It Ends Tonight (Bayou Devils MC Book 4)

by A. M. Myers

  “She’s out like a light,” he announces with a bright smile and I can’t help but mirror the expression. The stress from earlier is gone and he looks so carefree and happy. It’s infectious.

  “Thank you. You’re so good with her.”

  His warm smile washes over me as he sits down next to me. “No need to thank me and I’m only good with kids because I’m incredibly immature.”

  He flashes me a grin but it’s obvious, to me at least, that it’s covering up something deeper. As he leans forward to pull the food out of the bag, something flashes across his face and that same stressed look greets me when he hands me my food and forces a smile. I’m dying to ask him about what’s wrong but the truth is, we still don’t know each other all that well and I don’t want to pry.

  “You got anything to drink?” he asks and I nod, pointing to the kitchen behind me.

  “Yeah, you’re welcome to anything you’d like.”

  He leaves me on the couch to go to the kitchen and when he comes back, he has two bottles of water in his hands.

  “I was gonna go for the wine but then I thought it wouldn’t mix well with your meds.”

  I nod, taking the bottle from him. “You’re probably right.”

  “Speaking of which,” he starts, sinking back into the seat next to me. “Didn’t the doctor tell you to stay your ass in bed?”

  “Um… yes?”

  “So why aren’t you?”

  Glancing down at my hands, I feel a blush creeping up my cheeks. Why do I care if he’s upset that I didn’t listen to the doctor? “I really tried but after a few hours I was bored to tears.”

  “Woman,” he mutters, shaking his head. “I have half a mind to carry you back up there right now. Are you at least taking it easy?”

  “I promise I am.”

  He nods with a sigh.

  “You really don’t have to keep taking care of me though.”

  He glances over at me and his eyes fall to my lips before he quickly looks away. “I couldn’t walk away from you. Besides, you’re not the hardest person to spend time with.”

  “Well, thank you for that glowing recommendation.” I laugh and he grins. “You’re a good man, Lucas. I… just wanted you to know that.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that,” he says and although I know he is trying to make a joke, the pain on his face is too intense to ignore. Leaning forward, I reach up and run my thumb across the line on his forehead.

  “Why do you always look like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders?”

  He shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s just my face.”

  “It’s not.”

  He jerks back slightly as his eyes narrow and after a second, he sighs. “I’ve got a lot of shit in my life, Quinn, and the truth is, you’re the only thing I’ve found that brings me any peace.”

  “You don’t have to talk to me,” I whisper even though I’m dying to dig deeper. “But I am a pretty good listener and I don’t judge.”

  Setting his food on the coffee table, he sighs and turns to face me on the couch. “It’s… uh, my brother, Clay. He’s been using drugs for the last six years and if I’m not on a job for the club, I’m out searching for him and trying to get him clean.”

  “That’s heavy,” I whisper, watching as pain splays across his face. He nods.

  “Yeah. I know it may seem pointless or stupid to keep trying when he doesn’t even want my help but he’s my brother and since we were kids, it’s just been the two of us. He’s all I have left.”

  I grab his hand and give it a squeeze. “You don’t have to explain that to me. Alice is all Brooklyn and I have left, too, and I would do absolutely anything for her.”

  “You understand,” he says like I’m the first to ever do so and I nod.

  “Yeah, I do.”

  Clearing his throat, he smiles and my heart skips a beat. It’s terrifying but I have to admit that there is something about Lucas that gets to me. It would be so easy to fall for him if I allowed myself to but I don’t know if that’s something I could do.

  “I’m really glad I met you, Lucas,” I whisper, my heart racing and his smile is blinding as he reaches over and brushes his thumb over my cheek. A blush creeps up my own.

  “You just read my mind, babe.”

  * * * *

  “Well, Quinn, car accident aside, you seem to be doing well. Have there been any more nightmares since we last spoke?” Dr. Jeffers asks from her chair across from me. She crosses her legs and sets her notebook down in her lap as she waits for my answer. I nod.

  “Yes, a few.”

  “And how did you handle them?”

  I think back to the last nightmare I had and smile. “Pretty well, I think. I was able to let it go and get my day started without too much trouble.”

  “Excellent!” she exclaims with a grin before her eyes narrow as she studies me. “There’s something different about you since I saw you two weeks ago.”

  I twist my fingers in my lap, thinking about dinner with Lucas last night and the movie we watched together afterward. “I met someone.”

  “I see. More good news. How did you meet him?”

  “He was there when I got in the accident and he sat with Brooklyn and I until the paramedics got there. He even rode with me to the hospital because I was so scared.”

  Her smile is soft as she jots something down in her notebook. Not knowing what she was saying used to drive me crazy but I’ve gotten used to it, for the most part. “Has he asked you out or are you just talking?”

  “No, we’re just talking. He also stopped by last night with sparklers for Brooklyn and dinner for me.”

  “Sounds like a good man.”

  I nod, twisting my fingers some more. “I think he is.”

  “But you’re scared,” she supplies, stating what I’ve been thinking for the past couple days. I nod.

