by Hazel Kelly
“And that’s saying a lot because I remember how much you liked Stevie.”
“Stevie was great,” he said, recalling the lizard he’d babysat for a cousin one summer. “But I didn’t love finding crickets everywhere when he was around.”
“Good point,” I said, wrapping my legs around his. “That won’t be a problem with me.”
“I know.” He pulled me close. “Vivian already warned me about your annoying habits.”
My mouth fell open. “No she didn’t! What did she say?”
“She said you wouldn’t know a duster if it smacked you in the face.”
“Unbelievable.”
“Though she promised you’re really cute when you vacuum with headphones on.”
My cheeks burned. “What else?”
“She said you’re always really lazy on Sunday and that you start dropping hints for Sunday night takeout on Thursday afternoon.”
I covered my face. “I hate you guys for having this conversation.”
“She also said you are the kindest, strongest, most supportive woman she’s ever met, and that if I ever so much as bruise your heart, she’s going to have me castrated and hang my balls in Times Square.”
I laughed.
“I already knew that first part, obviously, but the second part came as a bit of a shock.”
“Well, I wouldn’t cross her just in case,” I said. “That woman can make almost anything look like an accident.”
“Yeah, she mentioned that.”
I sent some good vibes her way and hoped Romeo was living up to her expectations. “Is there anything you want to warn me about?”
He twisted his mouth. “I take decadently long showers when I’m in a good mood.”
“I can deal with that.”
“And I don’t like bacon unless it’s extra crispy.”
“That’s not news,” I said. “What about your housekeeping skills?”
“They’re immaculate. Her name is Magda, and she comes every other Wednesday.”
“You’re joking.”
“I wouldn’t joke about Magda. She’s my favorite person. Well, second favorite person now that you’re back on the scene.”
I took a deep breath, my voice escaping in a dreamy tone. “She might be my favorite surprise yet.”
“That’s why I left her for last,” he said, releasing a knowing smile.
I sighed and stuffed a pillow under my head. “So what now?”
He furrowed his brow. “Are you really ready to go again? I know you haven’t tested the top bunk out yet, but I need a few minutes.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I see. Well, personally, I don’t have any plans this weekend besides helping you with your big move and feeling smug about my sexy new roommate.”
“You think she’s that sexy, huh?”
He blew air out from between his lips and shook his head. “She’s like…if women were slices of toast—”
I squinted at him.
“She’d be a slice with butter on it.”
“What a lovely thing to say.”
“She melts when she hits my tongue, anyway.”
“You are so bad,” I said. “If you keep showering me with sweet nothings I’m going to become impossibly spoiled and demanding, and then no one will tolerate me besides you.”
“That’s the plan.”
“So what should we do tonight?”
“I was thinking takeout,” he said. “Since it seems silly to go out after you went to all that trouble putting your clothes away.”
“Good call. Getting dressed would be an enormous hassle.”
“Cooking on your first night would be a chore, too.”
“So true,” I said.
“I considered doing the whole candlelight dinner thing, but I don’t think I can pull that off when I’ve already got my hands full.”
“Full with wha—?”
He reached forward and cupped my breasts before I could finish the question.
I relaxed against his palms. “You’ve thought of everything.”
“Only a million times,” he said, his dark eyes sweeping my face.
“And tomorrow?”
“I’m up for anything. Figured we’d hang out after the movers come if you don’t have to study,” he said. “Though Vivian told me you’ve been an impossible nerd lately.”
“She’s going to get it.”
“Do you think you could spare a few hours for fun tomorrow?”
“Sure,” I said, seeing as how the whole weekend had become a special occasion. “What did you have in mind?”
“So many things.”
“Narrow it down to three,” I said. “Your favorite three.”
He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling before dropping them back to mine. “There’s a new Tarantino film out that I haven’t seen.”
“I know. The previews look great.”
“Equally, it might be fun to find the closest tire swing and spend the afternoon chasing dizzy kisses.”
I blushed. “I can’t believe that’s in your top three.”
“I know we might get some strange looks, but you can’t pay attention to anyone when you’re dizzy kissing anyway so—”
“I’m not totally opposed to that idea, but I fear my stomach might not have aged as well as my enthusiasm.”
“I agree it’s a gamble.”
“What’s the third option?” I asked.
“We go get a puppy.”
My head flinched forward. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“We can’t get a puppy.”
“Why not? We’ve always wanted a family.”
“That’s crazy, Sebastian.”
“It won’t seem crazy when we have eight kids around to walk it.”
“Eight kids?!”
“Did you want nine?”
I feigned a scowl. “You’re only saying that so the puppy idea seems less ludicrous.”
“Is it working?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Fair enough,” he said. “Take your time.”
“Thanks.”
He fixed his eyes on me. “I love you, Lily.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I love you, too.”
