He grabs hold of me and pulls me into his arms. His hands fists itself in my hair, forcing my neck back until I’m looking up at him.
“I’m in love with you and there’s nothing in this world that can change that. Ever.” He growls deeply, forcing me to maintain eye contact with him.
“The police will change it. They’re going to arrest you and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.” I cry, burying my face against his chest. “Oh, God. Why is this happening?”
“I don’t know, baby. I don’t know why.”
“What are you going to do? Where will you go?”
“I don’t know yet but I know I can’t stay here. There are a few people in London who might let me stay with them until I get myself sorted.” He answers calmly, stroking his fingers through my hair.
“I can’t believe you have to leave.” I murmur, looking up at his handsome face which is lit up by the moonlight streaming through my window. “What am I going to do without you?”
“You’ll cope.” He promises me gently. “You will survive this because you’re strong. You’re so much stronger than me.”
“I’m not, Cole. I can’t live without you.”
He pauses before sighing deeply, caressing the skin on the back of my neck with his fingertips.
“Maybe you don’t have to.” He whispers faintly.
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe you can come with me.”
I take a step back and gape up at him in astonishment. A part of me starts to wonder if I misheard him, unable to believe that he would really ask me to run away with him.
“How can I come with you? You don’t even know where you’re going and what about school?”
“You really want to go back to that place after what happened there today?”
“Of course I don’t but that’s not the point.” I argue, turning my back on him in an attempt to process everything without being distracted.
“So come with me. Pack a bag right now and let’s just go. We can leave all of this behind and start a new life together.”
I pace back and forth in front of him as my anxiety increases. My chest starts to feel tight, as though there’s someone pressing down against it and I can scarcely breathe. I don’t know what’s happening to me but I feel unbalanced, dizzy and light-headed.
“I… I don’t feel so good.” I whimper, placing my hand against my forehead.
Cole is at my side within seconds, guiding me towards my bed where he encourages me to sit down.
“Serena, take a seat. Come on, baby.”
He kneels down in front of me and strokes my forehead with his hand as his soothing voice calms me. I close my eyes and try to imagine a world where we could be together and love each other as we want to. The possibility of such a world is unimaginable. No one will ever accept us if we stay here, especially now I’ve told Lisa.
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Ok… what is it?” He asks me kindly, tucking a stray strand of my hair back behind my ear.
“I told someone.” I mumble quietly, lowering my eyes to the floor. “I told Lisa about who you really are. She knows you’re my half-brother.”
He inhales sharply before jumping up onto his feet, glaring at me in indignation.
“Fuck, Serena! I told you not to tell anyone! Why would you do that?” He rages at me in fury, slamming his fist against my bedroom wall behind him.
“I was scared!” I wail helplessly, begging him to understand why I did it. “I’d just watched you attack that guy at school and I couldn’t keep it to myself for a moment longer. It was driving me insane and I didn’t know what to do!”
“You know what this means, don’t you?” He questions me harshly, refusing to turn around and look at me. “It means we can’t be together. Not now, not ever. At least not here. There’s no chance for us now that someone knows about us.”
“Don’t say that.” I plead with him, not wanting to believe it.
“You know it’s true. Jesus Christ… she’s bound to tell someone now she knows. I bet she’s threatened to do so already.”
“S-she did mention me going to the police.” I stammer, remembering that awful moment when I realised that telling my best friend had been a dreadful mistake.
“Fucking hell. She might have even told them already.”
“No, no she wouldn’t do that. She cares about me and our friendship.” I assure him.
“Exactly! She might tell someone and won’t even see it as a betrayal. She’ll convince herself that she’s doing the right thing by revealing what she knows.”
“Oh, God. Oh, God. What are we going to do?” I weep, breaking down completely as my pain consumes me.
I need Cole to rescue me and tell me everything is going to be ok. I need him to heal my heartbreak and mend what has been broken. The only problem is… the world will now tell me he’s the wrong person. They will try and convince me that I’m wrong to feel the way I do about him and try to change what has already taken place. I fell in love with him long before I found out we were related and it was too late by the time we learnt the truth.
“You’re going to do like I said.” He responds decidedly. “Gather up your things and pack a bag. You’re coming with me.”
“You really expect me to leave with you right now in the middle of the night.” I ask him incredulously.
“Yes.” He insists firmly, refusing to back down or change his mind on this.
“But what about my mum? What do I tell her?”
“Nothing. You really think she deserves to know after the way she’s treated you?”
“And what about Lisa?”
“You can’t tell her anything, Serena. You can’t say a word about this to anyone.”
“But the police are already out looking for you. They’re bound to come after us when people find out we’re missing.”
“That’s why you have to hurry up. They’re not going to catch us if they can’t find us.”
He starts searching through my things, opening my drawers and grabbing an armful of my clothes.
“Cole, I’m scared. I don’t want to get you into any more trouble.” I admit softly, raking my fingers through my hair in torment and despair.
“Sweetheart, I’m the only one who is responsible here. I got us into this mess and now I’m going to be the one to make it right.”
He crouches down in front of me and wipes away my tears, brushing my forehead with his lips before he carries on gathering up my things.
“Cole, I… I don’t know where to start. What do I pack? What do I need to take with me?”
“Just a few necessities and anything else you think you might need. I’ll be back in half an hour to pick you up.”
He goes to leave before I stop him, grabbing hold of his arm to stop him from going.
“Cole, wait! How are we going to travel?”
“Leave that to me, ok? I don’t want you to worry about that. I’ll be back soon. Just give me half an hour.”
“Wait!” I exclaim frantically, pulling him back towards me. “I… I need you to kiss me.”
His mouth falls open in surprise as his erratic breathing increases.
“Y-you want me to kiss you?” He asks, repeating my question to himself. “Why?”
“For courage. I also need to know that you will come back for me.”
“I can’t exist without you, Green. There’s no way in hell I’m going anywhere without you.” He promises me, taking hold of my hand so he can squeeze it tightly.
He closes the narrow space between us until my body is pressed against his. Words cannot describe how incredible it feels to be so close to him again and to breathe in his scent. The warmth of his lips is electrifying as they make contact with my own and I can no longer keep my whole body from trembling with desire.
I know this should feel wrong and I also know that the reality of what we’re doing isn’t right. I’m aware there are so many people in this world w
ho would call our love immoral and do anything to keep us apart but despite it all… despite all the obstacles which still threaten to tear us apart… I still love him.
His tongue parts my lips gently, entering my mouth with hesitancy and caution. He’s treating me like I’m made of glass, as though something which is extremely fragile and precious. I do realise that things will be different now and we can never go back to how it used to be before we knew. I also realise that we will never be able to escape the truth. Neither one us will pretend, neither one of us wants to live a lie. We just want to be together and love each other in the way that feels right to us, the only way we know how.
“Open your mouth for me.” He whispers huskily. “Don’t hold back from me, Serena. Please.”
I do as he asks and allow his tongue to caress my own, moaning loudly when he takes control and deepens our kiss. Our tongues swirl against one another as our breathing quickens. His hands find their way inside my shirt, stroking my bare skin before he reaches my breasts and squeezes them possessively.
“Cole…” I pant breathlessly, delighting in the sound of his name on my lips.
“God, I’ve missed this.” He groans deeply, picking me up off the floor so I can wrap my legs around his waist. “I’ve missed you so much. I’ve been needing you for so long.”
“Really?”
“You have no idea how much. You don’t know how many hours I’ve been awake in bed, driving myself crazy and longing for the heat of your body next to mine.”
I don’t know what makes me think of it but the sudden image of Cole and the girl I saw him with earlier flashes before my eyes, startling me enough to push him away.
“Stop.” I beg him. “Please stop.”
“What’s wrong?” He asks me in concern, lowering me to my feet.
“It’s that girl.” I confess, struggling to control my jealousy once again. “The one I saw you with earlier outside of school. I need to know if she means something to you.”
“Baby, of course she doesn’t. I know that sounds terrible but she means absolutely nothing to me. The only girl I want is you.” He assures me, staring at me intently.
“So why the hell were you making out with her?!” I yell at him in frustration, unable to erase the picture I have of them together
“To make you jealous.” He answers simply, sustaining his bemused expression.
I know a part of him finds this humorous and this angers me even more.
“You’re actually admitting it?”
“I sure am.” He replies coolly, struggling to conceal his mischievous smirk.
“Cole, that’s so cruel. Not just to me but to her as well.”
“Look, I really don’t care about her.” He retorts carelessly. “I don’t care about any of the whores who have tried it on with me this week. The only one I care about is you.”
I exhale slowly, clenching my fists as I try to remain dignified and rational. There’s still so much which Cole and I need to discuss and there are still so many problems we have yet to face. However, I’m also sensible enough to realise that all of that can wait. At least until we’re far away from here.
“Just go. Do what you have to do and come back for me.”
“Come here.” He encourages me, pulling me into his strong embrace. “Only you, Green. It’s always been you.”
It takes me several minutes to pull myself together once Cole has left. I can’t seem to think straight or figure out what it is I’m supposed to be doing. I somehow pull myself together when I notice what time it is.
Two o’clock.
It spurs me into action and I race around my bedroom like a madwoman, scrambling through my things as I start to bundle them inside a large bag I find. It really doesn’t take me too long because I don’t own too many clothes and I have nothing of sentimental value which I long to take with me.
The only person on my mind is Lisa. No matter what was said between us, I can’t just leave things like this. I want her to know that I’ll be ok and that none of this is her fault. However, I also know how strongly Cole feels about keeping this a secret.
