Forbidden Desires

by Jodie Griffin

  She barely made it to the hallway before Marcus came up beside her, stopping her with his hand on her arm.

  “Wait, Bella.” He looked around, swore under his breath at the curious eyes watching them, then ushered her into a dim, mostly deserted hallway. “I don’t want you thinking you did something wrong.”

  She couldn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes. “Riiiight. The old it’s not you, it’s me thing.”

  The corner of his mouth tilted up in a slight grin. “Oh, you’re wrong there. It is all you.”

  At her glare, his grin widened. It turned downright wicked as he backed her up against the wall and stepped close. He braced his arms on either side of her head, essentially caging her where she stood. She felt trapped, but for the life of her didn’t know whether she liked it or not.

  He leaned in and spoke softly in her ear. “You paying attention?”

  She swallowed hard and nodded. Shivered, too, as his breath danced across her skin.

  “Good. I wasn’t bothered by what you said. Just surprised. And to be honest, I was embarrassed, but not for the reason you think.” He shifted slightly, bringing his body closer to hers.

  He came no closer than two people dancing a first slow dance, but close enough for her to feel the thick, hard ridge of his undeniable arousal behind the button fly of his jeans.

  He wasn’t acting like any man she’d ever known. He hadn’t taken advantage of her startling admission by trying to charm his way into her pants. And he hadn’t gotten angry or disgusted. Surprisingly, his actions didn’t make her uncomfortable, either. She didn’t like it when a man pulled rank, acting all macho and I’m the boss. Dominant men did not trip her trigger.

  Usually.

  But there it was. She was attracted to him, in all his take-charge glory, although she hadn’t guessed the feeling was mutual. She hadn’t really thought much about it, but the hard proof was there for her to feel. “Oh.”

  “Oh. And I’ve got to tell you, the timing sucks.” He stepped back from her and sighed raggedly, scrubbing his face with his hand. “For many reasons.”

  Bella bit her lip and stifled her disappointment. “I understand.”

  Marcus laughed ruefully. “I don’t think you do. I don’t want to flash an erection around your wild friends, because who knows what they’d say or do.” His handsome face turned serious. “But more than that, I just got out of a relationship, and it didn’t end well. I got distracted at work, and that wasn’t good. I can’t go through that again. I swore off women for a while, yet here I am, looking at you.”

  “Why?” The minute the word left Bella’s mouth she wished she could call it back. Hadn’t she put him on the spot enough tonight?

  He tucked his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “Why not you? Maybe I’ll regret this later, but in spite of the week-long argument I’ve had with myself about my priorities, I’m interested. Go out with me Friday night. On a real date. Dinner and a movie, just the two of us. No chaperones, as wild as they are. What do you say?”

  “I should say no, shouldn’t I?” His obvious dominance notwithstanding, she was too tempted by him and his honesty to turn him down. “But I don’t want to. So, yes. It’s a date.”

  Chapter Two

  For the hundredth time since she’d said yes, Bella wished she’d told Marcus no. What was she thinking? They were so different. She was a librarian, and he was a firefighter and a paramedic. He was an alpha kind of guy and she’d bet he was an adrenaline junkie. She didn’t go for men like that. She should have given him the out he probably wanted, and maybe even needed. He’d sounded so serious when he’d talked about how he’d screwed up at work.

  But the truth of the matter was, he was the first man in far too long who’d caught her interest in more than just a physical way. Oh, yes, he was sexy. But damn it, he seemed nice. How long had it been since she’d been with a man who was just...nice? She snorted. Had she ever been with a man who was just...nice? Trent hadn’t been. Not once he knew—

  No. Bella forced herself to squelch the memories. She looked around and sighed at the mess in her bedroom that matched the one in her head. She’d changed her clothes about twelve times, and the rejects were piled high on the chair next to her closet. No outfit seemed quite right for a first date with a man she’d already told she was imagining naked.

  Except maybe bare skin and a smile.

  She pushed the too-tempting thought away and finally settled on a pair of jeans, her favorite boots and a black cami with a sheer black blouse over it. She spritzed on some amber-scented body spray that matched the lotion she’d slathered all over her body, took one last look in the mirror and shrugged. This was as good as it was going to get.

  The doorbell rang right on time and, in spite of her resolve to keep things casual, the butterflies in her stomach took flight. She sucked in a deep, calming breath to settle her nerves and opened the door.

  She shouldn’t have worried.

  Marcus stood there, looking gorgeous and, surprisingly, a little unsure of himself. It was both charming and incredibly flattering.

  “Come on in.” She opened the door wide and stepped back. As he walked by, she took a whiff of the woodsy aftershave he was wearing. God, he smelled great. Looked great, too, in the male version of her outfit. Snug shrink-to-fit jeans, black boots and a white T-shirt covered by a soft-looking black V-neck sweater. Around his neck he wore a black braided leather choker that put all kinds of wicked thoughts into her head.

  He leaned in and placed a lingering kiss on her cheek. “Thanks. You look incredible.” His voice was made for sex, and it made every be good thought fly out of her head. “The movie’s in an hour. Are you ready to go?”

