Love Me Or Leave Me

by Claudia Carroll

  The room chortled along and Andrew vividly remembered sitting there utterly transfixed. He was newly separated, and for the first time in twenty-five years, found himself if not exactly young, then certainly free and single. The wives of various board members at the table had all been dressed in sombre black, whereas Lucy was in vivid scarlet, a colour she seemed to dominate. As only she could.

  He’d sat there as she addressed the room and almost felt cartoon-like, so sure was he that steam was beginning to come out of his ears. That body, that face, those endless legs …

  ‘You’re drooling, stop it,’ he remembered the CEO’s wife had teased him, but Andrew had barely registered her. He made a point of seeking out Lucy afterwards and inviting her to join their table. And she seemed just to light up his whole evening from then on, like she never failed to do. Till she’d bounced along, conversation round the table had been about golf handicaps, the shocking price of maintenance fees on your average villa in Marbella and who was on a waiting list for a hip operation.

  But with Lucy, suddenly everything changed. She was funny, fearless and fabulous, she lived life on her own terms and didn’t care what anyone thought. There and then, Andrew was a man completely smitten. In work the next day, he’d made a point of tracking her down and managed to get hold of her booking agent’s number. And the rest was history.

  ‘And that was when you knew for certain?’ Dawn interrupted his train of thought.

  ‘It was like my whole life suddenly went from black and white to glorious Technicolor,’ he said. ‘If that makes any sense.’

  ‘Yeah,’ she nodded, focused on a rockery straight ahead of them. ‘Yes, it does.’

  ‘How about you?’

  ‘Seems like another lifetime ago,’ she said. ‘Kirk is a yoga instructor and one fine day, he just called into the store where I work.’

  ‘Don’t tell me,’ Andrew smiled. ‘Your eyes locked across a crowded shop floor and that was it?’

  ‘Not quite. He was giving out flyers for the Yoga Rooms where he works and he asked if he could put one in our window. So I said yeah and … and that pretty much would have been the end of that, only the thing was … I just … had to see him again. So myself and my pal from work signed up for one of his yoga classes and I made sure to turn up in my tightest leggings and skinniest crop top.’

  ‘I’m sure he was very taken with you.’

  ‘Funny, not at first. He was lovely and sweet to me but then he’s lovely and sweet to everyone. But then we were doing this weird position where you have to lie prostrate on your tummy with one arm and one leg stuck up in the air. Everyone else in the class was doing it no bother, but when I tried, all you could hear was this awful cracking noise and it turned out I’d broken one of my floating ribs.’

  ‘What? I thought yoga was supposed to be good for you?’

  ‘You’d think, wouldn’t you? But not if your name is Dawn Madden, it seems. Anyway, Kirk insisted on taking me to the A & E for an X-ray. Waited round for me and everything. Sat with me for hours while I had to hang around to be seen by a doctor. Kept running to get me bottles of water and even gave me a reiki healing while we were sitting there.’

  ‘I’m sorry, he gave you a what?’ said Andrew, puzzled.

  ‘Reiki. You know, it’s the laying on of hands, to transfer energy.’

  ‘Does it actually work?’

  ‘Not really, no. But I liked Kirk so much I pretended it did. And then when I was all bandaged up and ready to leave, he insisted on walking me home. So I asked him up for coffee, and … well, that was it really. I just knew there and then. Just like you did.’

  ‘And now here we are.’

  ‘And now here we are,’ Dawn smiled. For the first time, Andrew noticed, since he’d sat down. ‘We sound like two prisoners, don’t we? Swapping “what are you in for?” stories. Wonder if we could just stage a mass breakout? Like they do in movies? Just climb over the back wall there and make a run for it?’

  ‘Doubtless searchlights would instantly start beaming at us, an alarm would go off and the hotel would release teams of trained Alsatians after us.’

  And now Dawn gave a light, girlish little giggle. Good, Andrew thought. If nothing else, then at least I’ve brightened up someone’s day.

  ‘I take it this wouldn’t be your preferred course of action, then,’ he said, though it wasn’t really a question. Blatantly obvious that this poor girl was the divorcee here, and not the prime instigator of all this. Not unlike himself, really.

  ‘No, it’s not that,’ Dawn said thoughtfully. ‘I’ve got no other choice but to be here. Believe me when I tell you, if I could change things I would, but I can’t.’

  ‘Would it help to talk about it? I’m a good listener, or so I’ve been told.’

  ‘You’re kind but … no. At least not now. I just can’t. It’s already been a grueller of an evening, you see … and well … I’m afraid I really let Kirk have it earlier. Don’t even know what came over me, except that we haven’t had any contact in so long, that once I got into the same room as him, there was suddenly no shutting me up.’

