He ignores her completely, remaining calm and entirely confident when it comes to his intentions. He’s unfazed by her warning as he begins to count.
“One… two… three…”
“I mean it, Cole. Stop this right now!” Lisa demands, trying to shove him backwards.
“This is your last chance, Serena. You really want to see what happens when I you’re your ass out of there?”
I slowly turn to face him, scowling when I watch him raise his eyebrows at me in ridicule. He’s laughing at me and this angers me even more. I know he thinks I’m being petulant and he regards my behaviour as something comical but entertaining. It makes me want to wipe that smug smirk off his face and that’s why I choose to remain in the car.
“Four…”
“Fuck you.” I whisper coldly, folding my arms across my head as I go back to staring out the windscreen.
“…Five.”
He grabs hold of my wrist and pulls me from my seat, slamming the car door behind me. He shoves me against it and takes a step closer, almost brushing my lips with his.
“I can smell her on you.” I snarl, narrowing my eyes at him in revulsion. “You smell disgusting.”
“You won’t let me have you. Why can’t I have her?” He taunts me, fixating his smouldering brown eyes on my lips.
“Believe me, you can. Have her as many times as you want but you will never touch me again.”
“I know you will give into me eventually. I’m going to make it so damn hard for you to say no, you’ll be begging me to take you.”
He sounds so certain and so sure of himself, it makes my blood boil. I want to prove him wrong and I want to know I have the strength to resist him. If only I could stop wanting him…
“You will never have me and it’s going to make you go crazy. You will see my face every single time you’re in bed with someone else and it’s going to drive you mad.” I fume, fighting against the indescribable urge I have to punch him.
“Cole, get the hell away from her. She doesn’t want to talk to you and I can’t say I blame her.” Lisa adds, trying to act as a barrier between us.
He’s having none of it of course and uses his strength to keep her back.
“We aren’t over. We will never be over and you know it. You’re mine. You belong to me.”
“I’m not.” I tremble, shaking uncontrollably. “Not anymore.”
“You can say that all you want, it still doesn’t make it true.”
“Why would I want you when you’ve just had your hands over someone else? You think I would ever let you touch me now?! You make me sick!”
Our blazing row is being witnessed by a large audience as hundreds of students come pouring out of school. They’re all watching us, intrigued and fearful about what will happen next. I hate the idea of everyone knowing my private business and realise that shouting back at Cole is not the answer. The best thing I can do right now is walk away.
If he will let me.
“I know you still want me.” He whispers softly, tilting his head so he can speak directly into my ear. “It’s written all over your face and I can practically smell your arousal from here. I bet you’re wet for me already, aren’t you? Your face is flushed and your heart is racing. You want my hands on you and there’s nothing you can say or do that’s going to change that.”
“You’re wrong.” I lie, trying to conceal my emotions from him.
“How many times have you made yourself come this week? How many times have you thought about me and pretended I was the one touching you?” He questions me, breathing heavily against the sensitive skin on my neck.
“Stop it.” I beg him, utterly humiliated that my best friend can still hear every word of our conversation.
“You can have the real thing, baby. There’s no need for you to imagine.”
He trails his finger along the length of my jawline and moistens his lips, closing the small space between us until my chest is pressed against his.
“Leave me alone!” I cry, desperate to free myself from the unbearable hold he’s always seemed to have on me.
“I guess it’s going to take a bit more time for you to come to your senses.” He patronises me, taking a step back. “And you won’t mind it when you see me with other girls, will you? If you really mean what you say then it won’t bother you. I’m free to do what I want now, or should I say who I want.”
His voice sounds so cold and detached, I don’t even recognise him anymore. He knows exactly what to say and how to hurt me the most, confident that his deliberate and intentional provocation of me will make me crack.
“You did that on purpose.” I murmur, staring at him in horror. “You wanted me to see you with her and you enjoyed hurting me in the process.”
“I promise you it will get worse. It won’t stop until you give in and accept the fact that you and I are going to happen.” He assures me with certainty, refusing to tear his eyes away from my own.
“Why are you doing this to me?”
“Because you’re mine and I going to do everything in my power to make you realise it. I might have to screw a hundred women until you give into me but we both know it’s going to happen.”
“That’s enough.” Lisa interjects sternly. “Serena, let’s go.”
“You can’t escape this, Green. I won’t let you.”
He smirks at me once more, ignoring the large group of people who are watching us. The majority of them are observing our row with a great deal of interest and curiosity as they gossip amongst themselves. One voice can be heard above the others and it has a masculine tone. I vaguely recognise it but wish I didn’t as soon as I hear him make his next statement.
“I knew she was a skank when she sent that photo of herself last year but she has a smoking hot body. I’d give it to her all night long and she’d end up begging me for more.”
I cringe at the vulgarity of his words, utterly humiliated. I can’t believe the majority of the school just heard what he said about me, meaning Cole heard it too.
