by Rhonda James
Miles
Apart
Part Two of The Not So Bad Boys of Rock Series
Rhonda L. James
Miles Apart
Copyright © 2015 Rhonda L. James
All rights reserved.
ISBN-10:1508580685
ISBN-13:978-1508580683
Cover Photography by Shutterstock
Cover layout design by Squid Ink Studio
Published by Rhonda L. James
All lyrics are original and owned by Rhonda L. James
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to Dan. Without your love and support, I wouldn’t be able to do what I love. The sacrifices you make while I spend my time writing do not go unnoticed, and I promise to pick up the slack once the ideas stop flowing. Until then, I love you, and appreciate all that you do for our family, and for all that you represent as a loving husband, father, and friend to all who know you.
CONTENTS
DEDICATION
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHAPTER THIRTY
EPILOGUE
ACKNOWLEGEMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
MILES APART PLAYLIST
OTHER BOOKS BY RHONDA L. JAMES
PROLOGUE
Three Months Earlier
Sebastian~
Just put one foot in front of the other. That’s what I keep telling myself, but someone forgot to pass the message on to my legs. They’re rooted to the floor, as if they were concrete blocks. This is the first time I’ve been home since she left for London. I take a deep breath and will myself forward, through the door, into the cold and empty space that used to feel like home. She left yesterday, but I can still smell her sweet fragrance. An intoxicating mixture of almonds and vanilla. Permeating the air. Settling deep within my fractured heart. This pain could have been avoided, a fact I am well aware of. She may have made the choice to move, but I chose to walk away. Away from her. Away from us.
I'd had it all planned out. It may have been my birthday, but it was Brooke that I wanted to surprise. I was going to propose, in front of everyone we loved, and I was confident that her answer would have been yes. It was supposed to be the best birthday present ever; her agreeing to become my wife. The timing was right. I’d spotted her talking with mom, holding that adorable puppy she’d bought me. I started my walk across the room, and would have reached her, if it hadn’t been for the damn doorbell, and the man standing on the other side. If things had been different, I would have spent the last three days in her arms, instead of a hotel room two hours south of here.
When I found out she was leaving again, I couldn’t face her. She’d just moved in with me, had just gotten settled. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I was so angry. Betrayed was a better word. Even though I knew she hadn’t intentionally tried to deceive me, that’s what she ended up doing. In my mind, in the heat of the moment, the only way to deal with things had been to lash out. I never gave her a chance to explain. I took off and shut her out. The only communication we shared had been a few text messages before she left. Now, I’m not sure where we stand. Three days without her has already proven to be a bad decision. I screwed up, but then I always knew I had it in me.
I stepped into the man cave, as Brooke had always called it, made my way to the leather sofa, and ran my hand over the cool material. We’d spent hours lying here, talking, laughing, kissing. The intimacy shared in this space now weighed heavily on my shoulders. I sank into the cushion and beat my head against the leather, wishing it were firmer, needing something to wake me up from the ongoing nightmare. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to have ended.
It wasn’t supposed to end at all.
I pulled out my phone and flipped through photos of Brooke. There were hundreds of them. Our times together had always been brief, so we tried to make the most of it, making sure to capture every moment on camera. The last photo I had taken was one of her holding Gibson, the golden retriever puppy she had given me for my birthday. I scrolled through a few more before coming across one of her at Nikki’s wedding. She was stunning in that purple dress. She always looked beautiful. That day had served to confirm what I had already known. I wanted her to be my wife. I wanted her by my side, always and forever. For me, nothing else came before her happiness. When she chose her job over us, that choice had told me that she didn’t feel the same way. I knew she loved me, that hadn’t been the issue. My problem was that I selfishly wanted to be the only thing that made her happy.
I glanced over at the table, the one filled with picture frames. Pictures of us. Lying there on the table, in front of my favorite photo, one of many taken on the beach, was the diamond engagement ring I had left behind. I picked it up, slipping it over the tip of my finger, and wondered if I would ever get the chance to make things right again.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
I opened my eyes and looked around the room. I was still in the man cave. I must have fallen asleep. The sound of someone pounding on the door had startled me awake. Another round of banging sounded throughout the house, reminding me that they were still waiting. I shuffled my way down the hall, averting my eyes from the closed bedroom door. The pounding started up again just as I was about to swing open the large door.
“Hey,” Travis greeted warmly, pulling me in for a brotherly hug. “I heard you were back. You okay?”
“Yeah, I guess. Come on in,” I motioned. “I was just sleeping.” I headed to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.
“I can come back if you’re tired.” He offered, making a move for the door.
“No.” I handed him a bottle. “I was just sitting in the other room thinking.” I gave my head a light shake. “I must have dozed off. I’m good.”
“Have you talked to her yet?” He asked, as he unscrewed the cap.
“Nope. I’m not even sure what to say. I screwed up man, I know that. I was just so pissed. I had everything all worked out, and that was never part of the plan.” I dropped into a recliner and sank my head into my waiting hands. Travis came over and placed a firm hand on the center of my back.
“Sebastian, this doesn’t have to be the end. You two can get past this. Look,” he pulled an ottoman over and sat in front of me. “She’s going to be over there
for nine months, tops. We’re on tour five of those months. Either way you were going to be apart. When the tour is over, go stay with her, spend some time in London. You don’t have to be in this house to make your plan work.”
“That’s the same thing she said. Man, I’m so stupid. I was so blinded by anger. Ever since I went into rehab, I’ve had this awareness, this overwhelming need to have control over my life. When I met Brook, I was able to be myself. She needed me, and she let me take care of her. That was the best therapy for me. When she stayed with me, she brought me back to life. She gave me a sense of purpose. She filled a void. Now, I’m afraid of becoming that person again. This whole thing has helped me realize that I needed her more than she needed me.” My body convulsed as unwelcomed tears poured out. I never allowed myself to break down, not even after the accident. I mean, yeah, I cry sometimes. Who doesn’t? But this felt different. These sobs wracked my whole body, and whatever control I had managed to hold onto these past three days seemed to vanish as I gave in. Travis pulled me tight against him, rocking me back and forth.
“Oh, little brother, I am so sorry you're hurting. I wish I could carry this burden for you, but I think you’re wrong. You both need each other. She’s a strong, independent woman. You love that about her, I know you do. Natalie is the same way. There are days when I swear that woman would get along fine without me, and then she kisses me, and it reminds me that we complete one another. You need to talk to her. You have to let her know how you feel, but you also have to listen to how she feels. I know you say that you love her, and I believe you, but love isn’t the only thing that makes a marriage work. You also need trust, intimacy, and support. She needs to know that it’s safe to share her dreams with you, even when you don’t agree with them. This is what she wanted, Sebastian, long before she met you. That doesn’t mean you are less important. She just needs to prove something to herself. Give her that chance.”
I sighed heavily and wiped my eyes with my palms. “What if I’m too late?”
“Then it wasn’t meant to be.” He replied, honestly. I could always count on Travis to be completely honest and level-headed. I knew he was right. If my running away had pushed Brooke over the edge, beyond forgiveness, then I would have to move forward in life without her. I hoped that was still possible.
“Look, Sebastian, I know that you’re crazy about her. I remember what it was like before proposing to Nat. I also get that your head is pretty messed up right now. That’s understandable. I’m just concerned that maybe you’ve allowed your feelings for Brooke to become your new drug of choice.”
“Why the hell would you think that?” I shrank back. “You seriously think I’ve traded one dependency for another? I spent ninety days cleaning out my body and my mind. I left everything there, Travis. My dependency on Brooke never diminished me, or led me to make bad choices. If anything, she made me better. She made me strive for more.” I hung my head, shaking it slowly. “I can’t believe you would say that to me.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve just seen changes in you over the past seven months, and they are good changes, but there’s also an obsession that borders on the unhealthy.” He held up his hands in defense. “I’m just calling it as I see it.”
“Mom would disagree with you. She thinks my behavior is indicative of true love. So, does Nat feel the same way? The guys too?” The slight edge in my voice doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Whoa, I’m not here to pick a fight. I’m just here because I love you, and we’re all worried about you. We don’t want to see you crash and burn again. If you feel like you’re starting to reach that point, let one of us know, we’ll help you get through it. Okay?” The brotherly tone returned to his voice, and I knew that he was only saying this because he cared.
“I know. I hear what you’re saying. I’m not going to lie, I fell hard and fast for Brooke. We’re meant to be together. I feel it in here.” I brought a fist to my heart and bumped it against my chest a few times. “I just need to give her some space.”
“How are you going to do that?” Travis snorted. “Three days have practically sent you over the edge.”
“Believe me, I know, but I’m hoping the tour will help keep my mind preoccupied.”
“Europe-bound tomorrow baby!” Travis fist bumped me.
“Stockholm, here we come!” I announced, suddenly looking forward to the distraction.
