Taken to Heart

by Jane Jackson

  Leaving the fire door open to warm the room, she shrugged out of her coat and hung it over the back of a chair, then refilled the black kettle and pulled it over the flames. Her stomach rumbled: another reminder of the meal she had missed.

  A sudden knock on the door made her start. She went to open it, expecting to see Lizzie. Instead Charles stood on the threshold. Rain had darkened the shoulder capes on his greatcoat and dripped from the brim of his hat as he took it off.

  Jenefer’s heart gave a great leap and she pulled the door wider. ‘Come in! I didn’t expect—’

  ‘Where were you?’ His features were pale and set.

  ‘I’m so sorry. I would have let you know had it been possible, but—’

  ‘I was under the impression we had an appointment.’

  His bitter anger had the effect of a slap, shattering her pleasure at seeing him. Vivid memories of her father’s belligerent demands filled her head. William too, since they became friends, had become ever more manipulative. Rage roared through her like a gale, leaving her shaking.

  ‘You forget yourself, Mr Polgray. How dare you speak so to me? I am not your employee. You have allowed me neither time to answer nor opportunity to explain.’ A huge lump blocked her throat and her eyes burned. She would not weep.

  Shock blanked his features for an instant then horror drained his face of colour.

  ‘Oh God.’ He raked a hand through his hair. ‘I— that was unforgivable. I-I had been looking forward so much to seeing you again. But you didn’t come. I waited an hour. I was sure that were you unwell you would have sent a note to inform me. So I came here. Mrs Clemmow told me you had intended visiting Mrs Varcoe and planned to be back by two. But when I spoke to her it was after four and had started raining again.’ He turned the brim of his hat round and round.

  ‘I imagined you lying injured on the moor. I wanted to ride up there and start looking. But Mrs Clemmow said it was more likely that because of the heavy rain Mrs Varcoe had persuaded you to stay there for the night, and if I went tramping about on the moor all I’d gain was a soaking and a chill. She advised me to go back to Kegwyn. So I did. But I couldn’t settle. Not until – I needed to know—’ The avalanche of words finally halted.

  Seeing the anguish in his eyes Jenefer felt the dregs of her rage dissolve. He had been worried about her. His disappointment matched her own. She realized that in the five days since she had last seen him he had lost weight. His features appeared sharper, and strain had deepened the crease between his brows and the lines bracketing his mouth.

  He dipped his head in a formal bow. ‘Now I have seen that you are safe I will leave you in peace. Please accept my sincere apologies.’

  ‘Don’t go,’ she blurted. ‘I should like to explain – I was just about to make some supper.’ She made a wry face. ‘I missed the dinner I was so looking forward to. Indeed, I have not eaten since this morning. You are most welcome to join me.’

  His slow smile kindled sweet warmth in her belly. ‘I should like that. Mrs Eustace had prepared an excellent meal. But without you there to share it I had little appetite.’

  Pleasure shimmered through her. Lifting her wet coat from the back of the chair she hung it on a wooden peg by the door. ‘Let me take yours.’

  ‘I’ll do it.’ Shedding his coat, he hung it and his hat on the peg next to hers.

  ‘It will be poor fare in comparison,’ she warned over her shoulder, opening the larder door. ‘Bread and cheese with pickled walnuts, and apple tart to follow.’

  A smile lit his tired face. ‘A feast in your company.’

  ‘I really am sorry I could not let you know,’ Jenefer said, returning to the table with dishes of butter and cheese. ‘Do sit down.’ He folded his length into the wooden armchair near the range and crossed one booted leg over the other. ‘Fortunately Roz – Mrs Casvellen – was at home and came as soon as Molly had given her my message.’ She set down a board containing half a wheaten loaf then fetched the pickles.

  ‘I’m sure that would give me great comfort,’ Charles said. ‘If I knew what you were talking about.’

  Turning from the dresser holding two plates, Jenefer looked at him blankly. ‘Didn’t I—? What an idiot. It was such – I was so—’ She stopped and took a deep breath. ‘What Lizzie told you was correct. I did ride out to visit Mrs Varcoe this morning. My intention was to keep her company for an hour then come home so I would have plenty of time—’ She stopped and set the plates down on opposite sides of the table. There was no need to tell him of her wish to take special care over her appearance. Instinctively she raised a hand to her hair. The front was wet, the rest untidy. She had so much wanted to look her best. With an inward sigh she continued.

  ‘But when I arrived I found Tamara – Mrs Varcoe – in some distress. Her confinement, not due for two weeks, had started early. The housekeeper was away due to family illness, and the only other person in the house was Molly, the maid who looks after Mrs Varcoe’s young son. I sent her across to Trescowe with a message for Mrs Casvellan to come as soon as possible. Thank heaven she was at home. She was marvellous, and knew exactly what to do.’

  ‘Knowing you as I do, I’m sure you were of great help to her, and to Mrs Varcoe.’

  ‘At first I was terrified.’ It didn’t occur to her to pretend otherwise, not to him. They had shared so much these past weeks. As the attraction between them had strengthened, so the barriers she had erected around her heart had begun to crumble and fall. Necessity had brought them together: his need, her knowledge.

  Working together had forged a bond neither had expected, a friendship that had blossomed and deepened, forcing her to recognize what she was missing. Living alone had afforded her protection from further hurt. But even before Charles arrived in Porthinnis she could no longer deny the void at the centre of her life that no amount of work could fill. Why else would she have contemplated marriage to William?

  ‘You, terrified? I cannot believe it.’

  ‘You would have, had you seen me. Fortunately with so much to do I had little time to think of myself. By the time the baby arrived Tamara was so exhausted I truly feared for her. But the instant she saw her daughter it was as if all memory of her effort and suffering were erased. I have never seen such – radiant joy. Then her husband returned.’ Vividly recalling his fear and Tamara’s tenderness made her throat swell. She swallowed hard.

  ‘There was nothing more I could do, so I came away. Roz wanted me to spend the night at Trescowe. But I was anxious to come home. I had no expectation of seeing you tonight. But please believe that I intended seeking you out in the morning in order to explain.’

  Leaning forward, Charles rested his elbows on his knees as he rubbed his face, then looked up at her. ‘I would not have thought it possible to feel more ashamed of myself. But I do.’

  ‘It was just one of those things. I’m sorry you were worried. Had there been time or opportunity I would have sent word.’ She reached into the drawer for knives and spoons. ‘Now we have both apologized I should like to hear how you got on in Truro.’

  He held her chair then seated himself opposite. While they ate he told her about his meeting with Ralph Daniell.

  ‘So the money is safely in your bank?’

  ‘It will be tomorrow morning. I left the banker’s draft with my attorney to deposit on my behalf. I was anxious to return to Porthinnis.’ His gaze held hers across the table.

  Powerfully drawn to him and made shy by a need new to her, she glanced away, wondering if he could see the betraying heat in her cheeks, and if so, if he guessed the cause. She rose to gather their empty plates and serve the apple pie. ‘You must be delighted with progress at the harbour. According to Hannah, Mr Keat is a marvel. No detail escapes his notice and already he has the men’s respect.’

  They talked on, and as the clock struck nine she offered him a cup of tea. About to reply he was interrupted by a rap on the door.

  As Jenefer hesitated, he rose from his chair and
crossed to stand where he would not be seen when she opened the door.

  ‘You will not want my presence here at this hour to be spread abroad,’ he said softly, his gaze holding hers. ‘It is no one else’s business.’

  ‘It’s probably Lizzie, just making sure I’m all right, and wondering why I was so late home.’

  Leaving the bottom half of the door bolted, Jenefer opened the top half, and jerked back. ‘Captain Pendarvis!’

  His eyes glittered in the lamplight as he steadied himself with a hand against the doorjamb and winked at her. ‘And a very good evening to you, Miss Trevanion. Can I come in a minute?’

  ‘Certainly not. I’m astonished you would even ask. Mr Lawry at The Standard has your money.’

  ‘I didn’t come for that.’ He was impatient. ‘I’ve been hearing talk. Talk about you, and I don’t like it.’

  Jenefer’s anger flared bright and hot as a flame. But her tone was crushing. ‘You are impertinent, sir. I am not responsible for what others say. Nor are you obliged to listen. If that was your reason for calling at this unsociable hour you should have spared yourself the trouble.’

  He swayed forward, clutching at the wall for support, his breath pungent with brandy fumes. ‘You shouldn’t be living in some old poky cottage, not when you could have a fine great house and—’

  ‘Captain Pendarvis, I beg you will say no more.’ Furious, she was also acutely aware of Charles listening. What must he be thinking? ‘My arrangements are none of your business. And your concern is misplaced. I am very happy here.’

  ‘You don’t mean that. You’re just making the best of it. Come on, maid,’ he wheedled. ‘Let me come in. I got money. You know that better’n anyone—’

  ‘You are offensive, sir.’ Jenefer started to close the door, but Pendarvis’s hand shot out to hold it open.

  ‘No, I didn’t mean it like that—’

  ‘Goodnight, Captain Pendarvis,’ Jenefer said firmly. In the shadows beside her she sensed Charles stiffen. He was about to come to her aid, which would only make matters worse. Pendarvis had been drinking and was in the mood for a fight. She had no doubt Charles would win. But it was she who would suffer when Pendarvis took revenge for her rejection by spreading it about that she and Charles had been alone in her cottage after dark. Closing the door she shot the top bolt across, then pressed her palms to her hot cheeks.

  ‘Does Pendarvis make a habit of bothering you?’

  She shook her head. ‘Tonight was the first time and I sincerely hope it will be the last.’ Hugging herself she rubbed her upper arms. ‘I have never sought his interest and certainly do not desire it.’

  ‘Then may I ask what is your connection with him?’

  ‘He’s master of a customs cutter.’

  ‘That I know. He came into The Standard one night while I was staying there. I saw Tom Lawry give him—’ He paused. ‘Of course: it was a bribe.’

  She gave a weary nod. ‘He is paid to ensure that every third or fourth run his cutter is patrolling some distant part of the coast.’

  ‘What happens at the other times?’

  ‘Occasionally Will Prowse manages to slip by without being seen. But if he and the captain meet at sea, Will hands over part of the cargo. In return, he is permitted to bring back the rest unhindered. Captain Pendarvis returns to Penzance with proof that he’s doing his job. Though I suspect that only a fraction of the confiscated cargo actually ends up in the bonded store.’ She darted him a quick smile. ‘I offered you tea.’

  He caught her hand, held it between both of his. ‘Not tonight. It is time I went. You have had a long and tiring day.’

  ‘I’m so glad you came, and that you stayed.’

  As she reached for the latch he raised her hand to his lips. Her breath caught as he drew her gently towards him. She knew if she pulled back he would let her go. But she didn’t want that.

  His free hand stroked lightly down her face, then slid to the nape of her neck.

  As her heart quickened she wondered if he could hear it. Cupping her face, he bent his head, whispered her name, then his lips brushed hers once, again, then claimed hers in a kiss as soft as a sigh.

  Resting her hands against his waistcoat, she was awed to feel his heart pounding against her palm, as hard and fast as her own.

  His arms went round her, drawing her closer still and she went to him willingly, surrendering herself to the wondrous sensations kindled by his mouth on hers. The kiss deepened. Tenderness gave way to passion, need, hunger. He offered she took, he demanded she gave, and lost herself in him. When he raised his head he was breathing hard, and she clung to him, momentarily bereft, her legs weak and trembling.

  ‘Jenefer, I – there is so much I have to tell you. But—’

  ‘It’s late, and now is not the time?’ She smiled up at him shakily, expecting a wry smile in return at the way events seemed to conspire against them. But his expression remained serious, his gaze dark, intense. She sensed a battle raging within him.

  ‘Charles? What is it?’

  Another knock came. Jenefer tensed and Charles cursed under his breath.

  ‘You all right, bird?’ Lizzie’s voice came through the door.

  As Charles stepped back out of sight, Jenefer lifted the latch and opened the top half.

  ‘I’m fine, Lizzie.’

  ‘Only Sam thought he heard—’

  ‘It was Captain Pendarvis. I sent him round to Tom Lawry.’

  ‘Mister come looking for you earlier. Some worried he was.’

  ‘I’ll see him tomorrow. Tamara gave birth to a baby girl late this afternoon. Roz Casvellan and I were with her. That’s why I was late back.’

