“Pittsburgh Steelers is the only football team that she will know.” I roll over gingerly to look at Jensen sitting there talking to the baby.
“Seriously?”
“I carried her, it’s in her blood.” I laugh then groan in pain.
“How are you feeling?” Jensen asks with a smile on his face. He is so beautiful.
“I feel like an escalade came out of my vagina.” Jensen laughs, “I wish men could go through this experience.”
“Hey, I had a fever a month ago, you don’t know what that is like, I would rather give birth than deal with a cold.”
“Oh, I am so sorry, I didn’t realize how close to death you were. I’m glad you survived.” I roll my eyes as he laughs.
“So, we need to talk, don’t we?” I feel the move from happy to tense. I nod. “First, what's her name?”
“I don’t know. I wanted to see her before I picked a name. I wanted something to suit her. I had a whole list, June since that's when she was conceived but thought no right away.”
“Well this is February so it’s the month of love, do we want something like that.” I start to laugh and he looks at me weird.
“We could name her Ella since she was born in an elevator.” Jensen laughs too.
“I think it’s a perfect name.” Dr. May walks into the room. “I came to check on the patients and make sure you weren’t being mean to her.” Dr. May gives him a dirty look.
“Ella, I like that.” Jensen says.
“I was joking!” I grimace in pain. “Am I supposed to be in this much pain?”
“Yes, but it will ease in a few days. Have you decided if you are going to breast feed?” I nod. Dr. May goes over to the baby and puts her in my arms and starts to teach me how to breast feed. “It’s going to hurt at first while she learns to latch. You need to relax your body because she will sense everything.” I look down at the baby latching onto my nipple and I can’t help but smile.
“Ella Amanda.” I look up to Jensen to see a reaction. He smiles.
“Why Amanda?”
“My grandmother’s name, is that okay?”
“I love it.” Jensen kisses my forehead. Dr. May clears her throat, “So the official name of the baby is Ella Amanda Causer. Mother’s name is Sarah Edwards and Father’s name is Jensen Causer. I’m not trying to be mean but do either of you want a DNA test?”
“Jensen was my first and only sexual experience.” I whisper and look away.
“Don’t be ashamed, I figured it out during, but I didn’t stop. I needed to be with you then I up and left due to that emergency that needed me.”
“I can vouch that he searched for you. He even went to security for the video but there were no cameras in that area.” Dr. May laughs. I smile at him.
“So now I guess we learn more about each other and figure out how to co-parent.”
“Co-parent? You mean like weekends and a day or two during the week?” Jensen’s whole demeanor changes and which frightens me because it’s an angry one.
“What do you expect is going to happen?” I look to Dr. May who is still in the room with us and looks uncomfortable with this exchange. I feel bad for her but she might be the only one who can play devil’s advocate.
“We are getting married, living together and raising Ella together.” Jensen demands.
“Fuck that shit. You are not telling me how to live my life and raise my daughter.”
“Our daughter.” Jensen leans into me and I cover Ella’s ears, “we will be raising her together.”
“Yes, we will but not in the sense you think. Jensen, you can’t make demands on me and plan my entire life without even considering what I want!” I cry.
“Jensen, can I see you outside a minute? Sarah needs to calm down especially while nursing Ella.” Jensen follows Dr. May out of the room like a child about to get a talking to and I can’t help but feel vindicated that I have someone on my side right now.
“Dr. May, can you ask the jackass out in the hallway if I can call my family?” She nods as she closes the door. I hear raised voices then hushed harsher words. Dr. May pokes her head into see me, “Jensen is going to take a breather so go ahead and call your family. One thing you should know, Jensen is an alpha jackass. He is a great guy but doesn’t think sometimes. Don’t give up on him.”
“Do I need to call a lawyer? He won’t take her from me, will he?” I ask and she looks into the hallway.
“Get in there.” Dr. May pushes Jensen in the room. Jensen comes walking into the room with his tight black shirt exposing every part of his well chiseled stomach and jeans that hang on his hips. God this man is sexy.
“I would never take her from you. I may be an ass but I’m not heartless. My kids grew up without their mother and you’ve seen how Jana clung to you. We’ll figure it out. I need to go tell my family.” I nod my head. “Sarah,” Jensen turns around to face me before walking out of the room, “I love you. I fell in love with you when you put work aside to be there for Jana when I couldn't. I prayed that you were the woman in the on-call room.” With those words, he was gone. I break down crying as I hold Ella extra tight to me.
“I see lots of arguments and tears with your daddy trying to figure all of this out. Remember, you will be loved no matter what. Let’s call your aunts, uncles and grandparents so they can meet you.” I sent out a mass text messages to everyone.
ME:
Come visit me at the hospital.
Room 426.
Ella and I are waiting.
I sent a quick text to Reagan
ME:
Jensen is the dad!
Can you bring the box in my closet marked daddy?
REAGAN:
Get the fuck out! I want details and sure.
ME:
Thank you
I put Ella back in her bassinet and stare at her as she sleeps. I close my eyes to relax some before all the visitors start to come in and keep us awake. For the first time in nine months, I don’t dream of my mystery man but of Ella being happy.
