Cold Fear

by Susan Sleeman

  Sorrow flooded her body, and she clutched the back of the chair as a sob escaped. She heard Hannah’s footsteps behind her, and she took a long breath to pull herself together and will her tears away. She wiped her eyes and put on a big smile before heading back into the house. She stood in the living room, her heart ripped open. Unending questions raced through her mind, mingling with regret.

  Leah heard the door, and she turned to see Hannah enter. Leah wished it was Riley. Wished he’d come to comfort her, but he hadn’t. Of course not. It was just business between them. She’d even asked him to keep things that way.

  Hannah didn’t say a word but took one look at Leah and swept her into a hug. “Everything will be okay. I know it will.”

  Hannah’s caring snapped Leah’s tight control, and she couldn’t hold her tears back now. She heard the door open again, and fearing it was one of the children, she came to her senses enough to push back and look up. Riley stood watching her, concern evident in his gaze.

  “Is everything okay?” he asked.

  No, it’s not. Not at all. I need you.

  “I’ll let the two of you talk.” Hannah gave him a pointed look that Leah didn’t understand, but Riley seemed to catch on.

  Hannah left the room, and Leah didn’t know what to say to Riley. She certainly couldn’t share her thoughts on what might’ve been, but right now she wanted to discuss their past more than she ever had.

  Is that you, God? Working on my heart. Trying to change it?

  Riley took a step closer but stopped to watch her carefully. “What’s going on?”

  She pointed at the children through the door. She couldn’t put her feelings into words or she’d really fall apart. She shook her head and started for the powder room on the other side of the foyer.

  He came up next to her and slid his hand in hers to stop her.

  “Tell me.” His tone was gentle and inviting.

  How could he be so kind to her after she walked out on him? He simply was a wonderful man, and he was here, ready to help. Her tears intensified, rolling down her cheeks.

  “I’m just overwhelmed,” she managed to get out.

  “Aw, honey, don’t cry.”

  Honey. She hadn’t heard that endearment in such a long time. Not since they went their separate ways.

  He peered into her eyes, his filled with the honest caring she’d always received from him.

  Oh, Riley, how could I have let you go?

  Her crying ramped up, and she was beyond holding anything back.

  “C’mere,” he said and drew her into his arms. He wrapped them securely around her but held her gently like precious china. She felt like she’d come home after a long absence, and this was where she belonged. She’d missed a man’s touch. No—correction. She’d missed Riley’s touch.

  Neil was the only man she’d dated since Riley. She hadn’t been able to date and keep Owen a secret, but Neil came into her life at a particularly vulnerable time, so she’d given in. Gone out with him for a few weeks. If he hadn’t taken up with Jill, Leah would’ve ended their relationship soon because it could go nowhere with her secret. Her life had been on hold from the moment Riley’s father issued his ultimatum. She didn’t realize how completely and totally the secret affected every bit of her life until now.

  Help me. Please help me.

  Riley drew back and looked her in the eye. “I know we’re not close anymore, but there’s something you’re not telling me and it’s bothering you. I want to help with that. What can I do?”

  There. That was the Riley she loved. An amazing man with a heart of gold all wrapped up in a handsome package that sparked her senses and made her heart swoon.

  She tentatively touched his cheek. “Thank you for asking. It means a lot to me, but I have to work through this on my own.”

  Just like that, his face closed down tight. Like a metal door slammed shut and tightened every muscle into a rock-hard slab.

  She’d done it again. Not physically leaving but emotionally withdrawing, and she was on her own again.

  The way she wanted it, right?

  Usually, she’d think about the stability and security her nest egg had brought. Her reason for leaving him in the first place.

  But thanks to Carolyn, Leah had nothing now. Totally and completely nothing.

  10

  Riley was a fool. Holding Leah like that. The warmth of her body next to his, a closeness he’d had only with her and missed. Her vulnerability and his inability to help her only made him want more. So much more.

  And then what? She turned around and closed him off like slamming a book. Done. Finished. She still didn’t need him. Didn’t want him. Other than to keep her safe. Talk about a gut-ripping pain. One he would have to get over. Just like when she’d walked out.

  But he hadn’t gotten over that, had he? His reaction to having her in his arms again was proof positive. He wanted more of it. A whole lot more.

  Well you can’t have it. Have her. So let it go. Get over it. Do what you always do. Swallow it down and move on.

  He changed the subject. “Did you finish the sketch?”

  She flashed him a surprised look.

  What? Did she think he’d be licking his wounds because she refused to share? Well, she was right. But he was older now. More mature and able to handle her rejection better.

  “No,” she said.

  He tipped his head at the mantle clock. “You wanted to leave for the amphitheater in a half hour.”

  “Then we better finish up.” She stepped around him, giving him a wide berth as she headed to the kitchen.

  He instantly felt the emptiness of the room. What did he do now? Go watch them work on the sketch? Stand here like an idiot and ruminate over what could never be?

  Neither. He would spend more time with Owen until the sketch was finished. He’d fill his heart with joy and build memories to make up for the years he’d missed.

  He found his son on the top of the huge wooden play structure that Riley had helped build. At the time, he’d thought nothing of the size or the height from the ground, but now, seeing his son, his adorable son, a huge drop below him, panic set in, and he charged across the yard.

  “Daddy, look!” Owen plopped onto the slide and whooshed down, bounding to his feet on the ground. His face was alive with joy, and Riley hated to be the bad guy here, but he’d already learned that being a dad meant you had to be the bad guy sometimes.

  “Did you see me?” Owen asked.

  Riley knelt beside him, his heart still thundering in his chest. Craziness. He’d faced down criminals with guns, and yet, he’d never experienced such terror. He brushed Owen’s hair back and took a moment to calm himself so he didn’t come across as demanding and rigid as his father.

  “I saw it was a lot of fun for you, but I need to ask you something.”

  “What, Daddy?”

  Riley had to smile at Owen’s constant use of Daddy. “The play structure is really high. Too high for you, at your age. If you want to go to the top, you need to have a grownup with you. Can you do that for me?”

  He frowned. “David and Mia don’t need anyone.”

  “They’re older than you. Bekah is another friend you’ll meet soon. She’s closer to your age, and I know her mom won’t let her climb up alone. Maybe you could play with her when Mia and David are on the top. Or even play with Barkley.” He pointed at the puppy who was sleeping in the shade.

  “Barkley!” Owen’s eyes lit up, and he started to run off.

  Riley caught hold of him. “You promise not to go up high without a grownup?”

  “Promise.”

  Riley kissed his forehead.

  “I love you, Daddy.”

  Riley’s heart burst with happiness.

  “I love you too, Son.” Riley released him. Owen bolted across the yard and scooped up a bewildered Barkley who recovered quickly and licked Owen’s face. Owen giggled and dropped to the grass to wrestle with the puppy.

 
Satisfied that he’d handled that well, Riley got up. His phone rang, and he spotted Eryn’s name on the screen. He answered and headed for the house to keep the kids from overhearing his conversation.

  “I’ve got an update for you on leahfan,” Eryn said.

  Riley closed the door behind him but kept an eye on Owen. “What do you have?”

  “My algorithm found comments he made in several places on the Internet. From them, I can tell you he’s thirty-six. Lives alone in an apartment. Is very opinionated about current politics and leans toward the conservative right. And he claims to be a Christian, but he’s interpreting the Bible to fit his views. He’s not a vegetarian, and he despises people who are. He’s single but is desperately seeking a mate. He likes blondes. In fact, it looks like’s he obsessed with them. He mentions Leah often, only by her first name, which is interesting, but he most always talks about her hair.”

  Riley stood in awe of Eryn’s work. “It’s amazing the profile you can create from people on the Internet. Freaky actually.”

  “It’s why most law enforcement officers refuse to use social media.”

  And Riley was one of them. “Jill was a blonde. Coincidence?”

  “Maybe, or maybe the stalker saw Jill performing with Leah and because he couldn’t get to Leah, Jill’s a substitute. And adding the tattoo satisfies something in him. Or maybe because he can’t get to Leah, the tattoo is his way of saying he loves her.”

  “Sounds possible, but first he would have to know where Jill was, and she hasn’t performed with Leah in a while. But say he tracked her somehow, he would’ve had to get backstage to kill her. That would be a challenge. Couldn’t he just have waited for her to exit and try to abduct her, or kill her, or whatever he wants to do with her?”

  “Stalkers or murderers don’t always think logically.”

  “Say we’re right and Leah’s stalker is the killer,” Riley said, though he wasn’t fully convinced. “What’s our next step in finding him?”

  “I reviewed his Twitter account, and he’s obviously obsessed with her. At first the tweets are gushing and quite beautiful, but then as time passes and Leah doesn’t return his love, they get uglier and uglier until he threatens her. In case Blake hasn’t had anyone review it, I compiled a report so he can get a warrant for the account holder.”

  “I’m sure he appreciates that, as do I.”

  Leah stepped into the room and handed a sketch to Riley.

  “Hold on a sec,” he said to Eryn and looked at the guy’s bald head, wide nose, and a thick goatee. His eyes were narrowed in a glare. That tough exterior fit with a man who would be willing to stalk a woman. And just looking at him made Riley’s blood boil. He had to find this creep and do it now.

  He turned his attention back to Eryn’s call. “What’re the odds that the account holder’s information will be legitimate?”

  “Not high, but there’s often something to be learned even when false details are given to open an account. Problem is, I don’t think Blake will share that information with us, so it’s a dead end for me.”

  Riley resisted going off on an anger-filled tangent. “I hope he realizes with Leah’s life on the line that sharing with you could be the very thing that stops this stalker before he kills again.”

  From the moment Riley stepped into the amphitheater, he had his hands full. He’d started by meeting with Sal and Alex to get security set. Then while Sal moved his men into place, and Alex determined the best location for the Blackwell team to take a stand during the concert, Riley interviewed Leah’s staff.

  What a bust. They didn’t know anything about the photo. Not a single thing. They could be lying, Riley supposed, but he was a good judge of character, and he believed them.

  Now he stood on stage, his focus on the empty amphitheater watching for threats while Leah did soundchecks with her band. Eryn sat on a stool in the middle of the action, her usual intense focus absent as she listened to the music.

  Riley had to admit he was surprised by her behavior. It was so out of character for the strong, independent woman he’d known for years. But then everyone had a side to them that they didn’t show on a regular basis. Case in point, his issues with his father. No one but Leah knew about that and how deeply it affected Riley. But now that he had a son, Riley would work hard to let that go so he could be a great father.

  Leah’s song ended, and Eryn clapped liked the rabid fan she was.

  Leah smiled at Eryn. “It’s so sweet of you to encourage us.”

  “Just wait until the concert. I’ll show you what encouragement looks like.” Eryn wrinkled her nose.

  Leah chuckled and turned to the band. “Okay, everyone, let’s run though the closing number. We botched it a bit last night.”

  Riley hadn’t noticed, but then he’d been too busy staring at Leah and watching for the stalker. And he wouldn’t be listening much tonight either. He had to focus better. Not on Leah. He’d been doing plenty of that. No, he had to keep his eyes on the crowd. On the building. On the shadows and stay one step ahead of any danger.

  Sudden movement across the stage caught his attention, and he reached for his sidearm. Sal strode out of the shadows and crossed behind the musicians heading Riley’s direction. Riley blew out a breath and let go of the butt of his gun. But he didn’t relax. Sal had purpose to his steps. Hopefully that didn’t mean bad news.

  “We’re as ready as we can be,” Sal announced the moment he stopped in front of Riley, his tone raised above the music. “Metal detectors are in place and the additional staff I’ve contracted will search all bags. Fans are going to grumble, but no one will get a gun inside the amphitheater.”

  Riley nodded his thanks. “Leah’s going to hate inconveniencing her fans, but I just saw that the murder has spread on social media, so they’re going to know the reason soon.”

  “And that will make our job harder as curiosity seekers are going to come out in droves and clog the area around the building.”

  “Sheriff Jenkins is setting up a perimeter, and his deputies will keep them off the property.”

  Sal didn’t look convinced.

  “Hey, I get that you’re concerned. You think we’re just small-town hicks. But I’ve served on a city police force, and I put Sheriff Jenkins and his men on the same professional level.”

  “I’ll have to trust you on that.” Sal narrowed his eyes against the sun beating down on the stage. “And your team. When are they arriving?”

  Riley glanced at his watch. “Thirty minutes or so. Which is in plenty of time to clear and lock down the entire facility before the concert starts.”

  “Perfect. I’ve got a few more details to take care of, and then I’ll join you all in the final sweep.” Sal strode away as fast as he’d arrived.

  The music ended, and Riley shifted his focus to Leah.

  She faced her band. “Okay, just a reminder. We’ll open tonight with a brief announcement about Jill and then run the slideshow Gabby put together to honor her. I’ll step to the side and you’ll accompany it with the medley of her favorite songs. Then I’ll say something else, we’ll dim the lights for a moment of silence, and slowly move into the concert. Any questions?”

  “Yeah,” the drummer called out. “Don’t you think this is going to be a real downer for the fans?”

  Leah didn’t respond for a moment. “I’m usually all about the fans, but Jill deserves our respect, and I’m going to give it to her. Hopefully I can do it in a way that the audience can understand.”

  A woman in the back scoffed.

  Leah eyed her. “You have something to say, Jaz?”

  The woman with long hair dyed the color of black ink stepped forward. “Just that you and Jill didn’t exactly part as friends. So why do this? Seems hypocritical.”

  Leah lifted her shoulders into a hard line. “I’m not disputing that Jill and I had our differences. She made a mistake. We all do, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve our respect.” Leah’s chin went up as if da
ring Jaz to argue, but the woman gave a clipped nod and stepped back.

  Leah clapped her hands. “Okay, then. Let’s get dressed and despite the somber opening, give these fans what they came for. Are you with me?”

  The group grumbled a yes.

  “No. That won’t do. Are you with me?” Her voice went up and she kept at it until the group was pumped and eager.

  Riley was impressed with her ability to fire up her band much like she brought a crowd to their feet. She’d always been an amazing entertainer where he was merely adequate. She’d told him she’d learned how to perform on cold, dreary, hungry nights in her room when she needed to take her mind off her world. She would become someone else, and for those moments, live a happy life. And she’d also said she performed most every day of her school life, pretending that barbs and insults about their poverty didn’t sting.

  He’d wanted to make up for that somehow. She always felt less than others, and he’d tried to make sure she knew that no one person was better than another. All people sinned. All people had moments when they were ugly to others. All people hurt the ones they loved at times. But that was the beauty of God’s grace. He showered His love on everyone, even when they didn’t measure up or messed up badly. He cared about each person’s heart, not outward circumstances. They didn’t define a person in God’s eyes, and Leah shouldn’t define herself by them, either.

  And now, she’d risen above this difficult situation and was still determined to do her job to the best of her abilities. And he was determined to make sure she was free to do so without coming to harm.

  She turned and started his way, locking gazes with him. Her feelings for Jill’s loss burned intently in her eyes. He knew her genuine emotions would shine through when she spoke to the fans tonight as she acknowledged Jill’s loss, and they would be with Leah.

  “Ready?” she asked, her voice breathy and tears glistening in her eyes.