Deciding that the least I can do is send her a text, I reach for my phone. Wiping away the rest of my tears, I sit down and send my best friend one final message.
Lisa, this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I love you so much and have far too much to thank you for. You have been the greatest friend to me and I will always be grateful to you for being there for me when no one else was. The truth is… I’m leaving. I didn’t know I was but things have changed so suddenly. I have to be with Cole. I love him so much despite everything and need to be with him. I know you won’t understand this and I don’t expect you to. All I ask for is your silence. Please, please don’t say anything to anyone about where I’m going. I already know the police are after him for what happened at school today and I expect you will know this as well by tomorrow morning. We don’t have any chance of being together if we stay and this is the only way we can live our lives freely and together. I don’t know when I will next be in touch or how long it will be until we speak again but I promise I will make contact with you again one day. You will always be my best friend, Lisa. Stay strong and please respect my wishes. I love you.
Serena.
I find it extremely difficult to stop my tears as I complete writing my final goodbye to Lisa. It truly hurts that I won’t be able to explain things to her in person but I can only hope she will understand my reasons and remain loyal to my request.
Knowing that will be back any minute now forces me to hurry up and check I haven’t left anything behind. I know I shan’t be coming back here so I can’t afford to make any mistakes.
“You ready?” Cole asks, taking me by surprise when he bursts through my bedroom door.
“Y-yes.” I stutter nervously, taking one last glance around my bedroom.
“Ok, we need to leave right now.” He urges me impatiently, picking up the large bag at my feet. “You sure this is all you want to take? You know we can’t come back for anything, right?”
“I understand but what about my phone?”
“Leave it. We take nothing they can use to trace us.”
I nod my head in understanding and leave my phone behind, thankful that I decided to delete the message I sent to Lisa before Cole came back. I don’t know whether my mum might check through it when she realises I’m gone and I’m not willing to take that risk.
Cole grabs my hand as he leads me across the hallway and down the stairs, placing his fingers on his lips as he escorts me through my front door.
“What now?”
“See that silver car on the corner?” He says, pointing out the vehicle he is talking about. “We’re taking that.”
“You’ve just stolen it?!” I demand outrageously.
“I had no choice. How else do you think we would be able to get out of here without being spotted? There’s already a warrant out for my arrest and we need to get the hell out of here as fast as we can. People talk and it won’t be long before the police come here to question you.”
“My God, Cole.” I tremble violently, hugging my body in an attempt to stop myself from shaking.
“Stay strong, baby. We’ll be out of here soon.”
We wait a couple more seconds before we race across the street towards the silver car and get in it as quietly as we can.
“Whose is it?”
“That doesn’t matter anymore. It’s ours.” Cole states clearly, switching on the car’s engine.
“Did you drive over in this before you broke into my house?”
“No, I picked it up once you agreed to come with me. I had to sort a few things out before we left.”
“Such as…?”
“Again, that’s not important. All that matters is how much distance we put between us and the police and the fact that we’re together now.”
The two of us are silent for the next few minutes as we speed out of town so we can reach th
e main roads. I have no idea where we are going or if Cole even knows this himself. My overwhelming doubt and uncertainty dominate my thoughts, twisting my stomach and heightening my paranoia as I keep thinking every car behind us might be the police.
“Green, you have to try and calm down. Everything is going to be ok.”
Cole’s tone of voice is so reassuring. I’m sure he must use that deliberate and gentle tone with me on purpose.
“You promise?” I ask him uncertainly.
“I promise.”
He takes hold of my small hand in his and interlaces our fingers. I look down at our clasped hands and smile at him weakly before I go back to staring out the car window.
My whole life consists of this town and the people in it and even though I haven’t always been happy here, it is still the place I first met Cole.
I don’t know what the road ahead of us looks like but what I do know is we have each other. The man beside me crashed into my world like a tornado, destroying everything in its path. He shattered my heart and made sure he was the only one who knew how to place the broken pieces back together. He made me fall in love with him and I had absolutely no control and no choice in the matter.
I eventually found out the truth about him and although it destroyed my world, tainted our love and ruined the future I once thought we would share together, it did not destroy us.
Yes, he is my half-brother but the greatest revelation of all is I no longer care.
Present day…
“Do you wish to continue?” My therapist asks me, leaning forward in her seat with a concerned expression on her face.
I blink away my unshed tears, familiarising myself with the searing pain inside my chest.
Heartbreak.
“Maybe tomorrow.” I whisper softly. “I don’t think I can face anymore today.”
“That’s perfectly understandable.” She assures me kindly.
“The… the next part is difficult for me because it explains why he… why he still hates me. It explains why it’s still not safe for me to approach him and why he can never find out where I am.”
That Summer (Part One) Page 22
