That Summer (Part One)

by Lauren Crossley

  “You have a huge fucking cut on your arm and I can tell you’ve been bleeding. I want to know who the hell did that to you and you better tell me right now. You don’t have a choice.”

  “No one has done anything to me, I promise.” I assure him, gazing up at him in earnest.

  “Was it her?” He fires back at me, pointing in the direction of my mum’s bedroom. “Was it that bitch still sleeping through there? Did she do this to you? Does she hurt you?”

  “No! Please listen to me, Cole. My mum has never hurt me, she wouldn’t.”

  “So tell me who did it! Your arm is covered in scratches and you have a deep cut. You need to tell me what happened.”

  I remain silent, despising myself for being so stupid. How could I allow myself to fall asleep next to him and not think about him seeing this? I only have myself to blame even if I genuinely forgot about it last night once the cut on my arm stopped bleeding. I simply tried to erase it from my mind, promising myself I would never, ever do it to myself again.

  “I did it.” I finally confess, unable to meet his gaze.

  “You?” Cole states in disbelief.

  “I didn’t mean to cut myself, I really didn’t… it’s just something I do sometimes to make myself feel better.”

  “Are you telling me you self-harm?”

  “No!” I protest firmly, jumping to my feet so I can put some distance between us. Cole remains standing, glowering at me across the room.

  “If you’ve done this more than once then that’s exactly what you do! How can you not see that?”

  “But I haven’t done it in weeks.”

  “So why did you do it last night?”

  “I…I had to.”

  “Why?” He demands roughly, striding across the room towards me.

  “I had a row with my mum and then she told me about my dad who wants to come and see me soon. I couldn’t handle it anymore and just… did it.”

  “Jesus, Serena…” He sighs deeply, resting his hands against the window sill behind me.

  My small frame is now confined by his arms on either side of me, almost making me feel trapped as he closes his eyes and lowers his head.

  “I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”

  “I had no fucking idea you would do something like this.” He admits, shaking his head in dismay.

  “Cole, you’re blowing it out of proportion. I’m not like those people who do it all the time and I’ve never taken it that far before.”

  “What do you use?” He asks abruptly, gazing at me coldly.

  “Cole, please.”

  “Tell me, Serena.”

  “I used a pair of scissors.”

  “And where are they now?”

  “Why do you need to know that?”

  “So I can get rid of them. No way am I going to let you keep them after what I just found out. How could I trust you?”

  “Don’t say that.” I beg him.

  “I just don’t understand how the hell I missed this, how didn’t I notice and how could I be so stupid? Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

  His anger and frustration increases once again as I watch him tear himself apart over something he had absolutely no control over. He’s blaming himself for something which isn’t his fault, something he had no idea about and something only I can take responsibility for.

  “I hadn’t done it in weeks before last night, you have to believe me.”

  “When was the last time?”

  “You mean before last night?”

  “Yes.” He growls fiercely, clenching his fists as he takes a step back from me.

  “It was the day before school started.” I mumble sadly, wringing my hands together.

  “And why did you do it then?”

  “Because I was scared.” I answer truthfully, remembering how terrible I felt that day and the reason behind it.

  “Scared of what?” He enquires more gently, softening the tone of his voice.

  “Of going back there and facing everyone again. The entire school except Lisa made my life a misery last year and I didn’t know if I had the strength to face another year of it.”

  My eyes fill with unshed tears as I observe him trying to digest my harrowing revelation, trying to understand why I would do it in the first place.

  “Baby, come here.”

  He motions for me to walk towards him, wearing a defeated and heartbroken expression on his face. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this.”

  “It’s no big deal.” I lie, burying my face against his chest as I allow him to embrace me.

  “It is a big deal, Green. I love you far too much for you to be doing that to yourself. You know that don’t you?”

  He touches my chin softly, tilting my face up so he can lock those mesmerising eyes of his on my own. “You have to promise me right now that you will never do it again.”

  “But I don’t mean to do it.” I explain quietly.

  “Promise me.”

  “Ok, I promise.”

  “I mean it. You cannot do this again, Serena.” He insists, placing a kiss on the centre of my forehead.

  I can tell he’s still not happy with me, even when he leaves my house so he can race back home and get ready for school. I’m left alone for an hour or so as I wait for Lisa to come and pick me up. My mum is still in bed by the time I leave the house, oblivious to the row I had with Cole this morning and the fact that stayed over once again last night.

  I climb into my best friend’s car and give her a weak smile, hoping she won’t be able to tell that I’ve been crying since the moment Cole left.

  “What’s wrong?” She asks me straight away, turning in her seat.

  “Nothing, I’m fine.” I reply as casually as I can manage.

  “Your eyes say something different and I can tell you’ve been crying, Serena.”

  “I just had a little row with Cole this morning.” I admit, realising there’s no point in lying to her.

  She’s always been able to see right through me and that’s what makes her such a great friend.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” She offers kindly, starting the car’s engine before pulling away from my house.

  “Not really but thanks anyway.”

  “I still can’t believe you left school early with Cole yesterday, that’s not like you, Serena.”

  “The two of us had just had enough after what happened in the cafeteria at lunch. We had to get out of there.”

  “That’s understandable and thanks for letting me know you were ok. I would have been worried sick if you hadn’t.”

  “Of course. I know you’d do the same for me.”

  “Anyway, you know I’m here if you change your mind about talking.” She concludes, smiling warmly before going onto change the subject completely. “Have you still got your appointment this afternoon with the nurse?”

  “Shit, I forgot all about it.” I proclaim out loud, surprised by how quickly my appointment must have slipped my mind. “Thanks for reminding me.”

  “Are you nervous?”

  “Sort of but I think I’m more anxious about the type of questions she’s going to ask me.” I tell her truthfully.

  “It won’t be too intrusive. Their only aim is to find out what type of contraception will be right for you, that’s all there is to it.”

  “I think I’m more nervous about what will happen afterwards.”

  “You mean the sex part?”

  “Um, yeah…” I respond somewhat self-consciously.

  I’m not all that comfortable when it comes to talking about things like this, mainly because I know Lisa is no longer a virgin and I still am. She told me a few months back that she’s only slept with one person before but that makes her a hell of a lot more experienced than I am.

  “You know you can ask me anything you want to.” She assures me, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye before her attention is drawn back to the road ahead of her. “And I don’t mean that i
n a patronising way. I just want you to feel comfortable.”

  “I do appreciate your offer but don’t you think it would be a little embarrassing?”

  “Not at all, we’ve always been like sisters so it’s no big deal.”

  I stay quiet for a few moments, trying to figure out if I would feel at ease with the type of conversation Lisa is talking about having. I suppose she is right, we’ve been friends for years and it’s not like I can ask my mum anything about sex or when you know if it’s the right time for you to give your virginity to someone. I would never be able to approach her with something like this.

  “Ok, well you can always come over to my house tomorrow night if you want to and we can have a catch-up then.” I suggest cheerfully, already looking forward to it. “It feels like ages since we’ve spent some time together outside of school.”

  “I understand why that is. You’ve been busy with Cole.”

  “Regardless of that, you and I are going to spend tomorrow night together, ok? A fun Friday night like we used to is exactly what I need right now.”

  “Deal.” She replies happily.

  We arrive at school a couple of minutes later and are making our way through the main entrance when I spot him.

  Jonathan.

  “What the hell is he doing back here?” Lisa asks, spotting him walking in front of us.

  “I have no idea but he still looks pretty rough. Should he even be in school so soon after what happened?”

  “Serena, you do not have to feel sorry for that piece of scum, not after what he did to you.”

  “I don’t.” I lie, realising that a part of me still feels responsible for Jonathan ending up in the hospital. “I’m just worried about what Cole will do when he finds out he’s back.”

  “You need to warn him and I’d do it as soon as possible. You can’t risk him bumping into Jonathan in the hall or someone else telling him before you do.”

  “You’re right. I think I’ll call him.” I tell her, reaching for my phone.

  “Are you going to be alright by yourself?” She enquires gently, glancing around the students which I can already hear gossiping about the fact that Jonathan is back at school. “I really don’t want to leave you but my first class is due to start in five minutes.”

  “Lisa, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me and I’ll just catch up with you later.”

  “Ok, see you soon.”

  She gives me a brief hug before she heads inside, glancing over her shoulder a couple of times before she goes.

  I try phoning Cole but he doesn’t answer and I really don’t want to leave him a voice message about something like this. Giving up, I sigh wearily and reluctantly make my way into school.

  Using Cole’s locker is still a little strange to me but it’s also nice knowing that none of my things will be tampered with or go missing like last year. Cole was right when he promised me absolute security by sharing his locker.

  I’m on the way to my first lesson but the corridors are empty. I didn’t realise how late I was and now I’m dreading the thought of walking into my class when I know it must have started already.

  It’s when I’m walking by the storage closet which Cole and I used the day before when I feel it.

  He’s watching me.

  I turn around and scan the corridors, wondering where it is that he’s located and it’s only when my back is turned that he chooses to sneak up behind me.

  “Well, well, well. Look who it is... little miss cock tease.” He growls directly into my ear, allowing his grimy hands to wander up and down my body.

  Jonathan.

  “Get your hands of me.” I demand, struggling to free myself from his grasp.

  “Now why would I want to do a thing like that?” He taunts me, tightening the hold he has on my squirming body.

  His chest is pressed against my back and I can’t turn around, as much as I try to free myself from him.

  “Because you don’t want to end up in the hospital again.” I remind him boldly, digging my fingernails into the skin on his arms until he is forced to let me go.

  “You really think I’m going to let you get away with any of this? You think I’m going to just let you just walk away from what you did to me?”

  “I didn’t do anything to you. I didn’t even touch you.” I cry out angrily, indignant and bewildered by his statement.

  “But you want to, don’t you?” He sneers, taking one step closer towards me. “I know you get off on it, I know it turns you on to know how much I want you.”

  “Jonathan, let go of me right now or I swear to God I will scream.” I threaten him, glancing up and down the corridors for help.

  There is no one.

  “Your little boyfriend isn’t here to protect you anymore. In fact, who says you’re even going to see him again?”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “Let’s just say that a few members of my friends and family paid him a little visit this morning and even though he’s pretty tough, I doubt he’s strong enough to take on ten men singlehandedly.”

  “What have you done to him?!”

  “I didn’t do anything to him, Princess. I won’t harm him if you say you’ll do something for me.”

  “L-like what?” I stammer, already aware of what his demand will be.

  “Let me fuck you and we’ll say no more about it.”

  My mouth falls open in shock and disgust, unable to believe that someone as vile and obnoxious as this person can really exist.

  “Fuck you!” I yell loudly, surprising myself by own volume.

  “Baby, that’s exactly what I want and I can guarantee you’ll enjoy it, I promise you that.” He takes another step closer until I’m forced back against the wall right behind me.

  Up close I can see the shadows of his bruises, they’re big enough for me to realise just how hurt he must have been after Cole’s attack and now he wants revenge.

  “Where is Cole? Have you really hurt him?”

  “I’m expecting photographic evidence of what my friends have done to him any minute now. If you stick around you might even get to see it as well.” He replies smugly, smirking at me in cruelty.

  “You’re a monster.” I whisper, covering my face with my hands as I realise the reason behind Cole not answering my phone call just a few minutes ago.

  “An eye for an eye, Serena.”

  He remains silent for a couple of seconds before the sound of his phone distracts us both. He whips it out of his pocket and opens his message with glee. I expect to see a ridiculous smirk on his face once more but instead, the only expression I see is dismay.

  Without thinking, I grab his phone from him and stare at the photo he has been sent. I expected to see Cole lying unconscious or badly injured but the picture staring back at me shows him gazing into the camera with confidence with his middle finger up in defiance. I notice a few cuts and bruises but besides that, he looks absolutely fine. He’s the one who is full of confidence, exuding arrogance and confrontation.

  “Fuck!” Jonathan roars fiercely, throwing his phone to the ground.

  I take this opportunity and get the hell out of there, hurrying to my first class before he can catch up with me.

  The rest of my day seems to drag on forever. Cole isn’t in school but I do receive a text message from him which assures me he’s alright. He doesn’t mention what happened to him earlier on that morning and I choose not to discuss it with him until I can speak to him in person. He obviously doesn’t know that Jonathan is back in school and I don’t plan on telling him until later on when we can talk properly.

  I don’t even tell Lisa about what happened with Jonathan, not wanting to worry her now I know that Cole is ok. I keep it to myself and occupy myself with school, focusing on reaching the end of the day without bumping into that monster again.

  My appointment with the nurse is schedule for four o’clock so Cole and I arrange to meet up outside of school so we can go together. I know h
e won’t let me down and hurry out of the main entrance once my day is over. I think I’m the first person out the door and race across the carpark towards Cole who I spot waiting for me in the distance.

  I fling myself on him the moment I reach him, throwing my arms around my neck as I hug him tightly.

  “Hey!” He chuckles lightly, returning my embrace. “Did you happen to miss me today by any chance?”

  “You know I did.” I answer, refusing to relinquish the tight hold I have on him.

  He must realise that something is wrong and tries to loosen my arms around his neck in an attempt to make eye contact with me.

  “Baby, what is it? What’s wrong?”

  “I know about what happened to you this morning.” I confess, determined to get the truth from him.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I know about the guys who were sent to beat you up and hurt you.”

  “How do you know about that?” He demands harshly, grabbing me by the shoulders.

  “Jonathan told me that he sent them.”

  “Jonathan? How the hell did he manage to contact you? How did he even get his hands on your number?”

  “He didn’t phone me. He… he’s back at school.” I murmur, lowering my gaze towards the ground.

  “What?” Cole whispers incredulously.

  “Please don’t be angry.”

  “He’s in there right now?” He asks, motioning towards the school behind me. “He’s in there and he actually spoke to you? He actually came near you again?”

  “Yes.” I answer him reluctantly.

  “What did he say to you? Did he touch you?”

  “N-not in the way that you’re thinking.”

  “Serena, tell me the truth.”

  “He grabbed me in the corridor and told me what his friends were going to do to you.”

  “That fucking son of a bitch.” Cole growls in fury, clenching his fists in anger. “I’m going to kill him.”

  “Cole, please! I’m begging you right now not to do this. If you hurt him again then none of this is ever going to stop. It will just turn into one vicious cycle and I don’t think I can deal with any of that.”

  “He fucking touched you! How can you expect me to do nothing?” Cole yells, attracting the attention of some students who are leaving school.