For Better or For Worse

by Desirae Williams

  I walked back over to her; we stood so close I could feel her breathe on my face. She reached for my belt and felt around inside my pants. I groaned while she bit on my bottom lip calling my mouth back down to hers. I put my hands under her dress, picked her up and placed her on my groin. I couldn’t believe how moist she was and we hadn’t even started yet. I lowered my pants and placed her hips all the way down as far as she could get; she gripped my shoulders and moaned as her body stretched to accommodate me. When I got her in a fixed position I began to work my magic. Alexia tilted her head back and wrapped her legs around my waist, holding on for the ride. I worked her body up and down like a jack hammer, ignoring her cries of passion; there was a need inside of me that only she could fill and damn it I was going to get full tonight. I felt my own orgasm about to peak and I knew it was time to bring it on home.

  I lowered her body all the way down and hammered away till I climaxed. I didn’t pay attention to Alexia’s panting until I let her down. I used my weight for her to lean on while she caught her breathe. She lifted her head and I could tell she was in deep thought. I wrapped my arms around her waist bringing her closer to me. “What are you thinking about?” I kissed her cheek. “Huh?” She brought her eyes to mine and kissed my lips. “I want to go to my place, now.” I looked at her, body sweating and still calling for me and nodded. “Lead the way.” She opened the elevator and I followed her to her apartment. I placed kisses on her neck and ear as she opened the door. We made our way inside and Alexia flung her purse and keys to the floor.

  I turned her around and found her mouth again. We stood there touching, feeling, and slobbering each other down before I noticed the door to her bedroom. She saw where I was looking at and led me inside. It was a nice place, with a lot of familiar art work hanging up. She had a queen size bed with dark lavender covers just waiting. I pulled her dress off and exposed her naked body. My word she was beautiful, her tanned skin glowed in the moonlight and her firm breast became more noticeable. “Lie down.” I instructed, she did as asked and placed herself on the bed kicking off her heels. I removed my already loose clothing and joined her. I lowered my head softly bit her knee, caressed her thighs with my tongue then buried my head between her legs. “Oh…Grant…” She moaned. It was hard to ignore her screams especially when she squirmed up under me.

  But I continued to show no mercy as she exploded in my mouth. I looked up at her; she couldn’t even open her eyes. The throws of passion had completely taken over her. I crawled up her body teasing her with my tongue along the way. “Open your eyes.” I whispered as I placed a kiss on her lips. Alexia forcefully looked at me unable to mask the unbearable pleasure she was feeling. Knowing I had her attention I inserted myself inside her again, she tensed up but I leaned over her making sure she kept her eyes on me the entire time. Her nails clawed into my back as I increased my speed. I placed kisses all over her face to make it bearable. “Ughhhhh…” She moaned. Her breathing grew rapid and she couldn’t stop her body from shaking. I pushed on shaking the bed until I collapsed down on her. “Oh my God!” Alexia panted as she welcomed my body weight unto hers.

  She was finally able to uncurl her toes and let her body relax along with mine. I attempted to roll over but she pulled me back down to her. “Don’t move…please baby don’t move. Stay right here with me.” She placed kisses on my neck as I rested with my head in the pillow. I remembered feeling like this before, this complete satisfaction that felt like a drug. I felt this before but I couldn’t remember where.

  ***

  Grant/1997

  “Whoa!” I yelled as Lucy and I fell off the bed to the floor. I felt pain shoot through my shoulder as I hit the ground. “Damn.” I shook my head at how far Lucy and I were going into dangerous territory. It had been two months since we had first made love and ever since then it was nonstop. I had managed to come up to the university and give her a surprise visit… turns out I got the surprise. I rolled over on the floor and struggled to catch my breath. “Woman do you know you roommate could be back here any moment.” Lucy laughed at my comments and placed her naked body back on top my of me. “Doesn’t that make more exciting? The fact that anyone could come in here and see us right now.”