“Sarah,” I feel someone shaking my shoulder and I startle myself, “wake up.” I open my eyes to see my parents standing there holding flowers and balloons. “Where do you want these?” I shrug and my dad takes everything from my mom to set them on the other side of the room where the sink is. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I just had a baby.” I check the clock on the wall to see I was asleep for about an hour. “Would you like to hold her?” My mom nods her head fast. I check my phone.
JENSEN:
Let me know when your family is gone so I can bring mine over
ME:
Okay have you talked to the kids yet?
JENSEN:
Not yet, still in school.
Sorry for earlier
ME:
Nothing to be sorry for; unfamiliar territory for us. WE will get through this TOGETHER.
I put my phone away so I can visit with my parents. “Where is everyone else?”
“They are in the waiting room. They didn’t want to overwhelm you and Ella. She is so precious.” My mom speaks first as she picks Ella up as she talks baby talk to her. Dad kisses the top of my head as he waits for my mom to walk Ella over to him.
“She is the most beautiful baby in the world. Don’t tell Abby.” My dad winks and I laugh. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m sore but the nurses are keeping it manageable. Ella is perfect so I can’t ask for anything more than that. I’m glad that Jensen was near the hospital when I needed someone.”
“Your mom and I were worried when we didn’t hear from you then we heard about the power outage. I don’t understand why you waited almost two hours to let us know.” I’m feeling like that six-year old getting in trouble for stealing a cookie before dinner.
“Dad, I had a baby in an elevator. I needed the time to get checked over and make sure there were no complications for me or Ella. Why can’t you be happy that I called at all?” I sigh in frustration.
“It was a text message not a call.” Dad snaps.
“Please leave both of you. It’s time for her feeding.” I hold my hands out for my baby. My dad pulls open the door so fast that he hits the wall. I jump which makes the baby cry from the jerk movement. I try to hush her with sweet words. My mom leaves without a word. “I’m sorry sweet girl. There will be times where I frustrate you too but I won’t let you feel belittled. Let’s get you fed before aunties Abby and Reagan get in here.” Ella is really taking to the latching on as I hold her up. I rest my head on the pillow and start to cry silently.
“Your dad stormed out of here with your mom so they are staying in the waiting room with my parents until you get over your attitude.” Abby mocks coming in with Ethan. “Ethan meet Ella. She is going to be your best friend and maybe future wife.” Abby nudges me and we laugh.
I explain the conversation to them and she tries to calm me down for the sake of Ella. My parents always know what buttons to push for me. I can’t keep allowing them to do this to me. I thought we were making great strides.
“Jensen, don’t walk away from me.” May says as she follows me to the elevator.
“That woman in there is the mother of my child and now I have to co-parent? Fuck that.” I punch the button of the elevator but it’s taking too long so I decide to take the stares hoping that May doesn’t follow me but she does.
“That woman in there is terrified. She spent the last nine months thinking she was going to be raising that little girl by herself only to find out that the dad will be in the picture. You can’t expect her to say yes to your demands.”
“They weren't demands.” I bark.
“Like the hell they weren’t. You told her what she was going to do and never asked her what she wanted. You’re an ass.” May pushes past me and walks onto the second floor. “God has given you a gift and this is how you treat them? Look in the mirror Jensen, she isn’t Michelle.” May is standing on the lower landing as she looks up to me. She opens the door but stops to turn around, “Congratulations by the way.” I smile as I run down the stairs. I need to see my kids.
I drive to my parents in a daze on how to explain this and not sure how they are going to take it. I look at the clock to see that the kids are still in school so I have an hour to talk to my parents. I get out of the car after parking in the front of the house, I sigh seeing my dad doing some landscaping. He prefers to be outside when the women are doing their hen talking. “Hey dad.”
“Jensen, you’re home early.”
“Today was my day off. I need to talk to you and mom. Is she home?” He nods and we walk inside together. I hear laughter coming from the kitchen. “Two of the most beautiful women in the world.”
“Oh boy. The last time he said that to us, Michelle was pregnant.” I look away. “Can’t keep it in your pants, can you?” My grandmother laughs.
“I met a girl about nine months. It was a onetime deal but she is all that I can think about and I tried to find her. Sarah, who is the interior decorator and Jana's new best friend, is that woman.” I see my mom smiling because she loves Sarah after the way she treated Jana and Bennett. “Today I finally met Sarah face to face at the hospital when she needed someone to take her from May’s office to the maternity ward. She ended up giving birth in the elevator with May on the phone with me.” I pull out my cell phone to show them pictures of Ella. “Here is your granddaughter and great granddaughter Ella.” Dad pulls out the bottle of scotch to toast with me. My mom and grandmother start getting their coats on to go visit. “Slow down. I need to tell the kids first. What am I going to do?”
“What do you mean?” My mom looks confused. I told her the conversation that I had with Sarah and confess I don’t know how I can co-parent with someone.
“I would have ripped your balls off your body and fed them to you.” My grandmother speaks up. “You don’t tell a woman who just had a baby that you are going to marry her. What are you thinking? You were raised to respect women. You have one night stand and get a woman pregnant! Look at me,” I turn to face my grandmother, “I love you but pull your head out of your ass. You say that you love this woman, then act like it.” I stare at my grandmother with no words to say to her. I put my head on the table.