  ‘Clearing the air can only be a good thing,’ Andrew said, only wishing that he and Lucy could do the same. ‘Did it make you feel any better?’

  ‘Don’t ask.’

  ‘Not if you don’t want me to,’ Andrew said, tactfully dismissing the subject.

  ‘What about you though?’ Dawn asked, suddenly turning the tables. ‘You and Lucy Belter – sorry, Belton – well, it’s none of my business, but the two of you were always in the papers being photographed at all these glamorous dos and you just looked like you were having such a good time together. How did you end up here?’

  ‘It’s not all that easy to describe how things first began to unravel.’

  ‘Who are you telling?’ Dawn groaned, throwing her eyes to heaven.

  ‘I know Lucy firmly puts the blame on my two children. From my first marriage, that is.’

  ‘Your children? But why? What did they have to do with it?’

  ‘Let’s just say they may not have been as welcoming towards a new stepmother as I would have hoped.’

  ‘But why would they be like that? Surely they were happy to see you happy?’

  And now it was Andrew’s turn to stare straight ahead in stony silence. God bless Dawn’s innocence for even asking. Though it was a question he’d asked himself many times over in the past few miserable months and one he certainly wasn’t proud to answer.

  ‘You see my children – who are both several years older than you, my dear – could never bring themselves to forgive either of us for what we’d done. Or rather for what I’d done. For what I’d put my family through. For falling in love so quickly after I’d separated from my first wife and then as soon as my divorce had come through, for remarrying. The way they saw it, there was a price to be paid, and by God, did they make sure we paid it. With interest.’

  ‘But what did you do that was so awful? After all, you were separated when you and Lucy first met, weren’t you?’

  Andrew gave a long, weary sigh. And yet somehow, it felt easy to open up to this complete stranger, this non-judgmental young girl who clearly had been through worse herself.

  ‘Technically yes, though that’s not how my children saw it. To my eternal shame, I have to say that any family breaking up, no matter what age the kids happen to be at, even if they’re grown adults, is one of the most painful things a parent can inflict on them. My ex-wife had hoped that in time she and I might reconcile, but when Lucy and I fell for each other so fast … well … you can just imagine.’

  ‘So what happened with your children?’

  After a lengthy pause, Andrew just said, ‘Let’s not go there. Some other time, maybe. So, what about you? You and your ex sounded so happy and well-suited. What can possibly have gone wrong there?’

  A pause, while Dawn pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them tight.

  ‘Kirk had an affair,’ Dawn told him
simply.

  ‘Then Kirk is clearly an idiot.’

  ‘And it’s ongoing.’

  ‘I see,’ Andrew said thoughtfully. ‘And may I ask if you know the other woman involved?’

  ‘Who said anything about it being another woman?’

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chloe.

  ‘You look like you could do with this,’ says Chris, handing me over a warm and welcome mug of tea. ‘Though after the evening we’ve had around here, I’m guessing a vodka and tonic would probably be far more in order.’

  ‘Bless you, sweetheart,’ I say, gratefully taking the mug from her, slumping exhaustedly back on my office chair and rubbing tired, red eyes. It’s coming up to a quarter to twelve at night and I still have all my nighttime rounds to do before I can hand over to the duty manager, clock off for the night and finally get home and catch up on some sleep.

  ‘But if it’s all the same with you,’ I smile back at her, ‘let’s save that drink till the very last guest has checked out of here first thing Monday morning. God knows, I’ll probably need it then. Certainly if this evening’s shenanigans were anything to go by.’

  ‘Oh come on now, it wasn’t all that bad,’ Chris reassures me, trying her best to sound positive. Bless her, she has the loveliest habit of being able to completely tune out the negative. In fact, everyone should have a Chris in their office to cheer them up, particularly after a day like the one I’ve had. She’s kind of like a long, blonde Pollyanna round here.

  ‘After all, the majority of our couples are settling in well and getting on with each other brilliantly –’

  ‘Chris, I’ve two couples who I almost had to call security to deal with earlier and another guest who more or less passed out in the back garden and had to be strong-armed all the way to her room.’

  ‘Okay, so we’ve got three couples that might be causing us a little bit of trouble …’

  ‘Did you just say a little?’ I groan back at her, slumping forward on my desk, head in hands. ‘How did I let them in here in the first place? I should have been held back, someone should have physically held me back …’

  ‘Can I remind you you’re talking about three couples out of twenty-four guests in total? Not bad going, if you ask me.’

