by Alexia Purdy
I checked my phone for any calls from anyone, secretly wishing I’d hear from Saul again, but there were no texts, no missed calls. Groaning, I cranked the ignition and let out a slow disappointed breath. Now back to my dark, lonely house to wait for my sister. This time tomorrow, I was hoping to be on a plane back to New York City. Back to Saul.
Driving through the neighborhoods reminded me of so many good times spent here. It warmed my heart but made me miss Saul even more. What if he didn’t want anything to do with me after all? What if he wanted to just talk about being amicable for the band and that was it? I didn’t think I could stand to see him every day at the studios or in concert and not be able to touch him, to love him the way I wanted to.
But I deserved every infliction I incurred. Every last bit of it and more.
By the time I made it back to our house, I’d already begun weeping, letting the tears trail down my cheeks and spotting my shirt. I hated this separation. I hoped he would be able to get past this infarction and forgive me. Nothing would be short of a miracle to have him by my side again. I’d never hurt him like that again. The loss of him was too much to bear, and living through each moment without him was as unbearable as drowning.
I jumped out of the car and hurried into the house and toward the bathroom. After splashing my face with cool water, I stared at my somber reflection in the mirror. Puffy eyes and blotchy face made me wonder who the woman in the mirror was. I hated to admit it, but my actions of late had left me reexamining the person I was. I could change the bad things, I was certain of it. It was the past that haunted me, dug its fingers in, and accused me of not being good enough for Saul, or good enough for anyone. I deserved none of that sort of happiness.
I shook my head and slammed the faucet off. Grabbing a towel, I furiously wiped the droplets away.
I quickly dropped it back on the sink when I heard the familiar chime of my ringtone. Running back into the living room where I’d dropped my purse on entry by the door, I dug through it in the dark.
Finally finding it, I checked the screen, seeing I had missed a call from Liv. I wondered what she needed. She almost never called me, so this was concerning. I hit redial and waited, but it cycled through to voicemail immediately.
At the beep, I started talking. “Hey, Liz, it’s Audrey. You called me? What’s going on? Call me when you can. Bye.”
I swiped the screen to hang up and sighed, hoping my sister was okay. She’d call me back if she needed something. I was sure of it. I stood up and flicked the light switch for the living room and the porch. Peering out the curtains, I watched a few cars drive by and disappear down the road. People had already retreated into their homes for the evening, and the smell of dinner cooking wafted in the air, seeping through the cracks of the windowsill. It reminded me I was starving, especially after moving all our crap to storage.
It was time to start dinner. I hoped Liv would be home soon, because if anything, I didn’t want to eat alone. Not tonight.
Chapter Seventeen
Liv
“Lonzo…please, help me get out of this alive,” I begged as I pressed my back against the wall.
He pulled a gun out of the holster he’d dropped on the bed and checked the chamber. Loading it, he cracked his neck side to side before landing his gaze on me again.
“You don’t want to face them? They both broke your heart. I’d be one angry woman if I was you.” He cracked a smile as if we weren’t in a life and death situation. It wasn’t comforting.
“I don’t want to die. That’s all. I want them to leave me alone, to leave us alone, my sister, Saul…all of us.”
Lonzo narrowed his eyes as he listened. “You know, every person I’ve ever seen come through this family never gets out alive.” His eyes darkened. “Sometimes it’d be nice to shoot them all.”
My face paled. “What do you mean?”
He sighed as he listened for more movement. There were steps above us, like people pacing above our heads. I wondered what Jonas was doing and hoped he wasn’t heading this way.
“You see, you’re not the only lover Jonas ever had.”
My eyes widened. “I know. I wouldn’t have expected him to just have one.”
My gut twisted as I wondered if Lonzo knew about Emilio’s past love, the one Jonas stole from him. At this point, I didn’t even know if it was even a real story. He could’ve told me it to keep me on his side this entire time.
Lonzo let out a haughty laugh but kept it quiet enough it wouldn’t escape the room.
“I know everything about the Esperanza brothers. I know Emilio’s vendetta against Jonas for stealing his girlfriend so many years ago. I know about you and Emilio’s love affair behind Jonas’ back. I know every secret.” He waved the gun as he spoke, making me flinch each time it came to point in my direction.
“Lonzo, what the hell do you want from me?”
He froze, his arms in midair as his eyes widened. Footsteps. Coming down the hall.
“Shit!” My harsh whisper slipped out as I panicked and headed toward the bed. Bending down, I examined the space beneath. It was tight, and I doubted I would fit under it. “Crap! What do I do? What do I do?” I stood up and rammed into Lonzo, grabbing his black tank and attempting to shake him as the panic overtook me. He grabbed my wrists, giving me a shake.
“Shh…” He placed a finger to his lips. I listened hard to whatever it was he was hearing but failed to hear it. That was until I heard the footsteps stop by the door and saw the knob turn.
I gasped, but Lonzo’s hand was over my mouth before we could give ourselves away.
A shout echoed down the hall, and the person outside the door let go of the knob and began to run toward the shouting.
