by Anya Palvin
Diana smiled as William scooped Tara up into a bear hug. She squeezed him back, and Diana knew that the affection wasn't a show – they genuinely loved one another. And her heart tilted even more along the axis that leaned towards William. When he put her down, Tara looked up at Diana.
"Do you want to meet my kitty?"
"I would love to."
And just like that, Diana found her hand being taken by a tiny one and she was led through the oak door of William's childhood home. She barely had time to take in the cream walls, wooden furniture and sparks of green and white scattered across the living room before she was directed – and it felt very much like that – up a spiral staircase and into a very modern girl's bedroom. White and grey flowered wallpaper covered the walls of the room, and made the pink and green bedding and decorations stand out starkly against it.Thebookshelf in the corner waspiled up with books and a desk just next to it was filled with papers. Tara walked to her bed and jumped neatly in the middle of it, grinning at Diana. And for the first time, Diana had the opportunity to see that she was missing a few teeth.
"Chester is sleeping on my desk chair."
Tara announced, and Diana turned to see a rather fat ginger cat curled in a ball at the desk, watching her with some boredom. Rather fat was probably an understatement, she thought, as she took in how the cat's body claimed all the space of an already-big chair. She walked towards him and crouching, rubbed behind his ears. Chester turned his head towards her and closed his eyes, purring in a way she imagined cats gave their approval.
"How did you get Chester's name?"
"I named him after my favourite character in a book." She pointed at one in her bookshelf. "Do you want to read it with me?"
"Diana first has to meet mom and dad before she can read with you, Tara." William spoke from the door, and for the first time, Diana realised he was there. "We'll come up and play with you after lunch, okay?"
"Okay." Tara was not difficult to convince. "But then you have to help me practise for the talent show." She added before they went outside the room.
Diana laughed as William pulled a face that told her that was the very last thing he wanted to do. "Okay, munchkin. See you in a bit."
Diana took that as her cue to leave, and she gave the little girl a wave.
"I'm sorry, she gets a bit excited with visitors."
"Oh, I don't mind," Diana said, but her eyes were fixed on the pictures along the corridor. She stopped in front of one of a young boy on a horse. "Is this you?" She turned in time to see him cringe.
"Yeah. It was one of the activities my dad put me in after my mom left. He thought horses would be a good distraction for me."
"Did you find it fun?" She traced the boy's face with her finger, completely taken by how fragile he looked. She wished with all her heart that she could go back in time and save him from the pain that was etched into this face. Thatpain which unforgivingly messed up with him at such an early stage of his life. That same pain which is recognizable by her because she had been acquainted to it into for months after her parents had died.
"I did, but not there. This picture was taken on the first day I started lessons. I was not happy."
Diana felt something shift inside of her, and she knew that she was in trouble. She cleared her suddenly dry throat. "Maybe we should go down and greet your parents."
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." William took her hand and guided her down the stairs. She walked through the lounge she hadn't had much time to admire earlier, and entered the open-plan kitchen and dining room. The space was enormous – probably twice the size of her entire house---it lacks sophistication yet it oozes modernity at the same time. The counters weremade of igneous rock that was granular andphaneritic in textureand was highlighted by pops of colour in the kitchen and looked out onto a garden that made her drool. The dining room was more elegant – wooden floors with a black dining room set was decked out with cutlery and crockery that looked incredibly expensive. But even as she took all of this in, she was more caught in awe by the man who sat at the kitchen counter next to a beautiful older woman. His hair was greyed and he didn't quite have the same eyes, but other than that, she imagined she was seeing William in a few decades. When he saw her, he stood with the woman next to him, who Diana imagined was William's stepmother.
"Hi Dad," William shook his father's hand and tapped the other on his back. "Gloria." He kissed the woman on her cheek. "I'd like you to meet Diana."
William's father offered his hand. "It’s lovely to meet you, Diana." Even his voice sounded like William's. "I'm John King."
"I can see where William inherited his good looks from." Diana said as she shook John's hand, and was treated to a chuckle.
"You clearly know how to make it in this family." Gloria smiled at Diana, and some of the pressure on her chest eased. "I'm Gloria, William's stepmother. It's wonderful to finally meet you." The way she said "finally" made Diana raise her eyebrows at William as she was greeted with a kiss on the cheek. William nonchalantly winked at her, and then went to the dishes on the counter.
"This smells delicious. Did you get someone to make this, Gloria?"
Gloria rolled her eyes. "You burn something one time, and all of a sudden you can't cook. May I remind you that the only reason that even happened was because you needed my help?"
William grinned. "You do so every time I bring it up, so we both know that you can and will."
"You’re a cheeky monster one." Gloria pinched his cheek as though he were a child. "Would you like something to drink, Diana?"
Diana felt like she was watching lunch from outside of herself. The Kings is a happy family and it reminded her of lunches at her own house when her parents had still been alive. William had been right about his relationship with his father – she could tell that they were close, but the relationship was pervade with disagreements and debates about aspects of the world that were a part of the grey. Gloria played the referee among them, but she did so fondly, only making comments when the conversation became too heated. She seemed content with the repartee, and often gave Diana a conspiratorial wink just before she would step in. And Tara was a bubbly addition to the family that they all clearly doted on, listening to every statement she made even when it was just to point out more cat facts.
Diana couldn't quite place her finger on the feeling that settled in her belly, the one that told her she had made a mistake accompanying William today. She saw him as a son, as a brother, and it only made her want him as a boyfriend – or, she realised, as more.
She just realizes she’s falling more and more deeply in love with this man.
The sudden bolt of realisation made her choke on the wine she had been drinking, causing concern to ripple through the family. William shot a concerned look, but she shook her head and made some comment about the sports match they had been discussion before. It turned the conversation back on track, and when she thought an appropriate amount of time had passed, she excused herself and went to the bathroom. The mirror told her that she hadn't changed – her face was still round and perhaps slightly red. She had worn her hair down today with gold hoop earrings, and her blue shirt flattered her skin tone and brought out the darkness of her hair. She looked absolutely normal.
She sighed and turned her back to the mirror, looking at the huge bath and clear shower in the bathroom. The tiles here were blue and white, making the room look slightly aquatic. And didn't have the calming effect that she suspected was the purpose behind the design. Her heart was beating double-time in her chest, just as it had when she'd realised that she was falling in love with William----because that’s the least thing she would want to happen right now. She had always imagined the day she would fall in love. Truly fall in love, not the feelings of affection that she had experienced from time to time. No, falling in love for her was supposed to be a journey – a slow one. She would meet a man, and she would know from the beginning that she liked him, and he would, too. They'd go out on a fe
w dates, see if the like could become something else, and they would realise pretty soon that it could. So they would go steady, and eventually, when she was sure enough that it was the right time and that he felt the same way about her, she would allow herself to fall in love with him.
A voice in her head lure her to think about how she had followed the first few steps of her plan pretty accurately with William, even though the timing she had been imagining about had been a lot more rushed than she'd expected. But she couldn't get over the fact that she'd skipped the middle part – the part where she would feel secure and safe in the relationship – and gone right ahead and fallen in love with him. She thrust a hand through her hand, badly wanting to pull at it in frustration. But she didn't. Instead, she considered why she was completely freaked out by the prospect of falling in love with William. Though the pieces were there, swirling around in her head, Diana couldn't give herself in them now. She knew she had been in the bathroom only a few minutes, but it felt to her as though it had been ages. It should have been ages, she thought, as she made her way back to the dining room. She had just discovered emotions that had been hiding inside her around for who knows how long. She didn't quite feel right about the fact that it had only been a few minutes for her to finally find them. And, she reminded herself, name them.
Before she actually made it to the dining-room, she was intercepted by Tara. "Hey."
"Hey." Diana had to smile at the slyness she could see on Tara's face. She had clearly been scouted.
"Do you want to help me practise my talent show act now?"
Yes, Diana thought, she had definitely been scouted.
"Sure. Let me just go tell William –"
"Oh, I asked." Tara quickly took Diana's hand and led her in the direction of the staircase. "We probably have about half an hour before he comes to look for you. That's enough time for you to learn the dance."
Diana had the distinct impression that she was being defraud, but allowed herself to be led past the staircase to a room just behind it. It was clearly decorated to be a playroom as it was largely empty except for some stationery lying around an open book on the floor and a music player in the corner. Tara walked to the player and pressed play, and began to teach Diana her routine for the talent show. Half an hour later and Diana were now familiar with most of the moves and part of the lyrics to the Taylor Swift song she was supposed to sing with Tara. She was certain the girl had convinced William to allow her to steal Diana if she gave them a show, and Diana had resigned herself to the fact that she was going to sing and dance in front of the man she was falling in love with and his family.
"I wish I had a voice like you." Tara said longingly, looking at Diana in a way that broke her heart.
"You have a very good voice, Tara. I think you're going to do well in the show."
"Really?" She perked up.
"Yeah." And because she knew her part, Diana said, "We should go show your mom and dad what we've practised."
She was treated to the brightest smile she had ever seen, and waited obediently as Tara rushed from the room to call her audience. William got there first, carrying two chairs, and he smiled at her in a way that made her insides crumble. She narrowed her eyes at him so he knew she knew what he had done, and smiled at the gratitude practically written on Gloria's face as she entered the room. She was given her cue to take the starting position, and she waddled her way through the performance, following along with Tara as best she could consider the time she had had to practise. As she sang the last line of her part, she caught William's eye, and for first time since they met, she felt electricity jolt through her. She almost tripped through the last part of the song, and was breathless from more than just the dancing when the performance was done.
"I definitely think you're going to rock the show, munchkin." William said, applauding loudly as he came towards them, his eyes still locked on Diana.
"Do you think so?" Tara smiled up at her brother, and then turned to Diana. "Will you be there, Diana?"
And suddenly, the spell was broken. Diana looked down at the girl. "When is it?"
"Next month." Tara shrugged. "I want to practice a lot. Don't worry, you don't have to sing with me. I just want you there."
And for the first time that day – the day she had convinced herself to enjoy without thinking about reality – Diana was forced to face the truth.
She may not be around next month.
9.
"Thank you for coming with me today and for letting me witnessed your moves with Tara."
William stopped in front of Diana's house and grinned, looking pretty pleased.
"You think I've forgotten our deal, Mr King." She narrowed her eyes at him. "But I haven't. You have to show me your moves now."
"I don't remember that particular deal."
"Why am I not surprised?" Diana got out of the car, and waited for William to walk her to the front door. Her heart was breaking on the inside, the feeling of dread and devastation an iceberg in her stomach. "Thank you for having me." They stopped at her door. "I had fun, despite your trickery."
"I'm glad. Now," He moved closer to her. "Can I kiss you goodnight?"
Diana leaned forward and closed her eyes in response. She felt his lips on hers, and though she wanted it to be like the kisses they'd shared before, her heart wouldn't let it be. No, instead it wanted to say goodbye to him, because Diana knew that when she told him the truth – there was no more doubt in her mind now that she would have to – there would be no more kisses, and no more tenderness. So she threw caution to the wind and dropped her handbag to wrap her arms around him. She pressed against him, wanting to memorise every part of him. His arms tightened in response, drawing her even closer, and she savoured it, savouring the warmth. She slid her hands over his back, up, through his hair, and then finally, settling them on either side of his face. When her heart told her it was time, she drew back, seeing in his eyes the confusion drawn by the intensity. Before he could ask, however, the front door of her house opened, and dread filled her when she realised who it was.
"Connor." She stepped back from William purposefully, hating the mixture of surprise and anger on her brother's face. "You didn't tell me you were coming over. Your car isn't here."
"I took a taxi. I wanted to surprise you, but clearly, I should have called first."
Diana knew he was looking at the flush of her skin and the mess of William's hair, and put two and two together. "This is the 'thing' you were talking about?"
"Yes." Diana cautioned him with her eyes, and saw anger heat when he realised what she was asking of him. She turned to William. "You should probably go now."
"Are you sure? I'd like to help. To explain." He looked from Connor to Diana, and then asked, "Are you going to be okay?"
Diana saw the worry, and squeezed his shoulder. "Yeah, I'll be okay."
With one more worried glance between the two of them, William nodded and went to his car, the purr of it sounding gently a few minutes later as he drove away. Diana walked past her brother into the house, and threw back the half glass of whiskey he had helped himself to that stood on the table.
"What do you want to know?" She asked once she was done.
Connor was watching her steadily, his body tensed in the way it did when he was angry, but didn't want to explode. "What's going on?"
"You're going to have to be more specific if you want me to answer that." Diana felt an eerie calm that something told her she should be concerned about. Particularly because her brother's eyebrows lifted to his hairline at her remark.
"Oh? How about the fact that I just caught you in a compromising position with your boss?"
Diana sighed and flopped down on the couch that she had somehow walked to. "I made a mistake." Something on her face must have alerted Connor to the turmoil that was happening inside of her because his face softened. He walked to the couch and sat down beside, and though his body was still tensed, he said,
"Okay, tell me what h
appened."
There was a moment of silence, and then she started. "The evening of the welcome event I got stuck in the elevator with William when the power went out. We chatted, and then had a drink together before I knew who he was. But when I found out he was the reason we were there, I freaked out and left." Diana almost felt the anxiety that had riddled her when her brother had revealed who William was. "The next day he came into my office, thinking it was yours, and I couldn't bring myself to tell him who I was." She shook her head. "I should have said something. I mean, it wouldn't have been any harm for me to tell him I had made a mistake and introduce myself then. But I was scared, and so I let him believe I was there to see Kate, and thought I would give myself some time to formulate my answer."
"And then I asked you to join us for lunch, and you couldn't say anything?" Connor kept his face passive, but Diana knew what that muscle that jumped above his eye meant.
"I didn't think I could. I didn't want him to think I intended to deceive him, or that you had anything to do with it."
"You weren't thinking about me, Diana." The muscle sprang again. "You knew that you should have said something then, and you were afraid to."
"I was!" She got up and started pacing the floor. "Do you know what it feels like to have to worry about your job? No, of course you don't." She threw her hands in the air. "Because you've always had everything figured out. You've always had your life in order and I'm the one that keeps messing up."
The surprise on Connor's face was like a punch of guilt to her gut. "I don't even know where to begin with that." He shook his head and stood as though the action would clear his head. "You're worried about your job? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because you've been so worried about the hotel since we heard about William! You didn't need to worry for me as well. You're the reason I have a job in the first place." She said, and hated the warmth she felt in her eyes. "I can't keep asking you to save me, Connor. I need to do this for myself. And if that means dealing with being laid off, then so be it."
