I hand her the red roses that I bought on the way over here. Jana was specific that I get dressed at my parents’ house and be a gentleman.
“Hi.” Sarah blushes. “Should I go back in to put these in water?” The door opens to Jana holding her hands out for the flowers. Sarah and I laugh.
“Oh wait.” Jana holds up her phone and makes us get together. I love having this woman in my arms. The past few nights have been amazing. We stay up late talking about our childhoods, what it was like growing up in different states, and why we chose our careers. I hold her all night as she traces her fingers across my abs.
“Smile you two.” Jana laughs as I realize that I’m staring at Sarah. I kiss her temple as I see a flash catch my attention and I turn to look at Jana and I smile to see all three of my children in the doorway and I can’t help but smile. Jana takes the picture. “Hey Reagan, come here please.” Sarah yells into the apartment. “Could you take a picture of the five of us?”
“Sure. Say smelly cat!” Reagan says with excitement.
We all in unison yell smelly cat. Our first family photo.
“I definitely want copies of the pictures you took tonight. Now listen to Reagan, Max, and the Edwards’. I love you three.” I kiss all the kids on the top of their heads. Sarah and I start to walk down the steps.
“You look amazing by the way.” I say as I open the door to the Mercedes.
“I love how we match, what a coincidence? You look extremely yummy tonight.” Sarah winks as she puts her seat belt on. We make small talk about what Ella did while I was gone and how her afternoon with her mother went. We pull up to the restaurant that my dad proposed to my mom. I plan on surprising her tonight with the ring. I give the key to the valet as we walk into Russo’s.
The atmosphere is all about love and romance. The lights are low, candles on the table, a man in a tuxedo playing the violin, and a woman who walks around talking in Italian handing out flowers to the women.
“Causer.” I say to the hostess. She smiles up and looks at her tablet.
“Follow me please.” I grab Sarah’s hand and we walk into the dining area. The hostess seats us and informs us that our waitress will be Sheri. We thank her and we look over the menu.
There is a comfortable silence between us.
“Hello, my name is Sheri and I will be your waitress for this evening. What can I start you out with to drink?”
“I’ll have water with lime instead of lemon please.” Sarah says and I order a draft beer.
“You didn’t want a wine?”
“No alcohol with my pills. I don’t know what I want to eat, everything looks so good.”
“We could get one of everything and try it.” Sarah laughs and rolls her eyes.
“Well since you are paying then I might just get the steak and lobster.” I laugh. I’m always laughing with Sarah. We are starting to get into that comfortable friendship relationship whatever you want to call it that we spar each other with our sarcasm. Sheri comes back with our drinks.
“Are you ready to order?” She asks. I look to Sarah and she nods. I’m still looking but I let Sarah order first.
“I’ll take the steak and lobster dinner. I want my steak medium rare. I’ll have the baked potato; can I have cheese and broccoli topped on it?” Sheri nods her head. “I’ll take a house salad with the house dressing.” I smile at her as she sits there smirking.
“I’ll have what she is having.” I tell Sheri. Sarah laughs out loud. Sheri looks confused.
“Inside joke.” Sarah says and Sheri nods her head. I grab her hand so I’m holding it. I need to touch her.
“You look stunning tonight. Thank you for letting me take you out tonight.”
“Thank you for asking me.” Sarah grabs her purse that is on the table and starts rummaging through it. “Damn it mom.” Sarah slams her purse back down on the table.
“What’s the matter?”
“She took my cell phone. I wanted to call to check on the kids. This is my first time out of the house without Ella.” I can see Sarah is getting upset because she’s rapidly blinking her eyes to hold back the tears.
“Baby, I have my phone.” I start searching my pockets and I find a note.
“No cell phones on your first date. Ella is fine with all of us. Check your shirt pocket, Gram Gram, and I made a list of questions. Love you Jana” I sigh and show Sarah the note. Sarah laughs at this note.
