Miles Apart (The Not So Bad Boys of Rock Book 2)

by Rhonda James

  “I’m not sure that I’m following you.” I looked at her quizzically.

  “Tell me more about Sebastian. What is he like? Does he treat you well?”

  “He’s amazing, kind, and gentle. He always keeps his word. You'd think that since he's this famous rock star he would be all cocky, and I'm sure that at one point in time he may have been, but not anymore. Oh Mom, he treated me like a queen.”

  “Then what happened between you two? Why aren’t you still together?” She asked, softly.

  I huffed out a breath through my teeth. “Gosh, I’m not even sure where to start.”

  “I’ve found that the beginning always works.” She smiled.

  So I told her the story of how we met that fateful morning in May. I shared with her details of how we fell in love, and how he courted me from miles away. Then came the part where I left him, choosing work over being with him, and how our relationship seemed to fall apart after that. I ended with the night at my apartment, remembering the fight, and the rose petals scattered over my living room floor. Mom listened quietly, absorbing everything I poured out.

  When she finally spoke, it was a simple question. “Do you still love him?”

  There was no hesitation in my response. “Without a doubt.”

  “Then what are you still doing here? You need to go to him. If you truly love him you need to fight with everything you’ve got to keep him. A love like that doesn’t come easily.” Mom studied my face. “Something’s holding you back. What is it?”

  “Have you ever had to break a promise to someone, and did it even though you knew the reasons were purely selfish?”

  “Yes. When I divorced your father I broke a promise. I had vowed to love him forever, but when an opportunity to expand my practice came along I took it, not caring what the cost may be.”

  “And do you regret that decision now?”

  “My only regret is that I felt I had to give up one in order to achieve the other. It took nearly fourteen years for me to realize that everything I had been reaching for had been within my grasp all along. Take it from someone who's been in your shoes, someone who knows all too well what that ache feels like. Cling tightly to those who love you. Never take them for granted. A fancy title and hefty paycheck are nice, but at the end of the day, nothing beats a kiss from a man that loves you, and would do anything for you."

  That night we ate dinner in front of the television. It felt amazing to be able to sit in a room with my parents and witness true love and tenderness. Both of them had softened over the years. I kept having to remind myself that I was twenty-four and not eight. I suddenly felt like the luckiest girl in the world. I had two parents that loved each other, and I finally understood that they had loved me all along, even though they weren't able to express it properly before. And, if it wasn't too late, I had a wonderful man that loved me and was waiting for me to get my act together and admit that I was wrong. I was finally ready to do that. I just prayed I wasn't too late.

  "Brooke." Mom sat up straight on the edge of her seat, pointing to the television. "Isn't that the young man you were dating?"

  I looked at the screen and the entertainment reporter was talking with Sebastian after a concert in L.A. He looked incredibly handsome in a black T-shirt and jeans. His hair had been cut a bit shorter on the sides, but still a touch long on top, and his jaw was covered in light stubble. As he spoke, I was once again mesmerized by the movement of his piercing as he spoke. He was standing with the guys in the band. They all looked great. I realized with an ache in my heart that it had been far too long since I had spoken with Chris. I made a mental note to call him later in the week.

  The reporter was asking questions about a young girl and her mother that had been special guests of Sebastian's. I heard her name mentioned and recalled Sebastian telling me about meeting her on his first trip out to Michigan. The camera panned over the guys and Savannah, standing next to her mother. Her mother was quite young, maybe my age, and very pretty. Then there were a few still photos of the band with Savannah, and one with only Sebastian, Savannah, and Rachel together. Finally, there was a still shot of Sebastian outside the Staple's Center, in front of a limo, with his arms around Rachel.

  They were kissing. The reporter's voice sounded in the back ground as the photo remained on the screen.

  "It appears that America's favorite rocker has found a new love. Could this mean the end of Sebastian and Brooke's story?" Then, a photo of Sebastian and me flashed over the screen. It had been taken at Nikki's wedding reception.

  My heart suddenly felt as if it had stopped beating.

  I'd waited too long.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  "There's no way he would be kissing another woman. He's still in love with you." Jade insisted as she followed me around the apartment. I was packing to leave. I'd decided to head back to London and have a long talk with Max. He was planning on meeting me there tomorrow. I had a plane at the airport, fueled and ready to take me back today. "Are you even listening to me?"

  "Yes, I am listening. He's still in love with me. That's all great. I still love him too. Maybe even more now that I know I've lost him. But that doesn't change the fact that there is photographic evidence that he was in an embrace with another woman." I declared.

  "True. But he caught you doing the same thing, and that was innocent. He deserves the benefit of the doubt." She placed a hand over mine, putting an end to my folding. "Brooke?"

  "What do you want me to say? I've already admitted that I am still crazy for him. I want him back. Hell, I'm not even mad at him. Even if he did kiss her. He's a free man. He can do what or whomever he pleases. I don't own him, Jade. I never did." My voice faltered.

  "You may not have owned him, but you owned his heart. So, you're just going to give up? You're not going to fight for him?" She asked, exasperated.

  "I didn't say that. Did I?" I arched a brow before continuing. "I have some loose ends to clear up first. Then, and only then, will I attempt to win him back."

  "What could possibly be more important than getting him back?

  "It's not more important, it just needs to be taken care of before I can move on." I assured her. "I better get going." I zipped my suitcase and hauled it off the bed.

  "I'm going to miss you. It's been nice having you back here with me." We hugged, neither one willing to let go.

  "I'll call you when I land." I waved, heading out the door.

  I've walked the same four blocks countless times over the past four years, but never with the same determination I had at this moment. I sat down on the familiar bench and looked out onto the street before me. Traffic moved slowly, as it always did this time of day. A few pedestrians made their way up and down the block, walking in and out of the storefronts that lined the downtown area.

  I'd come here with a particular purpose in mind. I was here to make peace with a promise I'd made a long time ago. A promise that needed to be broken in order for me to move forward with my life.

  "It's been a long time since I've been here." I whispered, mostly to myself. "I know that you're not really here, but I need to say this, and this feels like the right place to say it." I took a deep breath.

  "I've found someone. He's a wonderful man, and he makes me very happy. He loves me, and I love him. Devon, I know that we made a promise to reach our dreams together, but you're not here. I've worked really hard to make that dream happen, but I'm not so sure I want that dream any longer. I'm so sorry about what happened to you. You didn't deserve to be taken so young. I know that you had hopes of us getting married, but back then I wasn't ready. I was too young, and I was scared. This man that I've met, I think you would like him. He's kind and compassionate. He loves me, and he supports my dreams. It took me awhile to realize that…" I sat on that bench, pouring my heart out. With every confession I felt the need to control everything slowly slip away. I had been holding onto promises made when I was a young girl experiencing her first love. I may have followed in my mot
her's footsteps, but it had been for entirely different reasons. I had been afraid of not following my dreams because I feared it would be disrespectful to what Devon and I had shared, and hoped to achieve together.

  "He wanted to marry me, but I pushed him away. The same way I pushed you away. I don't want to miss out on my happily ever after. I'm ready now. I need to know it's okay. I need to know that you understand, and want me to be happy." I closed my eyes and waited, though I wasn't exactly sure what I was waiting for. Time seemed to creep by, and I began to wonder if I would ever find the answer I’d been hoping for.

  "Excuse me." An elderly gentleman approached the bench with a hand behind his back. "I thought perhaps that the beautiful lady might enjoy a rose." I looked to his outstretched hand and in it he held a single, long-stemmed pink rose. A smile of relief and happiness spread over my face.

  "Thank you very much. It's lovely. But, may I ask what is this for?"

  "Just because it's Wednesday." He smiled, and sang softly to himself as he slowly ambled down the street.

  I turned my eyes skyward and allowed tears of joy to fall freely down my face. "I got the message. Thank you." I whispered, knowing exactly what I needed to do next.

  The cab ride to my apartment in London had been rather interesting. The driver's name was James and he went on and on about his recent engagement. I politely smiled as he shared with me about how he had been working hard and saving every extra penny to buy a ring for his girlfriend. Then, out of the blue, one of his customers had recently given him an engagement ring as a tip.

  "That's quite a tip. He sounds like a very generous person. I'm happy for you. When is the wedding?"

  "Next month. We don't want to wait any longer. He was a very kind man. My girl and I agree that if we have children, and one of them is a boy, he will be named Sebastian."

  "Wait. What?" He suddenly had my full attention.

  "That was his name. Sebastian. I didn't catch a last name though." By now we'd pulled up to the apartment building. I tossed some money his way and bolted out the door.

  "Congratulations! Good luck on your upcoming nuptials." I called over my shoulder. I ran into the stairwell, fighting to catch my breath. Had he really given up? No. I wasn’t going to let that deter me. I had a plan and I was sticking to it.

  I dragged my suitcase up the stairs and dug for my keys. I jiggled it to the left and right, not getting anywhere. I swore under my breath and tried another tactic.

  "You're not doing it right." Said a familiar voice behind me. I pressed my forehead against the door, smiling into the metal surface.

  "Someone once told me I needed to jiggle it to the right. It's not working." I turned to find him leaning over my shoulder. "Hi."

  "Hey. Glad you're back. You sort of disappeared. I thought I wouldn't get to see you again." We hugged, awkwardly.

  "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I just had to get away. I needed some time to clear my head."

  "I’m sorry that I kissed you. Well, I’m not sorry that I did it, but I am sorry for any trouble it may have caused. You work things out with Sebastian?" He asked, leaning against the door.

  "Don't start in on that. I don't want to argue. You don’t have to apologize. I’m pretty sure that my relationship with Sebastian would have taken the same path, eventually. It was a firestorm waiting to happen." The door finally opened and he stumbled inside. "Oops, sorry." I dropped my bag and grabbed a water. "You want one?" I held it up.

  "Nah, I'm good. I'm not trying to argue. You know, he came back that next day, to see you. We talked things out, and we're good. You know, he really does love you."

  "Thanks, Reid. I'm not entirely sure how he feels about me at the moment, but I hope to find out soon. I'm glad to know that things are good between you two." I sat down at the table, using my foot to push out the chair across from me. "Sit down, please. I'd like to talk with you about something."

  "Okay. What's up?" We had a long talk about what had taken place during my visit to Michigan. I explained the vision I had for my future, and what would need to take place in order for that to happen. After that conversation, we headed over to the restaurant to meet up with Max. Reid walked alongside me, his arm linked with mine. He was part of my new plan. I needed him with me to make it all work.

  Sebastian~

  I couldn't run fast enough. I pushed my legs harder than ever, yet I still wasn’t able to escape the guilt that threatened to consume me. Ever since that kiss I'd felt convicted. Now I understood what Brooke had been going through. Reid had said that when he kissed her, she hadn't reciprocated. That was exactly what had happened with Rachel. I'd spoken to her since then and she'd apologized for overstepping any unspoken boundaries. We both knew that we'd gotten caught up in the moment. I didn't harbor any feelings of that sort for her, even though I may have felt something if I hadn't already given my heart to someone else. I was, after all, a man. My eyes knew when they'd landed on something exquisite. Rachel was a beautiful woman, inside and out. She was going to make someone very happy one day. Only, it wouldn't be me.

  The press had gotten hold of a photo of us kissing, and now it had been leaked all over the Internet and papers. Suddenly, Brooke and I were thrust into the spotlight again. Old photos of us popped up everywhere, questioning our relationship. I'd finally stopped turning on any and all technology. I carried my phone, but I'd turned off all notifications. I didn't want to see one more text message or Tweet. I couldn't take it.

  I felt like I was drowning and I couldn't break the surface. No matter what I did, I couldn’t escape the constant reminder that she was out of my life. Any hope I may have had of getting her back was thrown out the window when that photo had been leaked. I knew she'd seen it. Dek had been talking to Jade and was filling me in, only when I pushed for information. The guys had been pretty tolerant of my moody behavior, though they watched me carefully. If there was any possibility that I may go over the edge and return to drinking, it would be now. I felt completely lost.

  I stepped off the track and grabbed the metal bar that hung overhead, pulling myself up and over it. I kept it up until my arms nearly fell off, then I pushed harder. I jumped down and moved over to the sit-up bench, knocking out two hundred in record time. Nothing seemed to kill the pain. My muscles screamed and ached all over, but this pain was deep. This pain was untouchable. I walked over to the bench and grabbed my water bottle, downing it in one gulp. I pulled my shirt over my head and wiped off my face, then walked up to the hotel suite.

  We were in London again. The show was tomorrow night. I'd learned from Dek that Brooke was back in the city. She'd been in Michigan for nearly a month. Now that it seemed that I had moved on, I guess she decided to dive right back in. I found myself wondering if I would be able to stay away while I was here. The ache in my chest screamed at me to run to her.

  So I did.

  I stood in the coffee shop across the street from her apartment. I watched and waited for any sign of her. Then, after forty-five minutes of waiting, I saw her, walking arm-in-arm with Reid. They were laughing. She looked happy. I wanted to run out there and scream at her, tell her that he's not the guy for her, but my pride was the only thing stopping me. If she was happy without me, then I wasn't about to stand in her way.

  I realized then and there that it was really over.

  The concert kicked off at eight the next evening. The house was packed. I started off with an apology for having to cancel the last concert. I promised them a great show, and we delivered. We ran forty minutes over our usual show time, and by the end I was feeling it. I had been feeling down all afternoon. If I’d been completely honest with myself I would have admitted that I had been down for the past three months. Seeing her with Reid yesterday had stirred up a whole new wave of emotions. I knew it would be a mistake to lay eyes on her. The only thing it had done was stir up all the feelings that I'd been trying to mask. I was beginning to think that I'd never be able to move forward. At least not of my own doing. I begged
off the after party, claiming to be tired. On my way back to the hotel I asked the cab driver to swing by the liquor store. I ran in and grabbed a fifth of whiskey and carried it back to my room, then placed it in the center of the table.

  Just in case.

  I tried relaxing, but it was no use. No matter what I did I couldn't seem to unwind. Knowing that bottle was in the same room made me antsy. I wasn’t' really sure why I had bought it. Maybe because the last few months had finally taken their toll on me. Maybe because I just wanted to forget everything, even if for just one night. But mostly because I needed to prove to myself that I was strong enough to withstand the temptation.

  I grabbed my earbuds and put them in, turning on some music to help take my focus off the bottle that sat in the next room. I listened to a few songs, and before I knew it, I had dozed off. My dreams were filled with darkness. I found myself chasing after a dark figure, but every time I got close I would reach out and grasp at thin air. Even in my sleep, I knew this figure represented Brooke. I assumed that my being unable to reach her meant that she was already long gone.

  I heard a loud banging and sat straight up in bed. I pulled at the cord around my neck and realized that it must have been music that had startled me awake. I twisted my shoulders and neck. Everything inside screamed at me, begging me to wake up from the nightmare I had fallen so unexpectedly into. I slowly sat up in bed, taking a moment for my eyes to sweep across the surrounding room, another room that wasn’t my own. My legs moved slowly toward the edge of the bed, sore from overdoing it, pushing myself too hard again. I picked up my phone and opened up my photos, all too aware that it would only cause me further pain, but still unable to stop myself. This was how I started every morning. Every morning since the night I walked out of our house three months ago. Some days it seemed like only yesterday, other days it felt like a lifetime.