Love Me Or Leave Me

by Claudia Carroll

  Anyway, it’s just coming up to lunchtime one day, when I’m dashing out of one meeting to get back to my desk and catch up on emails. I’m padding my way down the softly carpeted back stairs, leading into the rabbit warren of tiny basement offices that’s a bit like the nerve centre of the whole operation, when suddenly I notice a dramatic shift in the atmosphere round here. Hard to describe, but it’s almost like the health inspectors or else some contrary restaurant critic has unexpectedly dropped in on us unannounced, for an early spot check.

  ‘You okay?’ I ask Chris Smyth, my assistant manager and general right-hand woman round here. Now Chris is normally the personification of long blonde coolness; she’s worked for Ferndale for years, was seconded over from the UK weeks ago and I’ve yet to see the girl anything other than composed, efficient and bursting with energy. Whenever things get on top of me, she’s that rational voice of calmness in my ear that says, ‘It’s fine. You can do this. Just take it all one step at a time.’ Even at half seven in the morning, when the rest of us are still struggling to look alert on six hours’ sleep, she’s one of those people who are perpetually bright-eyed, alert and generally an all-round ray of sunshine.

  But not now.

  ‘Chloe, you’re needed upstairs, quick,’ the poor girl almost hyperventilates at me. ‘He’s here! Actually here. Now. One of his spot checks. And I had no idea we were even to expect him … I mean, nobody rang me from the UK to warn me, or anything, and the place isn’t nearly ready! So what are we going to do? The decorators are still working in the bar area and it’s a total mess … and then there’s the garden that still isn’t landscaped fully … and don’t get me started on all the snags we’re still dealing with …’

  ‘Shh, shh, Chris,’ I tell her as soothingly as I can, while half looking round my desk for a brown paper bag I can get the girl to breathe into. ‘For starters, who exactly has just landed in on us anyway?’

  Either President Michael D. Higgins, from the way she’s going on, or possibly one of U2 with the full entourage? And then it dawns on me.

  ‘Chris, by any chance are you trying to tell me that Rob McFayden is here? Upstairs? Right this minute?’

  ‘Waiting for you at Reception,’ she nods breathlessly. Almost with ‘and sooner you than me’ tattooed across her forehead.

  I gulp and try very hard just to breathe. This is okay, I tell myself, this is fine. I haven’t actually seen him since the day he first interviewed me, but of course I’ve been in almost daily contact with him over the phone. He has a habit of calling me at the oddest times and from the most unexpected corners of the globe, checking in on our progress. Hard not to get the impression that he still isn’t quite there yet when it comes to fully trusting me, but there you go.

  He was in Dubai, I know, last week. Paris before that. Then Rome the week before. Last time we talked, he said something about Milan. The guy must just live out of a suitcase and survive on plasticky airline food and little else. And all his calls are brisk, businesslike and generally all over in under four minutes.

  Of course, I’ve been keeping Rob McFayden fully updated. And okay yeah, so maybe I have painted a slightly more positive picture than I should have. Maybe I have, ahem, glossed over the cracks a little more than I should have done, but come on. Who doesn’t, when their boss calls demanding updates?

  Everything’s coming together beautifully, I’ve been calmly telling him. We’re as close to being on track and on target as it’s possible to be at this point. After all, someone as busy as Rob McFayden doesn’t need to be bothered with details about light fittings in the bedrooms and a bit of mud out in the back garden, I figured.

  But did I really, honestly think he wouldn’t land in on us to see how the place is coming together for himself? Course not. Just assumed I might get a bit of advance warning first, that’s all.

  Taking a deep breath, I squeeze Chris’s arm, say ‘Wish me luck!’ as brightly as I can, then trip up the main staircase that leads from the basement maze of offices up to Reception.

  Do NOT let nerves get the better of you, I tell myself sternly, clipping along as fast as tight shoes will allow. He hired you because somewhere deep down he must believe in you, so all you have to do is just believe in yourself. You CAN do this. And yes, agreed, the hotel is currently a work-in-progress and of course, Rob McFayden could find holes to pick with a thousand things if he really wanted to. But after all, we’re all working flat out here, aren’t we? How can it be humanly possible for us to do much more?

  I reach the top of the back stairs and sure enough, there he is, the man himself. Tall and lean, with salt and pepper hair, dressed like he just rolled out of bed in his own personal ‘uniform’ of a Gap t-shirt, jeans, trainers and a light blue sweater. Like it’s permanently dress-down Friday round here.

  Don’t get me wrong, I like my uniform, but the sight of Rob McFayden looking so Sunday morning casual instantly makes me feel like a right prissy frump, in my Ferndale Hotels navy blue suit, with name badge neatly pinned to it. Tall and authoritative, he’s chatting easily on his mobile with his full back to me. He hears the clickety-clack of my work high heels though, as I briskly walk along the marble tiled floor behind him, and turns round to face me.

  I mouth ‘Hi!’ and give a quick, nervous little wave, thinking, Do not, under any circumstances allow yourself to be intimidated. Just walk tall, act confident and sooner or later, the whole world will believe the lie.

  After all, it’s the first time I’ve seen him since the day he interviewed me, feck it, I’m entitled to be a bit antsy.

  ‘Just gimme one sec,’ he mimes back at me, with a quick half-wink and a ‘winding up’ gesture, as if to say he’s trying his best to end the call.

  Right. So obviously I’m expected to hang on then, and try and not look like I’m earwigging. Which is awkward, to say the least, given the conversation he happens to be having.

  ‘Yes, darling,’ he’s saying in a low voice down the phone. ‘Well, if that’s what you want, then that’s absolutely fine by me. You’re the boss!’

  Ahem. Well, you’re certainly not onto the bank manager, I think, eyes darting down and pretending to busy myself with much pointless tapping at the computer behind Reception. Tell you one thing though, whatever woman he’s talking to right now, she certainly knows how to keep the likes of Rob McFayden well and truly under her thumb.

  ‘Now you’re absolutely sure about this, love?’ he’s saying. ‘I just want you to be completely happy wherever we go, you know that.’

  Wow. Suddenly, it strikes me just how completely different his whole tone of voice is, even since the last time I met him. Right now, he sounds absolutely nothing like the intensely focused, businesslike whirl of energy who first interviewed me, all those weeks back. Instead, if anything, he sounds tender to whoever he’s onto, gentle even. Loving and warm. The exact polar opposite to what’s received wisdom within the industry about the mighty Rob McFayden.

  Wonders will never cease. Got to hand it to whoever this particular girlfriend is. If you can keep an alpha male like this in check, then world domination probably wouldn’t present too much of a challenge afterwards.

  Jeez, wait till I tell Chris, is my immediate, tacked-on thought.

  ‘Alright, say I pick you up on Saturday, usual time?’ Rob asks softly, like he doesn’t want me to hear. But even though I’m madly trying my best to pretend that there’s urgent business under the shelves behind the reception desk that needs my attention, it’s just impossible not to.

  ‘Alright, love,’ he says, finally wrapping it up. ‘That’s a date. Till then. Yes, me too, you know that.’

  Eeugh. Overhearing that almost feels like I’m invading his personal space. But he appears to have no such qualms though, just clicks off the phone and strides over to where I’m standing, hand outstretched.

  ‘Apologies about that. Had to take that call, you understand,’ he says, meeting my gaze with all the cool confidence of someone just off the pho
ne to their stockbroker.

  ‘Of course, emm … Mr McFayden,’ I smile back, brightly as I can, hoping against hope that I’m not flushing and sweating like a wino.

  ‘I told you, it’s Rob.’

  ‘Sorry, Rob. I have to warn you though, we weren’t expecting you to be in Dublin so soon. And as you can see, we still have a few snags we’re sorting out right now.’

  No sooner are the words out of my mouth than a power drill goes off in the background, which I practically have to shout to be heard over.

  ‘But you know we’re pretty much on schedule,’ I half yell at him over the racket, ‘I mean … obviously … give or take just a few last minute odds and ends round the place. Rest assured though, I’m pretty confident that we’ll be ready in plenty of time …’

  ‘Chloe?’ Rob interrupts, as the din from the power drill dies down.

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘You’re starting to sound nervous. Should I be worried?’

  ‘Oh, well, you know!’ I say in a voice that’s approximately half an octave higher than normal. ‘We’re just all a bit pressured round here today, what with builders and everything … and of course, if we’d known you were coming, then it goes without saying we’d have been …’

  ‘You think I haven’t seen the inside of a hotel that’s overrun with builders before?’

  ‘No, course not, I just meant that … well, we are two weeks from opening and I’d hate you to think we weren’t going to be ready in time, because you know, we’re all completely confident …’

  ‘Well, then. In that case, it seems my reputation as a complete bastard has gone before me,’ Rob says dryly, mouth twitching down at the corners. ‘I’m not here to fire hard-working staff because you’re all working flat out on last minute snags.’

  Okay, there is just no fecking response to that. So I just stand there, casting around wildly for some change of subject.

  ‘Well, you’ll be delighted to know I can’t even stay for long, actually,’ he says with a half-smile, like he’s actually enjoying my discomfort. ‘I’m actually en route back to London.’

  ‘Oh?’ I ask stupidly. ‘You mean, you’re not going to be around here for a few days, at least …?’

  ‘Not this time, I’m afraid. I’ve been in Milan since yesterday you see, and just happened to have a chink of time between flight connections today, so I arranged to catch my flight back to London from here. I wanted to see for myself just how the place is shaping up.’

  ‘Well … in that case, let me give you the full tour.’

  ‘Lead the way.’

  You’re in control here, Chloe, don’t forget that, I tell myself firmly. And yes, so maybe this is a work-in-progress and maybe there’s a pile of tweaks and snags that we’re still working through. Like the coffee tables we ordered still haven’t arrived for the drawing room yet. Plus the fact that the plumbers are still working on the bathroom fittings, in at least three of the en-suites upstairs. And the electricians, who still haven’t quite finished yet, have left so many wires and cross cables strewn across the floor of the dining room, it looks like someone spilt ten plates of spaghetti in there.

  I could go on and on, but come on, it’s a brand new hotel and we don’t even open for another two weeks yet! Surely even as notorious a perfectionist as Rob McFayden has to make allowances here? It will all come together in time. Because it just has to. It’s a good, sobering thought, and the more I keep telling myself that, the more I actually believe it.

  Wordlessly, like he’s on a very tight schedule, he strides a few paces ahead of me as we make our way from the elegant hallway where Reception is, to the lounge area just on the left. It’s an old drawing room that our interior design team have worked wonders on. They’ve completely converted it from a slightly cold and forbidding Georgian reception room into a relaxed, warm and welcoming space, with a huge open fireplace, bookcases stuffed with leather-bound books and a stunning Louise Kennedy chandelier that never fails to take my breath away. The furniture is fabulous too, sofas covered in gorgeous lavender damask fabric, long cream silk cushions and curtains to match and tastefully chosen paintings dotting the walls. The designers really have thought of everything; even the fabrics have been carefully covered in protective plastic, till the builders finally leave us in peace.

  The Lavender Room, as we’ve taken to calling it and I’m bloody proud of what we’ve done here; it’s elegant and graceful, yet so comfortable and inviting too; the kind of place designed to chill out in. Just perfect for the clientele we’re hoping to attract. An awful lot of work went into it, but instead of having a good, thorough nose around, Rob just strides around the perimeter, checks the view from the window, plonks down on one of the sofas, as though testing it for squidginess, and then is straight back up on his feet again. Like he’s seen all he wants to and is anxious to move on. Fast.

  ‘So,’ I tell him, flailing my arms around like a tour guide, ‘you’ll notice the fireplace in here has been completely restored and the chandelier was specially ordered in from …’

  ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lovely. Great. Purple walls, whatever.’

  ‘Eh, actually they’re lavender.’

  ‘You’ll have to forgive me,’ he says dryly, ‘but then I doubt there’s many guys who’d successfully be able to distinguish between purple and lavender. Okay to keep moving?’

  ‘Emm … riiight. But, you know there’s still an awful lot in here I’d like to point out to you …’

  ‘Apologies for this, Chloe,’ he cuts across me, ‘but I haven’t got long till I’ve to get back to the airport, I’m afraid. For the moment at least, this needs to be just an initial whistle-stop tour. So come on, impress me.’

  ‘Well sure, but don’t you want to know when the painters will finish the skirting boards in here? Or why the …’

  ‘Do I look like the kind of guy who’s interested in skirting boards?’

  There’s just no right answer to that.

  ‘I haven’t time to be a micromanager,’ he goes on, striding for the door so fast, I nearly have to sprint to keep up. ‘Which is exactly why you’re here, you see. Your job is to worry about all the ins and outs for me. Mine is to oversee it as and when I can, and to bollock everyone out of it, if necessary. And here, so far at least, I can see I don’t have to. So come on, show me the bar now.’

  I’m just trying to figure out if that was an actual compliment or not, but there’s no time. Two seconds later and we’re on the move to the fabulous bar area, which is also just off Reception, right behind the Lavender Room. It’s old-fashioned in style, completely in keeping with the age of the house, mahogany and wood panelled. Which, with full credit to the design team, is looking remarkably well. Deep, plush green leather sofas are dotted around with a pale green silk fabric covering the walls. It’s going to be stunning, completely breathtaking and yet once again, Rob says nothing, just strides around, taking it all in and nodding every now and then. Jeez, I think. All the money this is costing him and he’s not inspecting it more closely?

  Tommy Kennedy, our ridiculously attractive barman is in situ, unloading crates and setting up behind the bar, so I introduce him to Rob.

  ‘Howaya,’ Tommy grins cheekily as they shake hands, but then Tommy’s just not the type to get remotely fazed by the fact that his boss’s boss has just landed in on top of him.

  Tommy is by far the youngest staff member we’ve got round here, just twenty-four, built like a rugby prop forward and with a Kerry accent that makes absolutely everything he says sound adorable. Chris and I interviewed him a few weeks back and hired him on the spot. He’s a fantastic mixologist and it’s always a bonus, as she wisely pointed out, to have a barman who looks like something out of a Gillette ad in any hotel. Particularly one where a whole lot of soon-to-be single women will be floating about.

  ‘Good to meet you,’ Rob says, ‘you certainly look busy.’

  ‘Ah sure, all in a day’s work, boy. You know yourself.’

  Rob
just nods and immediately strides past a fabulously relaxed seating area and throws open double doors that lead to a terrace outside with steps leading down to the garden below. It’s my favourite part of the whole building actually, where I figure either a) smokers can knock themselves out or b) our soon-to-be-divorced guests can take a little breather to chill out in the enclosed, landscaped garden, far away from all talk about lawyers and problems and financial settlements.

  At least, that’s the plan. Once the garden is finished, that is. But right now, tiny and all as it is, it’s more of a mud bath than actual garden and the landscapers are still working away on it, looking scarily like months and not weeks away from completion.

  At that thought, my anxiety levels shoot upwards just as the landscaper calls cheekily up at me, as we step outside and look down at all the work that’s going on. ‘Howaya Chloe!’ he waves. ‘Any chance of a cuppa tea there, love?’

  ‘Be with you shortly, Jack!’ I smile back, then turn to where Rob is right behind me, arms folded, quick, grey eyes taking in absolutely everything. ‘Well, you’ve got to look after your staff, don’t you?’ I shrug, trying to laugh it off.

  ‘Certainly do,’ he nods, eyes busily scanning every last little thing.

  ‘Now okay, I know it’s all looking ages away from being ready in time, but trust me, it will be. Jack’s got it all in hand,’ I say, trying to sound confident about it. ‘Don’t you, Jack?’ I call down to him.

  ‘Givvus a chance, will you love? Can’t go any faster!’ he yells cheerfully back. ‘And where’s me tea?’