CHAPTER ONE
Three Months Earlier
Brooke~
I was convinced that my phone was broken. This was the longest we’d gone without speaking. I knew he was angry when he left, and his text had been clear, he couldn’t bear to watch me leave again. When I walked out that door I was aware that it may be the last time I set foot in that house, yet I still left. My relationship with Sebastian is very important to me, but this job has been a dream of mine for seven years. I’ve worked hard, made sacrifices, and pushed myself beyond what I thought I was capable of achieving. When faced with the opportunity to step in and help Max with his struggling restaurant, I didn’t hesitate. He believed that I could make a difference and turn things around. I had every intention of making that happen, even if it meant losing the one thing that made me happier than I’d ever been.
I’d never been one to get emotionally attached. I watched my father walk away, and never look back. I lived with a mother that put her career before her family, never thinking about how it would affect those that loved her. Then, at the tender age of twenty, I watched as paramedics carried away the lifeless body of a man that had shared my passion for food, and wanted to marry me. I vowed then and there that I would live my life for me, choosing to make my own happiness, never allowing anyone the chance to stand in my way, regardless of the cost. I had already paid the highest price there was, nothing else could faze me.
Or so I thought…
Two weeks after I’d arrived in London, and settled into a routine, everything came crashing down around me. It had been a really good night at the restaurant. The dining room had more reservations than ever, the service was flawless, and the kitchen staff were finally working out the kinks. The food that left the kitchen tonight was exquisite, and I had been proud to call for service as each finished plate reached the pass. We closed for the evening, and I began the short walk home.
My apartment was only three blocks from the restaurant, and a walk was a nice way to unwind after a long day. The sky was clear tonight, and I found myself looking up at the stars, remembering the last time we’d looked at the stars together.
He’d been on tour for ten days now. I knew they had been scheduled to kick off the tour in Stockholm. Their itinerary had them bouncing all over the place for the next five months. I had never dated him while he was on tour, so I wasn’t sure how it all worked. I wasn’t even sure we were still a couple. Before I walked out I had left the engagement ring on a table in the man cave, in front of my favorite photo of us. I couldn’t bring myself to keep it, not because I didn’t want it, I would have loved for him to slip that on my finger, to see his face when he proposed. I left it because I didn’t feel worthy of having it. I left him. If I would have had any idea what he had planned, I would have told him the truth sooner. I knew that I had screwed up. If anyone was to blame for the demise of this relationship, it had been me.
Jade wasn’t sure how to handle my situation. On one hand, she was my best friend, on the other, she was Dek’s girlfriend. Dek and Sebastian had been best friends since grade school. I didn’t want to come between them, so I did what came naturally, I dealt with it on my own. We still spoke regularly, but the topic of Sebastian never seemed to come up. I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about that.
I climbed the steps to my apartment, a space much smaller than my apartment in Michigan had been, and smaller than the L.A. home I had so easily left behind. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t hear the voice behind me.
“Hey, it’s Brooke, right?” I turned to find a guy standing in front of the open door across
from mine. A smile formed on his face as it finally registered with me that he had asked a question.
“I’m sorry,” I blushed. “I seem to have been in another world. Yes, I’m Brooke. Brooke Caldwell. And who might you be?”
“Reid.” He extended his right arm, and I met it with my own. His grasp was firm, and his eyes never left mine as he spoke. “Reid Masters. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Yeah, I just moved in. I haven’t really had a chance to be social.” I laughed, nervously.
“Well, a few of us are getting together tomorrow night, in 3B, you should join us, it makes the transition a whole lot easier.” He smiled, knowingly.
“That obvious, huh?” I returned the smile. “So, I take it you’re not from around here either?”
“Nah, I had a great opportunity so I transferred here six months ago from Ohio. How about you? What brought you to London?”
“A little of the same. I’m a chef, and I had a job offer that I couldn’t refuse. I’m only here for nine months though.”
“Seriously? I’m a chef too. Which restaurant?” He leaned in a bit closer. “I’m over at Oliver’s.”
“That’s crazy. I’m right next door at Lardon’s.” I replied, shaking my head at the irony.
“We should compare schedules, there may be nights when I could walk you home.” He smiled and I responded with a forced grin. The thought of another man walking me home somehow didn’t feel right, even if it was a friendly gesture.
I placed a hand on the door knob, signaling the end of the conversation. “Listen, I’m a little tired, I should probably head in. It was very nice meeting you, and I’ll think about tomorrow, it might be kind of fun to meet some new people.”
“Sounds great.” He continued to watch me. His eyes gleamed under the fluorescent lighting above us. I stuck my key in the door and fumbled with the lock. He came up behind me, placing a warm hand over mine, and I drew in a sharp breath with the unexpected contact. My heart ached for what it had been missing. More specifically, who it was missing. Reid’s presence only served as a reminder of that emptiness.
