by Mj Fields
���Exactly what you taught me to do,��� Lucas laughed. ���Now��� take your damn hands off me and let me go back to my party.���
Lucas pulled away and walked back to the party.
Some of his teammates were there still, Miguel had walked in the house to use the bathroom Tessa was telling everyone she was fine and to take care of Lucas.
���He���s hurting just as much as I am, don���t you dare be nasty to him,��� she warned them all.
She stood doing dishes when Miguel walked up to her, ���You want me to get him out of here?���
���No, it���s his house but thank you, please make sure he���s alright?���
���You’re serious aren���t you?��� he asked looking at her in shock.
���Yes I am,��� she continued doing dishes.
���Tessa I���m so sorry,��� Miguel hugged her.
���Miguel, I���m fine,��� she smiled.
They heard yelling, and Tessa ran outside Ben and Lucas were on the ground, and Alex and Ryan were breaking them up. Both had some nice cuts on their faces.
���You���re nothing but a piece of fucking white trash Lucas you piece of shit bitch,��� Ben yelled and pulled away from Alex.
Tessa ran and grabbed him.
���This party is far too exciting as it is Ben��� let���s walk,��� she grabbed his hand.
���She gives a mean blow job,��� Lucas yelled.
���Yeah, I know fucktard,��� Ben yelled back.
He looked at Tessa and saw the shock on her face.
���I���m so sorry,��� he tried not to laugh.
Tessa and Ben both began laughing, and couldn���t stop.
They were about half way to camp when she finally held her stomach and took a deep breath. Ben hugged her tightly and let out a breath.
���Damn it, Tess,��� Ben closed his eyes.
���It���s been one hell of a night, now my whole family knows all about my business,��� she said laughing again.
They walked more and sat in the field.
���How are you?���
���Perfect,��� she laughed, ���Even Lucas says so.���
���Okay Tess, but really how are you?��� Ben grabbed her hand.
���First love thing, remember, I will be fine,��� she said, ���We should go back I���m sure I have some explaining to do.���
���I should probably take off, you need help tomorrow?���
���No, but you���re going to let me clean that up before you go anywhere,��� she touched his cheek.
They walked back both laughing, Tessa looked at their mother���s, Maggie looked pissed, his Mom kind of proud. Ben and Tessa laughed as they walked in the house. Jade was scolding Lucas as she cleaned him up and Tessa grabbed the first aid kit and cleaned Ben���s cut.
���Who looks worse Tess?��� Ben chuckled.
���Don���t push it Ben, you���re in my house,��� Lucas yelled and Jade smacked him in the head.
���Damn it, Jade,��� Lucas said and Tessa laughed.
���Could you do that again?��� Tessa smiled at Jade.
���Why don���t you come over here and do it yourself Tessa? I���m sure I deserve more than that bitch Ben dished out,��� Lucas sneered.
���Lucas I���m sure I wouldn���t be able to stop,��� she and Ben laughed.
���So who got it worse?��� Ben asked grinning.
Tessa walked over and looked at Lucas, ���You okay?���
���Why do you care!��� he yelled.
She smiled, ���How���s your hand?���
���None of your business,��� he said pouting and looking away.
She grabbed it, and it was swollen, ���Did you ever follow up like they told you to?��� He looked at her and scowled, ���Lucas, it���s really swollen.���
���It���ll be fine,��� he said.
���Tess, if you need help moving out tomorrow I���ll be back, text me. Lucas you look like shit, did you break your hand on my chest,��� Ben lifted his shirt and smiled he kissed her head and grinned, ���Bye girl.���
Tessa laughed and shook her head.
���What do you think, Tessa? Is he back in the running since this asshole doesn���t know how to behave?��� Jade biffed him in the head again.
���He���s engaged and happy. Lucas and I met her she was nice right?��� She asked Lucas.
���Yeah wonderful,��� he said rolling his eyes…
She asked Jade to go get her Mom.
���I don���t think…��� Lucas began.
���No, kidding you don���t think,��� Tessa laughed in an attempt to not scream and cry like she really wanted to.
Maggie thought it was infected, or re broke he needed x- rays and blood work.
���I���ll take him tomorrow,��� she said. ���Mom, I���m sorry about all that.���
Maggie hugged her, ���Tessa I���m sorry about all this,��� she looked at Lucas and shook her head, ���She would have done anything for you Lucas. I���m sorry you���re going to miss out on that.���
Maggie kissed Lucas on his head, her eyes were sad, and tears welled in them she started to leave.
���Mom can he take a pain med, even though he has drunk like a fish today?���
���Give him a couple hours without alcohol,��� Maggie walked out.
