“Not from where I’m standing.”
“For that, I thank you. Besides, gossip isn’t a static thing, Amanda,” he said. “Very soon, they’ll find something else to talk about.”
“I suppose,” she said, looking at the crowds in the park. Most of the people she’d known her whole life. Oh, there were plenty of outsiders who had come into town solely for market day. But the great majority were familiar to her. Which was probably why everyone felt free enough to talk about her.
She knew they were watching her now, too. Wondering why she was walking with Alex when it was clear she and Nathan were starting up again. A tiny twist of pain wrapped itself around her heart. “As much as I love Royal, it’s not always an easy place to live.”
“No place is easy,” Alex said, his expression becoming thoughtful again, as if there were things chewing at him.
Somehow, she’d struck a nerve, Amanda thought. From what she knew, Alex Santiago hadn’t been in town very long and she wondered if anyone really knew him well. Reaching out, she threaded her arm companionably through his. “Everything okay, Alex?”
Immediately, his handsome face brightened as he flashed her a smile. “You’ve a kind heart Amanda, but there’s no need for concern. I’m fine.”
“Am I interrupting?”
Amanda looked up when Nathan’s deep voice demanded her attention. He was only a few feet away, headed right for her. The sunlight winked off the sheriff’s badge pinned to his broad chest. He wore his favorite scuffed boots and a uniform shirt tucked into black jeans. The gun at his hip made him look even more formidable than usual. His gaze was fixed on hers, but still he managed to fire a brief glare at Alex.
A flash of heat shot through Amanda at Nathan’s nearness and made the heat of the summer sun seem no hotter than a match-head in comparison. She wanted to fan herself, but she knew it wouldn’t do any good, so she settled for sarcastic indifference instead.
“If I said ‘yes you are,’” Amanda quipped, “would you go away?”
His eyes flashed. “Not until I know what you guys are talking about.”
Alex grinned at his friend. “About small towns and smaller minds.”
Nathan frowned and nodded. “You mean the gossip.”
“Among other things,” Amanda said, drawing Nathan’s eyes back to her. She knew him so well she could see the tension in his face. The gossip was irritating to her. To Nathan, it had to be infuriating. “What do you want, Nathan?”
“Coffee, one of Margie’s cinnamon rolls and to talk to you. Not necessarily in that order.”
So, there wasn’t even going to be a pretense of friendliness between them. He was acting as if the kiss they’d shared hadn’t happened. As if putting it out of his mind made the whole scene disappear.
“I’m busy,” she said. “Alex and I are shopping.”
She should have known that men would stick together. Alex immediately said, “Actually, there are a few things I have to take care of. I’ve enjoyed myself, Amanda.” Shifting his gaze to his friend, he nodded and said, “I’ll see you later, Nathan.”
“You don’t have to go,” Amanda told him quickly. Without Alex there, she and Nathan wouldn’t have a buffer. And she suddenly wanted one really badly.
“Yeah, you do,” Nathan said at the same time.
Alex only laughed. “You two are very entertaining. I’ll be on my way.”
Around them, conversations rose and fell. A sultry wind teased the hem of her shorts and in the distance, children played and laughed. Amanda knew that she and Nathan were now the center of attention, but she didn’t care anymore. Alex had been right about one thing. Sooner or later, everyone would find a new topic of interest. Until then, her best choice was simply to ignore them all. People would talk and she couldn’t stop them. So instead, she continued on toward Margie’s coffee cart and wasn’t surprised to have Nathan right at her side.
“Mona Greer saw me at your place when I was there a few nights ago,” he told her, his voice low and deep.
“Well, that explains a few things,” Amanda said wryly.
“That woman should have been a spy.”
“Maybe she was. Now she’s retired,” Amanda mused, “and she’s looking for new things to occupy her.”
He snorted a short laugh. “That’d be something. Mona in the CIA.”
Amanda laughed, too, then Nathan looked down at her and she caught the confusion in his eyes.
“This doesn’t bother you? Being talked about?” Nathan asked.
“A little,” she admitted. “Okay, a lot. But I can’t stop it, so why make myself nuts?”
“Healthy attitude.”
“I try,” she said, and fell into line at the coffee cart.
Nathan stayed beside her and, keeping his voice low, he said, “I still think we need to set some ground rules, Amanda.”
“Like you coming around the diner to keep an eye on me?”
He frowned.
“Or are you talking about when you kissed me?”
She had the satisfaction of seeing a flash of temper spark in his eyes. Then he spoke as if she hadn’t said a thing. “We agree that there’s nothing between us anymore and—”
Amanda didn’t have to speak. She only looked up at him, making no attempt at all to hide the smile curving her mouth. Nothing between them? Hadn’t they proven just the other night that if nothing else, there was still plenty of heat between them?
He scowled, clearly understanding what she wasn’t saying. Then he muttered, “That doesn’t count.”
“Felt like it counted to me.” In fact, that one kiss had kept her awake most of the night feeling restless, edgy. Memories had crowded in on her until all she could think about was Nathan and how things used to be between them. That kiss had stirred up everything for her, making the last few days really uncomfortable. And now Nathan wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened?
* * *
Nathan looked down at her and watched her meadow-green eyes narrow. She was mad. He liked that. Better than amused. Or accepting. Anger was safer. For both of them. Except for the fact that she looked so damn good when she was pissed off at him. Gave her a fire he’d never found in any other woman.
Her light brown hair was pulled into a high ponytail at the back of her head. She wore gold hoops in her ears that dangled long enough to skim her smooth shoulders, displayed nicely in a navy blue tank top. Her white shorts showed off her tan and made her legs look as if they were a mile long, and the sandals let him see she still wore the gold toe ring he’d given her on her left foot.
A breeze sent her ponytail dancing and it was all Nathan could do to keep from reaching up and twining that silky mass around his fingers. Damn it, she was in him again. As fiercely as she had been years ago. For days now, he’d been tormented by thoughts of her. By memories so thick they’d nearly choked him. He’d hardly slept for dreams of her and when he woke, it was to a body that was hard and aching for want of her.
His talk with Jake hadn’t helped any. He’d meant it when he said there was no peace with Amanda. But back in the day he hadn’t been looking for peace, had he? All he’d been able to think about was her. Her laugh. Her eyes. Her scent. Her taste. The feel of her hands on his body and the sweet brush of her breath when she kissed him.
Hell, no, that wasn’t peaceful.
It was…consuming.
And it was happening again. Only this time, he’d come up with a plan to combat it. It had hit him in the shower just that morning—another damn cold one—that what he needed to do was get Amanda back in his bed.
Over the years, Nathan had convinced himself that he’d idealized what he and Amanda had shared. That was why he hadn’t been able to find another woman to compare to her. His own mind had set him up for failure by making the memories of Amanda so amazing that what
woman could hold a candle to her?
What was needed here was a little reality. And sex was the key. Get her in his bed, and get her out of his mind once and for all.
It was the only road to sanity.
Once he’d had her again, he could let her go. This tension between them would finally be over.
As his plan settled into his mind, he smiled to himself.
“What?” Amanda asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re smiling,” she pointed out.
“And that’s bad?” He laughed a little and moved forward as the line continued to snake ahead.
“Not bad,” Amanda said, still watching him warily. “Just…suspicious.”
Behind them in line, someone chuckled.
Nathan frowned. Damned hard to work on seducing a woman when you had half the town watching your every move. “So when I’m angry, you’re mad and when I’m not, you’re worried.”
She thought about it for a second, then nodded. “That’s about right.”
For just a moment, Nathan enjoyed the confusion in her eyes and found himself laughing briefly. “There really is no one else like you, is there?”
“Probably not,” she admitted and moved a bit closer to the head of the line.
She could always drive him out of his mind, Nathan thought, letting his gaze move over her in appreciation. He’d always liked tall women—they were right in easy kissing range. Amanda, though, was like no one else. Or at least that’s how he remembered it. Even in high school, when she was a freshman and he a senior, he’d been drawn to her. His friends had given him grief over it, of course—but he hadn’t been able to stay away.
And then, years later, those same friends had told him about the rumors that had eventually torn him and Amanda apart.
“So tell me, Nathan,” she said, shattering his thoughts and drawing him back to the moment, “are you interested in my sister?”
“What?” He goggled at her. “Where did that come from?”
She shrugged, glared at the man behind them, openly listening to their conversation, then leaned in closer to Nathan to say, “I’ve seen the way she watches you.”
Nathan thought about that for a minute. He hadn’t noticed Pam looking at him in any particular way. Okay, yes, he’d dated her a couple times a year or so ago, but it hadn’t gone anywhere and they’d parted friends. Or he’d thought they had. Until now. Frowning slightly, he said, “We went out a few times a while back, but—”
Her eyes went wide. “I can’t believe you dated my sister,” she said, cutting him off sharply.
The man behind them in line let out a long, slow whistle, but when Nathan gave him a hard look, the guy got quiet fast.
“It was a couple of dates. Dinner.” He thought back. “A movie.”
“It was my sister.” She fisted her hands at her hips. “How would you like it if I dated Jake?”
“I think his wife would mind it even more than I would.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I do. But we were over, remember?” Nathan whispered and moved with the line. How long was this line, anyway? And were there even more people crowded around them than there had been a few minutes ago? “Besides, Pam was here and—”
“So she was here,” Amanda said, interrupting him again and making Nathan grind his teeth together in frustration. “Well, then. Of course I can understand that. The whole proximity factor.”
The whistler behind them chuckled now and only shrugged when Nathan gave him another hard stare. This conversation was going to be all over town by suppertime, he told himself, and still he couldn’t keep from saying, “At least Pam never lied to me.”
She sucked in a gulp of air and her eyes shone with fury. “Lie to you? I never lied to you. You were the one who—”
“That’s it,” he muttered and grabbed hold of her arm.
He wasn’t going to do this with a couple dozen people watching them with all the avid interest of a crowd at a football game.
