Will to Love

by Miranda P. Charles

  "I should have helped you pack before we left your apartment."

  "It's okay. I've got packing down pat now after all the travelling I have to do."

  "I'll miss you," Clarise said to him with a doleful look on her face.

  "I'll miss you too, my sweet. Badly, " he answered.

  Will knew he was going to suffer without seeing Clarise for three weeks. He was glad his schedule was so fully packed it would help divert his attention from thoughts of her. But at the same time, he was far from happy that he was so busy he had to be away from her for that long.

  He thought about asking her to go with him. But she also had her work here plus he wouldn't have much time to give her anyway even if she was there. He would be in meetings and expos during the days and functions and more networking during the night.

  He used to thrive on being busy, on having a fully-packed schedule. It used to give him a buzz and a sense of focus. But now, that kind of business schedule just made him feel like a soulless machine and it wasn't exciting him as much as it used to. Without Clarise, it didn't mean much anymore.

  It still amazed him how he could feel so much for her in the short time that he'd known her. She felt like home. She felt like his reason for living. She felt like his one true goal.

  He cupped her face and looked deeply into her eyes. "I love you, baby."

  Clarise saw the depth of emotion in Will's eyes and it made hers well up. "I love you, too, honey. Very much," she whispered.

  They kissed for a very long moment until Will pulled away. "Baby, if I don't leave now, I'll have a harder time leaving later."

  Clarise sighed. "Okay." Then a thought occurred to her. "Hey, maybe I can drive you to the airport tomorrow."

  Will groaned. "Sweetheart, please don't make it any harder than it already is."

  Clarise pouted. "Okay. I'm sure we'll get used to this being apart thing eventually."

  "Well, I hope we don't have to be apart too often. We'll work something out," he promised. "Now, up you go," he said as he helped Clarise to her feet. "You can walk me to the door."

  "Why, thank you, sir. What an honour."

  He swatted her behind playfully.

  "Oww!"

  "I'll miss your cute butt."

  "Just my butt?"

  "No, I'll miss your whole fucking body."

  His words conjured up an image that made them instantly hot and bothered. They stood still, staring at each other for a long moment before Will grabbed Clarise and kissed her hard. In a second, their hands were all over each other.

  Will backed Clarise up against the wall and pinned her with his body. He adjusted his stance and ground his erection against her sensitive flesh again and again as he nibbled her earlobe and kissed her neck.

  Clarise was unable to stop the mewling sounds that escaped her. Feverishly, she tugged on Will's shirt and put her hands underneath it, feeling his smooth back.

  Will shuddered with desire. "I need you, baby. Now," he whispered gutturally.

  "Yes."

  He put her arms around his neck. "Put your legs around my waist." She did so and he carried her to her bedroom.

  Will laid Clarise on the bed, lifted her skirt and took of her panties. He opened her bedside drawer to get a condom. Then he quickly undid his belt, unzipped his pants and pulled them down to his knees. As he prepared himself with the condom, he said, "I can't wait until I get back when we don't have to use these things anymore."

  "Me neither, baby," Clarise murmured as she spread her legs wide open for him, inviting him to enter her.

  Will's cock got painfully hard at the sight of her. "Baby, you're so fucking hot," he groaned.

  He positioned himself between Clarise's thighs. In one swift movement, he was inside her. He drove in and out of her, hard and fast. He watched avidly as Clarise writhed underneath him, lifting her hips to match his rhythm, gasping loudly. It was pushing him close to the edge. "Oh, fuck, Clarise... fuck..."

  Clarise's breathing became faster and her gasps became loud moans. "Oh, God, baby...oh, honey, honey...ahhh...Will!" she cried as her body convulsed in orgasm.

  "Huhhh, huhhh, baby... aarrgghh!" he followed shortly and collapsed on top of her, breathing hard.

  After a long, quiet moment, Will stirred. He braced himself on his elbows and gently pushed strands of hair away from Clarise's face.

  "It will be a long, gruelling three weeks without you, sweetheart."

  "I know. I love you, Will."

  He smiled at her with love shining in his eyes. "I love you, Clarise."

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Karen was getting more and more excited as the time to fly to Europe came close. She would be meeting Will in Vienna in a couple of days and she'd arranged it so she could see him in Budapest as well.

  It was easy to get to Will through his business. Her friend Debra Armstrong, Will's new client, had been a great help in finding out Will's schedule. It took a bit of planning, but she managed to squeeze in a last-minute, one-week trip to Europe.

  One big task for her is to let Clarise Carson know she existed, and that Will had asked her to marry him. Sure, they were no longer together but she had been the one to break off their engagement. If she didn't walk out on him, she'd be Mrs. William Matthews now.

  She needed Clarise to butt out of Will's life so he wouldn't get distracted with Clarise while she worked on getting him back. Now that his business had taken off big time, and his support to his parents had reduced, she could see them having the kind of life she always dreamed of having. She wanted a very good looking, successful husband who would give her the lifestyle she wanted. And that was Will.

