Kinesis

by Irene Wendy Wode

  There was a pause while Toto processed. Then the robot came over and prodded Waverly's shoulder with the end of his limb.

  "Waverly, will you make me peanut butter cookies?"

  "You know you can't actually eat, right?"

  "Just a matter of time, Waverly. Just a matter of time."

  "You're not gonna make that breakthrough in time to eat this batch of cookies," Waverly said, but he got up, chuckling. Baking sounded okay.

  The cookies were for Waverly, of course, as was the request. It was so much easier for Waverly to do something at Toto's urging, to please the bot, than to do it simply for his own sake. So Toto had learned to ask for things when Waverly needed them most.

  He baked for everyone he dated—it was one of his few strengths in the dating arena—but being in the kitchen still reminded him of his grammy more than anyone.

  It was a peanut butter cookies sort of day. A day to make the whole kitchen smell like sweet, filling, home-baked goodness. A day to remember that there had once been someone who he was always enough for.

  Peanut butter cookies were the first thing his grammy had ever taught him to make, and it took many batches over many years, but he'd finally gotten it so he could make her recipe just as good as she could.

  This was a recipe he didn't end up sharing with many people. Not because he didn't want to, but because it was what he made on days when all he could do was curl up in his favorite chair by himself, and pretend he wasn't alone.

  Between Toto and his grammy's cookies, he almost wasn't.

  *~*~*

  It was the wee hours of the morning, and the bathroom was empty, for the moment. This wasn't anywhere Okka wanted to be, xe thought as xe looked around at the utilitarian, worn, and slightly grimy place. But it was as good a place as any to be a stop on the way in someone's journey.

  Stepping into Nifu's parlor had made everything feel less urgent, but xe couldn't have stayed there. Couldn't do nothing while xir people were enslaved and the Cewri threatened to overtake the galaxy.

  There had always been Mimica on Earth. There was a chance—a slim chance, but still a chance—that Okka could find another Mimica with a mission on Earth and stop them from reintegrating with the Collective and falling to the Cewri.

  It was the only thing xe could think of to try. Xe wouldn't feel settled until xe had another Mimica to confer with, to bond with in the absence of the Collective, to help xem make a long-term plan.

  So, xe would go undercover on Earth. Xe'd done it before. But thanks to the way time moved while xe was on Avla, that had been ages ago on Earth. Xe had watched Nifu's windows carefully to see what kind of world xe would be living in.

  Xe needed to be average—but there were many ways to calculate an average. There were a wide range of hair colors, but black hair was by far the most common, both planet-wide and in this particular city, if the people on the streets as he watched were any indication.

  Myrdu's hair was greying, which was also common, but xe didn't know how long xe would be on Earth. It might be a long time.

  And xe wasn't Myrdu.

  It struck Okka for the first time that xe was choosing a set appearance for a lifetime that would not be a sealed box, as Myrdu and the others had been. Xe was choosing a set shape for xemself. Xe wanted it to reflect that—as much as a set form ever could.

  Xe had no gender. From what xe recalled of Earth culture, that might prove a problem. For a set of monomorphic species, humanoids got hung up about the strangest things. Lately there had been hints that some parts of Earth had loosened their interpretations, making them a little more open than what Myrdu had grown up with on Avla, although probably not open enough to be relied on. But if xe chose an appearance based solely on xir own preference and not on any particular gender and let the humans assign their own values to it, that would probably do.

  Chuckling, xe realized xe didn't even know which kind of bathroom this was. Well, it was empty and there was a mirror. That was all that truly mattered.

  Xe put something together, shifted into that form, and looked in the mirror to make adjustments here and there. A rounder face than Myrdu's, this time, and rounder in general. The long leanness of him had come to represent desperation and loss, so Okka wanted xir newest life to be softer, more substantial. But then with the shape of xir hair, xe made a contrast to that, a nest of unruly black spikes that was a study in sharp lines and acute angles.

  Xe absorbed Myrdu's clothing into xemself and adjusted it right alongside xir body to suit xir tastes and what xe knew of the styles of Earth. It would have to be comfortable, not just in its fit but in its personality, and the way it went with who Okka was right now.

  Okka spent a long time in front of the mirror, tweaking small things here and there. Xe did not know how long xe would be living in this form, and xe wanted to have at least some affinity for it.

  *~*~*

  Okka had always been a quick learner, but Earth was equally quick to change. Studying the languages through the windows in Nifu's realm could only prepare xem so much. The way time passed on Avla meant that every weekend visit was separated by years on Earth. And Earth hadn't been the only world they'd watched.

  But Okka thought xe could get along. Money and a bed were the first priorities, which Okka achieved through the probably legal but otherwise questionable means of selling xir Avlan coins in a place with a big friendly sign telling xem that they bought gold, and then asking around that area until xe found a tiny room xe could rent in cash by the week.

  Even with so many people, people all around and crushed in together the way they never would have been on Avla, Okka felt weighed down by the lostness and loneliness of it all. Xe was alone in a sea of people—a very unusual sensation for Mimica who remembered who they were.

  Where to go next? Xe needed to find a place to find things out, to become accustomed to the local technology, maybe find people xe could connect to in some way, maybe make some money in a slightly more honest way.

  Maybe xe could even find parts to construct some of xir own Creeper detectors?

  Although obviously the Cewri had found a way around those precautions at least once. Maybe once was all it took to bring down the Mimica, once and for all.

  There was no longer a Collective. Not really. Only an echoing emptiness where so many lives should be. It seemed unlikely there would ever be a Collective again.

  Okka almost staggered under the impact that thought still had. But here, xe would not surrender to it.

  Xe found a place to sit down, though, in a cafe with a cup of something hot and comforting, and xe watched people.

  Xe paid particularly close attention to the communications technology that everyone seemed to carry with them. On Avla, computers were more of a luxury, unless they were required for one's work. Here, everyone seemed to consult them constantly.

  They were branded with logos, three or four that xe saw most often. One of those was a bright red logo. Angular, negative space spelling the name Kemp.

  Xe'd seen the same logo on one of the buildings nearer xir entry point to this world.

  There was so much to learn, and Okka needed to learn it quickly, without the tools xe was accustomed to having in such a situation. Most Mimica went undercover either as very young members of a species, or with firm grounding in previous spies' memories of a given world or culture. Otherwise, there was too much chance of making a misstep and being uncovered. Most new insertions were prepared for in advance, with identities ready for them. But occasionally, they did need to introduce an identity without warning, and that often involved black-market transactions.

  The kind of deep, trusted network of underground contacts that could safely be used to acquire an identity was rare. It could only be built up over years and couldn't be rushed, especially without a thorough background knowledge of the culture.

  Myrdu had never studied Earth's culture with any kind of method or dedication. His time with Nifu had been time away from his work with th
e military, studying every last detail he could winnow out about the Cewri, their allies, and their tactics. He had never felt like being particularly analytical during his time off. That meant that Okka's knowledge of American culture was now frustratingly spotty.

  Okka knew that xe couldn't trust any identity xe acquired to be foolproof. But there were layers of being compromised and found out, and especially in a society as diverse as the one in this city, there would always be a way to explain away a difference in knowledge or experience.

  Earth was pre-contact, at least. To be thought of as a bumbling, incompetent, or even dangerous human would be preferable than what would happen if xe slipped up on Kintinna. There was a fair chance there that they would suspect xe was Mimica and detain xem for the Avlans to take care of.

  He would face the same dangers as other humans, here. Not negligible ones, but still. Without a memory override or a firm plan decided on by the Collective, xe did not have the patience to let the dangers of integrating here on Earth delay xir attempts to find other Mimica.

  Through a combination of eavesdropping and subtly leading questions, Okka discovered that people who needed to learn things without many resources of their own could go to the public library, where books and computers were available to use. So xe went there and settled in to learn what xe could.

  At its heart, the computers themselves were not so very different from what Myrdu had worked with on Avla. Nor were the languages, at least functionally. But the many ways in which humans used them were more complex and varied.

  There had been nothing like the internet on Avla.

  So much human knowledge, pooled and waiting for people to connect to it, to each other. Bringing them together to share in something like a larger consciousness.

  Like a Collective.

  Oh, fates and powers. Humanity had learned how to build their own sort of Collective, out of computers, words, and pictures.

  It could never be close enough to what xe had lost. It would never be like sharing skin with millions of Mimica. But it was just similar enough to hit xem like a brick to the gut, make xem long for what xe had lost.

  Okka soon developed a fervent appreciation for the human contributors to the pool of knowledge available on Wikipedia, wikiHow, and YouTube. Xe knew many more things about the ins and outs of surviving on this planet and in this time and place.

  *~*~*

  The seller swore the identity would do the job and that xe wouldn't attract attention by using it. Okka's own research indicated that the government might flag the number when xe filed taxes, but they probably wouldn't do anything about it. So many people had falsified paperwork so that they could live and work in peace.

  It was a calculated risk. Every possible path here was a calculated risk.

  The seller offered Okka papers in a name of xir choice, for a higher price. It probably would have been safer to go with some random, anonymous human name, but if Okka could not have the Collective, xe could at least keep possession of the name they had given xem. To do otherwise seemed unthinkable.

  None of xir last names from any of xir mission identities fit Okka xemself. As close as xe was to Myrdu, these days, xe was no longer a Pandrach.

  But Nifu was still xir daughter.

  Xe decided on the name Okka Pathfinder—one of xir daughter's titles. Okka Pathfinder, parent of Nifu Pathfinder.

  Xe liked the way that sounded.

  The next thing xe needed was a job. One in the technology industry, if xe could manage it. Xir research had turned up many companies that operated in the city. One of them owned that building with the red logo that had caught xir eye. Kemptech. They were an attractive prospect.

  Pattern recognition software, and xir research on how to detect the power cores of various spacecraft and the transmissions of the Collective, xe had on xir own computer. But the arrays that would bring xem the raw data, radio telescopes and research satellites, and the knowledge necessary to get them to talk to xir own Avlan computer? That, Okka did not yet have.

  Xe needed to learn, and for that xe could seek out any number of resources. But for access to the equipment, xe would need to go big. There were risks to starting out at a bigger company like Kemptech. It was higher profile than a lot of other options. But the company was also big enough for xem to go unnoticed within it—the building was almost a small city in itself.

  Okka was drawn to it.

  Xe didn't think it was only because the place was the most obvious, most clear route to the technology that would allow xem to find other Mimica. But that was part of it.

  The lobby was bustling. A steady stream of people went to and from the elevators. A directory described the contents of each floor as all sorts of offices. Marketing, legal, research and development. A put-together and alert woman sat at the reception desk, sharing attention between her screens and the people in the lobby. She eyed xem as xe approached.

  "Excuse me, are you hiring?" xe asked.

  "Kemp Technologies? Yeah, pretty much constantly. We haven't got any paper applications, though, it's all online now, of course." She tapped a few keys on her computer. "What kind of position are you interested in?"

  "Wherever you need people."

  She looked at xem kind of pityingly. "No ideas? We have a lot of departments." She turned her screen a little so xe could see the listings. There were many openings, everything from janitorial to prototype manufacturing, but there was not much that involved working with the technology that didn't require a degree. Okka didn't think any of Myrdu's certificates would get xem far. Nor would anything Rhea had achieved in Ancient Greece.

  "I'll start wherever you'll have me," xe offered.

  She gave xem an odd look, but then seemed to recover and nodded briskly. "There are a lot of entry-level positions you can apply for. You know how to get to our website, right?"

  "I'm sure I can manage," xe said with a polite smile.

  "All right, so you just go down to the bottom of the page where it says 'careers', and you'll get to this list and read about our open positions. You can apply for as many as you like. Now, is there anything else I can help you with, uh, sir? Ma'am?" She eyed him in a way she hadn't before, as if only now registering xir appearance.

  Okka waved the question away, which seemed to frustrate her.

  She set her jaw and opened her mouth in a determined manner. "Listen, I'll give you some friendly advice. If you want to impress people at this level of business, you need to present a professional demeanor. That means makeup, or a suit. Um."

  Xir eyes narrowed. Xe could have gone with the flow of wrong assumptions, xe was prepared for that, but xe found that the annoyance and disdain with which this woman seemed to regard anyone she couldn't immediately pigeonhole made xem loath to claim either of her boxes as xir own.

  Xir form was well within human variance. Xe was familiar enough with the genome to know that. How would this woman treat others who looked like xem?

  "Whichever is more appropriate," she finished at last.

  "And if neither is?" xe asked. Xe could sense people stopping in their journeys across the busy lobby, curious about the sudden tension in the air, but xe wanted to know how she would answer.

  "Excuse me?"

  "What if neither one is more appropriate than the other?"

  She frowned in confusion. "Well, it's one or the other, isn't it?"

  Okka didn't know the culture quite well enough to argue properly, but oh, xe wanted to.

  "Is there a problem here?" a voice from behind Okka asked.

  The woman's face transformed. Her eyes widened at the voice. "No, sir," she said quickly. "I was just giving this young person some advice about working in a professional environment." She was tense now, and her stance held an undercurrent of dread.

  Okka turned to see who this person was who could do so much with so few words.

  It was a man with dark wavy hair and a bright smile. He must have been watching their interaction for more than a passing
moment, but he didn't seem to have any of the same reactions to Okka as the receptionist had. Intelligent, assessing eyes didn't make the smile feel any less genuine. "Is that right?" he asked Okka.

  "She seems to think I can't get by here being anything except strictly masculine or feminine," Okka answered, trying to keep xir voice calm and friendly, just in case he agreed with his employee. Xe didn't know how well xe managed.

  "Well, that's just not true," the man said to Okka, and then turned to the receptionist. To her he said flatly, "Run the sensitivity course, Caroline. And this time, take notes."

  As she absorbed the words, she flinched, then nodded. "Yes, sir," she said.

  She seemed to think she'd just been told off rather harshly, but by someone in a position to do so unchallenged. Okka wondered if this clearly powerful man would have done the same for any stranger.

  He held out a hand to Okka. "Hey, I'm David Miller. I'm actually looking into hiring more interns into our R&D department. I think you might fit in there. What's your name?"

  Okka shook his hand, and answered, "Okka Pathfinder."

  David stepped away from the reception desk, and into a slightly quieter corner, gesturing Okka to follow. "Good to meet you. Okka? Interesting. So you want to work at Kemptech?"

  "I do." Okka looked between David and the reception desk. "Even more so now than when I walked in the door. Thank you for listening to my side of the story, Mr. Miller."

  "You shouldn't have needed to tell one. I'm going to have to keep a closer eye out for things like that. We respect people's identities here." He tilted his head a bit. "At least, we try. There are a lot of introductory training courses and I'm aware most people don't do a lot more than skim them. Anyway, if you end up working in software development to, you're going to know me best as David, so if you want, you can call me that."

  "Thank you, David," xe said. "If you really do want to hire me, I'd be enormously grateful."

  David just smiled a little crookedly. "We'll see if you still feel that way after we've put you to work. Come up to my office. We'll talk over some details."

  Xe hoped xe could find a place for xemself here. Closer to David than to Caroline, ideally.