I let her go, smiling as she leaves. It was nice, spending a little bit of quality time together. We haven’t done that in a long while, and I think we both needed it, after the crazy day we’ve all had.
I go to pour myself another drink but a knock on the door distracts me, and I head over to answer it, assuming it’s Dana. She must’ve forgotten something. But it’s not Dana. It’s Mike. And I have no time to ask him what he’s doing here, it’s a pointless question anyway as the punch to my jaw kind of gives me his answer.
“Is she here?”
I pull myself away from the wall he’s just thrown me against and grab him by his jacket, pushing him back against the door. “Do you want to calm down?”
“Is she here?”
“No, Mike, she isn’t. And if you even attempt to hit me again I’m gonna go all kinds of crap on you, so I’ll ask you one more time – are you gonna calm down?”
He yanks my hands off of him and rakes his fingers through his hair as he paces the floor. “She moved out, Evan.”
“And you assumed she’d come here?”
“She told me she was going to Kat’s.”
“So you already know where she is?”
He says nothing for a second or two, he just continues to pace the floor, and then he stops, and he looks right at me. “Okay, yes, I assumed she’d come here.”
“Well, you were wrong.”
He looks over at the dinner table. “So why are there two place settings? Two sets of glasses? Huh?”
“Did you not pass Dana on your way up here? Or were you too full of hell? I was having dinner with my colleague, Mike. Lola isn’t here. I haven’t heard from her, I haven’t seen her since she left the office tonight.”
“Shit!” He falls back against the wall and I almost feel sorry for him. “Shit! I’ve made such a mess of everything. We’ve made such a mess – of everything.”
He looks at me again, and I can’t argue with that.
“I need a drink. Do you want one?”
He frowns, and I take that as a yes, pouring us both a hefty measure of bourbon.
“Here.”
I hand him his drink and he takes a long sip, knocking half of it back in one mouthful. “Do you love her?”
I look at him, but I don’t answer his question.
“I do.” He has that defeated expression on his face again. “And I blew it.”
“Mike…”
His head shoots up and his expression, it’s changed now. There’s a hint of that anger he showed a minute or so ago back now, but I’m not worried.
“I can’t blame you, Evan. I can’t blame her. I blame myself. I screwed up, I walked away, I lost her.” He downs his drink and slams the glass down on the table.
“Be careful with that, it’s crystal cut.”
He ignores my flippant remark, and that anger’s building up in him again, I can see it, feel it, and I ready myself.
“I lost her. But, do you know what? I got her back. I got her back, and everything was great, we were together again and I… I could finally see that future I’d been so scared of before. It was there. It was within touching distance, but…” He laughs, and he drops his gaze for a couple of beats, running a hand along the back of his neck before he raises his head to look back at me. “I didn’t know about you. I didn’t know you were there, like some twisted obstacle getting in the way. I didn’t know about you.” He moves a few inches closer, but I stay put. He’s just an angry kid, I’m not scared of him or his outbursts. “So, I never really did have her back. Did I? I thought I did. I thought we were good again, like we used to be, only better. This time we didn’t just have us, we had our dream jobs, a great place to live in a city we both love. We had that future. Except, we didn’t, did we? Because there was you. You’d taken her away from me before I’d even had a chance to be back in her life.”
“Mike, come on…”
“No.” He shakes his head as he steps away from me, backing off toward the door. “No. You’d already ruined it. I never stood a chance. You’d taken her from me before I even knew I needed her back, you’d killed us.”
“You’d already done that, Mike.”
He laughs, but it’s humorless. Almost maniacal. “You know nothing, Evan.”
He turns and leaves, slamming the door behind him.
Has that changed the way I feel about Lola?
No.
Should I feel guilty about that?
Why should I?
Mike had her first. They were together. In love. About to be married. But he walked away.
Does that mean I have a right to take his girl?
I have every right to try.
It’s my job to win fights.
But this one – maybe this is a fight I should just walk away from…
Twenty-Eight
Lola
I wanted to do this early because I’m a coward, and I can’t face seeing either Mike or Evan right now. So I called Dana, asked if we could meet at the coffee shop across the street from Cavendish King but she wanted to do this in her office. And I have a strange feeling she already knows what I’m about to tell her. I also think she may try to talk me out of it, but I’ve made my decision.
It’s quiet as I step off the elevator. Only a handful of people are in the building. It’s just gone 6:30am, too early even for Evan, and I don’t usually get here to the office for another hour at least, so, I’m hoping it stays quiet. Until I’ve done what I need to do here.
“Close the door behind you.” Dana looks up and beckons me inside. “Coffee?”
I nod and take the mug she offers me. “I’m sorry for dragging you in here like this, Dana…”
“I don’t want you to go.”
I stop mid-sip, I was right. She knows, why I’m here; what I was going to say.
“I guessed, Lola. After yesterday, I had my suspicions you’d be coming to see me.”
“I think it’s for the best. Don’t you?”
“Not really.” She sits down on the edge of her mink-colored couch and clasps her hands together, and I’m almost in awe of how beautiful and elegant she looks. She’s wearing a soft-pink dress and shoes that are just a shade or so lighter, a color that showcases her smooth, pale skin, her white blond hair pulled back into a perfect chignon. She has exquisite bone structure, possibly a nod to her Slavic roots, I don’t know. But I can see exactly what Evan saw in her. She really is quite stunning. And smart. Right now I don’t feel either of those things, but I’m trying really hard not to sink into a well of self-pity. I’ve never found it an attractive trait in other people, so to go there myself is even worse. “Look, Lola, I know this situation is complicated, and I’m going to be honest here. If I didn’t like you so much I would have told you to go yesterday. You’re not naïve, you know that Evan isn’t going anywhere; you know that if someone had to take the fall for this it would’ve been you. But I don’t want you to go, and not just because you’re proving to be an asset to this firm.”
“I’m a legal secretary, Dana. There are hundreds like me out there, just waiting to take my place.”
“And most of them just want to work here to get into my ex-husband’s bed. You know that man has a reputation, Lola. But I still care about him. And you ‘get’ him. You’re not scared of him or in awe of him; you don’t want his money or his power or the chance to be one of his trophy girlfriends. You make him better.”
I look at her, but I don’t really know what to say to that.
“So, regardless of what happens between you and him on a personal level, I need you to stay here and keep him that better man.”
“Dana, I can’t. I can’t be here right now, with Mike just down the corridor and Evan… I can’t… I need time to think.”
“I’m moving Mike to a bigger office on the other side of the floor. I don’t think they should be on top of each other, either. And I’m also rearranging their cases to make sure they don’t work together for the foreseeable future. If what h
appened had become common knowledge then I’m sure one or two of the other senior partners may have suggested I let Mike go, but I’m not prepared to do that. He’s too good a lawyer for me to just hand him over to another, possibly rival firm. I want him here. And I can handle complications. I thrive on them, for Christ’s sake. So I’ll just work on keeping him and Evan apart, at the office, anyhow. I have to trust they’re big enough and adult enough to keep their distance outside of here.” She looks up at me and pats the spot on the couch next to her. “Come on. Sit down.”
I do as she says, placing my coffee on the table in front of me.
“You can handle this too, Lola. Believe me, this firm is built on complications, so this – this is nothing. This is a blip, and Evan – whatever happens, he’ll get over it. I’ve known that man for over twenty years now, so I know he’s going to be all right. If anything, what’s happened here has made him realize that it’s okay to let someone in again. It’s okay. I’ve done it, and it’s the best thing I ever did because the timing is right now. Maybe it’s right for Evan, too.”
“You want to see him happy, don’t you?”
She smiles, and I like that she makes me feel this comfortable. “Yes. I do. I mean, I know he’s happy here, at work. For a long, long time he loved what he did; he loved this place more than he’d ever loved me. Ever loved anyone. But I can see the cracks now. He still loves what he does, still loves this place, that’ll never stop. But I think he needs more now. He needs a life.”
“I still love Mike, Dana, I just… I just don’t know if we have a future anymore. And I don’t know whether Evan is nothing more than an exciting adventure that’s just going to fizzle out and disappear, I don’t know. And that’s why I can’t be here.”
“You just need some time. So why don’t I give you that?”
I frown slightly. I don’t understand what she means.
“Take a few days, Lola. Away from here. I think that’s all you need. You love this job, and we don’t want you to go, so just take a few days. Please. And if you still feel the same way next week, we’ll talk again. Okay?”
I drop my gaze for a few beats, and I’m aware of the fact I’m twisting my engagement ring round and around my finger, it’s a nervous reaction but I can’t stop doing it.
“Okay. I’ll take a few days.”
When I look up she’s smiling, but I’m slightly annoyed with myself for being pushed in a direction I didn’t really want to go. “I’ll sort out someone to cover for you. I’ll make this all right, Lola. You just go home, and think about what you really want.”
I stand up and make my way toward the door, stopping just before I reach it. “Why are you being so good to me? After all the crap I caused yesterday?”
“I thought I’d already explained that to you. And besides, you remind me of me, okay? Stubborn, sometimes confused, and all because of that man in the office a few doors down.”
I hold her gaze for a few more seconds before I throw her a small smile and leave, heading to my cubicle outside Evan’s office to grab a few things before I go home. But he’s already here. He’s already in his office, did he know I was coming in early?
It’s pointless, of course, but I still hope that he doesn’t see me; hope he’s too caught up in whatever he’s doing to look up from his laptop, but I’m not that lucky. The second he notices me he beckons me into his office, and I can’t really ignore him, can I?
I push the door closed behind me but I don’t go too far inside.
“Have you seen Dana?” he asks, and I can’t read his expression. I don’t know what he’s thinking.
“Did she…?”
“I had dinner with her last night.” He gets up and comes around the front of his desk. “And she told me that she had a feeling you’d want to see her today. That you’d tell her you wanted to leave.”
“It’s for the best, don’t you think? Before any of the other partners find out.”
“The other partners can go fuck themselves, Lola. This has got nothing to do with any of them.”
“Sometimes relationships like ours – they’re frowned upon.”
“What? Lawyers banging their secretaries?” He raises an eyebrow and I try not to smile, but I can’t help myself.
“I’m taking a few days off, Evan. Dana’s sorting out someone to cover for me…”
“Are you staying in New York?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re back at Kat’s now, right?”
I narrow my eyes as I stare at him. “How do you…?”
“Mike told me.”
“Mike?”
He digs his hands in his pockets but his eyes stay locked on mine. “He came over last night, after Dana had, thankfully, left…”
“Mike came to your apartment? Why?”
“He was upset, Lola. He was looking for someone to take his shit out on, and he thought you were with me…”
“Why the hell would he think that when I told him I was going to Kat’s?”
“He just assumed.”
“Jesus!”
“You’ve moved out. But you’re still wearing the engagement ring.”
I look down at my left hand, and I slide the ring off and slip it into my purse before I raise my gaze. “Happy?”
“Come on, Lola, please…”
“I’ll leave a few notes for my replacement.” I turn to go, I need to get out of here, now, before Mike turns up, too.
“Take care, Lola. Okay?”
I don’t turn around. I leave his office and I go to my desk and I sit down and make those notes I need to leave for whoever’s going to cover for me over these next few days.
Am I coming back?
I don’t know.
Do I want to?
I don’t know.
Right now my life is one huge, hot mess and I need to sort that out.
I love Mike.
I want Evan.
I can’t have both…
Evan
I don’t want her to go, but a few days without her here is a much better option than having her leave for good. Without knowing what we are, where we stand? I can’t leave it that way. And for a man who’s taken charge of some huge and important legal cases in his time I am lost right now, as to how to handle this. But I look at her, outside at her desk, gathering her things, and I want her. I just don’t know if that’s still nothing more than a physical attraction, or something that runs that little bit deeper. I thought I was falling in love with her, and maybe I am. Maybe I’m still trying to deny those feelings, because she could still choose to stay with Mike. I want her to choose me.
“Where’s Lola going?”
I look up as Jess walks into my office. “She’s taking a few days off.”
Jess frowns, and I know she isn’t going to leave it there. She’s quite close to Lola, but I also know that she has no idea about anything that’s gone on between us, and she doesn’t need to know. Nobody else needs to know.
“Why?”
“Personal problems. That’s all I know, Jess.”
She throws a file down onto my desk. “I’m working with you now. On this.”
I pick up the file and take a look and I recognize it as a case I was working with Mike. Okay. So that’s how Dana’s playing this one.
“And why’s Mike moving offices?”
Jess isn’t stupid. I can already see the cogs turning, and I have no doubt that she’s going to call Lola at some point today to try and get some answers, but Lola won’t tell her anything. Not the truth, anyway.
“I have no idea, Jess.”
“He’s in Victor’s old office now. Much bigger than the one he was originally given. What’s he done to deserve that, huh?”
I look up and throw her one of my smiles. “Maybe Dana just likes the guy. Now, why don’t you go grab us a couple of coffees from across the street and we’ll get to work.”
“You’re such a dick, do you know that?”
I grin and wink
and she rolls her eyes.
“I’m not getting your coffee, Evan, so quit with the bullshit and let’s just get started, all right?”
“I lose one smart mouth and gain another.”
“You better believe it.”
She sits down at the meeting table in the corner of my office and I join her. “Working with me can be fun, y’know.”
“Yes, thank you, Evan, I have worked with you before. I’m not new to your crap.”
I throw her another smile, and I’m glad of the chance to lose myself in work.
Long hours.
Late nights.
I need that focus.
I need that distraction.
I still need Lola…
Twenty-Nine
Lola
“Why did you go to Evan’s apartment?” I stand aside to let him in, even though I’d rather he wasn’t here at all. I came to Kat’s to find some space, yet he’s here, uninvited, like I didn’t tell him I needed some time away. I don’t appreciate his ignoring me.
“Because I was fucking angry and upset that you were leaving me.”
“You thought I’d go straight to him? Really?”
“I don’t know what I was thinking, Lola, okay? My head was a fucking mess.”
“Is it better now?”
He looks at me. “You didn’t leave Cavendish King for good, then?”
“No. I didn’t. Not yet, anyway.”
He follows me into the kitchen. “Listen, Lola, I’ve been thinking.”
“You should’ve done some of that before you went barging into Evan’s apartment acting like some pissed off frat boy.”
“Let’s go back to Toronto.”
I turn around to look at him. “What?”
“Let’s just forget all this shit and make a brand new start. Together.”
“In Toronto.”
“You liked it there.”
“The only time I’ve ever spent there, Mike, was a few days here and there when I came with you to visit your mum and dad.”
“It’s what we need, Lola. Because I don’t think we can do anything here…”
I hold up a hand to stop him from talking. “Can you… can you just stop. Please. I’m not going to Toronto.”
Lawfully His (A Dirty Business Novel Book 1) Page 23