I let go of the breath I was holding, as did Lonzo. He released me and ran toward the window. Instead of opening it, he reached down and pulled out a small piece of the panel near the bottom of window. It wasn’t noticeable to anyone unless you were looking for it.
I wiped tears from my face, barely realizing I’d been crying.
“What are you doing?”
He turned toward me as he hooked a finger into a small hole in the floor and pulled at something.
“Come here.”
I didn’t move. I was afraid of doing anything.
He frowned as he pulled the panel off the wall and set it to the side. Getting back to his feet, he walked toward me and grabbed my arm, not painfully but firm enough I could feel the bones of his thick fingers.
“You asked me what side I’m on. I told you I’m on my own side. That and the side of anyone who Jonas wants to hurt whom I’m close to.”
I stared hard into him, not knowing what he meant or what he was telling me.
“What are you talking about? You’re not close to me or Audrey. Why would you ever be on our side?”
Lonzo pressed his lips together, looking as frustrated with me as I was starting to get with him.
“Emilio! Come down here! You took her from me when you knew she was mine.” A crash made us both flinch. Lonzo let me go and went to the door, unlocking the locks as quietly as he could before cracking it open to peek down the hall. The door faced the living room, and I prayed whomever was standing there wouldn’t see him.
“You stole from me first. You knew how much I loved Anjelica, yet you stole her from me. It’s only fair. You did this to yourself, Hermano,” Emilio hollered back. He was somewhere above, probably on the staircase or just above it. “You get what you give.”
“That isn’t the way of our family. Our father would spit on your grave.”
“Yes, he would, wouldn’t he?” Emilio answered. His voice cracked, the hurt apparent in his words. “He would on yours too, brother. You’ve done nothing but hurt everyone around you.”
Jonas laughed. Yes, he had to be drunk. I’d never heard him so upset, even when I’d first encountered him face to face in the back of his car, drugged and coerced into a deal that would forever change my life.
> “You’ve left me no choice, Emilio. I loved you, yet you stole what I wanted the most. I can’t have that in my business. There is no traitor left alive. You knew that. Those are the rules.”
“Fuck you and your brotherhood rules. They only apply to everyone else but yourself. I don’t need you,” Emilio hollered. A moment passed with silence before a shot rang out.
Then all hell broke loose.
More shots rang out, not only aimed toward the staircase but ricocheting into the hall and hitting the door.
Lonzo slammed the door shut, locked one of the locks, and dropped to the floor where I had just done the same.
“Fuck! They’re killing each other out there!”
My shoulder burned, shooting sharp pains into my chest. I reached over to rub it, afraid I’d hit it hard when I fell to the floor. My hand came back wet and crimson and my mouth dropped open as I realized I’d been shot.
“Lonzo?” My hand shook, the pain turning up in intensity as the moments ticked by. The shots ceased and popped now and then. I wondered who was alive or dead. Was I either? I chanced a peek at my arm and found that I’d been hit in the flesh of my upper arm. I couldn’t tell if it’d gone through it or not, but already, I felt like passing out.
Lonzo creeped over and crouched over me, examining the wound.
“I think it’s lodged in your arm. Can you move it?”
I shook my head, feeling faint and sweating profusely.
He reached over for his shirt, swiping it off the bed. He ripped it into a long piece and wrapped it snuggly around my arm.
I groaned with each movement and almost passed out when he tied it tight.
“Okay, you have to get out of here. I have to see what’s going on. If Jonas thinks I’m here, he might turn against me. If he doesn’t find out I’m here, I might stand a chance to talk to him. You have to go.”
“How the hell do I get out of here now?”
Another loud shot, followed by a loud thump like a body dropping, made us both duck again. My arm screamed in pain as I moved though I tried and failed to keep my motions slow.
“You can make it. Come on, over by the window.”
He reached the window and pushed at the remaining wall. It fell forward with a small thump into the grass below.
Of course. A secret escape route. Great.
“Come on!” he hissed, dragging me over to the opening. It was small, narrow enough for him to get out, so it had plenty of space for me to drop out of.
He peered through before helping me out. I felt the ground only a few feet from the hole. Thank goodness his room was on the bottom floor, even though it was somewhat elevated.
I crouched in the grass, looking around to make sure there wasn’t anyone else around. It was clear. The fight was going on inside the house. Looking back, I found Lonzo picking up the panel and hopping back inside to replace it.
“Wait! Where are you going?”
He grinned and winked. “This is all I know, all this bad blood. There is no changing my life. Maybe in another life, we’ll meet again. You…you go home. I’ll make sure whomever makes it through doesn’t bother you again. You just stay away from them both. You hear me?”
I nodded, my bottom lip trembling from the chill of the night and the aching throb in my arm.
“Oh, and here, Liz,” he tossed my purse out the opening, then paused to look at me one last time before sealing the panel again.
The night felt even more desolate as I stood in the middle of the back yard, alone once again.
I was stuck on my feet, afraid to move. Another pop of a gun, and I snatched up my purse before turning to run toward the fence surrounding the property. I hoped there’d be an opening somewhere to go through because I doubted I could make it over the damn fencing without passing out from pain. My tiny plea for help was answered in an unlocked gate. I slipped it open, my fingers barely cooperating as I smeared a tiny smudge of blood on the metal. Wiping it off as best I could with one hand and my shirt, I closed the gate behind me, peering around to make sure no one saw me, and scurried down the alleyway, away from the hell of that night.