  She wanted to say no. Forget the movie, Marcus. What I really want to do is drag you to my bedroom, strip you down, tie you up and have hot, sweaty sex with you all night long. But she behaved.

  “Sure.” Mentally, she winced. Her voice sounded breathy, even to her own ears. “I’ve been looking forward to seeing this one.”

  * * *

  Marcus narrowed his eyes on Bella as she unlocked her door and led him inside. She’d been animated all through dinner but, now that they were alone, she looked unsure of herself. They stood in the hallway together in tense silence, so to break the ice, he tugged lightly on the collar of her sexy-as-hell black shirt. “Hey, you. Nothing’s going to happen tonight that you don’t want to happen.”

  Her eloquent eyes grew wide.

  “You got quiet.” He shrugged faintly and smiled. “I’m having a great time getting to know you, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking about going to bed with you tonight. But since I’m not planning on this being our last date, I’m not all that worried. What about you?”

  She shook her head mutely, and he laughed.

  “Bella, relax. I’m not going to jump your bones.” He waggled his eyebrows and leered at her. “Unless you order me to. Then I’m all over it. I’m good at following commands.”

  Bella’s eyes flashed with sudden heat that stabbed him low in the gut, and her face grew pink. “Tempting.”

  His gut tightened even further.

  She led him into her living room and, reaching out her hand to his, drew him toward the oversized sofa in front of the fireplace.

  “Ah. Real furniture. Much better than the itty bitty Victorian sofa my sister has.” He shuddered dramatically, but it wasn’t all feigned. “I’m afraid to sit on it. Every time I do, I hear this little creak...”

  Her laugh burst free, so open and vibrant he couldn’t help himself. He tugged her into his arms and, before she could protest, he slanted his mouth over hers.

  Jesus, the taste of her nearly knocked him to his knees. Her lips felt warm and soft and tasted of the Japanese tea they’d had with dinner, covered by a slight hint of
almond from the cookie she’d nibbled after their meal. When she gasped, he deepened the kiss and wound one hand into her hair, tugging her up against his suddenly aching dick. He rubbed rhythmically at the small of her back, urging her closer to him. She shivered, but she wasn’t the only one.

  And then Bella slid a hand between them and pushed lightly against his chest, breaking their contact. She was breathing hard, but her words were soft and precise. “Stop. Ask first.”

  He jerked in surprise and blinked. That kiss had sucked all the oxygen from his lungs and maybe even his brain. “What?”

  “Ask me if you can kiss me.”

  He cursed under his breath. He’d have sworn she was as into the kiss as he’d been, but obviously he was wrong. He stepped back, putting a little space between them. “I’m sorry, Bella. I didn’t mean to push so hard. I thought... I’m sorry.”

  She stared at him for a long moment, really looked into his eyes as if she were taking his measure. “You didn’t. But I like it when men ask.” She took one step forward, twisting her fingers around the choker he wore, tightening it slightly against his throat. Her eyes gleamed brightly, and her sinfully sexy voice was a low drawl. “Actually, I like it when they beg.”

  He nearly stopped breathing. Jesus H. Christ. Her bold words and the feel of her hand against his neck roused something in him, something he’d buried deep while he’d been involved with Teresa. Something he’d thought he’d buried forever, so deep he wasn’t sure it existed anymore. He wasn’t even sure he wanted it to exist anymore, although his body was interested.

  Frozen in place, lost in memories, it took several beats for him to answer. He must have hesitated too long.

  Bella’s face was ashen. “Oh, God. This was a bad idea.” She removed her hand from his neck as if his choker burned her fingers, but damned if he didn’t want it right back there.

  “Bella, I—”

  Before he could finish, she turned her back on him and stared out the window into the black night, cutting him off. “You should go now.”

  “Bella—”

  Her voice was flat, almost defeated. “I should never have said that.”

  “Bella.”

  He’d made his voice sharp on purpose, and finally she turned around. The ultra-confident woman from earlier tonight was gone, and Marcus swore under his breath. Her eyes had a resigned look in them, and her shoulders slumped. He couldn’t, in good conscience, let her believe she’d done anything wrong. In spite of his own convoluted feelings, regardless of the fact that this could be a very, very bad idea for him personally, he acted on instinct.

  He stepped forward, dropped to his knees, clasped his hands behind his back and lowered his gaze to the floor. “My apologies for not asking permission first.”

  Dead silence.

  Marcus tensed, bile burning a hole in his stomach. Shit. Maybe he’d read Bella wrong. Maybe she hadn’t really implied that she liked her men sexually submissive. Maybe she’d just been upset because she thought she’d stepped over the line. Maybe she’d been teasing.

  He swore silently. And maybe—more likely—he’d just made a total and complete ass out of himself.

  When her hand touched his head, his mind went blank and his frantic thoughts came to a crashing halt. He squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath, waiting.

  * * *

  Bella stared at Marcus’s kneeling form in absolute stunned silence. God, was there anything sexier than a strong man on his knees? She didn’t think so. But he had to be goofing around. He had to be. He was too alpha a guy to be serious about being a submissive. When she spoke, her voice was as shaky as the hand she’d laid on his head. “Marcus, you don’t need to pretend—”

  He reached out and curled a hand around her ankle, and her words choked off in her throat. “Did you mean it? Or am I making a fool of myself?”

  Even though her mind was still reeling from the revelation, she could tell he was serious by the roughly uttered words. Not that she could see his face. He was still staring at the floor. A thousand different thoughts raced through her brain, but one stood out above the others. Marcus had taken a huge risk, and she owed it to him to take the same one. She swallowed hard and forced the words out. “I meant it, but—”

  He tightened his hand around her ankle. “No buts.” He looked up at her and held her gaze for a long minute. Slowly, deliberately, he lowered his head until his lips touched her booted foot.

  Oh. My. God.

  The view from where she stood was incredible. The long, wide slope of his back, the delicious curve of his rear—she could just imagine how he’d look naked, in the same position. That vivid picture was going to keep her fantasies going for a good long while. She took a moment to enjoy the view he’d offered to her, but she didn’t allow herself to look for long. “Marcus, please. Let’s sit down. We need to talk.”

  He stood in one fluid move, then scooped her up in his arms and sat down on her sofa, turning her so she straddled his lap. She blinked like an owl at the shift in dynamics. One second, he acted submissive. The next, dominant. It confused the hell out of her, but some things were obvious. The way they were seated, she couldn’t help but feel his impressive arousal beneath the button fly of his jeans. If she needed proof he was turned on by what they’d both just admitted, that was it.

  “Are you a Domme?”

  “Do you consider yourself a submissive?” she asked at the same time.

  She couldn’t think clearly, the way she was sitting, so she slid off his lap and curled up on her knees, facing him. She reached out, hand palm up, and he laid his in hers. “You first.”

  He winced. “Really?”

  She laughed lightly, then sobered. “Okay, me first. No. I don’t consider myself a Domme. I just like to call the shots. Does that make me one? I don’t know.” She searched his face, but the look on it was indecipherable. “What about you?”

  “Am I a Domme? No.” He was grinning, but the humor looked forced. When she didn’t laugh, he sighed. “Am I a submissive? Maybe? I know that’s not a good answer, but I don’t have a better one. I like to give up control sometimes, but not always.”

  Bella reached out and cupped Marcus’s cheek. He turned into her hand and kissed her palm. Then licked it, sliding his tongue between her fingers. She shivered, and her nipples tightened. “Behave.”

  “Or else?”

  She raised her eyebrow. “Like the idea of punishment, do you?”

  “Maybe?” He shook his head and smiled wryly. “This is one hell of a heavy conversation for a first date.”

  “No kidding.” She looked at him, at the casual way he lounged against the back of the sofa, but realized he wasn’t as relaxed as he appeared to be. “There’s more to this then you’re letting on, isn’t there?”

  His eyes flicked to hers, and he nodded shortly. “Yeah.”

  “Me too,” she admitted.

  He squeezed her hand. “Want to talk about it?”

  “Maybe it makes me a coward, but no, I really don’t. Not tonight.” Relief flashed across his face, and she smiled, linking her fingers with his. “Right answer?”

  “Most definitely.”

  Chapter Three

  Jesus, he was exhausted. Finally finished with the four-day shift he thought would never end, Marcus lay in his bed in the dark, horny as hell. He stroked his dick, wondering if it was too late to call Bella. He turned his head and looked at the clock. Eleven-thirty on a Friday night. Definitely too late. But it had been almost an entire week since he’d seen her, although he’d spoken with her several times.

  They talked about normal things. Their days, the weather, what movies were coming out, what books they wanted to read.

  They hadn’t, however, talked about the fact that she’d wanted him to beg, and he’d fallen right to his knees as
if he’d done it a million times.

  Christ, just the thought made his dick hard as stone. But it also made his stomach twist. He knew—in his head, anyway—that being sexually submissive on occasion didn’t mean a guy was weak or less of a man, but years of conditioning told him otherwise. Either way, he’d spent far too much time this past week thinking about Teresa, which was all tied up in the colossal screw-up he’d had at work. Tied up. Yeah, those were the right words.

  His phone rang, and with his free hand he hit the speaker button, not bothering to check caller ID. With his luck, it was work. Especially at this hour. “Aiello,” he said, still idly stroking himself.

  “Marcus, it’s me. Bella.”

  His hand tightened over his erection. Her voice was low, sexy, sleep-roughened. “Hey, Bella. You sound tired.”

  He heard her yawn over the line. “I fell asleep on the couch watching a movie. I woke up when the news came on. I heard them talking about a big accident on the highway. They said a paramedic was hurt.” Now it wasn’t just sleep he heard in her voice. Now it was worry, too.

  He was an idiot. “I’m sorry. I should’ve called.” Shit, he should’ve called his parents, too. His fucking head wasn’t on straight—again—and wasn’t that the last thing he needed? “Wasn’t me. I was there, but it was a guy on another squad. Someone drove too close to the accident scene and clipped him. He’s got a broken leg, but otherwise he’s fine.”

  “I’m glad you’re okay. I should let you get some sleep.”

  “I’m too wound up to sleep.” He tucked one hand up under his head, bent his knee and continued to stroke himself, waiting for her to respond.