His eyes were hooded, and his arms were crossed, one hand over his mouth. He stood, bare chest expanding and his muscles bulging, as he inhaled slowly, green gaze carefully watching.
Cutting off the growl, I ran my hands through my hair, confused and aroused and pissed and…yes, damn jealous. And I knew he was scenting it all. Goddamn Vampire nose.
“Lily,” Ezra said quietly. “What’s going on?”
I glanced at the door, ready to bolt. I wasn’t sure I could answer his question.
He sidestepped, placing his back to said door.
Fuck.
“I don’t know,” I muttered, glancing around the room and scratching my nose, only to yank my hand away when it left the remnants of slut there. I growled, glaring at my hand. And told the truth. “I don’t like her scent on you.” My eyes glowed. “And I sure as hell,” I growled even lower, sounding scary to my own ears as I rubbed my palms on my pants, “don’t like the idea of her hands that close to your fucking cock.” My mouth slammed shut, growl cut off.
Dear God. I sounded like a bitter wife.
Silence.
I didn’t look anywhere near him.
A very long freaking minute passed in stillness before he moved from the door, his broken belt jingling as he moved a few feet closer and stopped to sit on the edge of the desk, reclining on straight arms. He unbent his legs and crossed his ankles, staring down at his boots.
“You’ve never been jealous before.” His gaze found my face. I could feel it even though I wasn’t looking directly at him. “You know I drink daily. You know sometimes the women, and occasionally the men, try to get physical with me.” A pause. “It’s practically the same damn circumstance when all those Shifters flock to you. And believe me, sweetheart, they aren’t always there for simple comfort.” He wasn’t lying. Half the time, I had to maneuver away from friendly hands. He cracked his neck. “So, what the hell’s this about?”
I cracked my own neck, rolling my shoulders, and moved away from the wall, heading toward the bookcase across the room. It would give me something to look at besides his unbelievable, half-bare build. Stopping in front of the books, which all looked the same, I mumbled, “I don’t know.” Fuck me, if that wasn’t the truth.
There was only quiet behind me until Ezra stated dryly, “You’ve got to give me more than that to go on.”
Closing my eyes in resignation, I turned and opened them to meet his gaze slowly. His was as guarded as mine. His body appeared deceptively at ease, his posture of someone inviting candor, but his muscles were fairly vibrating they were so tense. I eyed him, trying to work through this.
Going on facts alone, I reasoned it out. During our time together, not-so-gradually my interest in any other partner had completely diminished. When we had been on our break, it had hurt like a son of a bitch when I had found out about his other partners. I had only continued sleeping with Finn because I was pissed off and confused. And there was the incident with Rose’s dog when I hadn’t liked her near him. Hell, I couldn’t even imagine finding someone I would want more in my bed than Ezra. And all the while, I had been having more sex with Ezra, spending every spare moment I could with him.
And it hit me, like a bullet of pounding awareness through the brain.
Oh, Jesus.
My breath caught and my gaze jumped away from him.
“What?” Ezra asked instantly.
I started pacing in front of the bookshelves, rubbing my nose every time I neared the fireplace, so I stayed clear of it. Its smell was bugging the shit out of me when Ezra wasn’t near and his scent permeating my senses. I sighed and stopped in the middle of the room, facing him. “Okay, you and I…” I fidgeted with my open shirt, staring down at it. “Would it be…” Oh hell, this was fucking hard to say.
Ezra kept silent, his gaze making me even more nervous.
Finally, I blurted, “We’ve never had ‘the talk’, Ezra.” My hands fluttered a little before I started yanking them through my hair while I wondered if this was a bad idea. “You know?”
He held my gaze. “The talk?” He spoke like it was foreign to him, tasting the word’s newness.
I sighed heavily. How the hell else do I explain it? Wringing my hands, I studied my shoes. “Like…we never talked about…whether or not we would have other lovers while we were sleeping together.” When he stilled completely, I stated hurriedly, “I don’t want that. Or, what I mean is, I don’t want us sleeping with other people.” Fuck, I was flustered.
Running my hands through my hair, I continued blundering through what I was trying to say. “I want to be…exclusive.” I nodded. That was what I wanted to say. “Exclusion. I want it stated in mutual understanding that’s where we are, instead of just…happening. I want to know for a fact that you aren’t out there kissing or touching or fucking someone else. And I don’t want someone else doing any of that to you.”
I pointed at myself. “I can honestly say I don’t want anyone else doing that to me. But right now, as we stand, either one of us could go out and fuck someone else, and the other person would have no viable reason to be upset, because we’ve never actually talked about it.” My eyes, which had been wandering, darted to his. And stayed there. I really wanted to look away, but I wanted to gauge his reaction more.
He didn’t show a damn thing. “Exclusion?”
Curtly, I nodded. I had already asked it. Might as well see where this goes.
“As in,” his head tilted to the side, “you no longer fuck anyone but me?”
I nodded. Crude, but true. “Yes. And you no longer fuck anyone but me.” I had to clarify that.
His head fell back, exposing his throat as he gazed at the ceiling. I stared. He definitely wasn’t calm. I didn’t even have to listen to his heartbeat to know that. It was actually visible in the wild pulse at his throat.
When he stayed silent, my heart rate doubled in worry, and I asked quickly, “Would it really be so bad to be together-together?” I shook my head, throwing my arms wide. “Hell, we practically are already. It’s just…happening. All I want is for you to say you won’t sleep with anyone else.” I paused, then made myself say, “Well, unless you break it off with me first.” I was proud the words came out louder than a whisper, because I sure as hell didn’t want him breaking it off.
Gaze dropping from the ceiling, he ran a hand over his face. “Sweetheart, calm down.” His words were quiet, calm, when neither of us were. “I understand what you’re saying.” His green gaze met mine steadily. “It’s not that I haven’t thought before about bringing this topic up with us.” My heart stalled, hearing that. His smile was soft, his head slightly cocking. “I’ve been without my mate longer than you have yours, and I’ve been staring at that damn crack longer than you have. So I’m,” he lifted his hand, rolling a finger, “further along in the process than you are.”
“Oh.” I tried to keep my jaw from gaping. “Why haven’t you said anything then?” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, realization dawned. He didn’t want it. My breathing hitched, and I glanced at the door again. “Fuck, my ignorance surprises even me sometimes.”
Quietly, he growled, “It’s not what you’re thinking, so don’t even think about running.”
My gaze snapped to his. His head was tilted down, his eyes staring at me with clear intent. If I made a move for the door, he was planning to stop me. “Okay…explain, please.”
He stared at me for a few beats longer, his eyes assessing. I tried to appear at ease, as if I didn’t want to run from him saying he didn’t want me, and placed my hands in my pockets, rocking back on my heels. Eh, no problem. He sighed, leaning back on the desk, even though his eyes didn’t waver from me, not buying my act.
Gradually he spoke, as if he were gauging my reaction to each of his words. “When I first really started contemplating the idea of a real relationship between us,” his lips thinned, “it was shortly before we lost our baby boy and girl.” My own lips pinched, air slowly exhaling throu
gh my nose at the reminder of our loss, while I watched as his chest heaved, his own head falling for a moment before he rolled it on his shoulders, glancing back up to me. “After that,” he sighed, shaking his head, “I didn’t know what the fuck to do.”
“We were lost,” I whispered, my hands clenching in my pockets. “Afraid of reality.”
“Exactly,” he rumbled, standing, his hands instantly going into his pockets, which dragged his jeans lower on his hips. This time, he began pacing. “And when we did get back together, I was still scared shitless, but I knew I wanted to be with you.” His predator growled low. “But as far as the thought of exclusion goes, it’s the ‘what-ifs’ that are killing me.”
I backed away, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as I watched him stalk up and down the bookcases as I had. His head was lowered and his shoulders were hunched. The muscles in his arms bulged, and his jaw was clenched. He appeared like a man torn.
I was startled to feel hope bloom amongst my fear of losing him. Hope for another man. Someone besides Dominic. Someone I didn’t want others touching. Hell, I didn’t even want them looking at him, or him gazing at them, hungry for all his attention directed at me. And it freaked me out only a little.
He stopped unexpectedly after a full couple of minutes of quiet, taking a hand out of his pocket to rub the back of his neck, his eyes coming to me, then away, as he said quietly, “I don’t know if I can do exclusion.” He paused, green eyes finding mine and staying this time. “And I don’t know if you can, either.”
I stiffened at his implication, and seeing it, he shook his head, explaining, “It’s one huge ‘what-if’, since I know we wouldn’t give our word on it.” He was right. A Mystical’s word bound them magically to what they said, but for him and me…it would feel like cheating — demeaning us — when we had never had to use magic to make us…us. Our relationship had always been about love, trust, and respect. When I didn’t argue with his assumption, he nodded his head once, as if he knew I wouldn’t. “So there would be no damn magic to keep us from being turned on by someone else.”
He threw his arms wide, his eyes flashing. “I can smell your arousal when someone else tempts you.” His eyes flashed again, his voice rising. “I have no clue what type of man I would become if we were really together and I scented that on you again.” A finger-point at himself. “It’s uncharted territory for me.” His finger swung my way. “And you.” He started pacing again, running a hand through his hair before stuffing it back into his pocket.
Covertly, I scented the air, getting the vibe of his rant. And sneezed, rubbing my nose. The action was odd enough that Ezra stopped in his tracks and glanced at me. I pointed at the fireplace. “The fire’s bugging me.” But, on the plus side, I had caught a whiff of something from him as he let his true feeling show.
Possessiveness.
He nodded and resumed pacing, his head lowering again, not showing his features.
Carefully, I stated, “It wouldn’t have to be a relationship-relationship if you didn’t want that. It could be only an expansion of what we already are.” That might make him feel better.
He growled. It was Vampire.
Guess not.
He continued his trek for another few minutes until rumbling, “Even if we did this, there are other things that could be an issue.” Again, he ran a hand through his hair. Clearing his throat, he stopped to rest his shoulder against a bookcase. Green eyes met mine straight on. “And I don’t want you to find them offensive.”
Oh. Boy. When a man started like that, it was always offensive. “Do your worst.” I was proud I didn’t snarl.
His gaze landed on my breasts.
Lingered.
Instantly, crossing my arms and feeling self-conscious, I did snarl, “I know they’re not big and perfect like your slut’s, but they’re fucking mine, so don’t you dare say anything rude.” That, I could not take.
He muttered, “Jessica is not a slut.”
I snorted.
Ignoring me, he gestured to my breasts and hips, saying, “I honestly find your assets perfect over anyone else’s, and I can’t stand how you hide them under bulky t-shirts, cargos, and albeit adorable, but still immature lingerie.” He glanced at my now wide eyes, and then back to my chest. “I’m a Vampire, sweetheart. I like sexy and seductive.” A single eyebrow rose. “And cartoon characters and baby animals are not that.”
I immediately started fumbling with the buttons on my ‘bulky’ top over my ‘immature’ lingerie, and through gritted teeth, I asked, “And?”
“Bondage,” he stated evenly.
My fingers froze before I even got one buttoned. Oh, dear Lord. “Bondage?” Yeah, it came out a squeak. “As in kinky fetishes with,” my hands fluttered about as I looked up at him, “whips, melted candle wax, balls that go in your mouth, chains, and masks?” I shivered, and not in a good way.
His eyes ran over my face, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Again, I’m a Vampire. I enjoy all acts carnal.”
I blinked.
I wasn’t sure I could do that. Nor did I want to. Visions of what he was talking about filled my head, and I whispered, “Trapped.” He may be a Vampire, but I was mainly Shifter, dammit.
He froze, staring. “Alright,” he said slowly, my freaked expression obviously coming across clearly. “Maybe,” he paused, “we could start with simple fur-lined handcuffs.”
Instant. “No blindfolds?” Jesus, I was seriously sweating. I wiped my brow.
His nostrils flared as he watched the movement, and he instantly nodded. “If that would make you feel more comfortable in the beginning.”
I nodded, and tried to catch my breath. Just handcuffs. I’m sure they wouldn’t be silver. Anything else I could break out of. Sure, no biggie.
I hoped.
“And, my last issue.” His gaze traveled to my slowing pulse. “I would want to bite you while we’re having sex.”
Oddly, that I had a real issue with. “Ezra, I want to feel sex while I’m having it, not be under a damn mind hold.”
His lips parted slightly as his gaze stayed glued to my pulse, and very slowly his fangs descended. Just a bit. “You have no idea what I can do.” His gaze darted to mine, and then back to my throat. “There are different levels I can put you through, some definitely more conscious than others. And all extremely pleasurable.”
Hmm. I crossed my arms. That hadn’t been in the books I’d learned from.
“That’s what I’d need from an exclusive partner.” He licked his lips, dragging his eyes away from my throat, his fangs retracting. Again, his eyes flashed. “Well, that, and the ever elusive fidelity without magic.” His jaw slowly clenched, but he didn’t hide his expression from me this time. He was very much on the fence about this.
Time to put him more on the fence. “I have a few needs of my own you’re not meeting.” With all his demands, a few of mine had come to mind.
His eyes widened in blatant disbelief.
It was hard not to laugh at his expression, but I pointed to the robe lying by the door. “Your clothes bug the shit out of me.” My eyes went below waist level where I could still see him rock hard beneath his jeans. That, I more than loved, but I wanted to see…
“Your ass.” On their own accord, my hands made a gentle squeezing motion at butt height. “You have the perfect ass.” I dragged my eyes to his gaze, which was now cocky with the compliment. “And you cover it with your damn Vampire attire. I don’t mind the robe, but surely there’s something you can wear to not hide your assets.” Hell, my gaze roamed over his chest and arms…and lower. “And leather. I wouldn’t mind seeing it,” my hand gestured to his lower half in a grand circle, “in leather.”
Yeah.
“And?” he drawled, resting further against the bookcase, obviously not minding being the object of my ogling. In fact, he was damn near preening like a peacock as I continued my perusal, lifting his arms and clutching the framework on the upper shelf. Jesus, he was even s
ucking in, making his eight pack show in sharp relief as he widened his stance.
I patted the air. “Down, boy. Down.”
He chuckled softly, but didn’t move from the position, sadly, because my eyes didn’t stop traveling over his fuck-a-licious body.
When I decided my staring and panting were becoming embarrassing, I cleared my throat and made myself look away. And my eyes darted around in surprise, seeing I was now standing directly in front of him. He hadn’t moved, but I had. Oh, goodness. I stumbled back a few steps, mumbling, “Well, you know…just a little finetuning to your clothes.”
“Uh-huh,” he murmured softly, taking a step, following me as his thumbs hooked into the top of his pants.
My gaze followed the motion, his happy trail showing a goodly amount and beginning to move into dangerous territory. Fumbling around for a straight thought about whatever else I wanted to say, I took another step back.
Again, he followed. Stalked. Closing a little more the distance between us.
I pointed a finger against his chest, keeping it there and taking another step back.
Didn’t help.
He gently brushed my finger away and removed the gap between us.
And then I remembered what else I wanted to say, and I practically shouted, “Sex!”
Grinning, he whispered, “Yes, please.”
My mouth opened to argue, but he wrapped his arm around my waist and kicked his leg out and around, knocking the backs of my knees and efficiently making me fall. He fell with me while I squealed — like a girl — as we toppled backward. The wind rushed behind me for all of a second before his grip tightened and he caught me, laying me gently on the lounge couch we had landed on.
I blubbered, “That’s not what I meant, dammit.” I smacked his shoulder for the sake of it.
“But that’s what I meant,” he rumbled, his face going to my neck and biting gently. I was still catching my stunned breath as he lifted on the arm that had taken all of our weight in the fall, his lips against mine as he stated bluntly, “We can figure all this other shit out later. Right now I want my cock buried deep in that sweet, little cunt of yours.” His voice was a low rumble, vibrating against my mouth. “I want to hear you screaming my name in pleasure. I want to feel and see when you lose control.” Leisurely, he licked my bottom lip. “There’s nothing better than when you cum.”
King Cave Page 28