She looked at him and his bottom lip was hanging lower than usual, and his jaw was twitching, his eyes full of tears. ���You should leave.���
She finished bandaging his hand and cleaning his face.
���I am, tomorrow,��� she walked away.
���Don���t Tessa, please don���t,��� his voice quivered.
Jose, Miguel, and Jessie walked in the house.
���His hand hurts,��� Tessa tried to explain away Lucas���s lack of composure.
���My fucking heart is broken,��� he yelled and walked up the stairs.
Jessie started towards the stairs.
���He doesn���t need you right now,��� Jose said.
���Who the fuck are you?���
���His friend,��� Jose hugged Tessa.
Miguel and Jessie left.
���What did I miss, Tessa?���
���Lucas needs you.���
���You need someone too girl,��� Jose held her tighter.
���She’s got me,��� Kendall smiled.
���Your sister is going to marry me some day,��� Jose grinned, and they both laughed.
���You better wait,��� Tessa said.
He looked at Kendall, ���For her, I���d wait forever.���
Kendall blushed, and he walked upstairs.
���What is that all about?��� Tessa asked.
���I don���t know, ask me in four years,��� Kendall hugged Tessa.
The girls cleaned up, and everyone left. Tessa walked in the house, and Lucas was standing with Jose.
���You need a ride home?��� Jose asked Kendall
���Sure,��� she hugged Tessa and Lucas, ���Goodnight.���
Tessa looked at Lucas, and he took a deep breath and he looked up at the ceiling.
���This is it?��� he said, and tears fell. ���This is where I finally pay for all my sins huh, Tessa?���<
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���Lucas don���t cry, please don���t cry.���
���How do you do it? How do you look at me and feel like you owe me kindness at all? I���ve been horrible to you. I have broken every promise; I���ve said things to you that I wouldn���t be able to forgive myself. You need to be a bitch Tessa, or I won���t get through this. God!��� he said and sat down, ���Fucking hate me.���
���I don���t know how Lucas, but if that���s what you need me to be���. Alright, I can try,��� he laughed.
���You can try?��� he laughed harder.
���Well, that���s not very nice,��� she said, and he laughed and stood up and grabbed her face.
���Answer me?��� he yelled and she stepped back, ���Sorry.���
���Did you fuck Jenny?���
���If I did, will you go bang half of the football team so I can hate you?���
She looked at him and rolled her eyes.
���Of course, you can���t because you���re perfect,��� he snapped.
���You have said that a lot tonight, too bad it was never good enough!��� He raised his hand to punch the wall, and she grabbed it, ���Really ��� both of them?���
He grabbed her and hugged her ���Damn it Tessa, please give me something.���
She stepped away and sat on the couch. ���I gave you everything Lucas.���
���Tell me how the fuck to get through this Tessa!���
���Do you love your parents, Lucas?���
���Of course I do?���
���Well to answer your question about how I do it, no matter what they have done to you, you still love them, right? Well, if you truly love someone, shouldn���t it be the same? I mean how do you stop? But things change. You and I are horrible together. I mean I know I���ve hurt you, and you know you���ve hurt me, and even after five years��� it hasn���t changed. It never will. I want you to find someone who loves you anyways,��� she started crying. ���I want you to feel complete and not need more; I didn���t do that for you.���
���Yes you did, Tessa,��� he knelt before her.
���No Lucas, or you wouldn���t have had to screw around when you and I had sex almost every day and the days we missed, we more than made up for. You didn���t need that. You know, honestly you know what you need: what makes you happy and what doesn���t. And if you don���t ��� you need to figure it out so that someday you can be happy and not ever feel like this again.��� She hugged him, ���I will always love you anyways. I just need to love me more and this is killing me, and I can���t do it anymore.���
���I love you Tessa, and I���m going to figure out whatever it is you need me to figure out, in order to someday have you forever,��� he said wishfully.
���Lucas it���s not about what you want for me, or what I want for you, it���s about what we need individually,��� she said. ���Maybe if we figure that out��� we can both have happy lives someday.���
���Are you going to be with Ben?���
���No, Ben is happy and getting married,��� she rubbed his head.
���You don���t have to move out tomorrow Tessa,��� Lucas looked up at her.
���Yes I do,��� she kissed him. ���I can���t be around you.���
���I love you,��� he kissed her back.
���Lucas, we can���t��� she kissed him again.
He lifted her up and carried her up to their bed and took his shirt off,
���You���re so beautiful Lucas,��� she covered her face hiding from herself, from him.
He kissed her stomach, and she sat up.