When I was blocks away and feeling like utter hell, I slipped into a cluster of bushes that badly needed a trim. There, hidden by prickly branches, I yanked out my cell and hit Audrey’s number on speed dial. The evening had turned into night, even though I could still see some of the sun’s last rays sinking beyond the horizon. It rang and rang, until it clicked to voicemail and I ended the call.
Dammit, Audrey. I needed her, and she was nowhere to be found. Great.
I struggled back to my feet and stumbled through another alleyway, hearing voices in each house I passed, filling the air with laughter, chatter, and squealing children. The sounds of happiness I’d never know filled my head as I made my way. I moved away from the inferno that’d been my life and the truths that dug into my core like ice picks, never to let me go.
Chapter Eighteen
Audrey
I’d gotten to Liv just in time, finding her limping down the alleyway after a nasty stumble. She’d lost a lot of blood and was looking deathly pale. I’d finally gotten her on the line, and she told me where she was, so I’d raced down there as fast as the damn L.A. traffic had let me.
I prayed I wouldn’t be too late.
Sitting at the hospital ER waiting room, I watched them scoop her up onto a gurney and rush her into the back, telling me to give the clerk all her information and wait there. I’d done as they’d told me to and settled into one of the hard shells of a chair to wait what felt an eternity for Liz’s prognosis.
Waiting was worse than torture.
The hour turned into two and then three. I kept bothering the clerks for updates, and when they had none, I had to restrain myself from shoving the sign up boards and paperwork off their desks. I wanted to shout at them to find out what was going on. I needed to know. It was a matter of life and death, and I would not leave them alone until I knew if my sister was alright or not.
Instead, I quietly retreated to my chair to wait even further.
This was the loneliest and lowest moment of my life.
I’d sworn I’d take care of Liz, keep her safe, fed, happy, and thriving.
I’d failed.
I leaned forward and dropped my head into my hands. I failed our mother, Liz, and Saul. Nothing could ever make this moment better for me. How had it come to this? I should’ve fought harder for her to stay away from Jonas…from Emilio.
Instead, I’d let her do what she wanted—run amuck with lovers, drinking, shoving the drugs down her throat like there was no tomorrow. She lived like she wouldn’t ever have to answer to anyone, and it’d come down to this.
What if she died? I shook my head and sat up, swallowing down my devastation. No…she couldn’t die. She’d fight, wouldn’t she? She’d make it through somehow. No matter what shit she’d gotten into, she’d gotten herself out of messes as big as this one before. She had to do it again. She had to. There was no other option, and I’d be here to push her until she woke up and spoke to me again.
And then, we’d move on without the trouble of the Esperanza brothers and the insanity surrounding them. We’d finally be free.
I fished my phone out of my purse and hit Saul’s number. Every ring made my heart race faster in panic. If he didn’t answer his phone, I’d fall to pieces. There was just so much I could take, and this was it. My resolve was about to break as the last ring began. He wasn’t going to answer. He was going to let it go to voicemail where I’d sound like a babbling fool, begging him to come here and save me. Save us.
We’d given him a ride out in the middle of nowhere, not knowing who he was or what his motives in life were. But I knew now why he was there and why we were destined to meet. We may have saved him with a ride, but he’d truly saved me.
“Audrey? Are you alright?”
His voice made me suck in a breath, not realizing I’d stopped breathing.
“Saul…” I
tried to keep it together, but I couldn’t. Bursting out crying, I tried in vain to sound coherent. My words were a mess as I explained what happened and where we were.
“I’ll be right there. I’m out the door on a plane right now to get to you. I’ll be there in couple of hours. Can you wait for me?” I heard him shuffling around his place, probably throwing on shoes and a jacket. He’d leave with just the shirt on his back. That’s the kind of person he is.
“Yes, I’ll wait. I’m not going anywhere. They haven’t told me what’s going on with Liv yet.”
“I’m sorry to hear all this. I’ll be there soon, okay?”
“Okay.” The line went dead, and I dropped the phone back into my purse. My face was a mess, my nose dripping like a leaky faucet. I jumped to my feet, eyeing the tissues on the clerk’s desk. Snatching up a couple more of them, I sighed as I waited for them to return so I could pummel them for the millionth time about Liv.
“Miss Westing?” A doctor in blue hospital scrubs and a black stethoscope dangling from his neck came out a set of automated double doors and scanned the waiting room.
“That’s me!” I hopped over, wiping my face with the tissues. “My sister…Liv…is she okay?”
If he said no, I wasn’t sure what I’d do.
He gave me a sympathetic smile and waved me over. “Come with me, please.”
I was going to break down soon. One step in front of the other, I willed myself to follow.
Please let Liv be alright.
*****
The glare of the sun poured through the window, and I reached up to pull the blinds closed. The day was warmer than the ones prior, but it amplified the smog hanging across the horizon over the city. The view wasn’t anything special, but it was calming for once.
