Obsessed

by NJ Flatman

  “No,” his answer shocked me enough to make me stop pacing. I’d walked back and forth across the room we were in at least a hundred times since we’d gotten there. “I won’t take you home tonight.”

  “You can’t just fucking kidnap me. It doesn’t work that way!”

  I was pissed. More than that, I was panicked. How could he have done this to me? How the hell was I dumb enough to have let him? What the fuck had I been thinking?

  Spencer had shown up out of the blue— completely unexpected. In fact, I’d not heard from him or seen him since Chelsea’s engagement party. He’d been so distraught that night. His mom in the hospital, telling him she hated him, had done him in. Briefly, I’d wanted to comfort him. I probably would have. But I snapped back to reality quickly and I had bailed.

  Several days had been spent in guilt. At a time when he’d needed me I refused. How many times had he really needed me there since we’d met? None. The one time he did— the only time he’d come to me— I turned him down and walked away. I hated myself for that. At the same time, I knew it was necessary.

  That man was my weakness. He always had been. When he’d said I belonged to him, he wasn’t very far from the truth. I could try as much as I wanted to block it out — try to be tough and strong— but one look or touch and those walls crumbled. One smile and I’d do anything he asked.

  Spencer could get past my strongest defenses. He could conquer my deepest resolve. The worst part— he didn’t even have to do anything. Just being him was enough. From the moment he’d said hello, I was his. And there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it except keep my distance. A necessity considering he couldn’t stop himself from hurting me.

  Which I most certainly could not do in a motel room in Wisconsin. Which is why I was pissed — I just wasn’t sure if it should be at him or myself.

  “You got in the car voluntarily Avery,” Calmly he reminded me of how it had happened. “That’s not kidnapping.”

  “Refusing to take me back when I ask damn sure is,” my anger was getting worse and I was afraid of what was going to happen.

  “Not really,” sitting his duffel bag on the dresser he opened it and pulled something out. “I’m going to get a quick shower. Care to join me?”

  The wink that came with the words sent my head spinning. Thoughts of him in the shower— us in the shower— invaded my mind and body. Need and desire tried to take over, but I couldn’t succumb. I would not cave. No matter how badly I wanted to.

  Being in this room alone with him was a bad fucking idea. It was dangerous. I knew that. I fucking knew better than to leave with him. The moment he’d asked me to take a ride with him, my gut had told me to say no. It was not the right choice. So why’d I make it?

  Guilt. He’d fucking played my guilt and used it against me. Love me or not— Spencer certainly knew which buttons to push to get exactly what he wanted. Which was apparently a night away with me. That could only mean one thing. He was kicking it up a notch. He wasn’t going to back off. When it came to winning me back, he would stop at nothing — even kidnapping me.

  This wasn’t a game. I couldn’t let him think he won. Everything was at risk— my heart, my sanity, my ability to function. If I stayed in the room with him, he’d get to me. I wouldn’t be able to resist him. I’d never be able to stop myself. If I were honest, I wouldn’t try all that hard.

  As much as I didn’t want it to be that way, I wanted him. All of him. Heart. Mind. Body. Soul. I wanted to be his and I wanted him to be mine. I tried like hell to fight it but being in the room with him was all it took to remind me that I was only fighting against my own desires. That’s why I couldn’t stay. I had to leave. I had to leave so I didn’t go right back to him and let him destroy me again.

  The sound of water running gave me the chance I needed. Picking up my phone, I dialed the familiar number once more.

  “Hey babe, this better be important,” he did not seem very happy about the call.

  “Do I call when it’s not?” I was not in the mood for his bullshit.

  “Sorry, what’s going on?”

  “Are you busy?” Stupid question to ask considering how he’d answered. He probably didn’t even know her name, but he’d damn sure not want to leave her. “I mean the kind of busy you can’t leave.”

  “Something like that,” he answered. “Why?”

  “I need a ride,” I’d be damned if some random fucking lay was going to be more important than I was.

  “Now?” his voice didn’t reassure me.

  “Yes!” I snapped. “I’m stuck.”

  “Stuck where?”

  “Fucking Wisconsin!” I hissed through gritted teeth. “I can’t be here Luke!”

  “Babe, I’m sorry but…”

  “But? Are you seriously going to leave me stranded here? For a piece of ass?”

  “Why are you in Wisconsin?”

  “Luke that isn’t the point,” this was not the time for a discussion. I only had a few minutes to make this call and get this worked out. “I’m here. I can’t get home. Come fucking get me.”

  “Should I leave?” I heard a voice in the background. Female. Sounding very bitchy. “I can go if you have something you need to do. It’s not a big deal.”

  “No way,” Luke’s voice softened for her. “I’ll be off here in a sec and I’m all yours.”

  “Are you kidding me?” my irritation was evident. “I need you and I get thrown to the side?”

  “Babe, I didn’t tell you to go anywhere. But this…..this opportunity doesn’t happen twice. I can’t pass it up.”

  “Fuck off!” Slamming down the phone I realized the water had stopped.

  “Everything okay?” I knew it. When I heard silence I knew he’d be standing there behind me. Listening to every fucking word I said.

  “Fine,” I lied. “Just angry with a friend.”

  “Don’t be,” when he walked into my vision, my heart dropped.

  Standing only a few feet from me was the only man I had ever truly wanted and he was naked but for a towel around his waist. As much as I knew I needed to turn away, I couldn’t.

  I loved looking at him. Well, me and everyone else on the planet. But I was different. To most Spencer was a sexy man. Eye candy. One of the pretty people. I didn’t see him the way that they did. I mean, I did, but that wasn’t all.

  I saw the same muscular arms that they saw, only I saw arms that would keep me safe. They would be soft and gentle when he held me, strong and powerful when he defended me. I saw shoulders that I could lean on when I felt overwhelmed by the rest of the world. I saw tattoos that I loved to lie there and trace with my fingertips, hearing stories of where they came from and why they were important.

  On his face I saw so much more. A jawline that would relax as he smiled. Something that happened whenever I walked into the room. Eyes that would see me and light up. A look that could cause me to come unglued in a split second. A heart that could see into mine, and love me all the same.

  I didn’t look at him and see the same person that everyone else saw. I could see the awkward guy that lingered underneath, always afraid to say things to me. I saw the man that watched me like I was going to disappear and he’d never have another chance. I saw the love that nobody else believed existed.

  Of course, I was always a human female. So seeing that guy standing in front me draped only in a small hotel towel, I saw a man that I wanted— needed— deep inside where nobody else could touch.

  “Something wrong?” the smirk on his face told me that he damn well knew what was on my mind and he just wanted to hear me say it.

  “No,” another lie. “Put some fucking clothes on.”

  “Why is that Avery?” He grinned and walked towards me, planting himself directly in front of me as I sat on the edge of the bed. “Does me being in a towel bother you?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Does it make you remember that you want me?” the smirk on his face made me want to
slap him. The longing in my body made me want to kiss him.

  “I don’t want you,” I lied again, barely able to say the words.

  “Probably true,” he turned as if he were going to walk away. “You need me.”

  “I don’t need anyone!” Yet another lie to the man I’d never even fibbed to. “I am fine.”

  “You need me Avery,” he spun around to face me again. “No matter what words you sling at me, we both know the truth. We both know what you want right this minute. We both know that before this night is over— I will have you again. Because you are mine.”

  His words infuriated me. I stood up, face to face and only inches from his barely covered body, and glared at him.

  “I belong to no one Spencer,” hissing at him, my voice nearly cracked. “If you wanted me to be yours then maybe you should have quit hurting me.”

  Fuck him! I wasn’t going to deal with this. Grabbing my purse from beside me— grateful I’d thought ahead and stuck a little inside for later— I turned to walk past him. I would leave this room and him. One way or another I was going home.

  In a split second his hand reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me to him. My breath caught in my throat as I felt his heart beating — hard and fast— against my own chest. What had changed him like this? Better question, what was he doing to me?

  “Where the fuck do you think you are going?” his voice was low, almost a growl that caused a tingle to rise through me.

  “I’m leaving Spencer,” words were staggered and hard to find. My head was spinning. I couldn’t think straight with him so close. So…close.

  Yet again bodies were entangled, hearts beating as one. Silence filled the room as I waited in anticipation for what was coming next. Had I wanted to leave, I couldn’t have. Legs wobbling, I tried to steady myself. Everything inside of me was coming undone and he hadn’t even really touched me yet.

  “You will not walk away from me again,” his words were whispered, breath brushing the nape of my neck. Shivering, I closed my eyes. “You will never walk away from me again.”

  The words hung in the air as I tried to hide the gasp that seemed to escape anyway. I wanted to scream at him— ask him when the rules started applying to him. I needed to walk away. To leave him standing there. This was getting more dangerous by the second.

  But I couldn’t. No matter what my mind was saying, my body was only complying to him. I felt weaker than I’d ever known myself to be. Desire stronger than any anger or pain he’d ever caused.

  “You are mine Avery,” words fell against my skin creating small chills as they hit. “I am not letting you go.”

  “You don’t get to choose,” my argument wasn’t very strong. My voice cracked and broke as I tried to speak— only showing on the outside what I was feeling on the inside. “You can’t force me Spencer.”

  Fingers twisted in my hair. A moan slipped out of my mouth as he tugged gently. Losing the fight I had left in me, I slid closer into him. Who the hell was I trying to kid?

  “I can convince you,” as he whispered the words into my ear, he took the lobe between his teeth and tugged. “You want me,” soft whispers in between nibbles. “You just have to remember that.”

  “And if I don’t?” I asked, knowing damn well I already remembered.

  “Oh you will,” he pulled back and looked down into my eyes. “I promise you that by the time this night is over, you will remember who you belong to and why.”

  “And what makes you so sure of that?” knowing that I was only adding gasoline to the fire, I couldn’t resist taunting him.

  “Because I get what I want Avery,” he sneered, moving his lips to hover over mine. “And the only thing I want is you.”

  “Maybe there are some things you just can’t have Spencer,” I couldn’t look at him as I said the words. “Did you ever think about that?”

  “I don’t think about things that I don’t like or accept,” he had a response for anything that I could have possibly said— a fact that only annoyed me.

  Every time he spoke the words hit my lips, causing a small vibration that I could feel all the way to my toes. Spencer had complete control over me— my thoughts and my reactions— and I knew it. There was nothing….not a damn thing…I could say or do to change what was happening in that room in some small resort town of Wisconsin.

  Time, distance and heartache hadn’t changed a thing between us. I belonged to Spencer and he damn well intended to claim what was his.

  ~Spencer~

  She was going to be the god damned death of me. I could feel it. She wanted me. Her heart was racing— damn near fast enough to explode. Her breathing was shallow. She was trembling. Hell, even the words she spoke were barely coherent.

  Why then was she trying so hard to fucking fight me? Why couldn’t she just let go and let herself enjoy it?

  She was mad at me. I knew that much. Jesus I’d never heard the kind of words she had yelled at me come from her pretty little mouth. She’d actually accused me of taking advantage of the fact she cared. What the fuck did that even mean?

  Yes, I’d told her about the funeral. I’d shared a few details. I’d asked her to take a ride with me. So what? It was the same thing I’d have done if I already had her. She knew that. How the fuck was that taking advantage?

  She didn’t think I’d know she’d call him as soon as I left the room. Just shows there’s still some of that naivety left inside of her. Of course she would. He was her safety net. For whatever reason she had— he’s the one she went to when she was in a bind. Not that I thought I was much of a bind. I was just the man that wanted her back and would do whatever I had to do to ensure it happened.

  Colby did a damn good job. He turned Avery down. Left her here with me. Pissed her the fuck off. Not that I cared how she felt about him. Now that I realized it wasn’t what I’d feared, he was a lot less important to me. I felt a little guilty about pushing Colby to distract him, but I knew I’d need to get through a period of time when she’d be liable to call.

  And there we were. Pressed up against each other, my lips just a fraction of space away from hers, and she was trying to damn argue with me. Her mouth was anyway. Her body was trying to get closer— get more.

  “You can’t just decide…” she was starting again. It was well past time to put a stop to it.

  “Are you going to shut the fuck up?” I moved my mouth closer. “Or am I going to have to shut you up.”

  I heard her gasp again. She wouldn’t want to admit it, but she did. This time I was pretty sure it was a good thing and not bad. She wanted me.

  “How dare you talk…”

  That was all I could take. I kissed her. Not just kissed her— but kissed her damn hard. It wasn’t a sweet kiss. It wasn’t a tender kiss. It wasn’t a kiss to say I love you. My mouth claimed hers. It was a kiss that said I want you. I own you. You are mine and you will shut up and deal with it.

  Nothing like I’d ever done before. Had I known her reaction, I probably would have. That purse of hers dropped onto the floor and her arms slid around my neck, pulling me closer to her than I already was— if that was possible.

  For the first time since I’d left her, she fucking kissed me back. The few times I’d tried she allowed it, but she’d never relented and put forth the effort to return the gesture. This kiss wasn’t like that. She fucking kissed me.

  Her end wasn’t sweet and gentle either. She was just as possessive and demanding as I’d been. If I were a betting man I’d say she was letting me know that I belonged to her as much as she belonged to me. At least that is what I hoped she meant with a kiss like that.