by Mj Fields
Harper pushed three more times and finally, when almost all hope of a natural delivery was lost, our little girl came out just a screaming.
She was beautiful and loud. She was tiny and pink; she had ten perfect toes and ten perfect fingers. She had lots of hair and it was nearly white. Harper and I were able to hold her and kiss her. We both told her we loved her and then they took her screaming to the neonatal nursery to be examined. Tessa was allowed to go with her which made it easier on Harper and me.
When Tessa left Harper hugged me and cried. I did the same. Exhausted, happy, nervous, and full of joyful tears.
���Maddox? I���m really thirsty.���
As I was getting her a drink Dad and Emma walked in. He gave me a big bear hug and so did Mom.
���She���s beautiful Harper.��� Dad hugged her. ���She is definitely all Hines. I heard the pipes on her all the way down the hall.���
Harper immediately looked at me and laughed. ���That���s it Maddox!���
���What���s it?��� I handed her a drink.
���Our daughter. You liked Melody because it was musical. A combination of you and me.���
���But you said you didn���t.���
���No, I said I knew too many people named Melody. But your Dad said pipes. How about Piper?���
Maddox smiled. ���Different but I like it. Piper Ann?���
���Piper Ann Hines.���
EPILOGUE
Harper
I should have been tired but I wasn���t. I was emotional and cried over every little thing that was going on. Piper was nineteen inches long and weighed an even six pounds. She was born on my mother���s birthday instead of Brody���s. I was sure my father was in heaven pleading his case to send her a birthday gift. I knew he would if given the opportunity.
Her lungs were well developed for preemie but we stayed at New Jersey General Hospital for a week. The car ride home was a nightmare; she hated that seat and Maddox hated hearing her cry. In order to keep her from screaming I had to position myself over her car seat so that she could feed until she fell asleep.
Mom took pictures and even that made me cry, which of course made her feel bad. And then Maddox told me that the stress hormones in my breast milk were probably causing her to become upset. I took his smart ass phone and threw it on the ground.
���I don���t give a shit what Siri says Maddox!���
When we finally made it home I was sure Maddox, my mother, and Piper all thought I had lost my mind entirely. They weren���t alone though, I was sure I had as well.
As soon as I hit our bed I was out. I didn���t wake until I felt Maddox lifting my shirt. I looked down and I was shocked when I say him placing Piper against me to feed.
���Maddox,��� I groaned.
���She���s hungry.���
I sat myself up and held her. ���Have you ever seen Meet the Fockers?���
���No. is it a good movie?��� He asked as he positioned my breast to her mouth.
���I���m gonna get you that movie. I can do this Maddox. That���s why I have boobs and you don���t.���
���It���s a sacrifice for me as well Harper. If I���m going to let this go on for any length of time you better accept that I will be helping.���
I was ready to snap at him until he sat up and climbed behind me, rested his chin on my shoulder watching our daughter feed, and kissed my cheek.
I have loved Maddox Hines from the moment I saw him. I tried so hard to stop when the pain was unbearable, but I never could. We were meant to be together and a force stronger than us decided it. No amount of hurt or pain took away that love.
���My two angels.��� He whispered. ���What a truly blessed man I am.���
I was sure I fell in love with him even more right then and there. And yes, that made me cry too.
Maddox
���Two months old. How was that even possible that our little Piper was eight weeks old already?��� I picked her up and she smiled. No it wasn���t gas it was a smile, one that was all for me.
���Maddox she was fine in her bed.��� Harper walked into the room with her pacifier.
���Sweetness she wasn���t okay. She was looking at me like what are you doing just sitting there? Pick me up damn it. Didn���t you Piper?���
���You���ll spoil her. You have to let her be sometimes.��� Harper climbed up into our bed and pushed the pacifier into Piper���s mouth.
���I���ll start letting her lay there wide awake you stop obsessing over sterilizing those Piper plugs after they touch the floor for two seconds. Deal? Besides she wants your breast and not this thing.���
���Maddox I just fed her an hour ago.���
���You let me sleep through it Harper. So it doesn���t count.���
���It counts.���
She grabbed the co-sleeping device and put it between us. ���Lay her down and let���s get some sleep.���
I looked at Harper and shook my head no. I was terrified that I would wake up lying on top of her; smothering her. I was finally sleeping every night. Sometime even through Pipers beginning wake up cries. You know the quieter ones that lead of to the roars if you don���t catch them in time. They are terrifying to wake up to.
I held her as she looked up at me with her sleepy little brilliant blue eyes sucking away on her little plug until she finally closed her eyes and was sleeping like the little angel she was.
I looked over at Harper who was watching me watch Piper with the same eyes our daughter had. She took her out of my arms and swaddled her a little bit tighter. Kissed her little head and got up to put her in the cradle on my side of the bed.
