THE SIDECHICK CHRONICLES
VOL. 1: Secrets
I choose to love you in silence, for in silence there was no rejection, no hurt, no right or wrong. I choose to love you in my dreams, for in my dreams no one owns you but me…....
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© 2015 King Publishing Group
© 2015 Shadress Denise
All rights reserved. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without express writer permission from the author/publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual events, real people, living or dead, or to the real locals are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places, and
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Prologues
Destiny
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Constance
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Mariah
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Aryelle
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Constance
Chapter 5
Mariah
Chapter 5
Aryelle
Chapter 5
Destiny
Chapter 5
Mariah
Chapter 6
Aryelle
Chapter 6
Constance
Chapter 6
THE CHURCH GIRL
"I've watched you grow up. I've been waiting for you to be prepared for me. No matter what; you can trust me. I will always be here for you. I love you and no one will ever love you like I do. I prayed about you, and God told me you we're going to be my wife..."
Call me naive if you want, I don't care. As God as my witness, I believed him then and I believe him now. He is everything to me. He is powerful, well-respected and has God's favor on his life. I sit and reflect on how wonderful these past two years have been with him. I look at him and I am in awe.
His voice is so inspiring.
I grew up in this place and it will always be home to me. I feel honored that out of every woman here, he chose me. We are soulmates and once he gets his divorce; we're going to be together forever. He's told me time and time again… God has confirmed we will be together.
So why wouldn't I believe him?
At 23 years old, I am just beginning to form my relationship with God. He's been mentoring me in that area. I know God speaks to everyone because he is God. Though, just listening to him shows me how he gives him a special message. Last night, we spent the evening at the hotel together. We have such a spiritual connection.
His eyes are like the windows to heaven.
His smiles could heal a multitude of souls.
He was so experienced and he guided me through everything as we made love. I remember the night I gave him my virginity. It was a magical night I would never forget. Now I feel I am more experienced, more in tuned with my spirit. At first, I thought we were doing wrong. After a few times, he assured me we were okay. He told me since he was going to be my husband; I could give my body to him.
I can feel him inside of me even when we are apart. Our souls are forever intertwined. I know that it is my destiny to become the 1st Lady of Mount Temple Missionary Baptist Church. I can't wait to be married to the one and only Reverend Laurence Bishop.
These past two years were simply the foundation to the adventure I know we will soon embark on.
THE BABY MOMMA
"No matter who I'm with, you will always be number one. We share a child and no other woman will ever take your place. She and I are having trouble right now. I realize I don't want to be with her anymore, so I'm leaving. I've decided I'm ready to be with you. We are meant to be and all of these ups and downs are proof of that..."
I had him first. His heart belongs to me and for reasons no one will ever understand; he will always belong to me. We have a family and despite the fact the fact he married her, our child will always be what binds us. I have always loved him and these past 20 years have been a roller coaster ride for us. Some of the drama has been my fault and some his. No matter what, we are soul mates.
I broke his heart because he broke mine.
All of the in between, back and forth moments have led us to this point. Yes, he married her. Yes, he turned his back on me, on us and this family. In an ordinary situation that would be a deal breaker, but all of that doesn't matter. This is his real home. Home is where the heart is. His heart is here with me. I have his child and whether she realizes it, I will always be number one.
She's spoken her piece.
I've spoken mine.
In the end she knows the truth.
The nights he spends here gives me hope. It constantly reminds me we are truly meant to be. In the beginning, he wouldn't stay for days, only a few hours. He would up and leave in the middle of the night, and I wasn't having that. Now we hold each other at night like a couple should. Marrying her was an act of spite to piss me off.
I hurt him to the core and he wanted to top that hurt.
So here we are, living in a world of in between and maybe one day. I should end it and walk away. My sisters have screamed it; my friends have damn near beat me over the head about it. The truth is, we have 20 years of love and history. I have his child and forever don't last always if there is no real substance within it. When he's tired of running, it will eventually be my turn again.
Until then he has my heart, but I will keep a little something on the side.
THE FIRST LADY
"We're all saints who sin. No one is perfect. We are all born with imperfections. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves versus someone else. I know that two wrongs don't make a right, but I'm fed up with his antics. I don't believe in divorce and I have a public image to uphold. I figure since I'm stuck here, I might as well enjoy being pleasured as well..."
I sit here and stare at him while everyone stares at me. We have 13 years together and you would never know I am disguising a broken heart. I love him. I despise him. Over time there has been so much damage causing this separation between us. I don't know if it was the affair that started our downward spiral or the countless church events I grow tired of attending. I just want to be a regular married couple. I miss what we used to be. I ponder on if we can ever be those people again.
I know everyone at the church watches our nonverbal communication. So I have to pretend to be head over heels for the sake of who we are to the congregation.
I turn in the other direction to look at him.
I smile.
He is my lover. I know what we're doing is not right. I know it is a sin. Somehow, he has managed to heal my broken heart. Lately, he has ignited a passion so real I forget I’m a married woman. I have prayed over and over again, trying to be freed from this drug I call pleasure.
Part of me knows I should stop. The other part needs this to remain sane. My husband has no idea of my affair. I'm not sure why when I think about it. There is a possibility he could have another mistress again.
On the other hand, he's so consumed with his newfound fame he figures I am just playing the role of the supportive wife. Regardless of which he may be involved with there's no way I can leave.
I am the 1st Lady of Mount Temple Missionary Baptist Church.
I took vows and although I am violating them, my husband has my heart.
THE EDUCATED GIRLFRIEND
"I want to have sex with your words. I want to bang your brain. My insides quivers from your touch as your linguistics tantalize the heat from within. Your fingerprints leave traces of evidence that passion was felt. Our rapidly beating hearts proves that ecstasy was explored and pleasure ruled as we found ourselves lost in the depths of our moans. The fire burns so hot the very touch you place upon my skin ignites a blaze unable to be contained. Your breath falls on my neck leaving remnants of how you taste. I swallow pieces of your soul and at that moment, I feel like we are one......"
Ever wonder if this could be you?
Did you ever think you could fall for someone who said things like this to you?
These words, his words played in my mind over and over again. Made me question my morals, standards, and even the way I was raised. Every day I fought this daily battle I knew deep down was self-destructive. I was your all American girl. I grew up in a two parent household, middle class neighborhood and attended really great schools. I graduated at the top of my class in both undergrad and grad school. I pledged DST and at this point I would consider myself very successful. I belonged to a few community organizations and I was a well-known Public Relations professional.
I even attended church every Sunday and had a very close relationship with God. Sadly, none of that matters when it comes to this situation. I have learned that all of these accolades are irrelevant. They have no merit when it comes to feelings or better yet, the heart.
See the thing is; I have a dark secret.
A secret that on the surface you would never guess I could even have. Why you ask? Well, it’s because I don't fit the typical ghetto persona that sometimes embodies this position. I come from a great background so no one, and I mean no one would ever think that the daughter of a well-respected doctor and law professor who have been married for almost 40 years could wear the label that is used so loosely these days.
The thing is; I've been in a relationship with my boss for a year and a half. Despite our situation, I'm in love with him. Unfortunately, I don't think we will ever be a forever kind of thing. I found out the most disturbing news about him. I should walk away, cut all ties and move on with my life. Sadly, it’s not that easy. As women we're all the same when it comes to dealing with toxic love relationships.
The heart wants what it wants.
Your body feeds off the ecstasy its being given.
Your soul is connected to the core of his being.
We all have a story as to how we find ourselves in these situations. A story as to why we can't walk away at the very moment we find out. My story may be different from yours, but the outcome is still the same.
Welcome to the Side Chick Chronicles…
Destiny
1
"You are so full of shit and it’s so not funny anymore!"
I was so pissed at him I couldn't fight back the tears. We had 20 years together. The last ten of them were full of constant bullshit, lies and drama. Part of me knew I should walk away from this constant heartbreak cycle he seemed to put me through. Unfortunately, I loved him and that was my problem. We were high school sweethearts. The Byron I knew then was not the Byron I loved now.
"Des; please calm down and let me explain," he said.
I looked at him because I was far beyond the point of calm. I was tired of this situation and I was definitely tired of his ass. I should've ended this the day he told me he had been in a relationship with another woman and they were engaged to be married. At the time, all I could do was swing on him. I was angry, hurt and heartbroken. I felt all that we had been through he would think not to do me like this. We had a beautiful daughter together. We had history. So to throw all of that away because he couldn't get over the fact that I cheated on him when he cheated first was beyond me.
I believe his actual words were, "I could forgive you if it was just simply cheating. I hate that we are at this point. You are pregnant and I cannot look at another man's child for the rest of my life."
Not his child, another man's child.
Another secret, I thought.
"Byron, save me your false sense of caring bullshit. I don't want to hear it anymore. You come here and feed me the same lies every damn week. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of you!"
He looked stunned.
He had seen me pissed and even hurt. He had never seen me emotionally broken and mentally exhausted. Twenty years with a person who constantly placed you on an emotional roller coaster was too much. There was too much damage to fix. I was at an end with him. I knew I needed to cut these ties for the sake of my sanity. Plus, I knew I needed to be a better example for my daughters.
I loved him though.
He had my soul in the palm of his right hand and my heart in his left.
"Des, I love you. Believe me when I say I'm leaving her. I just need you to give me until I get back from this trip.
I rolled my eyes.
There was always a need for a little more time.
Always one more trip to come back from.
It had been ten years’ worth of one more times.
2
"So who's keeping you company on your trip this time, your wife?" I asked. I knew it sounded like I had an attitude. I didn’t care because I did.
"No she’s a business colleague. We're just going to close this deal and that's it. It’s not a big deal, nothing special and strictly professional."
"I'm sure it is," I replied sarcastically.
I knew better. He wouldn’t know professional if it was tattooed on his forehead. He stepped closer to me.
"Baby you are the only woman I love. You have had my heart since we were 17 years old. You have my daughter and as soon as I get her to sign these papers, we will finally be together."
He had never brought up papers. He was blabbering about leaving her and no real action to follow. Maybe this time he was serious. He seemed to have put all of his anger surrounding Karter aside. Maybe this time we really were going to be a family.
I rubbed my hand up his arm over the tattoo of my name. A spontaneous date night we will never forget. The things you do when you are young, foolish and in love. At one time he'd threatened to get it removed when I broke his heart. I knew he would never do it though.
We were soul mates.
Connected and intertwined in places his wife Valentine could never be in. Yes they were married, but that was just a paperwork issue.
"Byron I have no more room in my heart for you to come in and then leave again. I want a real relationship. I want to be with you. I don’t want to just be your baby mama anymore."
"Baby what did I tell you about saying baby mama? I hate that term. You are so much more than a baby mama to me. I promise I won't hurt you anymore. We are going to be together once she signs the papers."
There goes that papers lie again. Sometimes I felt he told that divorce lie to keep me from filing child support papers on him. The only reason why I didn’t jam him up was because he took care of his daughter.
"You don't even have any papers. This is yet another lie you came here to tell me again."
I was getting pissed all over again. I was no stranger to heartbreak and a regular member in the drama club thanks to him. I started backing up because I felt like I was going to hit him again. We had moments in the past where I had put my hands on him. He never hit me back and I promised him I would never do it again. Youth and raw emotions were a dangerous combination.
"Why are you backing up Destiny?"
My eyes started to get watery again.
"I think you should go. I need time to think and I can't think when you're
here. We need some time apart. Maybe we should chill for a few weeks. You should take some time to yourself and I'll do the same. It will give you a chance to really think about where you want to be.”
He had a puzzled look on his face. Like he couldn't comprehend what I was saying. He stepped away from me and walked over to his briefcase. I wasn't sure what he was going to grab so I put a little more distance between us. A sistah could never be too careful. Men were taking out their girlfriends on a regular these days. He pulled out some paperwork and walked back over to me.
Sidechick Chronicles Page 1