He inhales sharply, striding towards the idiot who is still laughing at my expense. The culprit’s expression changes when he spots Cole heading towards him.
“Serena, get in the car. You don’t have to stay and watch this.” Lisa tells me, bustling me back inside the car before she climbs in it herself.
It only takes one blow for the guy who insulted me to fall down. Cole is above him within seconds, pounding his fists against his face before a large circle of students gather around them and obstruct my view.
“We have to do something!” I cry, scrambling to unlock the car door so I can get out.
“We can’t! I don’t want either one of us involved in this and you can’t do anything to stop it.” She replies calmly, emphasising the part about me being powerless to prevent Cole from doing anything violent.
“But he’s going to hurt him! How can I just leave them there without doing anything to stop it?” I cry helplessly, staring at my friend in disbelief.
She speeds out of the hectic car park as quick as lightning, forcing me to grab my seatbelt in a hurry. She continues like this all the way home, refusing to slow down and explain her reaction to me until we reach my house. She turns off the car’s engine, turning around to face me in her seat.
“I’m sorry about that.” She apologises sincerely. “I think I just panicked.”
“Panicked?!” I shriek loudly. “You could have killed us, Lisa!”
“I know I drove recklessly but I just wanted to get you out of there. God knows what Cole is capable of when he’s in that frame of mind.”
“Cole would never hurt me.” I assure her, staring out my window towards my house.
“He’s already hurt you!” She reminds me. “Please don’t try and defend him.”
“I meant physically. Cole would never hurt me like that.”
“How am I supposed to know that?”
“Because you should trust me.” I murmur softly, sighing heavily. �
�Look, I should go inside. I need some time alone.”
“Serena, tell me what’s going on. Please trust me.” She begs, placing her hand on my arm so she can keep me from leaving.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s… it’s something I can’t take back once I’ve said it.”
“He’s making you keep quiet about it, isn’t he? He’s threatening you.” She states, speaking boldly.
“No, no he isn’t. I promise you.”
“So tell me what’s going on. Don’t do this to yourself. You’re keeping something from me and its making you unwell. I can’t even recognise my best friend anymore. I don’t know where she is but she isn’t here. She isn’t you.”
I glance across at her and notice the sadness in her eyes. She’s consumed by her concern for me and I realise that I no longer have the strength to keep this to myself. I’m overwhelmed by my misery and heartache, desperate to share my dark secret with someone I trust.
“If I do tell you then you have to swear to me that you will keep it to yourself.”
“Of course I will.” She promises me kindly.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes, struggling to form the words which will no doubt change everything.
“Cole is… he’s… he’s my half-brother.”
Silence follows, heightening the intensity of the moment and my apprehension as I await her reaction.
“What?”
“We found out last week.” I confess. “He found out first.”
“But how can he be?” She asks, trying to understand.
“We share the same father.”
“Your dad is Cole’s father?” She states incredulously.
“Yes.”
“My God…” She sighs heavily. “What are you going to do?”
“I’ve been trying my best to keep away from him but you can see how difficult that’s been. He won’t give up on the idea of us being together and is making things difficult for me by flaunting that girl in front of me. He’s doing it on purpose.”
“That’s crazy. He’s crazy if he thinks that you two can ever be together. It’s sick and wrong.”
“Lisa, you’re not helping and don’t say it’s sick when you don’t know anything about it.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t know what to do.” I admit, fighting back my tears. “I’m still in love with him and I still want him. I can’t stand seeing him every day and I don’t know how much longer I can say no to him.”
“You have to. No matter what you can’t give into him, Serena. If he continues to harass you then you’re going to have to tell someone.” She advises me firmly.
“Like who?”
“I don’t know… your mum?”
“I’m not prepared to tell her anything.” I say decidedly.
“What about the police?”
My mouth falls open in shock, longing to take back my confession.
“Why would I tell them?”
“I just mean that you could always go to them if he won’t leave you alone. It would be against the law for him to pursue a relationship and that’s exactly what he’s doing. He would get into serious trouble if the police found out, especially because of his criminal record. They might send him to prison and then you would be free.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Why are you saying this?” I demand, raising my voice in anger and frustration.
“I’m sorry. I know I’m making things worse it’s just… I don’t know what to tell you. I’m trying to think of a solution but I can’t come up with anything. Cole struggles with his temper and I’m seriously concerned about you after what he said to you today. He’s dangerous.”
“Don’t say that! You don’t know anything about him.”
“Serena, don’t be angry with me. I’m just trying to help you.”
“You can’t help me.” I reply sadly. “Nobody can.”
I let myself out of her car and head towards my house, closing the front door behind me as I crumple to the floor. My phone keeps on ringing but I ignore it, refusing to answer Lisa’s calls or her text messages.