When she climbed back into bed she snuggled up against me and I held her until she was asleep.
I now said prayers every night thanking God, instead of cursing the thought of him. When I looked at my angels sleeping next to me I knew without a doubt that God was real. Through hell and heartache I was given the strength I needed to be in the place I was now. Each step I had taken in the past year brought me to Harper and Piper. I have said it before and today is no different; would do it all again to know my reward was what I have now. Love in its truest form, a gift only God above could have given me.
FORGED
Book 2
DEDICATION
To those who find hope when all hope seems lost. To those who find strength to move forward when others would retreat.
CHAPTER ONE
In Hell
It���d been three days since his family had gone back to England, and Maddox Hines sat on the couch in the rented apartment next door to Harper���s. He felt his chest tighten when he thought about the fight they���d had. The last time she spoke to him was three days ago.
Maddox and Harper waved goodbye as their families walked through the security gate at the airport. His sister, London, blew kisses to them and he watched Harper catch them and smile as she threw a kiss back to her before they all disappeared down the corridor to their gate.
Maddox smiled at Harper and reached for her hand. She stepped back and shook her head ���no���.
���Did I do something to offend you, Harper?���
���We don���t have to pretend anymore.���
���I hope I didn���t give you the impression I was pretending.���
���Maddox, nothing has changed, except for the fact that they all know. I was doing a great job keeping this from everyone until you had to show up and screw������
���Harper, I came here to tell you I was sorry. I came here to tell you I love you and
wanted to try to work this out. I didn���t expect to come here and discover that you���d been hiding������
Harper turned and walked out of the automatic doors and stood on the curb attempting to hail a cab. Maddox stood beside her confused and hurt.
���We have a car coming, Harper.���
���There is no ���we,��� Maddox. There is NO we. Just leave it alone I���m not doing this with you.���
The car pulled up and Maddox opened the door, ���We can talk about this back at your place.���
���My place? You���re not going back to my place, Maddox. You need to go! Just leave me alone to figure all of this out!���
Embarrassed by the public outburst and confused by the mixed signals he had been receiving from her, he took her arm. ���Harper, get in the damn car!���
She pulled away and screamed at the top of her lungs, ���Let go of me!���
Very quickly security officers were standing beside her.
Maddox looked at her. His face was sad, confused, and shocked.
She walked away from him and opened the door to the cab that had pulled up behind them.
He watched her pull away. She was looking down and he felt his chest tighten, anxiety.
He rode back to the apartment complex in silence. He tried to calm himself down by taking deep controlled breaths and releasing them slowly, counting, anything he could think of to make the pain stop.
When he got off the elevator he went to her apartment and knocked on the door. She didn���t answer.
He sent her a text asking that she just sit down and talk to him, and she didn���t respond. When she came home after six that night, he was sitting in the hallway with his back against the wall. He jumped up, ���Where have you been?���
She looked at him with no expression, ���That isn���t any of your business, Maddox.���
���I ���Harper���It IS my business. You���re carrying our child!��� He was pissed and hurt.
���You can go back to England, Maddox.���
���I am here for the two of you, I���m not������
She unlocked and walked in her door and shut it behind her leaving him in the hallway.
That was the last time he���d talked to her. He was staying in the apartment next to hers, right next door. He heard her leave every morning and return every evening after work.
He reminded himself of what her mother had said, don���t push. He was trying to be strong. The first night he texted her several times and she didn���t return his texts. The past three days he had toned it down, sending only one in the morning telling her to have a nice day and one at night telling her goodnight. She didn���t reply to any of them.
Maddox sat against the door knowing she would be walking by soon, returning from work. He heard her laughing, a sound he hadn���t heard in a few days. He stood and looked out the peep hole and saw Blake walking with her. Blake hadn���t been around since Thanksgiving. Maddox knew they still worked together and that there was nothing he could do about that, but it still made him incredibly heated. Blake had known for a few months that Harper was carrying his child. Blake brought her pastries and desserts. Blake was who she confided in, trusted, and wanted to spend time with.
Maddox punched the wall and then immediately looked out the peep hole, hoping they didn���t hear it. Harper stopped and looked back. Blake put his hand on her lower back and urged her to keep walking, which she did.
Maddox grabbed an ice pack and held it on his hand and wanted to scream. He threw the ice pack against the wall and walked into his room and changed into warm up pants and a t-shirt. It was cold but he needed to run, to box, to do something. Anything to stop him from ripping apart the apartment. He pulled on a grey hooded Brody Hines Band sweatshirt, threw on his Adidas sneakers, and walked out of the apartment.
