by Mj Fields
���Eat this, Lucas,��� she patted his head.
Jade brought pizza into Tessa and Ben, ���Tessa, you need to start talking to me again, you can���t do this alone.���
Tessa hugged her.
���Jade, just help Tommy with him please,��� Tessa whispered in her ear.
They all walked in, and Lucas sat in the chair. They turned on a horror flick, Tessa hated scary movies.
���Hey Tessa.���
���Oh God Cassidy, come here let���s talk,��� she walked out and sat at the table. Lucas could hear everything they were saying.
���Cassidy, I try really hard to keep all this messy stuff out of the public eye. It���s a mess and actually pretty embarrassing. I really hope you can keep this between us. I don���t want anyone looking at me, or Lucas, or even Sadi any differently.���
���Tessa, I won���t say anything, I promise. If you want to talk ever, I���m here.���
���Thanks for the offer but Cass that���s what I adore about our friendship, it’s fun.���
���Well okay��� but Tessa, if you need to don���t hold back.���
���Don���t look at me that way Chick ��� no pity,��� she laughed.
���Got it Tessa.���
Cassidy left, and Lucas came out to the kitchen. ���Hey Tessa.���
���Well, hello there Lucas,��� she didn���t looking at him.
���I���m sorry.���
���Oh, Lucas really it���s no big deal,��� she started to walk away, he stopped her.
���No, Tessa ��� I���m really sorry.���
She looked up at him ���Okay. Just be better.���
He watched her walk inside, and he went out the side door. He sat on the deck contemplating what he was going to do about Sadi. He thought she was changing. He thought she had gotten better. He was honest with her about having no romantic interest, and she accepted it, or so he thought.
Everyone had crashed for the night, and Tessa walked outside to take Chewy to the bathroom. She threw the ball for him a few times.
���That’s a good boy, Chewy,��� she pet him.
She threw the ball again, and he took it to the deck.
���Chewy ��� get your fuzzy butt over here,��� she walked after him as she turned the corner to the house she saw Chewy licking Lucas���s face.
���Sorry, come on Chewy,��� he sat and barked at her, ���Really, dog?���
���Hello,��� Lucas looked up.
���Hello, how long have you been out here, aren���t you cold?���
���No Mom��� I���m good,��� Lucas smiled.
���Okay then, come on Chewy you stubborn ass.���
���Will you sit with me, please?���
���Nope,��� she said, ���Could you get Chewy in the house, please?���
���Nope,��� he looked her up and down.
���Okay, Lucas what can I do for you?���
���Stop trying to take care of me for one. I can handle it.���
���Done. Is that it?���
���Don���t take any shit from her Tessa, if she is ��� delusional it needs to be dealt with. I���ve told her a million times that she and I could try to be friends but nothing more ever again. I���ve gone to counseling with her for months and even taken her to see an individual therapist weekly. I thought I was, doing the right thing and now this? I have to figure it out, but this is fucked up.���
���Like bunny boiling f���ed up?��� He laughed, she laughed too.
���I think I���m going to go to counseling with her for a couple more weeks and bring this up. What do you think?���
���I���m not your mother, remember?��� she shot at him.
���Sorry Tessa.���
���It must be exhausting,��� she said.
���What���s that?��� Lucas asked.
���Always having to say you���re sorry to me because I���m so darn perfect,��� she laughed.
He looked at her. ���You are,��� slipped out quietly. He grabbed her hand and kissed it. ���Tessa I need to tell you something,��� his eyes blazing as he looked her all over.
���Oh no, you don���t, buddy,��� Tessa stood up.
He grabbed her and pulled her into him. He kissed her.
���Please Lucas, don���t do this again I can���t������ He kissed her harder not wanting her to say what he knew she would.
She felt like she was on fire from just one kiss. She opened her mouth and received his tongue and met him with hers. He groaned and pulled her on his lap. She sat on him and kissed him deeply. They finally came up for air, and he saw her tears. He kissed them away as she tried to catch her breath. He pulled her into his chest, holding her as she tried to catch his.
She finally sat up and looked at him, ���Lucas, please don���t do this to me again. I want to be your friend because that is way easier than all this.���
He kissed her again, and she whimpered. Her hands ended up in his hair and his on her ass.
���Lucas, you���re wasted,��� she said pulling away.
He stood up and reached under her shirt. Her breath hitched as he rubbed her aching nipple between his two fingers.
���And you���re going to be fucking delicious,��� he kissed her again.
Lucas brought her to the barn and threw his shirt over his head as he changed hands and continued to kiss her. He threw his shirt down and laid her on the bed of hay. His hands never left her breast and the pleasure was winning the battle with her brain. He kissed down her belly and started to pull down her pants.
���Lucas stop, I can���t do this, please.���
Ben walked in and yelled, ���She said stop quarterback! Now back the fuck off before I kick your ass all over the place.���
Ben pulled her up, ���You okay?���
���Yes. I���m sorry Ben,��� she looked at Lucas, ���It���s not all his fault.���
���Well, it���s all me now, let���s go,��� he quickly walked her to the house.
���Go brush your teeth Tess. Take a shower do whatever you need to do, I���ll be right here.���
���Ben,��� she whispered quietly, ���I���m sorry.���
���It���s not your fault,��� his eyes normally sparkling were filled with rage.
���No, it was, I was very much in the moment, I didn���t expect to������ Tessa stopped not wanting to make it worse. ���Don���t hate him. Please ��� he has had enough of that for twenty lifetimes. Please Ben,��� she pleaded, ���He���s my friend.���
���Fine Tessa, just,��� Ben breathed. ���Do you want to be with him?���
Every time he touches me, every time I see him she thought. ���I want to be his friend, Ben.��� Because everything else hurts so much.
���Are you going to let him touch you again?��� She shook her head no. ���Okay then Tess, you need to remember I don���t share and you shouldn���t either. I get what you have gone through, even what he has been through and I���m still here. It won���t happen again, do you understand?��� She shook her head yes and looked at him.
His eyes softened a little. ���Good, now go.���
* * *
Ben walked out to the barn and Lucas was standing there and glared a
t him.
���She gives a shit about you Lucas, but you need to leave her the hell alone!���
���No, she doesn���t just give a shit, she loves me Ben. Do you get that?���
���She���ll get over it,��� Ben said raising his eyebrow. ���If you let her. Doesn���t she deserve that man?��� Lucas looked at him and shook his head. ���You better get inside. John will be home soon. You and I will behave for her, correct?���
���I will do anything for her, I already have.���
Ben understood there were things he didn���t know. But he really didn���t care right now. He was pissed and trying to do what she had asked. ���Let���s get inside.���
Tessa came out of the bathroom and looked at Ben. ���Your friend and I chatted, he���s upstairs in bed.���
���Ben I���m sorry.���
���I���m over it.��� He pulled her down on the couch and laid her head on his lap. ���Can we sleep down here?��� he asked.
���Sure, but my Dad might not like it,��� she whispered.
���When he gets home, I���ll take the recliner.���
���Can I kiss you?��� she asked, she felt awful about what he walked in on.
���Did you brush your teeth?���
She looked at him funny. ���I don���t want to taste him in your mouth.���
���Ben I didn���t go������ she started.
���I didn���t think you did, his tongue is bad enough. You sure you haven���t had enough for the night?��� his voice was clipped.
That hurt, she thought. ���Not of you,��� she leaned over and kissed him.
Ben kissed her back hard and with urgency. She wasn���t expecting that from him. He laid her down and kissed her as he held himself up with his arms. He kissed her neck and lips. He kissed her shoulder blade and ran his tongue across her collar bone. She struggled for breath. He sat back and lightly bit the inner arch of her foot and moved up all the way to her knees, he kissed behind them and lightly bit down with his teeth. Oh, wow she closed her eyes. Her body was responding, and she took in a quick breath. He sat back and moved over to the next foot moved up her left leg. He sat up and looked at her.
���You are so hot, Tess,��� Ben laid on her, and she could feel his erection against her belly.
He kissed her lips and thrust his tongue in her mouth while his hands lightly tickled her inner thigh; she stopped kissing him and gasped. He stopped and looked at her.
���That what you like Tess?��� She looked at him like she was in shock. ���Your body responds to touch, and very nicely might I add,��� Ben smiled and kissed her softer. ���It���s not who���s doing it, do you understand that? If you confuse love with pleasure, you���re selling yourself short. I can do all that shit he did and more. Trust me��� you won���t be disappointed. I also promise that I won���t fuck with your heart or head, Tess. I want to show you the other part too, but I think we should slow down until you are ready to explode with me,��� his smile was so seductive she reached up and pulled his head back to hers.
She kissed him again. He smiled as he sat up.
���Ben, please.��� She knew this is how it started with Lucas and she believed that Ben could take the hurt away.
���Not without me, and you���re not ready for that yet. I promise you though, any mediocre little ones you���ve had will pale in comparison to what I���m going to do to you. We���re going to have booty camp every time I see you until then Tessa got it?���
She smiled and shook her head yes.
���Good, move forward, I want to lay behind you.���
Tessa fell asleep to Ben lightly rubbing her back.
CHAPTER SIX
In the morning, Lucas was gone when Tessa got up. She texted him
- Good morning Lucas, you���re missing breakfast. I hope you���re okay���YFA Tessa
- Sorry had things to do; I���m fine if I offended you last night I apologize.
- Be good Tessa��� YFA��� LL
- Don���t, you weren���t alone. Just no more damn hot tub���YFA��� Tessa
- Can���t blame the hot tub���YFA���LL
Ben bounded down the stairs.
���Hello Tess, did you make me breakfast?��� he took her face in his hands and kissed her.
He rubbed her back and down to her butt.
���Wow, feisty are we?��� Tessa smiled.
Ben said and smacked her butt, ���Do you think you can keep up?���
���Speaking of, I haven���t gone running in the park in a while. There is no snow on the ground downtown, you up for it?���
���I am.���
She put the breakfast casserole in the oven and set the timer.
���Let���s go then,��� she smiled.
They went to the park and ran the stairs; he did the fifth time backward. They ran around, and they talked the whole time about music, family, and the schools he was looking at. He asked her questions about what she wanted to do after school.
She was slowing down, and he laughed and bent down, ���Jump on, Tess.���
���I���m fine,��� she laughed.
���Nope ��� I want to get there, and I want you on me, so jump on girl.���
He took the road back to the school and jogged the whole way.
���What are we going to do now?���
���Take a shower,��� she smiled
���Nice,��� Ben laughed.
���You are so much fun Ben, does it ever stop?��� she asked thinking out loud.
���Do you want it to?���
���No, I just wonder how you are when you���re relaxed,��� Tessa giggled.
���Relaxed? I was real relaxed last night.���
She laughed.
They walked into the house, she grabbed two glasses of water and handed him one. She drank hers and took the casserole out.
���I���m going to shower while this cools.���
���Where is your dad?���
���I really don���t know why?���
���Shower sounds good.���
She kissed him ���Alright let���s go.���
She walked in the bathroom and grabbed some towels. She turned around, and he took his shirt off.
���As tempting as all that is,��� she pointed to him, ���There���s a shower in my Dad’s room, you should go use it.���
He laughed as she pushed him out the door and locked it.
She took a long shower and shaved her legs. She was having a great time with him but really wanted to know how Lucas was. How could she feel that way when she was with Ben? She liked him a lot, but she didn���t want to hurt him or Lucas. She let Lucas go, and she was going to make herself feel the same way for Ben. She knew it was going to be hard and she realized at that moment why, because he doesn���t need me in order to be alright.
She got out and walked upstairs in her robe. She walked in her room and put on an under armor shirt, and a cardigan sweater and leggings. They were going riding later, so she might as well prepare for it now.
She walked out and went downstairs, he was in faded jeans and a thermal shirt that fit him faultlessly. He was putting food on a plate for both of them and had already poured milk.
���Sit by me?��� he pulled out a chair for her.
���Do you have any questions for me about yesterday, about Toby?���
���Do you want to talk about it?��� Ben looked at her and sat back.
���Well, I just figured you might have questions.���
���Tess if it���s going to upset you, then I don���t need to know. You told me last night that you loved him, and he died. Two weeks ago today, right?���
���Yep. Don���t you want to know how I could be all over you so soon?���
���Sure, tell me.���
Tessa looked at Ben and then looked down, ���Well, I don���t know either.���
���Ok, so let me tell you what I think. I think you were lonely. I think you needed someone to pull you out of a funk. I���m pretty sure it was a fluke that I was playing up in Syracuse that night. I think we���re attracted to each other, and it���s comfortable because we���ve known each other for a while, even if you didn���t remember me at first,��� Ben smiled and took her hand. ���I also think that you are wildly curious about the ways your body has responded to things lately. I think all of those feelings combined are completely confusing to you, and that���s why I promise you Tessa Ross, I will not push you until you are ready. Does that sound about right?���
She just stared at him. He was a good guy. She was playing with him. She looked guilty and sad all at once.
���Tessa?���
���Well, I guess…I just don���t know why that���s alright with you?��� Tessa looked down she couldn���t bear to look at him.
���I���m in no hurry. I have but one expectation. I don���t share, give me your focus okay?��� he grabbed her hands. ���I���ll give you mine. If it ends then I don���t want resentments, I want us to stay friends.���
���How exactly does that work, the friends afterward?��� Tessa asked. ���I mean, how you end something on a good note?���
���You don���t share Tessa, that���s when you hurt each other. And I don���t go back, when it ends it ends. I don���t believe in one person destined to be with me, like fate. I believe you find someone you enjoy and you give each other respect. If you decide it’s together forever, and you commit to working at it, it���ll all work out,��� he smiled at her.