“How do they expect a new mother not to check in on my baby?”
“I think,” I pick up the white napkin waving it in surrender and Sarah laughs, “What they are doing is sweet. I promise we will have a talk with them about manipulating us. I do know that Reagan knows where we are and has the number so any problems, she will call.” “I know. I guess I’m freaking out because my parents are babysitting Ella and getting to know the kids.” Sarah freely talks and I let her rant, “I guess I wish that we were there when they were getting to know Jana and Bennett. I can control that interaction.” I rub my thumb in circles on her hands.
“Max is there and can control your parents. Your mom has been making great strides with you and me. I think she accepted me and I’m worthy of being your husband.” I chuckle as Sheri comes with our meals.
“Sorry your salad didn’t come out earlier; the kitchen is slightly understaffed tonight so I’m doing double duty.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. I prefer to eat my salad with my meal because I get full on the salad and never enough room for the food.” Sarah informs Sheri which seems to make her relax a bit as her shoulders to go limp.
“Thank you for understanding. If you need anything else, flag down the hostess or me if you see me.” She smiles and walks away.
“This looks yummy. So, the list of questions, what are they?” Sarah says as she cuts into her steak.
“Let me get it out.” I pull the list out and can’t help but laugh.
1. When are you going to marry my grandson?
2. When are you going to marry my dad?
3. Would you consider adopting me and Bennett once you’re married to my dad?
4. How many children do you want to have besides Ella?
5. Are you going to still work?
6. Where are we going to live?
7. Do you love my grandson?
8. How do you feel about family traditions?
9. Would you ever consider working in the family business?
10. When did you know that you loved each other?
Sarah laughs at some of these questions. “These are some great questions but there is one that you need to answer because I’ve been avoiding asking it.”
“What question?” I’m confused.
“Number six. Only you can answer that question.”
“Why does this have to be a make or break for us?” Sarah looks around and leans in to me.
“Jensen, see it from my point of view. How can I move into a house where you had sex with other women and made a home with another woman? I know that this is the only house your kids know but we are starting to form a family, shouldn’t we be allowed to make it a fresh start?” I try to control my breathing and temper. This is such a hard subject to talk about especially in a public place.
“I can’t change my past and I wouldn’t want to because it led me to you, Sarah. This house thing is a sensitive issue for me.”
“I understand the emotional attachment to your house,” Sarah puts her hand up to keep me quiet, “I made the decision to sell my grandmother’s house; the house where I took my first steps, my first words, my first broken heart, and where she died.” Sarah wipes a tear that was falling. “My entire childhood would be gone because a family needs to live in that house. I know it might not mean anything but there is a door in the pantry that I’m going to save because it has my height from age one and a half to my eighteenth birthday. I’ll hang that door in my new home.”
“What do you mean new home?”
“Jensen, I’m looking at hou
ses. I want Ella to have a yard with a swing set, swimming pool, a room of her own. I found a few houses that I’m going to look at.”
“Without talking to me?”
“I’ve been trying to talk to you about this for a week now. I can’t wait on you to decide what you want to do. I love living with Reagan and Max but I want a home that I can call mine. I wish it could be us making a home together.” Sarah pushes her plate away. “I love you Jensen Causer but I can’t wait on you to understand my feelings.”
“I don’t want to lose you or Ella.” I beg.
“You will never lose us. I love you with everything that is in me but I also need to think what is best for Ella.”
“Why don’t you live with me after we get the rooms done to see if it feels like a home to you?”
“No. I’m not going to change my feelings about this. I guess I’m being selfish. I thought about your feelings and I understand them. I love you and want to spend my life with you but we need to figure out this living arrangement.”
“Can I go with you on the house hunting?” Sarah’s face lights up. “I’m not saying yes but Sarah, I can’t live without you but I won’t make this decision without talking to the kids.”