He smiled and pulled me close, laying his head on my pillow and bringing his lips to my hairline. “I’m going to love you forever,” he whispered.
I closed my eyes and breathed him in. “I know.”
“Promise me you’ll stick around that long.”
“I promise,” I said. “Easiest promise I ever made.”
He leaned back to meet my gaze, his eyes as soft and kind as they’d been the first time we laid side by side, wrapped in each other’s arms.
And I knew then with a certainty I’d never enjoyed before that I was finally ready to accept his love.
E P I L O G U E
- Lily -
My cheeks were sore from laughing, and my full belly had never ached so much.
It was the kind of Christmas I never imagined might be within my reach, no less cheesy and perfect than the ones in the Lifetime movies my mom used to binge watch during the holidays.
I looked across the room at Paige. She was bouncing baby Seb on her knee and glowing from the excitement around her…though I think her newfound love of Baileys might’ve had something to do with it.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Rodriguez family were making merry all around the room, surrounded by enough pine garland and tinsel that every cozy corner looked like a greeting card.
Lydia was sitting in Javi’s lap, demanding that Mama Rod admit her ugly Christmas sweater was more festive than her husband’s. And on the rug in front of the fireplace, Sebastian and his father were assembling the activity center that Santa left under the tree for the baby.
So no matter where I looked, it was easy to find a smile that would melt my heart.
I stopped rocking back and forth in Mama Rod’
s favorite chair long enough to take a sip of my brandy and port. Then I went back to stroking my new puppy’s soft ears as he gnawed on a chewer he got in his stocking.
Technically, it was Sebastian’s puppy. I’d surprised him with it for his birthday after pretending for months I didn’t want one. But when Javi mentioned one of the guys on the force was trying to home a new litter, I took it as a sign.
When it came time to meet the fluffy pups, I chose the black one, not only because it had his dad’s eyes, but because it reminded me of the one in the doctor’s office the day I told Sebastian everything, the day I faced my fears and survived.
I liked the idea that I would have a physical reminder of that day so I would never forget that it was my trust in him that made what we had now possible. I also didn’t want to forget how hard we both fought to get back to each other, how hard we both fought to forgive me.
After all, if I ever took that journey for granted, I might revert to my old habits of bottling up my feelings and trying to protect him from them. And that wouldn’t do. I had to stay open to him—open to his love—if I wanted us to have a fighting chance.
Aldo dropped his chewer off my knee and jumped down to the floor, causing my fingers to immediately miss his fluffy softness.
When I looked down to see if he wanted to return to my lap, I could tell by his nervous expression that he was trying to figure out where he was supposed to go to the bathroom in this unfamiliar environment.
“I’m going to take Aldo for a little walk,” I said to no one in particular as I scooped him up.
“I’ll come with you,” Sebastian said, patting his dad on the back as he rose from the floor.
By the time I bundled myself up in my winter coat, I was eager to get some fresh air. I was starting to flag from the big meal and the heat that had built up in the house, and I knew I’d need a second wind if I wanted to be competitive at whatever board games came out later. So after grabbing my gloves and hat, I stepped outside and put them on while I waited for Sebastian.
The cold air felt good against my overheated cheeks, and the blanket of white over the neighborhood gave my eyes a nice rest from the abundance of color that had been flooding them all day.
I glanced at the end of the leash as Aldo scrutinized the piles of snow along the freshly shoveled sidewalk, his little black face flexing with every enthusiastic sniff. When he lifted his back leg, I redirected my gaze in time to see Sebastian coming down the icy steps carefully, looking handsome in his broad-shouldered winter coat.
“How good is he for not peeing in the house?!” I asked, unable to hide my pride.
“I’m really impressed,” he said, meeting me on the sidewalk. “I thought all bets were off when my dad poured gravy on his kibble.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“You didn’t see that?”
I shook my head and turned towards the park through force of habit.
“It’s nice out here,” he said, linking his arm in mine and taking the leash.
I nodded. “Yeah. Quiet.”
“Everyone’s too full and drunk to go out.”
I admired the Christmas lights on each house we passed, surprised to see the occasional decoration I recognized from when I lived up the block. “It was sweet of your parents to let me bring Paige up. I could tell before we even finished the cheeseboard that this is the best day she’s had in a long time.”
“Paige is family,” he said. “It would be weird if she weren’t here.”
“It’s a little embarrassing that she keeps asking whose kid Sebastian is.”
“Are you kidding?” he asked. “I think it’s fantastic. Her enthusiasm for the answer is matched only by my brother’s. He’ll never tire of taking credit for that baby.”
I cast my eyes down at the gray sidewalk, enjoying the satisfying crunch of the thick frost under my boots.
“What about you?” he asked. “Are you having a nice Christmas?”
I glanced at his handsome face and smiled. “I’m having a perfect Christmas.”
“Good.”
We turned the corner and the park came into view.
