about Virginia Swan and Channing McNeal.
“Tomorrow,” she whispered, her eyelids growing heavy. “Neal and I will go back to the greenhouse tomorrow. I have to find out more about Virginia—everything.”
Neal’s drive back to Swan’s Quarter seemed excrutiatingly long and painful. This was his fault. He shouldn’t have put so much pressure on her. If he loved her as much as he claimed he did, he should have been willing to give her time to think things through. He should have just cooled it, popped the question, then let her take all the time she needed to think things through.
“Damn!” He banged the steering wheel with his clenched fist. “Just rush in like a bulldozer! When are you going to learn, Frazier?”
He made up his mind that the best thing to do was back off. Give Ginna some space. Maybe he wouldn’t even go to the hospital to pick her up tomorrow. Let them bring her back in an ambulance. It was driving him nuts being away from her, but he would have to get used to it, for the time being, anyway. She would be going back to her home—wherever that was—after tomorrow. He wouldn’t mention marriage again. No more pushing! No more pressing!
By the time he pulled into the drive at Swan’s Quarter, he was grim with resolve. The old blackness was creeping back into his soul. For a time this afternoon, he had allowed himself to believe that he had been saved from the plane crash to find Ginna, to love her and make her happy. Now that seemed to Neal no more than a cruel joke. He hadn’t been saved for anything. It was just an accident. One of Fate’s pointless little twists.
Leonard Kirkwood met him at the door. “Where’s Ginna?”
Stupid question! Neal thought. But he managed to keep a civil tone when he answered, “They kept her at the hospital for observation. She’s supposed to be released in the morning.”
“Did they tell you anything about her condition?”
“Not a damn word! Seems, since I am not immediate family—only the guy who’s in love with her—I’m not entitled to any information.”
“That’s routine hospital policy, Neal.”
“Routine or not, it sucks! I’m half out of my mind, and those jokers are treating me like I’m some bum off the streets who just happened in to ask nosey questions.”
“Come on to my office, Neal. You look like you could use a drink.”
“Don’t mind if I do. It’s been a long night, and it looks to get longer yet.”
Once they were settled in the doctor’s comfortable office, both sipping bourbon-and-branch, Kirkwood broke the silence. “Ginna told me you’ve asked her to marry you.”
Neal nodded. “I did, and she said yes.”
“You don’t think the two of you are rushing this a bit?”
“What if we are?” he snapped, not wanting to hear it.
“Well, you are here for treatment, Neal. Do you think you’re ready to deal with a new situation, when all your old doubts and guilt are still unresolved?”
Neal put down his glass and leaned forward toward Kirkwood, his eyes narrowed, his face grim. “Listen, Doc, you got two choices here—assign me to a loony bin or let me live my own life. Sure, I’ve got problems, probably some that will never get resolved. But I can deal with them as long as I have Ginna. I love that woman like I’ve never loved anybody in my life. I am going to marry her! Understand?”
“I only wanted to make sure you had thought this through.”
“What’s to think through? We’re in love. We want to be together.”
“And Ginna feels the same way?”
“I can guaran-damn-tee it! We’ve both been drifting around all our lives, trying to find each other. Now, at long last, we have. This is the real thing, Doc, no doubt about it.” Neal wished he could be as certain as he sounded.
The doctor smiled. “It’s nice, isn’t it? Love, I mean.”
“Best medicine in the world.”
“I envy the two of you. I’m still looking for that special someone.”
Neal brightened. “Then you won’t stand in our way?”
Kirkwood offered his hand in congratulations. “Of course not, Neal. I couldn’t, even if I thought you two were making a mistake. I don’t think that. Ginna’s a special lady. I’ve hoped for a long time that she could find happiness with someone. I’ll admit that for a while, several years ago, I thought—or hoped—I might be the one. But she never felt anything for me. I gave up on that long ago. I wish you both a happy life together and all the luck in the world.”
“Thanks, Doc.” Neal grinned and pumped Kirkwood’s hand.
“If you want to borrow my car again in the morning to go to the hospital and pick her up …”
Neal waved the offer away. “No. It’ll be better if she comes back in the ambulance. I don’t want to crowd her. My pushing may be what brought on her fainting spell. See? I think I have this thing figured out. It’s like an escape mechanism for Ginna. When she doesn’t want to face something or be rushed into something, she just tunes out. Faints. And, I admit, I was pushing her pretty hard for an answer. A woman needs time. I realize that now. I won’t make the same mistake again.”
“Well, if you’re sure.” Kirkwood wasn’t so certain that Neal was making the right choice. Ginna was bound to be disappointed when he didn’t show up to bring her back to Swan’s Quarter.
“I know what’s best for the woman I love. You can count on that.”
“Very well.” The doctor rose. “I’ll see you in the morning, then.”
After Neal left, Kirkwood sat back down at his desk. He had found out what he wanted to know. They were planning to get married. There was no doubt that Ginna would be good for Neal, snap him out of his depression and back into the normal world. He only hoped that Neal’s love could heal Ginna as well.
“What do you mean, I have to go home in an ambulance?” Ginna was fit to be tied. She had had a terrible night, filled with worries and self-doubts. Her one ray of hope had been the thought of seeing Neal, first thing this morning. Now they were telling her he wasn’t coming.
“I’m sorry, Miss Jones, but Dr. Kirkwood called and said Mr. Frazier wouldn’t be coming this morning. He said to send you on back to Swan’s Quarter the same way you came.” The nurse, a kind-faced, chocolate mountain of a woman, gave Ginna a broad smile. “That’s some fine looking young man you got yourself, if you don’t mind my saying so, ma’am. And he is crazy about you! He pitched himself one royal fit last night when the doctor told him he couldn’t stay in your room ’cause he wasn’t family.”
The nurse’s chatty tone calmed Ginna. “We’ll be family, soon enough. We’re getting married.”
“Oh, my, that’s nice! When’s the big day?”
“We haven’t set a date yet, but it will be soon.”
“Will you be getting married at Swan’s Quarter? There hasn’t been a wedding there that I know of, since Miss Agnes Willingham married Mr. Rodney Swan back before the war. My great-great-auntie worked for the Swans back then. Story passed down in my family says that was the grandest wedding ever held in Frederick County. I reckon it was a sad day, too, though.”
“You know it was supposed to be a double wedding?” The nurse, Rosene, nodded solemnly. “Everybody around these parts has heard the tale of poor Miss Virginia and her grave disappointment. She must have been one sad lady on that day.”
Rosene’s comments piqued Ginna’s curiosity. “I don’t know the whole story. What happened to Miss Virginia after that?”
“The story goes, she stayed on at Swan’s Quarter with her mama and some of the other relatives, all through the war. I reckon she figured once the fighting was over, she and Mr. McNeal might get to marry after all, if he made it through the war alive.”
“And did he?” Ginna asked breathlessly.
Rosene narrowed her eyes. “I don’t rightly know, ma’am.”
“Then you don’t know w
hat happened to Virginia Swan, either?”
The nurse shook her head. She was about to say something, when the orderlies came for Ginna. Rosene waved goodbye and disappeared with a swish of white nylon, as they wheeled her patient away to the waiting ambulance.
All during the fast ride back to Swan’s Quarter, Ginna pondered the fate of Virginia Swan. Again, she vowed to revisit the greenhouse and find out more about the couple, who seemed the mirror images of herself and Neal from out of the past.
Dr. Kirkwood was on the veranda when they arrived, along with Pansy, Elspeth, Sister, and Marcellus Lynch. Ginna looked all about, but there was no sign of Neal.
“Land sakes, we were worried about you, child,” Elspeth said, stroking Ginna’s hand.
“We didn’t sleep a wink all night,” Sister added.
Then Pansy, beaming and dabbing at happy tears, leaned over Ginna. “Is it true?” she whispered. “Are you and that nice Mr. Neal Frazier really getting married?”
“Ladies!” Dr. Kirkwood interrupted. “Please let these men get Ginna to her room. After she has rested from her ride, you can visit her.”
Ginna reached out and gripped the doctor’s sleeve. “Where’s Neal?”
The frown on Kirkwood’s face told Ginna what the answer would be. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him around this morning.”
“Tell him I have to talk to him,” she begged.
“After you’ve rested.”
“No! Now!” she insisted.
“Stay calm, Ginna. I’ll find him and send him up to see you.”
With a sigh of relief, she lay back on the stretcher and motioned that she was ready to go inside.
She had been in her bed, alone and restless, for nearly a half-hour before she heard a soft knock at her door.
“Who is it?”
“Neal. The doc said you wanted to talk to me.”
“Oh, Neal!” she cried. “Come in!”
She was propped up on her pillows, her arms outstretched for a hug when Neal slipped in the door. But he made no move to embrace her. Instead, he stood across the room, looking solemn and a little uncomfortable.
“How are you feeling?” he asked at length.
“All right, I guess.” She started to tell him that she would feel a lot better if he would come hold her and kiss her. Something about his expression stopped her from saying that, though.
“I was really worried about you last night, Ginna. They wouldn’t tell me anything.”
She forced a laugh. “I don’t think there was much to tell, Neal. I fainted. You know that. As far as anyone told me, all the tests were normal.” Now she chuckled out loud. “Tell me, when was the last time you had a woman swoon in your arms from sheer ecstasy?”
“Well, it won’t happen again?”
She wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but the words stabbed like a knife through her heart. Was he merely saying that he didn’t want her to faint again? Or did he mean he had no intentions of making love with her a second time? Or, worse yet, had Neal decided that he didn’t want to marry her, after all?
“Neal, come here.” She patted the bed beside her. “Come sit with me, please.”
He did as she asked, albeit hesitantly. When he was perched on the edge of the bed next to her, she reached out and took his hand. For a few moments, neither of them uttered a word.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Neal. If you’ve decided that last night was all a big mistake, tell me now. Don’t lead me on. It will only hurt more.”
He turned and stared into her eyes, his face a mask of misery. “Is that what you think, Ginna? That we made a mistake?” He looked away. “I should have figured. A nice lady like you and a bum like me. You deserve better.”
She brought his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles. “You fool!” she said softly. “I told you I love you. I do! That’s not a phrase I use lightly. Nothing’s changed about the way I feel. If anything, I’m more sure than I was last night”
He leaned down and kissed her very softly.
“Don’t Ginna,” he whispered. “Don’t say another word right now. I was wrong to push you so hard last night. I caused your fainting spell. I don’t ever want to hurt you again. God, if anything happened to you, I don’t know what I’d do! So I want you to think about this some more. Think about last night and next week and next year. Think about what you really want to do with the rest of your life. See if I fit into the picture. I want you to be sure—as sure as I am.”
He kissed her again, before she could answer. It was a long, lazy kiss that made her dizzy and set her on fire. She wanted him—right here, right now. But he drew away, stood, and turned toward the door.
“Neal, don’t go,” she begged.
“Doctor’s orders. He said I could stay five minutes, no more.”
“Listen to me, Neal. I want you to meet me in the greenhouse at eleven forty-five.”
“Kirkwood said he wants you to stay in bed today.”
“Never mind what he says. This is important. I want to see Zee’s ghosts again. I have to find out about something—someone. And I need you with me. Will you come?”
Neal hesitated, then a slow smile lit his face. “It’ll be hell to pay, if the doc finds out.”
“He won’t find out. I’ll slip down the back way, the old servants’ stairs. You will meet me, won’t you?”
Neal nodded, still smiling. “And where do you intend to take me this time, Miss Swan? Back to New York or to some secret destination?”
“You know!” she exclaimed.
“Bits and pieces. A lot of what happened in the greenhouse came back to me last night. I couldn’t sleep, I was so worried about you. Then I got to thinking what that old man told me about the fourth dimension. You know how it is, once you start thinking. Your mind wanders and things sort of start linking up and filling in the whole picture. I’m still missing some pieces, but I have an idea that you and I are sort of repeating history. Am I close?”
“I don’t know, Neal. I’m not sure what’s happening, either. But I do know we have to go back. I must find out what happened to Virginia Swan.”
He touched his lips and tossed the kiss her way. “The greenhouse, then, eleven forty-five.” He opened the door as if to leave, then turned back for a moment. “By the way, darlin’, I almost forgot. I love you!”
After Neal left, Ginna hugged her pillow to her chest and rocked back and forth. For no reason she could fathom, she was crying suddenly, weeping rivers of melancholy, aching tears.
“Oh, Neal, my darling,” she whimpered, “what’s to become of us? What does all this mean?”
She couldn’t guess at the moment, but she vowed to do everything in her power to find out.
Chapter Eight
Neal was waiting when Ginna arrived at the greenhouse. She felt a little shaky, but the sight of him reassured her and gave her strength.
“I sent old Zee on an errand, so we’d have the place all to ourselves,” Neal said. Reaching out to take her hand, he drew her close and gave her a sound hug.
“Hm-m-m,” she sighed. “I needed you to hold me earlier. Why didn’t you?”
“Couldn’t trust myself with you in bed, looking so cool and tempting. You don’t know what you do to me. I wouldn’t have been able to stop with a hug, darlin’.”
“I wouldn’t have wanted you to stop, either,” she whispered, snuggling closer into his arms with a sigh.
“It’s almost time,” Neal said. “The ghosts should appear any minute now.”
“Neal, how much do you remember of what happened yesterday? Tell me quickly, before the sun touches the glass.”
“I guess I remember just about all of it I tried to deny it at first—tell myself it was some kind of hallucination or daydream. But the more I think about it, the more real it seems. You were Virginia Swan, weren’t you, Ginna? And I was Channing McNeal. But I still don’t understand. How did it happen? Why?”
Neal had set his watch alarm to go off at eleven minutes to noon. The small, repeating beeper sounded just then. They fell silent and turned toward the old glass plate negative of Virginia and Channing, waiting for the flash that would bring the pair of lovers back to life through them. The sun’s rays found their mark and, for an instant, the ghosts of that long-ago couple shimmered before Ginna and Neal, seeming almost alive.
Ginna squeezed Neal’s hand. “I’ll see you on the other side.”
“In the fourth dimension.”
Neal’s words were the last sound in the greenhouse, before time stopped at Swan’s Quarter.
Ginna soon found that she was mistaken about seeing Neal somewhere across time. When she found herself again in Virginia’s body, neither Neal nor Channing was anywhere to be seen. She was alone with another young woman in the rose garden at Swan’s Quarter. Both of them wore wide-brimmed straw bonnets that tied under their chins. They were dressed in pastel gingham gowns with yards-wide skirts. With gloved hands, they snipped colorful roses from the luxuriant bushes. A small black boy in knee pants and a ragged shirt followed along behind them, carrying a basket to hold their cut flowers.
“Now, don’t you dawdle, Teebo,” Virginia’s companion scolded gently when she turned to see the little servant chasing a butterfly, instead of tending to his duties.
Virginia laughed—a happy, carefree sound. “Let him play, Agnes. Goodness sakes, it won’t be long before he’s in the fields stripping tobacco.”
“He should learn to mind his business now, if he’s to make a good field hand.”
Agnes was a petite young woman with ebony hair and sleepy gray-green eyes. She had a creamy complexion that had never felt the kiss of the sun. Rodney’s fiancée had never climbed a tree, never ridden a horse, never done anything in her seventeen years that was less than perfectly ladylike. Often in the past, when Melora Swan had scolded her daughter for her tomboy ways, Agnes Willingham was the example Virginia’s mother held up to her to be emulated. Even so, the two girls had always been close friends, and soon they would share their wedding day. Soon they would become sisters.