  ‘Well, bless her dear heart. All right is she? And the babby?’

  ‘They’re both very well. But I’m exhausted.’

  ‘You get up over stairs and go bed. I’ll see you in the morning.’

  ‘Thanks, Lizzie. Goodnight.’

  ‘’Night, my bird.’

  Jenefer closed the door and kept her head close to it, listening. ‘She’s pushed the bolt across.’

  ‘I should go.’ Charles’s voice was strained.

  Seeking comfort and reassurance, needing to touch him, she echoed his gesture and laid her hand along his face. The roughness of stubble against her palm made something swoop inside her. ‘Thank you for coming, for worrying about me, and for staying.’

  With a groan, he kissed her once more. It was hard, fierce, and her hunger matched his. Tearing himself away, he seized his greatcoat from the peg and snatched up his hat and gloves as she quietly unbolted the door.

  ‘You are everything to me,’ he whispered harshly. ‘Everything. Don’t ever doubt it.’

  He walked fast, oblivious to his surroundings. He had arrived in Porthinnis intent on his plans for the harbour: needing the project to be successful to prove to himself that the disaster of his private life was an isolated mistake; that in all else his judgement was sound.

  Then he had met Jenefer Trevanion. That first lightning bolt of attraction had deepened into something he never expected and for which he was unprepared. He had fallen headlong in love with her. And loving her he hated knowing he was the cause of her confusion, the fear she tried so hard to hide that his refusal to declare himself implied some fault in her.

  He owed her the truth, and regardless of his promise to Samson Kerrow, he must tell her soon. The longer he delayed the greater the risk of her hearing it from someone else. Had he told her the truth of his situation when they first met.… But his promise forbade it. Nor had he known then the impact she would have on his life, on his heart. Would she forgive him? She must. He could not bear to lose her.

  On Saturday morning Jenefer called into the shop on her way down to the harbour.

  ‘What happened last night?’ Hannah demanded quietly as she closed the door behind a departing customer.

  Jenefer set her basket on the counter. ‘I’ve no idea, Hannah. I haven’t been down to the harbour y
et.’

  ‘Nothing to do with the harbour. Jake Pendarvis was waiting for Will Prowse and took half the cargo.’

  ‘What?’ Shock tingled unpleasantly through Jenefer’s limbs.

  ‘I know. Jack Mitchell told me that when they come back into harbour, Will’s brother had to carry him home. Far as I can make out, Pendarvis told Will to think hisself lucky he’d got off with a just few bruises. Next time he’d be arrested. And if he was brought up before Sir Edward Pengarrick he’d be sentenced to transportation and his boat sawn into three pieces.’

  ‘I don’t understand—’

  ‘Didn’t you pay Pendarvis?’

  ‘Of course I did. I took the money round to Tom Lawry as usual last Monday.’

  ‘So what’s he at?’

  ‘I have no idea.’ Even as she spoke Jenefer remembered Pendarvis’s visit to her cottage, and her rebuff. Surely he wouldn’t jeopardize an arrangement that had suited him very well just because she turned him down? There had to be another reason. Yet she couldn’t think of one. What on earth would have persuaded him that she would welcome his attentions? The very thought made her shudder.

  ‘I suppose the news is on its way around the village.’

  ‘The few who’ve come in the shop are angry at losing stuff they’ve paid for. But because all the men have got work, I reck’n people won’t feel it so bad about it as they might have done. Still, one thing’s for certain, we can’t never trust Pendarvis again. And Will Prowse can’t go smuggling no more.’ Hannah snorted. ‘Can you see ’n doing an honest day’s work? He won’t like that.’

  ‘He would like gaol and transportation even less,’ Jenefer pointed out.

  ‘What are us going to do? How shall us get our free trade goods?’

  Jenefer thought. ‘You might be able to buy from the Brague men. Obviously their prices will be higher. But our people will still be better off as they won’t have to pay the bribe, or face the loss of one in every three or four cargoes.’

  ‘We won’t have to worry about Pendarvis stopping the Brague boats,’ Hannah said with a knowing look. ‘Not with Sir Edward Pengarrick putting up the money for their cargoes.’