  She looked at the diamond ring she wore on her right ring finger. She tried to give it back to him after they broke up but he wanted her to keep it. That meant something, too, didn't it? If Clarise needed any proof that she was previously engaged to her boyfriend, she had it.

  ~~

  "Hi, Clarise. I have Gina Blakely at reception for you."

  "Thanks, Elena. I'll be right out." Megan had given her the heads up that Gina Blakely, wife of one of Rick's tennis buddies, was handing her a 6-course massage therapy voucher she could auction at her charity fund-raising. Apparently, she was just around the corner from Clarise's office and wanted to hand the voucher now instead of waiting for the day of the event to give it to Megan.

  She walked out to the reception and saw two good-looking women at the sitting area. She glanced at Elena who confirmed with a nod that one of them was Gina Blakely.

  "Hi, I'm Clarise," she said to the two women who looked up when they saw her approach.

  They both stood up and the one with shorter hair extended her hand. "Hi, Clarise. I'm Gina. Thanks for coming out. I just thought it would help Megan plan the auction better if she had our donations early. Here's the massage therapy voucher and Karen has something to donate, too."

  The more stunning-looking of the two extended her hand to her. "Hi, Clarise. I'm Karen Childs. I'm donating a 6-month gym membership to Megan's event." Karen was polite but was a little cold and detached which Clarise felt acutely.

  "These are great, girls. Thanks so much. Megan would really appreciate them." Clarise turned to Karen with a warm smile. "And I'm sure Megan would be pleasantly surprised by this additional donation, Karen. She wasn't expecting this."

  "No problem," Karen replied cooly. "Gina mentioned Megan's event to me. Megan and I don't really know each other but since Chris and Will play tennis with her fiance, I'm more than happy to support her."

  Clarise's eyes widened in surprise at the mention of Will's name. "You know Will?"

  Karen chuckled dispassionately and looked at Gina who smiled smugly. "Oh, yes. Will and I go way back. He and I were...engaged. We were together for four and a half years."

  Clarise was too shocked to notice the glint in Karen's eyes as the other woman observed her astonishment.

  Gina piped in, "So, Karen, you haven't told me where you and Will are catching up
. Is it in London? Paris? Rome?"

  Karen smiled enigmatically. She answered Gina but watched Clarise surreptitiously. "In Vienna in a few days then I'll see him again in Budapest."

  "Well, I still don't know what possessed you to break up with the man in the first place," Gina replied.

  Karen looked down on her hands and said softly, "I made a mistake."

  "Obviously," Gina concurred. "That's why you're still wearing his ring."

  Clarise followed their gazes and saw the large diamond ring Karen was wearing on her right ring finger.

  "Hey," Karen said with a small laugh. "I did try to hand it back to him but he wouldn't take it back."

  Clarise couldn't stop the gasp that escaped her. Was it a gasp of shock or pain? She couldn't say. Maybe it was from both.

  "Oh, Clarise," Karen said smoothly, ignoring the distressed look on Clarise's face. "I'm sorry we got carried away with our conversation. I haven't seen Gina for so long and both of us are big gossips. Anyway, we better go. I still have to pack. I'm flying for Europe tomorrow." She turned to Gina, "Ready?"

  "Yes, let's go. Clarise, say hello to Megan and Rick for me."

  Clarise gave them a small nod which was all the response she could manage. She stood there, long after the two women had gone, unable to move.

  "Clarise?" Elena called to her concernedly. When she didn't answer, Elena stood up from behind the reception desk and went to her. "Clarise?" she asked again as she touched her on the shoulder.

  Clarise looked at her, startled. "Are you okay?" Elena asked.

  Clarise nodded and walked quickly back to her office. She closed her door and sat on her chair. Her heart was aching and disbelief was still coursing through her body. She knew what she heard but she was having a hard time taking it in.

  In her mind's eye, Clarise watched a scene seven years ago when Nick told her he was getting married to his ex-girlfriend. He told her this right after he came back from a trip to Perth where he reconciled with his ex. Clarise squeezed her eyes shut. No, please, no. Not again! All the doubts and fears that she thought she had managed to push away when she met Will threatened to overpower her.

  She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling cold. She needed to get out of here. She wanted to escape the overwhelming pain she saw barrelling towards her like an uncontrollable steam train.

  She packed her laptop and told her boss she needed to go home early. One look at her told him there was something wrong and he sat her down before he would let her go.

  "What's wrong, Clarise?"

  "I just received some distressing news, Ray. It's personal."

  "Are you going home to your family?"

  "No," she smiled tightly. "I just need to be alone for a while."

  Ray Thackery stared at one of his best employees with concern. In the five years that he'd known Clarise, he had never seen her like this before. But as her problem was personal, he wouldn't probe.