  I couldn’t believe at her willingness to go the extra mile. She wanted to do everything and do it everywhere now days. It seemed not so long ago that I couldn’t get her to sleep with me if I begged; now I can’t seem to keep her off. She started placing kisses on my neck and chest ready for round three. “Oh no, not again I don’t have any more fluid left. Damn, I need some Gatorade.” I eased her off playfully. “Oh c’mon… toughen up.” She pouted and slammed her hands down on my chest. I shook my head. “A navy seal isn’t tough enough for you.” She laughed at the fact that she was getting the best of me. I pulled a sheet off of her bed to cover us Lucy snatched it away from me. “If you were going to cover up then you shouldn’t have come here.” She leaned over me and placed kisses on my neck.

  “So is that all you want from me is sex. I’m starting to feel so used. What have I done to you?” She placed me on the floor. “You my friend have created a monster now just sit back and enjoy the tutelage of your work.” Lucy began to kiss me again as she plopped on top of my chest. I held her closely as my tongue messaged hers. We were so wrapped up into each other mentally and physically we didn’t even hear when her room door opened.

  “Hey Luce, I thought you guys might like to watch a movie I…”Alayah, Lucy’s roommate came in and her eyes widened at what she saw, she was looking at us and we were looking at her dumbfounded. She calmly but quickly gathered her things and left the room. Lucy got off me and covered herself with the sheets; I sat up and stared at the wall while the silence was defined in the room. I heard a slight giggle then a burst of all out laughter, I watched Lucy collapse back onto the floor in hysterics. “This is not funny. Your roommate just walked in us having sex.” I yelled trying to get her to see the seriousness of it all. Lucy’s laughter increased the more she thought about it, hell the more I thought about I let out a chuckle. The more I thought about the look on Alayah’s face when she saw us made it worse. We both rolled on the floor laughing until we cried.

  ***

  Chapter 10

  Can’t stay away

  Grant

  On the drive home I thought about having slept with Alexia, I knew I was wrong for what I did but for some reason I just didn’t feel guilty…at all. I even thought about doing it again. I knew things between me and Lucy had to be straight awful for me to be feeling like this. This was the most important night of my life and she wasn’t there and probably didn’t even care. At this point I figured my marriage was a lost cause. I walked in the house a little after twelve; I was hoping Lucy would be asleep by now so I could avoid a confrontation. I made my way into the house, placed my keys on the hook an attempted to go upstairs. “Your home?” To my surprise Lucy was up waiting for me in the living area, my heart dropped at the sound of her voice and I tensed up trying not to come off suspicious. I walked slowly to where she was. “What’s wrong?”

  I could tell she had been crying. She straightened up her face. “Oh I’m fine…but we are not. Are we?” I walked towards her on the couch still confused. Lucy cleared her throat and struggled to talk. “What I mean is you haven’t been happy with me lately…that’s why you did what you did.” She clarified. Oh no she knows, I thought. How did she find out? Was it one of those women’s intuition things? Immediately my heart stopped and my eyes started to plead with her. “Look let’s just talk about it…” “There is nothing to say but …I’m sorry.” Now I was completely puzzled as I sat on the couch next to her. “Grant I know I haven’t been the best wife …Ok let’s be honest I have been the worst wife…I’ve been so focused on my career that I’ve lost sight of the two most important people in my life…..” She took my hands into hers.

  “I have made a lot of mistakes and I ….I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me but baby I’m sorry.
” I watched her sob, pleading for my forgiveness, and shook my head. “No…I can’t do this…I can’t do this.” I pulled my hand away from hers and stood up. She looked at me with sad eyes. “Grant please…” I walked to the window and leaned on it. What the hell was wrong with her? I thought. After all these years and after all this time now she finally gets a damn clue. Now after not being there for me when I needed her…Now after what I did. She stood up and slowly walked toward me. “Grant I’m sorry, I know I should have been there for you tonight but you have to understand I was trying to…”

  I cut her off. “I don’t care.” I roared scaring her. “I have been begging you to be there for me, spend time with me, and your son.” She stood their shaking as tears rained down her eyes. I continued to lash out her. “Now the one time I needed you…I needed you to be there you weren’t.” I watched her sob in the middle of the room, she looked so helpless. I wasn’t even mad at her, I was mad at myself because I made love to another woman and now thinking back on it I hated myself for it. I walked toward Lucy and slowly brought her closer to me. She buried her face into my chest. “Grant I’m so sorry…I am.” I continued to hold her and kiss her head. “It’s ok baby. It’s ok.” She continued to cry. “God, you must hate me right now huh?” I grabbed her face sternly. “I love you ok…There is nothing you can do or say that is going to change that.” She leaped back into my arms grateful for the mercy I was showing her. “I’m so sorry baby…I swear I’m going to make it up to you I promise…You hear me….I promise.”

  I felt so guilty; I hated myself for stepping out on my marriage. Damn, I thought. “It’s alright baby…Were going to be fine.” I promised her. Lucy attempted to kiss me but I quickly dodged her. She looked hurt and confused. “What’s wrong?” I stepped back. What do I do? I can’t kiss her like this? I thought. Not after… “Nothing’s wrong baby, I just uh threw up…Too much to drink tonight.” She nodded not sure on whether to believe me or not. I walked toward her and placed my hand on her shoulders. “Let me just go get cleaned up and wait for me in the bed ok?” Lucy wiped her face and nodded as I went upstairs. I made it to the bathroom and cursed myself. Damn, I thought. I ran the shower and removed my clothing trying to find any marks left on my body after being with Alexia. I couldn’t believe the shit I had got myself into.

  After washing up I walked into the bedroom, Lucy was still up waiting for me and I climbed into bed with her. She smiled faintly. “I thought you would never get in here.” She placed her hands on my shoulders and kissed my lips. I reluctantly kissed her allowing my tongue to mingle with hers before pulling away. I couldn’t do it. It was bad enough I slept with someone else; I wouldn’t dare be so disrespectful enough to sleep with Lucy too in the same night. She looked sad that I didn’t want to have sex. She felt like I didn’t want her. “Baby I’m just tired…let me hold you.” With tearful eyes she agreed and laid down with me. She stayed in my embrace that entire night not wanting to let go. I couldn’t help the shame I felt. The neglect from my wife was nothing compared to the betrayal I had committed.

  I walked into the office anticipating on seeing Alexia for the first time since our sexual encounter. With all the drama from last night my mind felt like a rollercoaster and I didn’t know where the next stop was going to be. I may have had a lot of confusion going on but one thing was going to be understood, me and Alexia would never happen again and I was going to make that very clear. I walked past the breakfast stand where I would usually pick up something before work, I moved past the front office where I would say good morning to the staff, I walked right into my office and contemplated the next move. I couldn’t believe how stupid I was last night. Having sex with this girl like I wasn’t even married, I felt so damn foolish. I started to rub my temples, I noticed a note on the desk saying I had a meeting in thirty minutes to discuss layouts for project Reach out. Oh great, I thought, more stress. I suddenly felt a smooth hand caress my back.

  I jumped back to see Alexia. “Is something wrong?” She asked in confusion. I tried to regain my composure, but that black skirt that was showing off her long legs was not helping, it took a moment for me to realize she said something. “Yeah um…I’m fine.” I finally was able to look up at her face. Her hair was pulled back and her pretty lips were painted with red lipstick. “Actually no...I’m not fine...” I walked closer to her more sternly this time. “Look Alexia I like you. I like you a lot, but I love my wife. What happened between us can never happen again.” Strong and firm Grant, I kept telling myself, strong and firm. She stood there taking in everything I said and nodded. “Its ok…I completely understand.” I looked at her puzzled. “You do?” “Yes Grant.” She said as she walked closer to me.

  “Are you sure, because I never meant to hurt you or lead you on, I just…?” She put up a hand to silence me. “I understand…. we both got carried away…let’s just forget about it.” I took a sigh of relief until she placed her hands on my shoulders. “Should I transfer to another office…give us some distance?” Imagine the irony because there was absolutely no distance between us. Alexia kept looking at me the same way she looked at me last night…that’s how we got into all this trouble in the first place. Her finger traced my lips causing me to harden. She placed her knee against my groined and gently massaged it. Alexia bit her lip enjoying the reaction she was getting out of me. “I just don’t know if I can stay away from you.” “Alexia” Her name escaped out of my weak mouth. I was completely captivated by her once again.