Dragging her out of the line, he headed toward the nearest deserted spot. A shade tree close to the now-empty baseball diamond. Naturally, nothing with Amanda came easy. She tugged and pulled, trying to get out of his grip, but no way was he letting her go until they had this settled. And for this talk, they needed some damn privacy.
“Let go of me!” She kicked at him, but missed.
“In a minute,” he muttered.
“I want my coffee. I do not want to go anywhere with you.”
“That’s too damn bad,” Nathan told her and never slowed down. When they finally reached the shade of the oak, he let her go and she stared up at him, furious.
“I don’t know who you think you are, but—”
“You know exactly who I am,” he told her, voice low and filled with the temper crouched inside him. “Just like you know that I hate putting on a show for the whole damn town.”
“Fine.” She lifted her chin, met him glare for glare and then said, “You want to talk, here it is. I never lied to you, Nathan.”
“And I’m supposed to take your word for that?”
“Damn right, you are,” she shouted, obviously not caring who was listening. “When did I ever give you a reason to not trust me, Nathan?”
She had a point, but he didn’t want to admit to it. All he remembered were the rumors she hadn’t been able to disprove. The sympathetic glances from his friends. The gossip that insisted on a completely different story than the one she’d told him. And his doubts had chewed on him until, ragged with temper and tension, he’d faced her down and in one night, they had lost everything.
“What was I supposed to think?” he demanded. “My best friends told me that story. Why wouldn’t I believe them?”
Shaking her head, she looked at him now with more hurt than fury and that tore at him.
“Because you were supposed to love me. You should have taken my word for it.”
Shame rippled through him and was gone an instant later. He’d done what he thought was right. Hell, he’d been half-crazed back then anyway. When he heard she had lost the baby, he was enrolled in the police academy in Dallas and hadn’t been able to get to her. Hadn’t even been able to call her. To figure out truth from lies.
“It was a long time ago, Amanda.”
“Was it?” she asked quietly. “Doesn’t feel like it right now.”
No, it didn’t. The past was there, in the park with them. Shadows of memories crowded together, dimming the sunlight, making the other people in the park fade away until it was just he and Amanda. He looked into her eyes and said, “All right then. Tell me now. The truth.”
She sighed. “I shouldn’t have to tell you again, Nathan. You know me. You knew me then. You should have believed me. I lost our baby.”
Pain slapped at him but he pushed it away. Now that the past was here, it was time to finally settle it. If he wanted to get her out of his mind, then he was going to have to make a start right here.
“Then who the hell was it who made sure I thought you had ended the pregnancy on purpose?”
Five
“I don’t know,” Amanda said, shaking her head. She still couldn’t believe anyone had spread that rumor. Couldn’t believe that Nathan had thought for even a minute that she would ever do such a thing.
In a flash, Amanda was back there, on the night when everything crashed down around her. They’d been engaged for two weeks—because Nathan had insisted on a wedding the moment he found out she was pregnant. But that night, she had been the one doing the insisting.
“The wedding’s off, Nathan.”
“Just like that?”
“The only reason you were marrying me was because of the baby, right?” Those words cost her. She so wanted him to say
that wasn’t true. That he loved her. Always had. That they would be okay, they would get past this.
But he didn’t.
And she couldn’t marry a man who didn’t love her—no matter how much she loved him.
“So that’s it?” he demanded. “Now that you’re not pregnant, you don’t need me anymore, that it? Find someone richer?”
Stunned, she could only look at him. She had never cared a damn about his money. She’d loved him for as long as she could remember. And she’d convinced herself that he cared for her, too. Even though he’d never actually said the words. Now she could see she’d been living in a dream world. “How can you say that?”
“Oh, I’m not done,” he told her flatly. “You said you lost the baby, but that’s not the whole story, is it?”
Amanda stared up at him. She had expected him to be supportive. To share the pain that was still tearing through her. The loss of the baby, her hopes, her dreams for the future. They were all gone now.
She’d needed Nathan so badly. Now that he was here, she only wanted him gone.
“I don’t know what you mean,” she said finally.
“Yeah, I think you do.” He stalked around the perimeter of her tiny Midland apartment. “Hell, you hated the thought of marrying me so much you got rid of my baby?”
“What?” Shock held her in place. Outrage made her want to scream. Pain held her in such a tight grip she could hardly breathe. “You think—”
“Thought I wouldn’t find out, didn’t you?” he asked, his voice dripping with ice.
“There was nothing to find out, Nathan.” Through her pain, anger began to blossom like a black rose. She gave it free rein. “I lost the baby. I had a miscarriage. I told you.”
He scrubbed one hand across the top of his head. “Yeah, that’s what you told me. Others told me something different.”
“And you’d believe them? Believe that I could do something like that to our child?”
His eyes were hard, his expression distant, remote. “Why would anyone say that if it wasn’t true?”
Good question, but that was for later. Right now, the most important question on her mind was how could he think for even a second that it was true?
Rumor Has It Page 6