���We can���t��� Lucas we can���t! Damn it!���
Tessa stood up and walked into the spare room that she would spend this one last night in.
She lay down and sobbed; he came in and sat on the end of the bed.
���Will you at least let me hold you one last time?��� he asked, ���Please, Tessa.���
She looked at him and shook her head yes. They fell asleep tangled in each other���s arms. She woke crying as he tried to calm her.
���Lucas,��� she hugged him.
* * *
���Good morning, perfect,��� he smiled.
She sat up and stretched she was on top of him.
���Sorry,��� she stood up.
He looked sad, ���No other way I���d rather wake up.���
Lucas walked into his room, ���I can drive myself to the doctor���s.���
���No, obviously you can���t,��� she leaning out of the bathroom brushing her teeth.
���You have a busy day planned don���t you?��� he asked as she spit in the sink.
���I can do some today and some tomorrow.���
���Does that mean you���ll stay another night?��� he said pulling her hair back as she rinsed.
���Will you promise to take care of that?���
���Yes, if you stay tonight,��� he said looking at her bent over.
���Lucas,��� she turned around and glared at him.
���If you love me, why is it wrong?��� he asked seriously.
���My who- who doesn���t love you, it desires you��� a lot,��� she laughed as she walked past him.
���Wow Tessa,��� he clenched is jaw as he followed her. ���Hey��� I was wondering if I could take you to dinner tonight.���
���Really?��� she laughed, ���I think I���ve heard that line before.���
���It worked,��� he said softly.
���Well���no.���
���Can I take your who- who out to dinner?��� He winked.
���No, but there are others you can probably line up������ she stopped and looked at him, ���Can we not do this? Please can we just not?���
���Okay,��� he said quietly.
* * *
They went to the doctors and they did an x- ray his bones were not healing correctly, and they wanted to reset it. Tessa knew it was going to hurt like crazy. She smiled softly at him.
���It���s going to hurt isn���t it?���
���Like hell,��� she said quietly.
���I deserved it,��� he said, and the doctor walked back in.
���Can he get something for the pain?���
���Of course,��� he answered. ���Are you staying in here?���
���Yes,��� she said, ���If he wants me to.���
Lucas shook his head yes, ���It���s fine.���
He almost came off the table when they set his bones.
���Holy Shit,��� he yelled.
���You okay?��� she kissed his head.
���No, that shit hurt,��� he closed his eyes tightly.
���You���re going to need to get a cast on that,��� the doctor said.
Tessa looked confused Lucas asked ���Why?���
���Apparently, he can���t let it heal,��� he answered.
���No, I can handle it,��� Lucas said.
���No, he can���t, the doctor is right Lucas you need a cast.���
The doctor walked out, and Tessa laughed.
���What?��� he said.
���Just wondering if that���s t
he hand you���d normally be using to take care of yourself,��� she said laughing.
He shook his head and looked away.
���Oh, you won���t, I forgot you could call all those dirty bitches.���
���Tessa, let���s not do this here.���
They left, and she quietly drove, ���Do you need to stop anywhere?���
���Probably not, I���m a little tired,��� he said softly.
They pulled in, and Chewy ran up to the Jeep.
He looked out the window, ���You���re taking him right?���
���Maybe he could stay with you for awhile.���
���No, I don���t want it to be like re- breaking a bone Tessa, one shot that���s it,��� he got out and slammed the door.
She walked quietly behind him; she knew she was in for either the silent treatment or a breakdown. She walked upstairs and sat on the bed trying to figure out what needed to be done first. She decided to wait until he fell asleep to take anything down. She desperately wanted to go sit with him and watch stupid sports replays and lay on his lap.
He knocked lightly on the door, ���Do you need help?���
���No, thank you,��� she said in barely a whisper.
���Then what are you doing?��� he asked and sat next to her.
���Waiting for you to fall asleep,��� she answered quietly.
���Why, do you think that will make this any easier Tessa?���
���Of course not,��� she said. ���Why did you do this to us, Lucas?���
���I have no words Tessa, no reason, I just fucked up. I haven���t slept with anyone, but you in over four years and the four before that I had twelve. It doesn���t make it any better, but I���ve changed, because of you,��� he let out a frustrated breath.
���But��� never mind, why don���t you go to sleep? You look tired.���
���No, what do you want to say?���
���Nothing because it seems incredibly selfish,��� she said.
���Just say it.���
���Well, I can���t see you go through this every four years or whatever. I don���t hate you Lucas, so why, no how could you want me to hurt. I mean if you felt half of the hurt I do and care half as much, you wouldn���t want me to ever feel this way, ever.���
