by Anya Palvin
"I was. There were some issues that I managed to sort out easily enough. But," He paused and glanced at her, and she frowned. "I was hoping that we wouldn't talk about work this evening. I'd like to get to know you." He reached over and squeezed the hand that lay on her lap.
"That's perfectly fine with me." She said a little breathy, and tried to ignore the gooseflesh that his touch brought on to her. It was as though the universe had chosen to abide with her "not thinking about the big lie" resolution and she incredibly appreciate it. "So, is there anything you would like to know to start off with?"
"Sure." He eased into the parking space in front of the restaurant. "But inside, or else we might spend the entire evening in the car."
Diana reminded herself that she shouldn't be shocked at the fact that he had taken her to a restaurant she had never been to, even though it was only a ten minute drive from her house. It was one she had always looked at with longing, or in passing, as she never quite felt comfortable with the formality that the place exuded. But when she walked in, she was surprised to find that the ambience was more of warmth than the frigidity she had expected. Candlelights glimmered in the slightly dim room, and made the pleasant tones of the singer and live band seem all the more intimate. Couples were already slow-dancing on the small dance space in front of the band, and Diana wondered if she would be joining them this evening. Suddenly, she badly wanted to dance with William, to feel the strength of his arms around her and to lay her cheek on his shoulder in that way she knew would make her feel safe. He was making her a little corny, she thought, and heated when his hand touched the small of her back. As he guided her to their table, she blushed again from embarrassment, scolding herself not to act like a teenage girl on her first date.
She smiled at him when he pulled the chair from the table, and watched as he ordered them wine. The candlelight made him look even more fairy-tale-like, she thought, wondering how he could look so handsome without even trying. His eyes met hers as the waiter walked away, and for a moment, they remained silent. There was tension between them and when she was afraid she might kiss him again if the moment further continues thus she come to the decision to break the silence. "This place is beautiful. Have you been here before?"
"No, never." William said, his eyes amused, making her wonder what her expression was telling him. "My dad actually recommended this place, and he clearly knew what he was talking about."
"You said you were close with him?" Diana said, finding the perfect segue way to the more personal conversations he had requested for the evening.
"I am. Well," William considered, "I think we're as close as we could be considering how similar we are. Especially as the strongest characteristic we share is stubbornness."
"What?" Diana gaped her eyes. "You, stubborn? I never would have guessed that."
"Really?" He frowned, but the corners of his mouth turned up.
"Absolutely not. I would never regard the way you pursued me despite my reservations as stubbornness."
"Oh? I distinctly remember you being the one who suggested this date."
Diana picked up the glass of water and sipped, very deliberately avoiding his eyes. "I don't know what you are talking about, William."
He chuckled. "I will say this – I'm glad I talked you into this."
He looked her directly in the eyes in such a way that made her ache to want to tell him everything, just so that she knew whether it would stay there or not. She wished with all her might that this could be real, and it broke her that she couldn't say if it was. It was even worse that it was her fault that there was no clarity regarding it. But she forced the thoughts away, sad that her lie had found a way to enter the evening regardless of her resolution. She was grateful when she was given a moment to compose herself as the waiter arrived with the wine, and William went through the process of determining whether or not it was good.
"Tell me about how you grew up." William asked almost as soon as their waiter left. So she did. She explained how stable her life had been when she was younger. Her parents had gone out of their way to ensure that she didn't have the commotion that Connor had had, and, she thought, that Connor would also have the stability the first few years of his life had lacked. She realised that she hadn't told William about Connor's mother, and as she relayed the story, she knew that he was thinking about his own mother, and how similar the story was to his own.
"Do you miss your mother?" She asked when she was done and there was silence. The question was said in a voice that was filled with compassion.
"I think about her a lot." William answered. "For a long time, I wondered what I had done wrong, what about me that made her to the decision to leave. It's definitely had its effect." He stopped for a minute, and then looked at her. "But it also come clear to me that that doesn’t define of who am I.There are people in my life that prove that to me every day." He squeezed the hand she hadn't realised she had offered to him.
"It takes a lot of courage to feel that way. For what it's worth, I'm proud of you." She said, and realised that the words were what her heart had beat at every point of his story.
"It means a lot." He smiled, and once again, they shared a moment that she couldn't quite place her finger on. It was like she warmness spread all over her being and she felt most of it deep down in her heart. "So, what hidden talent do you have?" She asked, hoping to break the tension.
His smile turned into a grin. "I can dance."
She perked up. "What kind of dance?"
"Hip hop."
Her eyes widened. "No way!"
"Oh, yes. My parents tried to keep me out of trouble in high school and one of the activities was hip hop. It turned out I had quite a knack for it."
"You have to convince me!" Diana basically squealed, and she wasn't proud of it.
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours," He teased. "What is your secret talent?"
"I sing."
He looked at her for a moment. "Somehow I'm not surprised. When can I expect to hear it?"
"Right after your hip-hop performance."
"Touché." He tilted his glass towards her, and grinned.
