“Nervous?” Max asks as we ride the elevator.
“Yes, because I don’t handle pain really well.” I laugh.
“From what I hear from Abby and Reagan, you three are golden for Lamaze.” As the door opens we make our way to the office but not before stopping to pee yet again. “I can’t wait until she is off your bladder. We leave thirty minutes early just to be five minutes late.”
“Max, I wish you could experience what I’m going through so I can get some empathy from you.” I roll my eyes as I walk into the office. “Hi.”
“Hi Sarah, how are you feeling?” The receptionist asks.
“Good, a lot of pain and pressure today.” I remark as I sign the papers. “Is she running late or on time today?” She looks around to see Dr. May come out of her office and asks her the same question.
“Sarah, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m feeling very uncomfortable especially when I sit.” Dr. May checks the schedule to see that I am her only patient for fifteen minutes so I can head on back. “There is a lot of pain and pressure too.” We talk as we go back to the examination room. I get undressed and ready for the exam. I put my feet up in those awkward stirrups for her to check everything out.
“Sarah, you are four centimeters dilated and seventy five percent effaced. The head is in position. She wants to come early. I’m going to do is call over to the labor and delivery to get your bed situated.” Dr. May smiles as she gets up from looking into my vagina and feeling around in there to see how much I am dilated. She starts to check out the baby with the ultrasound machine. I hear the whooshing sound of her heartbeat. “She sounds good and is in an appropriate position. I bet you have the baby tonight or early morning.”
“You’ll be with me, right?” My voice quivers.
“Yes, I will meet you all over in delivery and maternity but I need you to call your birthing coaches so they can be with you as well.” I nod as I get dressed. My hands are shaking. “Sarah, I want you to calm down. We have some time before she gets here. My husband laughs at me because I like to be prepared and have everything laid out for me from the beginning. I forget nervous moms don’t like that sometimes. I just don’t want you to be alone in the delivery room without your family.” I thank her for helping me with everything.
“Dr. May, is it normal to be excited and terrified all at the same time?”
“Sarah,” Dr. May holds my hands, “It’s terrifying even with a partner but the end results are a gift that no one can deny you. You’re going to be a mom. Relax and think of the end game.” I walk out to find Max nowhere to be found. I check my phone to see a text from Max that he needed to run, emergency with Abby and Reagan. I sigh as I sit down in the office waiting on Max he told me that he would be back soon. I’m terrified and alone. “Yeah I won’t be doing this alone.” I cry as I stand in the hallway. I walk into the bathroom to try to calm my nerves and wipe my face off.
I’m standing in the hallway waiting for Max since he told me that he would be right back and it was forty-five minutes later and the contractions are getting worse by the minute. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do so I grab my phone from my back pocket.
ME:
Are you at the hospital?
I tap my finger nail against my teeth waiting for a text back. When my phone buzzes in my hand I look down with a smile.
JENSEN:
Yes ma’am. What's up?
ME:
I need to get to labor and delivery and Max left. I’m four centimeters now.
JENSEN:
Where are you?
ME:
Dr. May’s office
JENSEN:
On my way.
ME:
I’m going to the bathroom that is across the hall from her office and then I’ll be in the hallway
OW! I grab my stomach as I walk out of the bathroom. I look up and down the hallway but I don’t see anyone. I know that we’ve never met but I hope that I can remember what he looks like since Jana tells me that they look alike. I hear the elevator ding so I start walking slowly down the hall. My breath catches as another contraction hits me. My cell phone starts going off and I look to see Jensen calling me.
“Are you here yet?” I strain. I see red and white sneakers coming in to my view point as I begin to relax.
“Right here Sarah.” I hear his voice and feel his touch on my back. I stand up to stare into the eyes of the man who has captivated my dreams and gave me my beautiful baby.
“Jensen?” “Sarah?” We both say each other’s name at the same time.
“Oh my god, I’ve been looking everywhere for you since June.” Jensen says. “Wait, that was nine months ago, am I the father?” Jensen’s tone went from sweet to angry. I nod. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Oh I don’t know because I didn’t have your name when you left me in the on call room alone.” I grunt through the pain of another contraction, “Jensen, this is not the time for that conversation. I need to go the maternity ward” I beg.
“When is an appropriate time to talk about it?” Jensen snaps.
“Oh I don’t know maybe after I have her or I’m at least in a hospital bed and on drugs.” I sarcastically say as I grab his hand to squeeze when another contraction comes along.
“Right, I’m sorry. Do you need a wheelchair?” I nod as he tells me to hold on. He walks into Dr. May’s office to grab a wheelchair. “Let’s go.” Jensen says with no emotion in his voice at all. I frown as I get in and he pushes me to the elevator.
Over the months of getting to know Jensen and I’ve come to fall for him but to see the anger in his eyes, I never thought of what the man whose baby I am carrying would be this mad. Jensen is tapping his foot as we wait for the elevator.
“Jensen,” I begin, “I didn’t keep this baby from you. We really didn’t do a lot of talking or exchange names. So do your pouting, tantrum, whatever you need to do but don’t take away this joy from me.” He pushes me into the elevator and hits button for the ground floor repeatedly. “I don’t think that makes it go faster.” Jensen grunts. We start to move then it stops with a jerk. “No, no, no.” The lights go out. I start crying.
“What’s the matter?” Jensen’s voice is back to the calming one that I’m used to.
“It’s nothing.” I sniffle.
“Sarah,” Jensen is face to face with me as I feel his hands on my legs and his minty breath, “what's wrong?”
“I’m afraid of the dark.” I whisper. Jensen laughs. “Don’t laugh. It’s true; I sleep with a small night light in my room.” I laugh as the emergency light comes on and the elevator is glowing green.
“That’s cute.” Jensen says with a smile on his face. “We need to talk.”
“Jensen, I either peed myself or my water just broke.” I groan in pain.
“Okay, do you trust me to check?”
“It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked.” I laugh through the tears. Jensen helps me remove my black leggings and underwear. Jensen lifts me from the wheelchair to lay me on the ground as he pushes my knees apart.
“This will hurt a little bit and feel pressure as I check to see if you are more than four.” Jensen is sticking fingers inside me and sighs. “What’s the matter?”
“I see her head. She’s coming now.” I shake my head no. “Sarah, I’m a doctor. I can do this but I need you calm down. Your high blood pressure.” Jensen starts to breathe slowly in and out so I start to follow them.
“I’m sorry that you missed out on these appointments. I do have a box at home with journals of what I went through daily, pictures from the sonograms and the progress of me with my weight gain.”
“I didn’t mean to be an ass earlier. I was in complete shock but, I went back to talk to you about seeing you again. You were gone. Every blonde woman I saw I thought it was you. I only dated blondes to see if they were you.” Jensen brushes his fingers through my hair. “I need to call using the emergency phone to let them know, okay?�
�� I nod afraid to speak.
“This is Dr. Jensen Causer, I’m stuck in an elevator in the medical arts building with a pregnant woman who is about to give birth. I need you to have Dr. May and labor and delivery here. How long for the elevator to come back on?”
“Two hours. The power is out in the whole building.” The operator on the other end told me with sympathy in his voice.
“That long?” I rest my head on the wall.
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience but I do have that you are in elevator four with a pregnant woman in labor. The whole transformer blew due to a tractor trailer hitting it.”
“Thank you.” I hang up the phone. I look to Sarah who is now laying on the floor crying. I can’t believe the woman that I’ve been dreaming about has been Sarah the whole time. I’m going to be a dad. WTF! How is this going to work? Sarah was a onetime fuck who captivated my thoughts and how I wanted her more than anything.
“OW! Jensen!” Sarah yells through gritted teeth. “What did they say?”
“They are working on it. We need keep you calm and try not to have this baby in an elevator.” Sarah laughs.
“You are a horrible liar. This baby is going to be born in an elevator because I feel the need to push. It hurts really bad.” I decide to check again and I see the blonde hair and I sigh.
“Do you trust me?”
“Jensen, I trust you with my life. Please don’t let anything happen to her, she’s all I have.” Sarah sobs.
“Baby, you have me. You have had me since that day we smacked into each other.” I smile. I take a deep breath. “I can’t believe it’s been you the whole time. Jana is captivated by you. I think she is setting us up on a date after the baby is born.”
“She told me that she wants us to meet.” We laugh. “I feel a lot of pressure and the need to push, can I?” Sarah’s voice is scared.
“Okay I can’t be behind you to support your back so let’s get you somewhat comfortable sitting up close to the wall.” I look down at this beautiful blonde woman who has blood shot eyes, tear stained cheeks and kiss her. “I’ve been dying to do that for nine months. I’ve missed you.” I rest my forehead on hers as she runs her hands through my hair. “I missed you too.” She whispers.
“Okay let’s check to see how our daughter is doing shall we?” Sarah nods with a smile. Sarah spreads her legs so I see that this baby is going to be here sooner than what I had hoped. “Baby, she is coming now and when I mean now, five pushes.”
“We can’t have this baby in the elevator! It’s not clean and what could happen if something goes wrong? I need a doctor!” Sarah yells.
“I am a doctor.”
“I need Dr. May.” Sarah yells. Then it hits me. I grab my phone and dial May. I put the phone on speakerphone.
“Hey Jensen. How busy is the ER with the power outage?”
“I’m in the elevator with Sarah and the baby is crowning. She doesn’t want to give birth in an elevator without you.”
“Sarah, it’s Dr. May. You are in good hands with Jensen and I will be here with you too. Sarah, do you hear me?” Sarah nods.
“She needs to hear you babe.”
“Yes.” She answers through the pain and screams.
“Do you trust Jensen to deliver?” May asks.
“I trust Jensen with my life.”
“Great, what you need to do is focus on your breathing and listening when he tells you to push. Don’t push until he tells you.” I hear May tell someone about getting to the elevator with oxygen, blankets on each level until the power comes on to be there for the baby. “Jensen, you remember your rotation in obstetrics, right?”
“Yea and I have delivered a couple of babies in the ER when you couldn't get there.”
“But it’s different when she is yours.” Sarah says.
“Wait, Sarah is on-call woman?” May’s voice is higher and excitable.
“Yes, Sarah is carrying my baby.” I wink at Sarah who smiles.
“I’m so excited.” May remarks. Sarah yells out in pain as she has another contraction. “Oh sorry Sarah. Remember breathe through the contraction and don’t push with it until Jensen tells you.” Sarah nods as her head leans back against the wall.
“You are doing great Sarah.” I rub her leg. “Now I want you to push when you have another contraction. I don’t want you to push until then. Breathe in through your mouth, out through your nose.” Sarah and I breathe together. I grab her hands so we stare into each other’s eyes. Oh how I have searched for her and when I started to talk to Sarah on a daily basis, I began to forget about the dream girl.
“I’m sorry that I couldn’t find you when I found out that I was pregnant with your child.” Sarah cries.
“Don’t be sorry. We found each other now.”
“Jensen, I love you.” Sarah says as she starts to scrunch her face up with a contraction.
“Remember Sarah,” May’s voice comes through the phone, “Push with the breathing. Breathe in and out. You are doing so good.”
“AHHHHHHHHHH” Sarah’s voice echoes through the elevator. It’s ripping my heart out but I need to focus on the baby. The baby’s head is coming out. Sarah leans her head back with exhaustion.
“May, the head is almost out.”
“Great. Sarah, I know you are getting tired but you need to push hard. It’s going to feel like you are going to poop yourself which is perfectly normal but you need to do it. Once the baby’s head is out then the shoulders will come, and then you will have your baby girl in your arms. Can you do that for me?”
“I can’t. Can we take a break? I need to sleep.” Sarah sighs in defeat. “I can’t do this. I'm not ready.” Sarah cries. I can’t even go over to her to take her in my arms to comfort her.
“Sarah, tell me what it was like to feel her move the first time?” I need to keep her awake and fighting through this need to stop. Sarah’s eyes keep going closed and I know she’s starting to give up.
“What?” Sarah looks at me confused.
“What did it feel like? I want to know everything.”
“It was so weird. It was like this flutter. I remember a time growing up that mine and Abby’s family were away at this cabin for Christmas. There was a mouse,” Sarah chuckles, “it ran across the floor and I screamed. Max being the jerk that he was, picked it up and put in on my stomach. It felt like that. When she first kicked, I was with Jonathan at one of his therapy appointments. He was amazed by it. It felt so weird; but amazing. She sure did love kicking my bladder though.” Sarah laughs and I feel her body start to relax which is great because I know that this is going to be a big push for her. I take off my scrub top so I can wrap the baby in something.
“I remember feeling her kicking you when I was trying to get pictures, do you remember that one Sarah?” May laughs into the phone. “Oh she was being a diva that day. It was her way or no way huh?”
“She has a mind of her own already.” Sarah laughs as she starts to grab her stomach. “It’s another contraction.”
“Sarah,” May’s calming voice is coming through the speaker phone, “push really hard like you are constipated and needing to poop.”
“Eew.” Sarah laughs along with May.
“I know but it’s the easiest way to describe what you need to do. At the start of the contraction breathe and push. Breathing is the most important part of this because Jensen is going to be helping the baby out.” Sarah nods and looks at me. I smile at her and her weakly smile back at me lets me know how tired she is.
“Okay let’s have this baby.” May says. “Count to three. Breathe in the out and push baby.”
“Okay.” Sarah breathes in, and out then screams loud enough to break my ear drums as we are in the closed space. “Push more?” Sarah grunts out and I nod. She takes a deep breath in and pushes as she punches the floor of the elevator.
I guide the baby out, head, shoulders, body. I cradle the baby in my arms. I count ten fingers and ten toes. Sarah is crying as she looks
at us. I gently lay the baby on her chest. The elevator jerks and we go down to the next level. Standing there is May with stretcher and blankets.
“Why isn't she crying? I thought babies cry?” Sarah starts to freak out and the baby must have sensed the panic as she starts to wail like Sarah. Sarah sighs in relief. May is in the elevator with us as she starts to cut the umbilical cord.
““Jensen, you’ve done a wonderful job, can you step aside so I can help Sarah finish delivering the placenta and my staff will need to check your daughter’s vials” May nudges me out of the way as she gets on the floor in the same position that I was, and tells Sarah that she did great. I start to fade out the talking as I’m in another realm watching over Sarah, May and baby.
It’s been about an hour since I delivered my daughter. Wow, I can’t believe it. I got cleaned up in the locker room, put on my extra set of jeans and a t-shirt. May told me what room Sarah was in. Sarah asked that no one gets called yet until we talked and the baby is checked out. I knock on the door to Sarah’s room but no one answered so I poked my head in to see her resting. The baby is sleeping next to her in one of those plastic bassinets that the hospital has so they can be with each other all the time. She is under the lamp for being a little jaundice, which I think is normal. I walk over to her to stare at my beautiful daughter.
“Hi little one. I’m your daddy and that beautiful woman over there is your mommy. You’re going to be so loved. Jana is your older sister and Bennett is your older brother. I can’t wait for them to meet you.” I run my finger over her arms and stop at the fingers to play with them. She grabs my finger. I stare into those beautiful hazel eyes of hers and I start to cry. “I never wanted another child but then I met your mommy and my world changed. I’m making you a promise that we’re going to be a family. Now before she wakes up, I need to teach you that your first words will be Miami Dolphins.”
I pretend to be asleep while I hear Jensen talking to our daughter. I can’t believe that Jensen is Doc. I’ve been dreaming of him since that night. I listen to the words that he speaks and my heart is full of love. Can we be a family? How are his kids going to react to this news?
As Long As You Love Me (Love Me Series Book 4) Page 12