“I got a text from Vivian,” I said. “She and Tiffany are doing a potluck with some other single friends today.”
“That’s nice.”
“I thought so, too,” I said. “But after that feast we had earlier, I intend to be on my best behavior until I secure an invite to your mom’s house for next year.”
He laughed. “Consider yourself officially invited.”
“Are you sure you want to do that? What if I let my hair down and get really hammered the minute we get back?”
“You can try, but you’ll never catch up with Javi. He’s been drunk for three days.”
“Well, it’s nice to see him having a good time,” I said. “Though I admit his style of drunkenness has proved a challenge for me.”
“Why?”
“Haven’t you noticed? He’s been going in and out of Spanish since this morning.”
“That’s not Spanish, Lily.”
I tilted an ear towards him.
“Nobody knows what language that is.”
I laid a hand on my chest. “I feel so much better. I thought I was missing out on half the conversation he was making.”
“You and everybody else.”
“Lydia seems to know what he’s saying.”
He shook his head. “She’s just a better actress than the rest of us.”
“I see.”
“Trust me. By midnight he’ll have you convinced he knows Portuguese.”
“I can’t wait.”
“How long do you think before Aldo sees that bunny?”
I scanned the field of snow around the park until I found the brown speck crouching in the distance. A moment later, our little black speck was pulling at the lead, his four legs leaning sharply towards the fluffy figure.
“I didn’t know his ears could stick up so high,” I whispered, smiling at our little bundle.
“Should I let him go?” Sebastian asked, eyeing the park’s perimeter.
“Sure,” I said. “It’s all fenced in and there’s nobody out. Besides, this is so much more exciting than the pigeons he usually chases at the dog park.”
Sebastian released the leash, and we watched Aldo bound through the snow. Unfortunately, it was too deep for him to get any speed, and the bunny saw him coming from a mile away before darting off.
Sebastian took off behind him once he had a head start, chasing him towards the center of the park.
I followed, my heart swelling with happiness at how blessed I was to be a part of this little family, how blessed I was to be getting a second chance at happiness.
Before Sebastian and I crossed paths again all those months ago, I was convinced I deserved to be punished forever for my mistakes, convinced my penance and my nightmares would never end. But in forgiving myself and discovering that I wasn’t the only one who thought my past could be forgiven, I’d been granted the fresh start that was once a distant dream.
“What did you find, buddy?” Sebastian stepped on the end of the leash and bent over to see why Aldo had stuck his head in the snow.
“What is it?” I asked, making my way through the white powder.
“You aren’t going to believe this,” Sebastian said, dropping to one knee.
“Try me,” I said, reaching his side.
He lifted his face and held up a tiny velvet box.
A lump formed in my throat as he popped it open.
“Let’s jump to the part where I give you three choices.”
My eyes watered against the cold.
“You can either marry me, marry me, or…”
I smiled. “Let me guess. Marry you?”
“Bingo.”
“That’s a tough one,” I said, the diamond between us sparkling like a snowflake.
“By all means take your time. It’s not like I’m kneeling in the snow.”
I laughed. “I
think I’d like to marry you.”
“I thought you might say that,” he said, slipping my glove off and putting the ring on my finger before rising back to his feet.
I leaned forward and kissed him, our warm breath rising around our faces as the taste of sweet port wine warmed us from the inside out. “I love you, Sebastian,” I whispered against his lips.
“I love you more,” he said. “But I’m okay with that.”
“You do not!” I said, pushing his chest playfully.
“Can you prove it?”
“Of course,” I said, glancing down to admire the ring he’d promised me so many years ago. “What do I have to do?”
He nodded towards the park.
I followed his gaze to the tire swing. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
He shrugged. “If you don’t want to, I understand.”
“Your pants will be soaked.”
“Who needs pants when your fiancée is this hot?”
“Fiancée, huh?” I slid my glove back on, enjoying the way the ring hugged my finger.
“It’s either a dizzy kiss or snow angels,” he said. “Your call.”
I looked at him and then down to where Aldo was staring up at us. “I think I’m too tipsy for a dizzy kiss.”
“Snow angels it is, then.”
He scooped me up, and I screamed, kicking my feet as he dropped to his knees again and laid me in a fresh patch of snow.
My thick coat protected me as I sank into the blanket of fluff. “Your mom is going to kill us when we come back covered in snow,” I said, watching as he earnestly began making his snow angel while Aldo cocked his head at us.
“Lead with the ring and she won’t notice.”
I rolled my eyes up to the gray winter sky and fell back, dragging my limbs through the powder with increasing enthusiasm. “Did your family know you were going to do that?”
“No,” he said, rolling over and propping himself up next to me. “I don’t share everything with them, you know?” He dropped his eyes to my lips and leaned down to kiss me.
I laid a gloved hand against his face and relaxed into his warm breath, smiling as I slipped my tongue along his with my eyes squeezed shut.
