He comes closer, and he trails his fingertips lightly across my stomach, so lightly he almost isn’t touching me at all and it’s so unbelievably erotic I can barely get a breath out.
“Maybe we should have had some kind of contract drawn up,” he murmurs, his mouth almost touching mine, he’s so close I can feel his breath practically falling into me.
“And wouldn’t that have just killed the mood. Always in lawyer mode, huh?”
He laughs, and the sound vibrates against my lips, and my stomach dives so low my breath catches in my throat once more.
“You’re taking way too much control here, Ms. Burrows.”
“Are you scared that makes you weak?”
“I’m not weak.”
“I didn’t say you were.”
The heat in the room is palpable, the atmosphere practically fizzing around us and my skin, it’s breaking out in a million tiny goose bumps.
“Go down on me,” I whisper, resting my palm against his cheek, my mouth on his, and I feel him groan, the sound sending a beautiful wave of pure pleasure right to my core. “I want your tongue inside me, Evan. I want you to get me off with your mouth, I want you to make me come.”
The day I’ve just had, all the shit and the confusion, it’s suddenly fading from my thoughts, it’s disappearing, retreating, and all I can think of now is this. Him. Evan King. My boss. One of the most respected, most powerful lawyers in New York, and he’s about to go down on me. It’s all I want, right now he’s all I want. I don’t want to talk about Mike or think about Mike and here – here I don’t have to.
He pushes me down onto the bed and I prop myself up on my elbows and watch as he strips naked, as piece after piece of his hard, toned body is revealed until he’s there in all his glory, his cock once more the stand out feature of this hot-as-hell, wildly enigmatic man. But I don’t want that part of him inside me just yet. I told him. I want his mouth on me, his tongue in me.
“Y’know, you giving the orders, that doesn’t sit right with me.”
But he’s smiling as he lowers himself down over me, and I know he’s just playing this game, same as me, but he’s playing it my way. Whether he realizes that or not. I steered it in this direction. Me.
“So don’t go down on me. Watch me do all the work myself, would that be better for you?”
“Where did I find you, huh?”
“In a bar, looking for rebound sex. You should be careful who you bring home, Mr. King.”
He smirks again, and I feel my stomach once more dip right down, so low it’s all I can do to breathe steadily. And then he grabs a pillow and slips it under my hips, raising me up slightly, and he gently pushes my legs apart and the wave of anticipation that sweeps over me is brutal in its intensity. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a man so much in my entire life; I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to be with a man so much, share so many wrong things, so many down and dirty acts. And as he lowers his head I bury my fingers in his hair and keep him down there, crying out as his tongue slips inside me with so much ease it’s like he was made to fit me. He flicks it in and out of me, and I’m guessing he’s done this before, and I don’t care how many times he’s given other women this pleasure because all that practice was so worth it. I’ve never met a man so skilled, it’s almost an art form, what he’s doing with his tongue. It’s everywhere, circling my clit one second before he thrusts it back inside me and each time he does that it sends another surge of white-hot heat crashing through me. I think I just lost my control now. The ball’s passed back to him, but what the hell does it matter? Nothing fucking matters right now.
“Oh, Jesus… Jesus!” I let go of him and grip the pillow tight as one last flick of his tongue sends me over the edge. It’s like he’s hit every nerve, pushed every single one of my senses to their limit, I’m struggling for breath. And he gets that, and he’s back up beside me, kissing me, breathing into me; calming me.
“How did I do?” he murmurs, and his mouth’s still touching mine, I like it that way. I like him this close. I like this.
I smile, and I rest my hand against his chest, feel his heart beating against my palm. “You did okay.”
He pulls back slightly and raises an eyebrow. “Okay?”
He rolls onto his back and pulls me over so I straddle him, and I lean forward, my hands on his stomach, and I kiss him. I like kissing him. He exudes power and strength, even when he isn’t striding down those corridors of Cavendish King, and I can almost taste it on him, when I kiss him. When he kisses me.
“Yeah. You did okay. What do you want from me, huh? Glowing five star reviews every time? Nobody’s perfect, Mr. King. Not even you.”
“Some of us sail pretty close though, right?”
I smile again, and I kiss him again, and he slides his hands around to cup my ass as he sits up, raising my hips just a touch before he lowers me back down onto his rigid cock. And I throw back my head and moan quietly as I feel him take me once more; feel him invade my body, take me over, fill me with everything that is wrong and dangerous but he’s my drug of choice now. And I intend to be his.
Mike left me.
Mike came back.
But he didn’t come back for me.
So for as long as Evan King wants me, I’m his.
Anything else just isn’t an option.
Nine
Lola
“What are you doing here, Kat?”
“Where were you last night?”
“Out.”
“Who with?”
“I was working, and do you want to keep your voice down? Evan is just through there, so I haven’t really got time to be indulging in small talk with you. I’ll ask again, what are you doing here?”
“Delivering some documents. Our firm are working with one of your junior partners on a case. And the reason I’m here, Lola, is because you seem to be avoiding me at home.”
“I’m not avoiding anyone.”
“You’re avoiding talking to me, then.”
“Because you want to talk about Mike, and I don’t. Okay?”
“Really? You don’t want to talk about him?”
“I think you’ll find you were the one who’s been telling me to forget him for the past three months.”
“I didn’t know he was gonna turn up out of the blue, though, did I? Nobody did.”
“You sure about that?”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Lola, I’m telling you the truth when I tell you Eric had no idea that Mike was coming back to New York. I swear, we’ve been as much in the dark over all of this as you. No one, not even Mike and Eric’s mom and dad knew what he was doing or where he was. It wasn’t until he turned up in Toronto…”
I hold up a hand to get her to stop talking. “Y’know, it really doesn’t matter. I still don’t want to talk about him, it’s over. We’re done.”
“Have you seen him today?”
“He has to walk past my cubicle to get to his office so, yes. I’ve seen him.”
“Have you spoken to him?”
“I spoke to him yesterday.”
Her expression changes, and I sigh.
“What?”
“You spoke to him? And you didn’t tell me? You stay out all night…”
“I wasn’t out all night, Kat. I came home…”
“At half past three this morning.” She glances over my shoulder. “Y’know, now Mike’s back maybe you should knock this thing you have with your boss on the head…”
“I said, keep your voice down. Jesus… And Mike’s back, yes, but he isn’t back for me. He’s back for this job. And yes, the circumstances are fucked up and awkward but we’ll work through it, all right? Talking to him last night… I can’t go back there, Kat. I can’t trust him again, but it doesn’t matter anyway, does it? He doesn’t want me. He didn’t come back for me.”
“He said that, did he?”
I pause for a second and glance quickly behind me. Evan’s on the phone, standing up facing the windo
w, his hand in his pocket as he talks. “No. But he didn’t need to.”
“Would you go back to him? If he asked you to?”
“What are we? Twelve? No.” That’s a lie, it’s such a lie, and Kat can probably tell that, but she leaves it alone. She realizes this is neither the time or the place for this conversation, but she isn’t going to leave it alone forever. She won’t do that.
“Okay. I get it. You don’t want to talk about it. He’s staying with Eric, by the way.”
“Then you’ll probably see as much of him as I will.” I look at her, right into her eyes because she needs to get the message. “Don’t push this, Kat, please. We aren’t in high school, this is my life we’re talking about here. His life. So don’t push it. Don’t interfere, don’t try to make something happen that isn’t going to happen. We’re both trying to make new starts; we’re both trying to deal with this, so, just let us get on with that. Please.”
“But those new starts, Lola… Don’t you see? They’re both here, both in the same place, in the same week, isn’t that…?”
“I said no, Kat.” The look I give her this time is harsher and colder because I don’t need this. I don’t need people interfering. Things are complicated enough.
“Okay. Okay, I hear you.”
“I’m almost forty, not fourteen.”
“Yeah, I get that, too. But we’re still having that party tomorrow night. You don’t get to have everything your own way.”
“Remind me to start looking for my own place.”
“You’re such a bitch.”
We both smile, and she glances over my shoulder again.
“He really is kinda hot, though. Your boss. There are secretaries at my place who are still cursing you for landing this job, but if they knew what your perks were…”
“Get out of here, Kat.”
She holds up her hands and backs away from my cubicle. “I’m gone. I’m not here. You gonna be home tonight, by the way? Or has Christian Grey in there got other plans?”
“I’m not talking to you anymore.”
I’m still smiling, though, as she heads off toward the elevator. But that passing comment I made about finding a place of my own, maybe I really do need to make that happen now. Maybe I need to make that a reality. I’d only moved back in with Kat after the mess that was me and Mike, because I just wasn’t coping on my own. But things have changed now. And I think I’m ready to have my own space again.
“Was that Kat?”
I look up at the sound of his voice, and I wish it didn’t, but my stomach still flips at the sight of him. Because he’s beautiful and handsome and he used to be mine. I know everything about him – his favorite TV shows, the way he takes his coffee, his stupid little habits that every now and again used to irritate the hell out of me. I know how he likes to sleep, on his stomach, one arm flung up beside his head, I know everything. Or do I? Did I really know him at all?
“Yeah. She was just dropping some papers off for one of the junior partners. Do you need something?”
“I need to talk to you, Lola.”
“Now? Here?”
“No, not now, but I…”
“I don’t think we should, Mike. Talk, I mean.”
“And you think we can deal with this situation if we just pretend nothing happened?”
“You panicked, you told me, and I’ve accepted that. Although, I still don’t know why you felt the need to hide away for three months.”
He places his hands palm down on the edge of my cubicle and leans forward, lowering his voice. “Because I still loved you, Lola. So fucking much. And I’d just destroyed that, all of it. I’d destroyed you. Because I was a jerk. I acted like a kid, I played it all wrong, but the thought of marriage… it scared the shit outta me, baby…”
“I’m not doing this, Mike. Not here. So unless there’s something you need from me…”
“Dinner. Tonight. We can talk properly…”
“No.”
It’s breaking my heart, he’s breaking my heart, but I can do this. I can’t go back, I can’t put myself through that again, even though I want to. I want to reach out and touch him, kiss him for hours on end and never let him go, but I can’t. I’m not going to. He hurt me too much, and him coming back like this, I think it’s a test. To see how strong I really am. And Evan King, he’s my crutch, the help I need to get started but there’ll also come a day when I won’t need him, either.
“Lola…”
“Did you come back for me, Mike?”
I look straight into his eyes as I ask that. And he can’t hold my gaze, he’s telling me everything I need to know before he’s even answered my question.
“Listen to me, Lola, please…”
“Evan is there, Mike. He’s right there, in his office, and he can see everything that goes on out here. That man reads people, he can gauge a situation without hearing a word of the conversation so this – this isn’t wise, all right?”
“We should tell him. About us. About what we were…”
“And we will. In time. He doesn’t need to know anything right now.”
“Everything okay out here?”
Mike’s head shoots up and he steps back from my cubicle as I swing around on my chair. Evan’s standing in the doorway, tall and effortlessly stylish in a dark gray suit, white shirt and silver and gray tie. And I shiver slightly as I remember his head between my thighs, his tongue inside me, pushing me to heaven and back.
“Everything’s fine. Mike was just asking me a few questions about this place, but, y’know, I’ve only been here a week myself.”
Evan smiles slightly, at me, he doesn’t aim it at Mike. “I’m going to the courthouse. I shouldn’t be too long, if anyone wants me. There are a few documents on my desk that need filing, Lola, if you could see to that.” He finally turns his attention to Mike. “I’ve got a couple of things I’d like to discuss, Mike. About the case. Walk with me and I’ll fill you in.”
I watch them both head off down the corridor before I go into Evan’s office, and even though I have no reason to, I walk back behind his desk. Because I’m curious. He has no personal photographs anywhere. Nothing. And, to be honest, I don’t recall seeing any in his apartment, either. But he must have some family, surely. I wonder if he’s ever been married, ever had any kind of serious relationship because there must be something that’s made him so guarded when it comes to women. To anyone. Is there a single person here who knows the real Evan King? Because I’m not sure I’ve seen him yet. He’s a persona, a myth, and he’s living up to that. I’ve experienced that. But I kind of want to know the man behind that persona, even though I’m very much aware that that option isn’t on the table. He doesn’t get close to people, and that would involve getting close.
I grab the papers from his desk and head out of his office, downstairs to the file room. It’s quiet, I’m the only one in there and I’m grateful for that. Usually I like a bit of company down here, it’s always a good excuse for a bit of a gossip. But today I’m glad of the peace.
“Was he hitting on you? Just then?”
I turn to see Mike leaning against the shelving unit, arms folded, his eyes staring straight at me.
“No, he wasn’t.”
“Sounded like he was.”
I’ve no idea what he’s talking about, or where he’s getting this from, because the last thing Evan was doing just then was hitting on me. So I ignore Mike’s comment and turn my attention back to filing away the papers in my hand.
“You know his reputation, right?”
I stop what I’m doing and I look at him. “Yes, thank you, I’m fully aware of the rumored reputation Evan King has, but I’m a big girl now, Mike. I can look after myself.”
He drops his gaze and scuffs his heel against the unit behind him. “I know. That’s what I loved about you.” He raises his head and his eyes once more lock on mine. “You never let that independent streak go. I found that so fucking attractive.”
He’s speaking in the past tense, and just hearing him talk is like another knife to my heart.
“Are you seeing anyone new?” It’s not a question I really want to ask but I needed to stop him from taking that other conversation any further. I can’t hear him talk like that, about me, about what I used to mean to him, everything’s still too raw. I’m still hurting too much, I just don’t want him to know that.
He shakes his head, and his eyes stay fixed on mine, and part of me wishes I could look away but I can’t. “You?”
“No. No, I’m not seeing anyone.”
“I guess it’s just a little too soon, huh?”
We both leave that question unanswered.
“Okay, I… I’d better get back upstairs. I’ve got a ton of stuff to get through and I don’t want to be stuck here too late on a Friday night. Even if it is my first official day here.”
I watch him leave and I lean back against the rack, closing my eyes, and I’m confused and angry that I’m crying. Hot, stupid tears are streaming down my cheeks and I need to pull myself together before someone sees. Show no weakness, that’s what Jess told me, and she’s right. Everyone here, no matter what their position, needs to be an asset to Cavendish King and emotional legal secretaries just don’t fit the profile. So I wipe those tears away, breathe in deep, and suck it up.
He’s back.
I just need to make it not matter.
*
“Dana asked me to pass this on to you.”
I slide a thin white envelope across his desk and Evan takes it, looks at it, and discards it on a pile to his left. “Is it important?”
“It’s from the L.A. office.”
“Right. Thank you, Lola.”
I turn to go, but his voice stops me in my tracks.
“Actually, Lola, can you do me a favor?”
I turn back around and smile at him as he gathers together a couple of large, leather-backed books and hands them to me.
“Could you just put these back for me, please? Over there, middle shelf.”
“Of course.” I take the books from him, and as I do so his fingers brush against mine and I feel that shiver again. Or maybe I’m just willing it to happen because of Mike. Because I need this distraction, from Mike.
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