  We started kissing, and instantly I felt that heat building up again. I felt under skirt and placed her right on my desk. She laid down and spread her legs revealing her lack of panties. Her eyes stared at me waiting to feel that orgasm she had felt last night again, right on top of my desk. I undid my pants and entered into her slowly. Alexia wrapped her legs around me as continued to push harder. As much as we did it last night, Alexia’s body was now naturally stretched to fit me now. She even was able to grind with me as I stroked her. “Oh damn, Grant.” She moaned. I kept one hand on her shoulder and the other on her hip perfectly balancing us as I pushed. We were deeply into it, damn near to the climax when I heard a knock on my office door. We both stopped and looked, Alexia fell back against the desk moaning and dissatisfied by the interruption. “Damn.” I mumbled. Knock, knock. “Come in.” Marshall made his way into my office.

  He was and older white man with thinning hair, bold eyes and the best Italian suits in the country. He was a riot when at dinner parties and office jams but when it was time to get serious he was serious. “Hey there, I was hoping you had the paper work ready for me, that way we could get started with Project Reach Out.” He walked in and peered at me for a moment. “You ok Grant?” I nodded. “Yes why?” He shrugged. “You’re just sweating a little.” I touched my forehead, it was wet. “Oh, I just took a slight jog this morning…you know got to stay in shape.” He looked at me like I was joking. “If you were any more in shape you could be a body builder.” He chuckled and I joined in trying to hide my nervousness. “Anyway, the files?” “Oh yes.” I got the files out of my cabinet. “Here you go.”

  He quickly scooped them up. “Grant you’re doing such a great job, before you know it, you will be running things.” I smiled. “Thank you sir, that means a lot coming from you.” He nodded and with that he was out the door. “Whew. Talk about close.”Alexia emerged from the closet laughing at the whole situation, I noticed her clothes were back on properly like they had never been touched. I shook my head. “This shit is not funny.” I looked at her sternly. How could she find this amusing, my boss almost walked in on me screwing his partner’s assistant? She pouted when she saw my angry expression. “Oh c’mon, don’t look like that he didn’t even notice anything.” She walked over and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. “Besides even if he saw us it would have been well worth it.” Alexia glanced at herself in the mirror to make sure nothing was out of order and when everything met her requirements she headed for the door.


  “I’ll see you later ok.” As she walked out she turned around and winked at me. I buried my face in my hands, wondering what the hell I had just done. I straightened up my light grey tie trying to get my head cleared to no avail. Once again I had put my marriage in jeopardy; once again I had broken my vows and…Wait a damn minute, I thought while sitting back in my chair. How many times has Lucy put our marriage in jeopardy? How times had she broken our marriage vows? So what the hell am I feeling sorry for? I shook my head. As far as I was concerned she brought this on herself. I was no longer going to feel guilty being with Alexia, I had finally found a woman who didn’t mind giving me some attention, and damn it…it is what is. I leaned back into my chair as much as I was trying to convince myself that I was right in what I was doing, I couldn’t help but feel a gnawing at my heart.

  Alexia

  I giggled as he nibbled on my ear, it was a good distraction from the pleasurable pain he was inflicting on my body. The heat that our bodies were creating was so thick in this room it felt like a sauna. I felt his sweat rolling down my back and I ducked my head into the pillow trying to stop my heavy panting. He locked his fingers into mine while executing more pressure on me from behind. While he towered over me I lay flat across the bed trying to take as much as I could stand without passing out. “Ughh!” I moaned as he went deeper into my insides. I bit a whole through my lip at how enjoyably rough this was. He must have saw how strenuous this felt for me and placed kisses on my face and neck to soothe the pain.

  As we felt our climax coming he firmly gripped my hands and placed his head between the space between my neck and shoulder. “Oh God…I can’t…” I screamed as the juiciest orgasm I ever had exploded inside of me and spilled out all over my sheets. He collapsed on top of me and we rested for a minute trying to catch our breath. I brought our enclosed hands together and wrapped them around me as we recovered from our sexual peak. Grant rolled over to the other side of the bed, leaving my once warm body cold from his absence. He rested his eyes for a moment…then it happened. That look came across his face as it always did when he was finished with me, the look of pain, sadness, and regret. I hated that look, I didn’t understand how he could feel that way after the passionate sex we would have.