I don’t know why I expected her to understand but I now see how foolish I’ve been choosing to confide in her. What if she tells someone? What if she really goes to the police or reveals everything to a member of staff at school? She just doesn’t get it. She doesn’t understand how I feel about him or how much we’re both suffering from being apart.
Just because I’ve found out Cole is my half-brother doesn’t mean I see him as that. Neither one of us were raised together as children or brought up to believe we had a brother or sister. We didn’t even know about the other person’s existence until last week.
Realising that I can’t stay in the same spot all afternoon, I drag my tired body to its feet. My mum isn’t home and I doubt she will be until tomorrow morning. It’s Friday so I’m pretty sure she will have already made plans to go straight out after work.
She’s hardly spoke to me since I told my father to go back home last week. She was furious with me when I told her I no longer had an interest in pursuing any sort of relationship with him. Of course she doesn’t care about the fact that I will have no contact with him, all she cares about is his money. He’s always handed me a big wad of cash on the occasions when we’ve met up before and that’s the only reason she even wanted me to connect with him again.
I spend the rest of the night at home, curled up on the sofa in front of the TV. I ended up switching my phone off because I was so sick of hearing it. Lisa’s incessant phone calls were too much for me to handle and I knew I would end up snapping at her if she continued.
At midnight I decide to go to bed, immersing myself in a hot bubble bath before I change into my pyjamas. The house is so quiet and its silence only helps to remind me just how isolated I am. I feel like I have no one. No one I can trust and no one who can help me. The whole world would be against me if I speak out and tell the truth. The bulk of society would turn away and shun me for falling in love with someone they regard as being wrong for me. None of them would care about my feelings or how much it’s breaking my heart now that I’m separated from him. All they would care about is biology and the DNA which Cole and I share.
I climb into bed and close my eyes, trying to ignore the steady flow of tears which I cannot prevent from falling. The burning hole inside my chest grows bigger every single day, reminding me of what I’ve lost and who I yearn for.
How can I do it? How can I face the rest of my life without him? How am I supposed to get through this misery when I know that we can never be together? I broke the one promise I made to him by telling someone. I foolishly thought I could trust my best friend with my dark secret but as soon as I told her I knew it had been a mistake. I saw judgement in her eyes and knew she wasn’t capable when it came to understanding. She could not process or comprehend how I could still feel that way about him and I really don’t have the energy to try and make her.
I fell asleep eventually because the next thing I know, I’m being woken by the forceful pressure of someone’s hand covering my mouth. I can feel an additional weight on the bed beside me and try to open my mouth to scream.
“Shh…” A soothing voice whispers. “It’s me.”
Cole.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, sitting up in bed. “How did you get in?”
“I had to see you. I needed to see you one last time.”
He switches my lamp on so my room is surrounded by a warm, golden glow. It highlights his harrowing appearance and exhaustion as his shoulders slump and his head lowers. His knuckles are grazed and covered in blood, dried blood which I assume belongs to the student he hurt at school earlier.
“What do you mean?” I ask him gently, unnerved by his shattered demeanour.
“They’re after me, Serena.” He murmurs softly, cradling his head in his hands.
“Who?”
“The police. They’re out looking for me right now.”
“Because…?”
“Because of today and what happened at school.”
“Did… did you hurt him badly?” I inquire hesitantly, terrified of hearing his answer.
“Yes.”
“Oh, Cole… why did you do it?”
“I don’t know why, Green. I don’t know why I’m such a mess or why I ruin everything that’s good. I don’t know what I did to deserve you but I always knew it wouldn’t last. I’m not worthy of you.”
He stands up and walks towards my window, pulling my curtains back so he can gaze out at the midnight sky.
“Please don’t say that.”
“Why shouldn’t I?” He challenges me angrily. “You despise me now and you have every right to feel that way. I don’t blame you.”
“I don’t hate you, Cole. I-I love you. I still love you.”
My admittance is followed by a prolonged moment of silence. I’m still sitting on the bed and Cole is standing. He watches me closely with a look of disbelief on his face.
“You do?”
“Of course.” I assure him, climbing off the bed so I can walk over towards him. “I meant everything I said to you and none of that has changed.”
“But you still don’t want to be with me?”
“Cole, I want that more than anything it’s just… you know why we can’t.”
“Just give me another chance. I’m begging you, Serena. Let me make you happy, or at least let me try.”
“I can’t!” I declare frantically. “How could it possibly work out when the police are after you? How do you think we can still be together?”
“I can’t even contemplate a life without you. I just can’t do it. This past week has been the worst of my entire life. I’ve been an absolute wreck and I know you’ve felt the same way. I felt like I was dying and I couldn’t explain the excruciating pain I was going through. It consumed me night and day, destroying every piece of happiness we once had. I can’t be without you, Serena. It’s slowly killing me being apart from you.”
“It’s been killing me too but I don’t know what to do! How can I allow myself to be with you when I know how wrong it is? It’s not only wrong, it’s illegal!”
That Summer (Part One) Page 21