  “Yeah, I am. He seems like a really good man and my heart races anytime he’s near me but there’s just so much in my past and so much that would affect any relationship we could have.”

  She nods, jotting down some more notes. “This is an important step in your recovery, Quinn, and it’s essential that you learn to move forward with love. After all you’ve been through, it would be so easy to close yourself off and spend the rest of your life alone but I know that’s not what you want. Pushing yourself past this barrier won’t be comfortable for you but I know you’ll be happy once you’re on the other side.”

  “Why don’t you ever have any easy fixes?” I grumble and she laughs.

  “Sorry. That’s not how it works but I have faith in you. You can do this.”

  I sigh, staring down at my fingers in my lap. “He hasn’t even asked me out.”

  “Do you think he will?”

  “I don’t know.”

  She tsks disapprovingly. “Yes, you do. You just don’t trust your instincts anymore. Don’t overthink this.”

  “How could I not?”

  “After what happened to you, I know you have this intense need to know what’s around the next corner but life doesn’t work like that, Quinn, and you’re going to end up stalled out in the middle of the road for the rest of your life if you don’t learn to swallow that fear.”

  “What if it goes terribly wrong?” I ask, meeting her gaze.

  “The date? So what if it does? It’s two hours of your life and in the end, it won’t be that big of a deal. If you’re referring to the relationship in general, I have good news for you.”

  I arch a brow. “What?”

  “This is completely normal. These fears you have now are the same fears everyone has at the beginning of a relationship; they’re not from the incident.”

  I nod, mulling over her words. “But what do I tell him about my past?”

  “Whatever you’re comfortable with, Quinn. The key here is baby steps. You don’t have to unload everything all at once and if he’s as good of a man as you think he is, he’ll understand why you
need to take things slow.”

  The timer on her desk goes off and I release a breath, feeling lighter than I did when I walked in the door. Standing, I hold my hand out and smile. “Thank you.”

  She shakes my hand before going to her desk and flipping through her calendar. “Again in two weeks?”

  I nod and after we have my next appointment scheduled, I go out to my car and turn toward home with a smile on my face. Dr. Jeffers is right - I can totally do this. I’m still scared to death but her comment about spending the rest of my life alone scares me more. Whether it’s Lucas or someone else, I need to learn to move past this because I want a family someday - for Brooklyn and myself.

  My phone rings as I pull into the driveway and I grin at Lucas’s name on the screen.

  “Hey, you,” I answer.

  “Hey, yourself. What are you up to tonight?”

  I climb out of the car with keys and bag in one hand as I nudge the door shut with my knee. “Just getting home from a doctor’s appointment and then probably just hanging out with Brooklyn. Why? What are you doing?”

  “I’m stuck on this surveillance job and I’m bored.”

  I laugh as I step inside. “I’m so sorry about that.”

  “Don’t be. You’re the only thing getting me through.”

  Alice rushes past me with one shoe on her foot and the other in her hand as Brooklyn crawls along behind her, laughing. I bite my lip to contain my giggles.

  “Hey, let me help Alice get to class and figure out dinner for Brooklyn and me and then I’ll call you back, okay?”

  He groans. “You’re killin’ me.”

  “I’m sorry. I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

  We say good-bye as Alice races back into the room, buttoning up her shirt. “Long day, Al?” I ask, laughing and she shoots me a glare.

  “I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to Brooklyn screeching in my face.”

  Brooklyn plops her butt down next to me and reaches up. Laughing, I reach down and scoop her up, my body still aching something fierce.

  “Did you scare your auntie?” I ask her and she screeches again, smashing her little hands against my chest.

  “Little monster,” Alice growls as her lips twitch with the smile she’s barely holding back. Brooklyn blows a raspberry at her and we both laugh. “That girl is a ham.”

  “I think she gets it from her auntie,” I muse and Alice shakes her head.

  “Oh, no. I had nothing to do with that. This little girl,” she says, tickling Brooklyn’s belly, “is one hundred percent her mama.”

  Thank God.

  The thought flits through my head without warning and my smile falls as I struggle with the memories threatening to resurface.

  “Shit, Quinn…” Alice says and I shake my head, holding my hand up.

  “No, I’m good.”

  My phone buzzes in my hand and I glance down, thankful for the distraction.

  Lucas:

  Don’t worry about dinner.

  Something is on the way.

  Me:

  Thank you.

  I would tell him that it’s really not necessary but I’ve already figured out that he wouldn’t listen to me anyway. Besides, being taken care of for once actually feels pretty damn good.

  “And who is putting that smile back on your face?” Alice asks, trying to peek at my phone. I lock the screen to hide it from her.

  “No one.”

  “Mmhmm,” she hums, walking to the door and grabbing her book bag before opening the door. “Tell Lucas hi for me.”

  “Go to class,” I grumble, giving her a playful shove and she laughs as she steps outside and closes the door behind her. I turn to Brooklyn and make a face. “Your auntie is trouble, little girl.”

  She blows another raspberry and I laugh as I set my purse down and carry her into the living room. Once I have her set up with her toys, I sink into the couch and dial Lucas’s number.

  “Finally,” he answers and I shake my head, giggling.

  “I don’t think that was even ten minutes. Thank you for dinner, by the way.”

  “You’re welcome. It was entirely selfish, though since I wanted you to call me back sooner,” he answers and I laugh again.

  “Noted. How was your day, besides the boring stakeout?”

  He sighs. “Okay, I guess. Went looking for Clay but didn’t find him, which is pretty typical.”

  “When was the last time you saw him?”

  “Yesterday. I had to bail him out of jail, then we got into it and he ran off.”

  My heart aches for him. “What did you fight about?”

  “Uh…” he stutters before sighing. “My past is dark and complicated, Quinn, and I don’t want to scare you off.”

  “I know a thing or two about dark and complicated,” I whisper, tears welling up in my eyes. “In fact, I might have you beat.”

  “Now that, I doubt, but maybe you’d think about getting dinner with me and telling me about it?”

  My heart skips a beat as butterflies race around in my belly. “Oh… I don’t…”

  “Don’t give me an answer yet, okay? Just think about it and know that whatever is in your past, I can handle it.”

  Dr. Jeffers’ comments from earlier pop into my mind and I suck in a breath. “I suppose I could think about it.”

  It’s not a yes but it’s not a no either and it feels like a monumental first step for me.

  Chapter Six

  Quinn

  My phone rings, rattling across the table top as I look over my binder for the children’s fundraiser and I scoop it up, smiling when Willa’s name flashes on the screen.

  “Hey, what’s up?”

  “Hey, boss lady. How are you feeling?”

  I lean back in my chair and sigh. “Oh, you know, like I got hit by a truck.”

  “Isn’t that joke getting old?” she asks, barely holding back her laughter and I shake my head.

  “No, never.”

  “We’ll have to agree to disagree.”

  Laughing, I stand up and walk into the kitchen. “Oh, fine, ruin all my fun. So, what’s up?”

  “I’m just wondering if I’m going to see you in the office on Monday?”

  “Yeah,” I answer as I grab a bottle of water from the fridge. “I can’t afford to take anymore time off with the hospital fundraiser so close.”

  “Did the doctor clear you?”

  I roll my eyes. “Yeah, I saw him this morning.”

  “Good. Are you going to need a ride in the morning?”

  Stopping in the middle of the kitchen, I breathe a curse and look toward the front door. “I totally forgot that I don’t have a car anymore.”

  “So, is that a yes?”

  “Um… I’m not sure yet. Let me think it over and get back to you.”

  It took the insurance company five minutes to total my Maxima and because I’d been ordered to take it easy, it never even occurred to me that I would need to go buy a new car.

  “Have you gotten a check for the car yet?”

  I sink into the chair as I shake my head. “No, not yet. They said it’d take a week or two but I may just go buy something today. I don’t want to put you or Alice out.”

  “I really don’t mind, Quinn.”

  “No,” I mutter, my mind mulling over the options. “I might as well get it taken care of now. One less thing to worry about, you know?”

  “Okay, well, let me know if you need any help.”

  I agree and we discuss a few things to go over on Monday before saying good-bye. When I hang up the phone, I set it down on the table and sigh. Shit. I guess I need to go buy a car today but Alice took Brooklyn and currently, our only vehicle, to the park to play. My teeth sink into my lip as my gaze drops to my phone. Lucas told me to call him if I needed anything but I don’t want to bother him if he’s busy. Tapping my fingernails against the table, I debate with myself for a few seconds before scooping the phone up and sending him a text.

&n
bsp; Me:

  Hey, you busy right now?

  As I wait for his reply, I take one last look over the binder and make a list of the most urgent things I need to take care of before packing everything up. Just as I’m stacking it in the middle of the table, my phone buzzes and I grab it.

  Lucas:

  Nope. You okay?

  Instead of texting him, I dial his number and press the phone to my ear.

  “Everything okay?” he answers on the second ring and I smile, my heart beating a little faster at just the sound of his voice.

  “Yeah, everything’s good. I just need some assistance today if you’re free.”

  “I’m always free for you.”

  A giggle spills out of me as I shake my head. “I’m not buying your lines.”

  “Are you sure?” The playful tone in his voice sends a blush creeping up my cheeks and I’m glad the house is empty so no one else can see how much he gets to me. Alice has been relentless since she came home on the Fourth and found us watching a movie together but I’ve been able to appease her without spilling too much information. That won’t last long though.

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  He sighs. “Fine. What do you need help with?”

  “Well, the insurance company totaled my car so I kind of need to go buy a new one and I was hoping you’d come with me.”

  “Absolutely,” he answers without hesitation. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll come pick you up.”

  Glancing at the clock, I nod. “Okay, I’ll be ready. And thank you, Lucas.”

  “Happy to help, gorgeous.”

  We say good-bye and as soon as I hang up, I rush up the stairs as quickly as my sore body will allow and riffle through my closet before choosing a short white lace dress and my cowboy boots. I change and go into the bathroom to touch up my makeup as my belly does a little flip.