“I wouldn’t want you to make it without talking to them. I’m looking at houses that have enough room for the kids including Jonathan.” We sit in silence for a few minutes. “Let’s answer the rest of the questions.”
I’m so tired of fighting him about the house situation. I’m going to do what’s best for me. I can’t keep giving into everyone’s wants and forgetting about mine. I moved to Miami for Abby and I don’t have a home of my own. I’m tired of being bounced around from place to place. Ella deserves better.
“So, when are you going to marry my grandson? Jana asked the same question.” Jensen’s tone is flat and uninterested.
“I don’t know. Maybe when he pulls his head out of his ass.” I say as I get up from my seat and ask the hostess for the bathroom, I thank her but I decide to get some air instead. I walk out and sit down on the bench. I stay under the canopy because it’s raining.
I’m sitting here crying as I listen to the rain hitting onto the metal canopy. Should I give in to his demands of living in that house for a little bit to see if I can do it? I see Jensen coming my way as he puts his wallet back into his back pocket.
“Sarah, it’s raining what are you doing out here?”
“I needed some air. I felt like I was being suffocated. You could have stayed in there. I would have come back in.”
“Sarah, what do you want from me?”
“I don’t know anymore. I always give in to what others want and I want my wishes, wants, desires, and needs to be put first for once. I’ll finish the kids’ rooms and we’ll move in. I can get it done by next weekend. We’ll do it your way.” I say as I wipe the tears away. “I’d like to go home.” I start to walk to the car. I needed the fresh air.
“Sarah! Sarah!” Jensen yells after me. I stop in the middle of the parking lot. “There is a valet and they had my keys.”
“I wanted to walk.” The rain starts to turn from a mist to a complete downpour. I look up and let the rain hit me in the face and I laugh. I twirl around in the rain. I feel a sense of calm wash over me.
“Dance with me!” I ask Jensen holding my hand out to him and he looks at me like I lost my mind. “I’ve always wanted to dance in the rain with the man I love.” I knew he couldn’t resist my smile. He goes to his car and puts on a slow song. Once I hear the song, “If I Ain’t Got You” by Alicia Keys. As the music comes from his car he puts down the windows slightly, Jensen comes around to me. As we are drenched dancing with his left hand on my lower back and my left hand in his right-hand close to his chest, we sway to the music. Jensen sings in my ear and he is tone deaf with a horrible voice but he makes my stomach flip flop.
“Thank you for a great night.” Jensen says to me.
“We argued and I left you sitting there alone. I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t be sorry and I don’t want to be the man that makes you doubt not being put first in my life.”
“I don’t want to be first, Jensen. I want my feelings to be taken into consideration.”
“Sarah, I love you and I need you to know that we will get past this hurdle.”
“I don’t want to settle. I know I’ve said it before but I’ve always done what everyone else wanted me to do and now that I have Ella, I have to think about the two of us.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way. This all may be a mute because the kids may want to move.”
“Can we stop talking about the house situation? I want to be in this moment with you.” I ask Jensen and he agrees. I feel his heart racing and once the song ends he looks at me with so much love in his eyes.
“Sarah, I planned to do this an unique way but I think this is a perfect time to do it.” Jensen gets down on one knee in the mud puddle, “I was lost without you and I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I can’t breathe without you. I don’t feel complete unless you are near me. You love my kids as if they were your own and gave me a beautiful daughter. Sarah Edwards, will you do me the honor of being my wife?” I look down to see a princess cut diamond at least four carats surrounded by blue sapphires. It’s the most beautiful ring that I have ever seen.
“Yes!” I jump up and down, “Yes, I want to marry you. I wanted to marry you nine months ago. I love you.” I kiss him. Jensen slides the ring on my finer.
“Perfect fit. This ring has been in my family for a while now. Gram Gram wanted me to give it to the woman of my dreams and she knew it was you.” I kiss him again. We hear clapping as the valet guys are watching us. We wave and go back to kissing.
We look like drowned rats. My once beautiful curly hair is now matted down, my dress is tighter than before, and I can see every ab through his shirt.
“Ready to go home?” Jensen asks me. I nod my head but sigh. “What’s the matter?”
“Tonight, is supposed to be a romantic evening and getting engaged should be ending the night with a night of lovemaking. We can’t do it for another seven weeks.” I pout and Jensen laughs at me.
“It is so hard not to rip your clothes off and be inside you. When I can’t sleep, I watch you sleep. I imagine every inch of your body and what I plan on doing to you as soon as May clears you.”
“Don’t tell me.” I laugh. Jensen kisses me and I shiver. I don’t know if it’s because I’m cold from the rain or because of the man whose lips are on me. Jensen nibbles my ear and works down my neck to my collarbone. This is all we really do right now; this is an intimacy that I never knew existed.
“Let’s go to the apartment and announce the engagement to everyone, plus I miss my little girl.”
“Okay. Let’s go.” Jensen helps me in to the car and we drive back to the apartment.
“Wait.” I grab Jensen’s arm before he can get out. “I want to get married as soon as Dr. May gives us the go ahead.” “I would love that!” Jensen picks up my left hand and kisses it. “I love you.”
“We didn’t finish the list of questions. I’m always going to work because I love design. I want as many kids as we can have. What about the family business?” Jensen shrugs and tells me that is a conversation with Gram Gram. “As far as adopting the kids, I would in a heartbeat but I want to see how they feel after meeting with Michelle tomorrow.”
“Fuck, I forgot about that. Do I have to go?” Jensen whines and then puts his bottom lip out. I rub my hand over his cheek.
“Yes, you do. It will be okay.”
“Will you go with us?” Jensen begs. I shake my head.
“No, this is something for the kids and I would be a distraction. Let’s go. I want to hold my baby.”
We get out of the car and walk up the steps. We stop in front of the door. “Promise me that once we are married that we will still make time for us. I want to keep date nights a must.”
“I agree. This is als
o a clever way to show the kids what you need to do in relationships and what a life can be like when you are with the right one.”
“I love you. I need to get out of this dress. I can’t breathe.” I laugh as I kiss him before walking into the apartment.
“We’re back.” I singsong as we walk in. “What happened to you?” My mother asks as she gets up from the kitchen table. It looks like they are playing that Pie in Face game.
“We danced in the rain and then got engaged.” I say as we walk to my bedroom to change.
“Really?!” Jana squeals.
“Yes, I asked Sarah to marry me and she finally said yes.” Jana and Bennett come over to hug us. The four of us jump up and down laughing. “Okay let us go change and see Ella real quick,” I say.
We get into Sarah’s room and once the door is closed I push her up against the door. I kiss her hard and run my hands up her sides. Ella isn’t in the room; I noticed that the bassinet was in the kitchen with the kids and Elizabeth. “I need to be inside you so bad.”
“I need you.” Sarah pants as she removes her dress and I see how she is completely naked underneath that dress. I grab her by her ass and she wraps her legs around me while her hands are draped over my shoulder, kissing me on the neck. Sarah starts to suck on my neck and bites down hard. I toss Sarah on the bed and go to lock both doors so no one bothers us.
“Can you be quiet?” I ask Sarah and she nods. “Good because this is going to be fast and hard. I won’t last long with you. I am afraid of hurting you though.” I push her hair out of her face.
“I know it’s going to hurt but I’ll deal with that. Please I need you.” Sarah begs. I can’t deny us anymore. Sarah props herself up on her elbows.
“Causer, clothes off now or I’m sticking my vibrator in me to get off.” “My fiancé wants me naked, she will have me naked.” I start unbuttoning my shirt.
“Say it again.” Sarah whispers.
“My fiancé.” I lean into her ear. “You are my world.”
As Long As You Love Me (Love Me Series Book 4) Page 23