  "Okay. But if you need anything, promise you'll let me know?"

  She gave him a grateful smile. "I'll be fine, Ray, thank you."

  ~~

  Clarise was curled up in her bed when she heard her mobile phone ring. She glanced at her clock and knew it would be Will. This was a pre-determined time for his call. She ignored it. She just couldn't deal with this - with him - right now.

  They spoke almost everyday for the last week and a half since he left Sydney and not once did he mention meeting up with his ex-fiancee. In Vienna and Budapest, nonetheless! Clarise thought that if they were meeting in Europe, it was reasonable to assume they were also meeting here in Sydney. How many times have they met since she'd been with Will? Her heart felt like it was being squeezed hard by strong, invisible hands.

  She heard the phone ring again five minutes later, then heard the 'ting-ting' of an incoming message. She didn't move from her bed.

  It rang again a few minutes later. All the ringing was making her headache grow worse. She dragged herself up and reached for the phone to turn it off.

  Not more than five minutes later, her home telephone rang, startling her. She groaned and hoped it wasn't Will. The answering machine picked up and she heard Megan's clearly worried voice. Oh, no.

  'Clarise, are you there? Please pick up if you are. We're getting really worried about you. Where are you? Please call me as soon as you get this message.'

  Clarise ran for the phone before Megan could hang up. She didn't want her family to worry. She made it on time.

  "Meg, I'm here," she said.

  "Clarise!" Megan exclaimed. "Are you sick? You don't sound well." Clarise's voice sounded like she had a really bad cold.

  "No, I'm okay, Meg."

  "Are you crying then?" If she wasn't sick, then she must have been crying, Megan thought.

  Clarise didn't answer her sister.

  "Clarise, what happened? Have you had a fight with Will? Is that why you didn't pick up his calls?"

  "He called you guys?" Clarise asked with surprise.

  "Yes. He called Rick's phone when he couldn't reach you. He was frantic with worry. He was scared something might have happened to you."

  "Yeah, right," Clarise said sarcastically.

  "Clarise, what happened?" Megan said more insistently.

  Clarise relayed what transpired that afternoon as best as she could. She heard her sister's gasps of shock as she repeated Gina and Karen's conversation. She continued babbling, "He didn't tell me anything about her, Meg. He didn't say he was meeting her in Europe. She was the one who broke up with him. And she's still wearing the engagement ring he gave her. She wants him back!"

  "Clarise, I'm a little confused," Megan said, sounding baffled. "I saw the two of you together last Saturday at mum and dad's. I saw the way he looked at you. He couldn't take his eyes off you. I saw those sweet little touches and gentle caresses he gave you all afternoon."

  "So? Karen said she made a mistake of breaking up with him. Now she's going to Europe to see him!" Clarise said with panic, hurt and anger all rolled into one. Her chest felt so tight she thought she might explode. The thought that she was losing Will was ripping her apart she couldn't think straight. Tears started to fall again profusely.

  Megan was silent as she gathered her thoughts while her sister sobbed softly. While this Karen episode was indeed upsetting, she knew the look of a man in love. And judging from what she saw last Saturday, there was no doubt in her mind that Will was in love with Clarise. Plus, she heard the man on the phone when he rang a few minutes ago. No one would be that frantic with worry from missed phone calls unless he truly cared deeply about the person.

  "Clarise," Megan said gently. "At this moment, you are Will's girlfriend. Karen is still an ex. Sure, Karen might want him back. But the important question is does Will want her back?"

  Clarise stilled at Megan's question. It broke through the dense fog of her fears and tears, making her realise that what Karen wanted wasn't the real issue here, it was what Will wanted. She made an assumption that Will would take Karen back when she came calling. Why did she assume that? She realised she just let her past experience with Nick dictate her reactions again.

  "Has he told you how he feels about you?" Megan asked.

  "Yes," Clarise said as her sobs quietened. "He said he loved me." She remembered her weekend with Will before he left Sydney. She saw the sincerity in his eyes when he told her how he felt about her. Surely that wasn't a lie? Her pain started to ease as hope flared up in her heart.

  "Well, then, don't you think you should talk to Will about this? At least give him a chance to explain?" Megan asked her kindly.

  "Yes, I think I should."

  "Good. Call him right now or he'll just call us back again in a couple of minutes to ask if we've heard from you."

  Right that second, a phone rang in the background.

  "Oops, that's Rick's phone," Megan said. "Darling," she called to Rick. "If that's Will tell him to hang up. Clarise will be calling him in a minute."

  Claris
e heard Rick say 'okay'.

  "Okay, Clarise?" Megan asked her sister quietly.

  "Yes, thank you, Meg."

  "I love you, sis. And please update me after you talk to Will. I'll worry otherwise."

  "I will, darling. I love you too."

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  "Baby, are you okay? I've been worried about you," Will said as he answered his phone on the first ring.