“I think you and Sarah will figure it out.” My mom who is usually the voice of reason can’t even help me.
“May told me that Sarah isn’t Michelle but I’ve been burned so bad from her that I’m scared that I'm not going to be in Ella’s life.”
“Is she yours?” Dad asks as he hisses from taking a drink of the scotch. He hates scotch because he tells me it burns.
“Yes. Sarah was a virgin when we had sex and she got pregnant that day. May did a date of conception. Sarah put together a box of pictures of the ultrasounds, her growing belly, and journals of everything so when she met the father, he would have it. How could I not get her name? I’ve missed it all.” I cry because I feel like a total ass for leaving Sarah that day the way I did.
“Jensen, calm down. Go upstairs, get a shower. You need to get yourself cleaned up before the kids come home. We will go over to the hospital then we can talk to a lawyer if you want or in a couple of days of her coming home from the hospital, see if Sarah would be okay with you staying with her so you can bond with your daughter. You will get this squared away, I promise.” My mom kisses my cheek. “Congrats daddy.” I smile and get up to get a shower. I decide while I’m in the shower that I would pack a bag for a few days to stay in the hospital with Sarah and then camp out on the baby’s floor for a few days if Sarah will let me. I’m sure the kids will be there too after school.
I lay on my bed to replay things in my head but as I’m reliving it, I fall asleep. I think the adrenaline from the day finally kicked in for me. I don’t know how long I was asleep before my mom starts to wake me up.
“Jensen, it’s dinner time.”
“How long have I been asleep?” I rub my eyes reaching for my cell phone.
“Three hours. You were snoring loudly so I thought that you needed it. Don’t be mad at me.” I start to say something but she leaves the room. I check my phone for a text message or call from Sarah. I smile because she sent me more pictures of Ella. There is a voicemail from her.
“Jensen, I know you said that your family would want to come by to meet Ella and I have no problem with that but I don’t need the drama. My dad wasn’t the nicest person to me and it shook me to the core and Ella picked up on it. It took me almost forty minutes to get Ella calm. If they are against this or have opinions on things, please leave them home until tomorrow. Ella is waking up for her feeding so I better go. Talk soon.”
I save the voicemail and call her while I get off the bed to stretch.
“Hey.” I hear her smiling.
“Sorry, I fell asleep. My mom told me that I was snoring loudly so she didn’t try to wake me. How are you feeling?”
“I’m good. Ella is finally sleeping and calm. Reagan is sitting here with me because I need help going to the bathroom.”
“You could have called.”
“I did but I got the voicemail. You needed your sleep too. Reagan being here helps because she is already spoiling Ella.”
“I haven’t told the kids yet but I’m doing that now. Do you want visitors?”
“I wouldn’t mind it. She is half yours.” Sarah laughs. “Reagan brought me that box I was telling you about so you can have that when you get here.”
“I have a question for you.” I don’t sound too demanding. “Do you think it would be alright if I stayed with you tonight at the hospital and maybe crash on the floor of the nursery you have at your place? We have things to discuss.”
“Dr. May yell at you?” Sarah laughs.
“Yes, she did and I need to listen.”
“I would like that and then maybe over the weekend; the kids can come over to stay too.”
“Thank you. I’ll see you in about an hour or so.”
“Bye.
” Sarah hangs up. I sigh as I walk down the stairs to see my kids sitting at the kitchen table laughing with my grandmother about something.
“Nice hair dad.” Bennett laughs as I look into the mirror. I have hair standing up everywhere.
“Thanks, I thought I would go with the Bennett look.” I mess up his hair. “Mom this smells great.” She made my favorite lasagna.
“Uh oh. Is someone sick? Did someone die?” Jana starts to freak out. I look down to see that my mom is using the good china. The good china only comes out when someone died or a baby comes into the family. My kids don’t know that since there haven’t been any births until today.
“Calm down Jana, no one is sick or died. I have some news. Grandma apparently thinks this news warrants the good china.” Jana takes a drink of water and remembers her breathing techniques from her therapist.
“So, what's the good news?” Bennett asks as he shovels in the lasagna.
“Sarah had her baby today. A beautiful baby girl named Ella. I delivered her today. We were stuck in the elevator when the power went out.”
“Can we go see her? I bought the baby an outfit the other day.” Jana asks excitedly.
“Yes, but There is more to the story so wait until I am done. Ella’s dad,” I take a deep breath and I wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans, “is me.”
“Wait, you said that you never met Sarah.” Jana comments.
“I didn’t know her name and before you give me that look,” I point my fork to Jana, “it’s my life and I live it how I want. Sarah and I had one night together and Ella was born from it.” My kids are staring at their plates, pushing their food around. I sigh as I put my fork down. “What are you thinking?”
“I’d like to be excused and go to my room.” Jana says not looking at me. Bennett nods.
“I want to talk about this with you guys.” I’m almost pleading with them. Jana shoots me with the daggers from her eyes.
As Long As You Love Me (Love Me Series Book 4) Page 13