Maddox walked towards the trail that ran around the manmade lake on the property. He had not been out here since he and Tessa had talked after both families found out about the pregnancy. He could feel angst rising inside of him, and he began to run. He ran to try and escape the pain he felt caused by seeing the woman he loved, laughing with the man she chose to bring into her life at a time that she could have leaned on Maddox. Had he known, he would���ve walked away from his tour and his need to help Jazz get well. If he knew, he would���ve told her how much he loved her. It wouldn���t have taken months for him to gain the courage to go after her. If he knew she would not have had to hide what should be one of the happiest times of a woman���s life from the people she loved and those that loved her. If he knew, she would be smiling and laughing with him. She would be in his arms, she would be��� he just knew it.
He ran harder, trying to escape the memories of when they���d first met, when he and his family hid from the past. He ran to try to stop the memories of her demanding they be friends and not leaving his room until he agreed, memories of the next morning when they were asleep leaning on each other and still holding hands. When she taught him to swim, their first kiss, the many times she flew off the handle angry at him. The memories of her prom and the first time he told her he loved her. He had run around the lake five times trying to out-run the memories of him trying to forget her and then the memory of when he realized he never could. His pace slowed when the memories of the concert at Madison Square Garden came flooding back and the night they made love for the first time. He slowed to a jog, remembering every detail of what led to right here and right now.
Maddox walked around the lake one time to try to cool down, which should not have been hard to do, it was freezing in Geneva, Switzerland in December. He was trying to exhaust himself and this wasn���t enough. He walked into the apartment complex and headed to the fitness center inside where he worked out for another hour.
Maddox ran to the elevator that was beginning to close and slipped in just in time. ���Sorry,��� he smiled and then looked up.
Harper was standing in the corner and crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. Even with the way he had just worked his body into an exhaustion, his emotions were still all over the place.
The ride up was uncomfortably quiet. He felt his body tense up. He was pissed that she wouldn���t talk to him. He was pissed that every time he was around her, he wanted to grab her and hold her and tell her how much he loved her and needed to love her more than he needed the next breath of air to fill his lungs. The elevator stopped and he waited for her to get off and followed her. He walked into his apartment, feeling exactly the same as he had left it hours earlier.
He looked at his phone and London had called three times. He called back and she didn���t answer.
He stripped down and walked into the steamy hot shower and stood under it until it began to run cool. He got out, dried off, and got dressed.
Maddox stood on the balcony looking at the water, trying to bring back the calming feeling it had always brought him. It had not yet frozen over, but still it didn���t move. The lack of movement in the water reminded him of the way he imagined the blood flowed inside of him, just barely enough to keep him alive. He began to feel his chest tighten again and then his phone rang.
���Hello London.��� He listened to her talk about how much fun she���d had when she was there with him and Harper, and he laughed when she told her about Lexington���s latest stunt. He talked to Lexington who repeated everything London had told him and that she missed him.
His father was now on the phone. ���How are things going?���
���Well,��� Maddox sighed, ���not good, Dad.���
���What do you mean?���
Maddox explained that he and Harper had not spoken since after they left the airport.
�
���No Dad, I don���t want anyone here. I���m managing.���
���Come home.���
���I���m not coming home. I���m going to stay here until she and I talk. Until she���s ready, Dad.���
���How is that going to help you, Maddox?���
���It���s not just about me anymore.���
���It is about you!���
���Stop. This fucking sucks, Dad. I don���t want you angry at me and I don���t want anyone taking care of this for me. I���m an adult; I have a child coming into this world in four months. Support me, Dad, but don���t push.���
On Friday, Harper didn���t return at her normal time. Maddox decided he couldn���t sit in the apartment for another day alone while she was out. He dressed, grabbed his coat, a hat, and left.
When Maddox returned to the apartment complex after two hours of walking around the city, he had a few shopping bags in his hands as he stood against the elevator wall. The door started to close when Blake stopped it and Harper jumped in laughing.
���Sorry.��� She laughed and then looked up and saw Maddox.
Maddox felt his jaw clench as he looked at her and then looked away. Again, the ride was too long and very silent. When the door opened he bolted out, if he didn���t he would have done something bad. I would���ve obliterated that fucker!
He walked into his apartment, slammed the door, and wanted to scream; instead he sat on the couch with his laptop and tried to write. He stopped after two hours when he realized nothing he had written could be put to music.
His phone rang and it was London. He couldn���t talk to her right now, not when he was this angry.
Maddox got out of the shower. He���d washed away the anger and was now just hurt. He���d dried off and brushed his teeth. He walked out in the kitchen drying his hair and grabbed a glass of water.
He turned around and Harper was sitting on the couch.
���Shit!��� Maddox dropped the glass and jumped back avoiding the glass from dropping on his foot. The glass shattered and Harper jumped up to help him, ���Don���t!���
