That Summer (Part One)

by Lauren Crossley

  However, even the knowledge that I have Lisa by my side as we make our way through the main entrance is not enough to extinguish my overwhelming fear building up inside my chest. I still haven’t told my best friend about Cole’s late night visit, nor have I told her anything else about the indescribable feelings I now have for him. I will do so eventually but for now, I’m more than happy to keep quiet and cherish my little secret for a while longer.

  “Are you sure you’re going to be ok?” She asks, linking her arm through mine as we make our way through the busy hallway towards our lockers.

  “I’m sure. I know I might be the centre of all the gossip going on today but it’s bound to be old news by tomorrow, right?” I speak optimistically, feigning confidence and positivity.

  “Of course it will be. Everything will be forgotten about by tomorrow.”

  Lisa offers me a weak smile. It’s obvious that she’s uncertain but is choosing to remain bright and cheerful for my sake. She takes hold of my hand and squeezes it tightly, assuring me that she will be waiting for me in the cafeteria at lunchtime. Her first class is in the opposite direction to mine and she has to hurry if she wants to make it on time.

  I’m left alone and make my way to my locker, struggling to keep my head held high. I know I have nothing to be ashamed of for what happened yesterday, I just wish that everyone else felt the same way. I truly believe that no matter what she does, a woman cannot win. If she enjoys sex and has it freely, she is called a slut. If she chooses to remain a virgin, then she is known as being frigid. If a woman chooses to flirt, she is labelled as a tease and if she decides to turn someone down… she’s a bitch.

  No matter what we do… we cannot win. We are disrespected and ridiculed for the same actions that men are applauded for. It’s an unfair world and it still remains unequal… maybe now more than ever.

  I approach my locker with caution, fighting back the tears when my eyes land on the graffiti that now resides on it. Someone got there first and decided to carve the word ‘slut’ and ‘whore’ right across the front of it. The ugly, vile letters stare back at me, unforgiving and cruel.

  A crowd of people have now gathered around me, some of them seem to be just as shocked as I am when they notice the way my locker has been vandalised whilst others start to laugh and whisper amongst themselves maliciously.

  I quickly realise that I have two options. I can panic and flee, removing myself from the excruciating situation I have come to find myself in or I can stay and fight. I can open my locker, deposit my things and make my way to my next class.

  I choose option two.

  The rest of my day is beyond painful. I am stared at and discussed everywhere I go. The girls glower at me and the guys throw disgusting insults at me as I walk by them. I daren’t even go to the toilet by myself in case I get cornered by a group of girls once I’m in there. I’m desperate to talk to Lisa but haven’t seen her all day and know I must wait until dinner time until I can converse with her properly.

  It’s the same with Cole. He’s nowhere to be seen even though everyone is talking about him and what he did to Jonathan. Half of the rumours I’ve managed to overhear are absolutely ridiculous and if I caught a glimpse of Cole in person, I could maybe start to laugh them off but until then… I can’t find any of this funny. He told me he would come and find me, he also promised me that no one would say anything hurtful to me and I truly believed him. I was so nervous coming into school this morning but part of me found comfort in the fact that I trusted Cole and knew he wouldn’t turn his back on me and leave me to deal with this by myself. I can’t help from wondering what has happened to him and I’m actually starting to wonder if I’ll ever see him again. He might have been kicked out of school already or Jonathan could have changed his mind and decided to press charges after all. Cole could have been arrested already. I despair at the thought of this and barely have the strength to get through the rest of my day.

  It’s right before lunch when I’m called into the Principal’s office. Everyone in my class watches me gather up my books and leave the room and a string of spiteful comments follow me as I close the door behind me.

  I try my best to keep calm as I head towards the Headmaster’s office. I’ve never been summoned like this before and I find it difficult to put one foot in front of the other as I head towards his office.

  “Come in.” A masculine voice calls out as soon as I knock on the door.

  I open it with trepidation, stepping into the large office. Our Principal who I have only seen in person a couple of times welcomes me with a warm smile.

  “Serena, place take a seat. I would like a word with you in private.”

  “Ok…”

  “There’s no need to look so fearful. You’re not in trouble.” He assures me, pointing towards the vacant chair opposite his desk.

  I take a seat and clasp my hands together, struggling to gain control over my erratic breathing.

  “I know this is about Cole and what he did to Jonathan yesterday.”

  “That’s right.” He confirms, pausing for a moment. “I’ve already spoken to Cole this morning and he’s told me his version of what happened. Jonathan is still in hospital and is clearly not up for talking right now, which I completely understand. What I need to know now is your own account for what took place. I know there are a lot of rumours circulating but I’m not interested in gossip. I need to know the truth.”

  I moisten my lips and nod my head, mentally preparing myself for what is about to follow.

  “I decided to go home early yesterday afternoon because I wasn’t feeling very well and Jonathan… followed me in his car. He parked up the road and caught up with me. He started harassing me and said some terrible things. He even tried to shove me inside his car. He kissed me and forced himself on me. Cole turned up just in time. H-he saved me. He stopped Jonathan from hurting me.”

  “I see.” My Principal replies, scribbling something down on the notebook in front of him. “And how did he stop him?

  “Well, he told him to leave me alone.”

  “I don’t think Jonathan is in hospital right now because Cole simply told him to leave you alone.” He retorts harshly, narrowing his eyes at me.

  He must only be in his mid-thirties but he carries such a pompous air of authority about him, he appears to be much older. He is someone I could never open up to or confide in. Not ever.

  “I didn’t stick around to see anything else. Cole told me to go home and that’s exactly what I did. I was terrified.”

  “Of Cole?”

  “No! Of Jonathan.” I exclaim indignantly. “Cole helped me.”

  “You do realise how serious this is, Serena?” He asks me condescendingly, tapping his fountain pen against the surface of his desk.

  “Of course I do but I also have to be honest. I’m not condoning what Cole did. It was wrong and I wish it never happened to Jonathan but I also know that he was trying to protect me. I don’t even want to think about what might have happened to me if Cole hadn’t been there to stop him.”

  “The police are no longer involved in the matter because Jonathan has decided not to press charges against Cole. This is now a school matter and I promise you that I will not leave a single stone unturned when it comes to finding out the truth. I am determined to find out exactly what happened and once Jonathan returns to school, I will make sure I hear his version of events as well as yours and Cole’s. For now, you are free to go.”

  He dismisses me so rudely, I have to clench my fists to stop myself from saying something I know I’m going to regret to this idiotic man.

  “What about Cole? Has he been excluded?”

  “I cannot discuss another student with you Serena. You are free to go.”

  I stand up and turn my back on him, eager to get the hell away from his stuffy office and his judgemental stare.

  “I think you should know that someone has vandalised my locker. I would appreciate it if you could provide me with a ne
w one for the time being before my own is cleaned.”

  And with that I slam the door behind me, wiping away my angry tears which begin to fall as soon as I’m out of sight. I can’t believe I actually thought that fool could help me. I even considered opening up to him about everything that’s been going on at school this past year. Of course that was before I actually conversed with him, before I realised what a useless Principal he is. For now, I am so thankful I chose to say nothing. I’m certain that if I had told him all about the bullying I’ve been the victim of for so long, he would have only blamed me. If he found out about the photo I had sent… he would have judged me like everyone else in this Godforsaken place.

  I don’t even know if he’s going to do anything about my locker. I really wouldn’t be surprised if he just ignores it and leaves that hideous word carved across it. It’s not like he called me back to ask me any more questions about it.

  I’m standing right outside the cafeteria when the bell goes, announcing the start of lunch. The hallways are still empty seeing as the majority of people are still holed up in their classes. Deciding to take a chance, I make a dash down the corridor and fling the door open to the girl’s toilets. This might be my one and only opportunity to venture in here all day and I don’t plan on wasting it.

  Thank goodness it’s empty. I breathe a sigh of relief and take a look in one of the mirrors above the sink. My complexion is pale and I have dark circles underneath my eyes. I must have only had a couple of hours sleep and the exhaustion that I’m experiencing right now is beyond debilitating.

  I close my eyes and try to focus on my breathing, hoping for a sense of calm to enfold me so I can find the strength to carry on with the rest of my day. When I open them I gasp, now face to face with someone standing behind me.

  Louise.

  She’s blonde, curvaceous, has blue eyes and is one of the most popular girls in school. She’s also one of the cruellest. She’s an individual who decided to make my life a living hell since my photo was leaked and seemed to enjoy witnessing my misery and isolation. She also looks a lot like the girl I found Cole with at Stacey’s party. I guess blondes with hourglass figures must be his type after all, the complete and utter opposite of my own appearance.

  Louise is now glaring at my reflection, narrowing her eyes in contempt as she looks me up and down.

  “What do you want, Louise?”

  I turn around to face her, preparing myself for the vicious and verbal attack that is bound to follow.

  “Don’t speak my name, slut. We’re not friends, we’ve never been friends and we’re certainly not going to be now.”

  “That’s absolutely fine. Can I go now?” I attempt to move around her towards the exit but she stops me, grabbing hold of my arm before she spins me around and slaps me. Hard.

  The sting her hand left behind is painful. It’s really sore and flares up within seconds. I long to press my own hand against it to try and stop the pain but know that if I do so, she will see it as a sign of weakness.

  “I don’t know who you think you are, you stuck up little bitch. You’re no better than the rest of us and yet you walk around this school with your head held high. You are nothing. You’re a worthless little whore who sends naked pictures of herself and that’s all there is to it. You need to stay away from Cole. I don’t know how you’ve managed to make him feel sorry for you but it stops right now, do you understand? He doesn’t want to know you, he doesn’t even care.” She snarls bitterly, squeezing my arms until I wince from the pain.

  “If you truly believed that… you wouldn’t be threatening me right now.” I remind her.

  I wish I could take it back as soon as I’ve said it. The murderous gleam in her eyes is enough to scare me and at this point I realise that I am willing to do or say anything to get the hell away from her.

  “I’m threatening you so there can be no misunderstanding between us. Cole is mine. He’s not interested in you or anyone else.” She pauses for a moment and then smiles spitefully. “We had sex on Sunday night and he couldn’t get enough of me. How does that make you feel?”

  I quickly realise that Louise must have been the girl that Cole told me about last night. The girl he was with when he called out my name. God… no wonder she despises me. I can’t even imagine how humiliating and insulting it must have been for her and even though I don’t like Louise as a person, a part of me does feel sorry for her.

  “Louise… I’m sorry.” I whisper, lowering my gaze.

  “Why the hell would you be sorry?” She snaps, shaking me roughly.

  “Because I… I know that…” I trail off, tempted to say what I know but deciding against it at the last moment.

  She doesn’t need to know that I know the truth. I don’t want to be vindictive and if I inform her about what I know… that’s exactly what I would be.

  “You know what?” She demands harshly.

  She really does look worried. That confident and brazen expression on her face has vanished and it’s been replaced by concern and doubt.

  “I know that Cole should be with someone like you. You’re everything I’m not and I promise not to come between you two anymore. Cole just felt sorry for me, that’s all it was. He stopped Jonathan from hurting me but that’s all there is to it.”

  I can scarcely believe the words which are coming out of my mouth. I’m not even sure if I believe them or not, all I care about is leaving here in one piece. Nothing else matters.

  She moistens her lips and nods her head, appearing pleased.

  “Good. I don’t want to have to have this conversation with you again. Watch your back, slut. I’ll be watching.”

  She grabs hold of my chin, forcing me to look up at her. Her blue eyes are piercing and seem to be able to see right through me. I try to keep my mind blank, just in case she can read my thoughts. The thoughts I have about Cole.

  What she does next amazes me. She reaches in her bag and pulls out her pink lip-gloss, evenly applying it in the mirror which is now behind me.

  “Cole loves this lip-gloss.” She says seductively, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. “He said it tastes so sweet on his lips but not as sweet as me, if you know what I mean. He couldn’t get enough of it and who was I to deny him?”

  My eyes widen and I can’t breathe, picturing Cole and her together and in such an intimate way is crucifying. I’ve never experience pain like it and I don’t know whether I should claw her eyes out or throw up.

  Louise walks out before I have chance to decide between the two. I’m left alone in the girl’s bathroom, fighting back my tears and gasping for air. I can’t help from wondering if I have been the world’s greatest idiot. Maybe even Cole is laughing at me. Last night could have been one big joke to him, a disgusting prank orchestrated by him and his friends to humiliate me even more.

  I was a fool to think that he would be here to protect me. I let my guard down and allowed myself to become vulnerable. I make a vow that I will not make that mistake again… from now on the only person I’m going to take care of is myself. Everyone but Lisa can go to hell, especially Cole.

  I managed to make it into the cafeteria just in time. Lisa was waiting for me with an anxious expression on her face, scanning the crowd for me. I briefly told her about my altercation with Louise in the toilets, failing to mention the fact that Cole had already told me about the night he spent with her when he called out my name. I’m incredibly embarrassed and uncomfortable when it comes to talking about it any further and decided to try and put the whole thing behind me.

  Lisa and I ate our lunch together before we went off to our separate classes. She was furious about the way I had been treated by the Principal as well as the students and threatened to destroy anyone who made a single comment about me. This made me smile because I could not imagine Lisa being violent towards anyone. She’s far too gentle and kind-hearted.

  I somehow manage to get through the rest of my day, avoiding the jealous groups of girls who
seem to be wherever I go, whispering and gossiping in front of me as though my actual presence isn’t important to them. By the time the final bell goes, I cannot wait to get out of here. I feel as though I’m slowly suffocating inside these walls and need to be outside so I can get some fresh air inside my lungs.

  I made plans to meet Lisa outside the main entrance where we will head over to her car so she can give me a lift home. At lunchtime she managed to convince me that we should hang out later on tonight, watching movies and sharing popcorn. At first I didn’t know whether I would be in the right mood or not but finally acquiesced and agreed. Lisa has been such an amazing friend to me, the least I can do is spend a girly evening with her.

  Because of the victimisation I’ve experienced all day, I decide to hide out in an empty classroom until the majority of people have gone home. It’s absolute bliss to be able to walk through the empty hallways without being on the receiving end of pointed looks and venomous remarks. It’s enough to convince me that I should stay behind every night this week just so I can get to my locker in peace. Nothing has been done about what’s written on it and I can only wait and see if I’ll be provided with a new one by tomorrow.

  Lisa is waiting for me at the entrance with a smile on her face. I already told her about my decision to stay behind, desperate to avoid everyone and she was more than happy to wait for me. Like I said, she’s the best friend I could ever ask for and I will never go a single day without appreciating everything she has done for me.

  “Is asking you how you are a stupid question?” She smiles weakly, nudging me in a playful manner.

  “It’s not stupid and I guess I’m feeling… tired. I feel as though I could sleep for an entire month and still feel exhausted.” I yawn, joining her as we slowly head across the carpark towards Lisa’s car.