8.
William reminded himself not to stare as he and Diana left the restaurant, but he couldn't help but sneak a glimpse at her. She wasn't dolled up in the way Julia had always been when they'd gone out. No, she was dressed so simply and so femininely that it had stirred up a striking feeling of masculinity inside of him. He didn't have time to entertain the feeling any further because she caught him looking at her and shyly smiled at him, and with all his might he hold himself with all his might not to grab her close and end up giving her an intense kiss in her lips which he had been longing for the past week.
"Would you like to take a walk on the beach?"
"Sure." Diana answered, and offered her hand to him. It was a simple thing, William thought, but it meant that she was opening up to him. The knowledge warmed him, and he took her hand and helped steady her when she moved to take her shoes off. He followed and looked over when they got to the sand and she sighed.
"There's nothing better than the feeling of sand between your toes."
"Well, I could think of a few things." William teased, and even in the dark knew that she was blushing. His eyes just had adjusted with the darkness now, and he could see her features. Even in dim light her beauty was not lessened by it, he took her hand once again pulling her a little closer to him. They walked in silence for a bit, and then she said, "I have a confession to make."
"Really? Something other than the thousands you already confessed this evening?"
She stuck her tongue out. "I don't know if you deserve that I tell you this now."
"I was kidding." He squeezed her hand. "Come on – tell me."
"I don't want to."
"Please."
"Okay, fine. I'm –"
William wasn't sure what happened next, but Diana stumbled and instinctually, he wrapped his arms around her to stop her from f
alling. There was a pause as he took a moment to process the fact that she was in his arms, even if it had been by accident.
"Are you okay?" He asked when he managed to find his voice again.
"Yeah," she answered, a little breathy. "I guess it won't be much of a surprise that I was about to tell you I can be a little clumsy at times."1
He chuckled, and pulled her closer so that she had to look up at him. His hands were around her waist, and he could feel the softness of her in his arms.
"I don't want to do this without asking this time." He whispered, and enjoyed the way her eyes widened and heated when she realised what he was asking. But she didn't answer him. Instead, she simply lifted her arms to around his neck, and pulled his head closer.
The kiss was just as soft, and as magical as the first they'd shared. It was gentle and tender at first, and then he deepened it, and suddenly, warmth became heat. His hand slid up from her waist to her neck, and explosions went off in his mind and body. The sparks of it he put into their kiss as he pulled her closer, and he revelled in the feel of her body against his. She moved her hands, sliding them over his chest, and fire heated his skin wherever she touched. And when he moved to pull her shirt from her pants so that he could touch her skin, he remembered that they were on a public beach where everyone could see them.
He eased back, and cleared his throat. "Probably---we should---this is not the right place for this." He couldn't see Diana's face, but he could hear her breathing, and he was relieved to know that he wasn't the only one who had gotten lost in their kiss. And he said, "Let me take you home."
"No...I'm not ready for that."
He chuckled, glad to break the tension. "That wasn't quite what I meant."
"What?" Diana almost choked, and William's chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh. But for the sake of her sanity – and pride – he refrained from saying anything that would embarrass her further.
"Would you like to go on walking?" He asked, but then noticed the small drops of water which had settled on her skin. "It's drizzling."
"Then let's get out of here." She said, and with her words, the drizzling turned into a torrent of rain. William grabbed her hand as they ran their way tohis car, and the final bit of tension that had settled between them after the kiss was lost in the rush – and exhilaration – of the dash. Contentment settled over them as they made their way to her house, and William felt incredibly at ease with the silence that it brought. It gave him an opportunity to think about the evening, and all the things about himself that he had revealed to her. He never spoke about his mother before to anyone nor had he ever opened up the absence that had affected him. He hadn't even told Julia. The thought unsettled him as he considered that perhaps he had a bigger part to play in their break-up than he'd thought. Maybe there was a connection between his relationship with his mother and his relationship with Julia. But he didn't want to think about that now. Now, he just wanted to enjoy spending time with Diana, and because he didn't want the evening to end, he said,
"Come with me to lunch with my family on Sunday. I want you to meet my father and stepmother and to my sister."
It was really out of his character to be that talkative but William was unaware that he was babbling and he couldn’t seem to put himself to stop."You can make a decision about your brother after that. I just want you to meet the people who are important to me first." Especially because you are now one of them.1
His heart beats so fast against his chest as the silence overtook between them. He could see the rambling of emotion on her face, and he knew that she was gathering all the reasons she could to say no. He reached over and squeezed her hand, hoping that it would somehow reveal to her all the things he couldn't bring to say. She looked at him, and her eyes softened. "Okay. I'll go with you."
Before he could respond, she grabbed her handbag from the floor, and leaned across the car to kiss him. It was a simple gesture, one that spoke of familiarity and affection, and his words stuck in his throat.
"I'll see you on Sunday then." She said, and got out the car before he could regain his power to speak. William could only think that she hadn't let him respond because she didn't want to give herself the chance to change her mind. Regardless of what it was, she was coming with him to his family lunch on Sunday, and he couldn't wait.
* * *
"It has been twice in a row you're cancelling on me, Diana. Is everything okay?"
Diana bit her lip upon hearing his brother’s concern voice. She’s lucky that they were not personally talking or else he would surely find out she’s not telling the truth. It was Saturday evening and she had spent the entire day going back and forth between whether she should cancel on Connor or on William. There was a bloody war between her mind and heart and every time her mind told her it was better if she cancelled with William, her heart won’t agree as an image of him when she’d told him he would go appears to her mind.And now she was lying on her bed with a packet of chips beside her, telling Connor she won't be seeing him for their weekly lunch.
"Everything is fine," she lied, "I just have a thing that I have to go to tomorrow afternoon."
"A thing?" Connor's voiced dripped with implication.
"Yes. It is something I don’t want to talk to you about."
"It's a date." Diana could tell the light had gone off over his head. "You're dating someone? This is all beginning to make sense now."
"Don't overreact." She rolled her eyes. "It's just a thing. And it probably won't work out anyway."
"Why not? You haven't dated anyone in a long time. This guy has to have something special if he's got you to enter the dating world again."
Diana wished his words weren't true. "It's complicated. I'll tell you some other time." You'll probably find out soon anyway.
"Diana?" Connor voice softened. "You're sure you're okay? I know this thing with the hotel is complicated and---"
"I'm fine." She cut him in mid-sentence as she didn't want him to worry about her, too. "It'll sort itself out. I'm sure you and Mr King," she said very deliberately, "will make sure that this efficiency project goes off without too many casualties."
"We're working on it. He's a great guy. I think he'll try to make this as painless as possible. We've already spoken about the retrenchment packages for the staff –" He cut himself off. "Oh, God. I'm so sorry, Cals. I didn't mean to be insensitive."
"It's okay. I get it. Look, I have to go. I'll see you soon, okay?"
She said her goodbyes and shut her eyes when the call was done. She couldn't blame her brother for his slip – they usually spoke about everything and work was rarely the exception. But she couldn't help but think that one of those retrenchment packages was going to go to Kate, or Miranda, or Jim, or any one of the people she cared about at the hotel. And – she had to face the truth of it – one of those packages probably had her name on it, too.
She knew she wasn't making the situation any better by entertaining things with William. Especially last Friday’s event had proven to her that she wanted more with him. She had had such a wonderful time with him and she could feel they can relate to each other. They'd laughed and switched to serious conversations in the same breath, and then they'd laughed again. She honestly liked him, and she'd be happy just being his friend. But then she remembered their kiss, and she knew she was lying to herself if she thought friendship would be enough to satisfy her.
She harshly blew air from her mouth, and longed for a glass of water to soothe her suddenly dry throat. The kiss on the beach last night hadn't left her mind since he dropped her at home that night. She wasn't proud of it, but she wanted to see him again even if it was just so that she could feel once again his lips against hers. But it wasn't real, she reminded herself. It was a fantasy world that she'd created with her dishonesty. She wanted it to be real so much that she had almost told him the truth on Friday. But she was glad she hadn't – it would have been the wrong time, and she hadn't prepared what she'd wanted to say.
> She had been deeply contemplating about it now and if she was going to do this---being completely honest with him, then she have to say it directly with him----without beating around the bush. She'd to apologise and confess to him that the evening when they first met had caught her by surprise-– as had seeing him the next day. And she would explain that she had been scared that the miscommunication and misunderstanding that happened between them would compromise her job, the job she was certain wouldn't be there in a few weeks anyway. She would assure him that she didn't want any special treatment and that she just wanted to tell him the truth so that they could explore their feelings with one another honestly. And though it wasn't the best situation, she was surprisingly relieved by her decision.
* * *
"I don't think I want to do this."
Diana stood outside of William's face-brick house and her feet were frozen to the ground.
William laughed. "Come on, they already expecting you, so you can't back out now. Besides, I'm pretty sure they already know we are here." He had barely said the words before the burst of energy that was his sister rushed towards them. Tara stopped short in front of Diana, and Diana realised the impact she had braced for wasn't necessary.
"Hi," Tara said, shyly, pulling at one of her pigtails.
"Hi." Diana responded, her heart melting at the girl's hesitation. She bent down in front of her to be at the same eye level with her and extended out her hand. "I'm Diana."
Tara looked down at her hand, and then at Diana's face, before taking it solemnly. "I'm Tara."
"It's very nice to meet you, Tara. I like your t-shirt. Is that a kitten?"
"Yeah. They're my favourite animal. Did you know that we shouldn't take cats by the scruff of their neck?" She looked solemnly at Diana. "We don't know how to do it properly, and only mommy cats know how to do it for their own kittens."
"Natural Sciences project for school, I'm thinking." William said. "Hey munchkin. You think you're too good for me now?" Tara giggled and shook her head. "Then come and give me a hug."