  She’s being way too lovely but the truth – and I know it – is that the buck rests solely with me and only me as to how this inaugural weekend pans out.

  Mother of God, I shudder as yet another memory from this evening comes back to haunt me. Me, having to undress poor Lucy Belton and ease her into bed, pretty much the way you would with a small child. Even saw all her lady bits while I was struggling to help her out of that tight little bandage of a dress she was wearing, including body parts you’d normally only see if you were giving someone a very intimate bikini wax.

  Times like this, I honestly don’t think I get paid enough. Anyway, I make a mental note to have a private little chat with her first thing in the morning. The girl is going to feel like hell on earth after she’s slept it off and I’m guessing she’ll need a sympathetic ear to tell her she didn’t behave as badly as she might have remembered. That’s part of a hotel manager’s job sometimes: lying to guests to make them feel slightly less bad than they already do.

  ‘Let’s be honest, the whole evening was a bloody, out-and-out disaster!’ I moan at Chris. ‘So what are we going to do now? If tonight was anything to go by, this time tomorrow someone could end up with blood on their hands.’

  My head is slumped exhaustedly in my hands now as one nightmarish image after another starts to crowd in on me. Things are bad enough, but suppose they get worse? Suppose little Dawn Madden maybe smashes a bottle into Kirk’s face over brekkie? While he probably spouts some crap like ‘She’s only acting like this because her chakras are out of alignment.’ Jeez, I’d probably be tempted to whack him one myself.

  Or maybe Dave will decide to lock himself into Jo’s room and threaten to jump out the top floor window if she doesn’t reconsider giving him another chance? I take a brief, shuddering moment to digest the image. To be perfectly honest, given his carry-on tonight, I wouldn’t put anything past the guy with a few drinks in him.

  As for Lucy? If she was this bad tonight, God only knows what she’ll get up to tomorrow. Then there’s Andrew, that stoic, gentlemanly husband of hers. The hurt, pained look on his face as I carted her off in the lift will be imprinted on the back of my eyeballs for a long, long time to come.

  ‘Anyway, leaving all that aside for now,’ I tell Chris, as I catch the poor girl trying to stifle a yawn. ‘You should scoot off and get some rest, if you can. Today was bad enough, but believe me, tomorrow things are going to heat up round here even more.’

  She’s halfway out the door, when my mobile rings.

  The minute I glance down at the caller ID, I’m suddenly sitting up straight and back on high alert. Him, yet again. Rob. Sure, who else would be calling me at this hour? And of course, it’s another spot check phone call.

  Which of course is absolutely fine and I’d expect no less from the boss. It’s just that this is approximately the fifteenth of these calls so far today, not counting emails, faxes, Skype calls, etc. And it’s just so bloody late at night. And still he won’t let on what corner of the globe he’s in or more importantly, when we can expect him to land in on us. Mother of God, is it any wonder my brains are like mince?

  ‘Rob, hi, how are you?’ I say, trying my best to snap myself awake and instantly sound alert.

  The minute she hears who I’m onto, Chris stands frozen, half in and half out the door. Which looks almost comical, were I in the mood to laugh.

  ‘So? I hope you’re going to tell me our first evening was a roaring success?’ Rob asks, cutting straight to the chase as always. And as ever, I have to strain to hear him. Sounds like he’s calling me from a car that keeps moving in and out of a crappy signal.

  ‘Emm … yes, I think overall everything went pretty well,’ I tell him as Chris gives me two big thumbs up, before disappearing out the door.

  No, things did not go well. We could well have a homicide on the premises before this weekend is out.

  ‘No problems you need to raise with me? It’s just there were a few raised voices in the background last time we spoke and I was concerned.’

  Oh please. Where do I bleeding start?

  ‘Chloe? You there?’ And there’s just the slightest hint of concern in the tone of his voice.

  ‘Em … no, nothing for now. And that row you overheard? It was a couple in a mediation session, but … well, it’s not really anything that I can tell you over the phone,’ I say worriedly.

  ‘That sounds ominous. Anything I can do to help?’

  Ehh … maybe start looking round for a new General Manager? Because after this weekend, I could end up getting propelled to the back of a dole queue so fast, it actually makes my head spin. Because three couples causing trouble for us means three couples that I didn’t screen properly, which all in all, doesn’t exactly add up to good news if your name is Chloe Townsend.

  ‘Absolutely nothing, thanks. So if you’ll excuse me, I’m just off to do my nighttime rounds before …’

  Suddenly, an alarm goes off in the background. And there’s no mistaking that ear-piercing racket.

  Oh, sweet holy shit no. Please, please, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t let this be happening …

  But it is happening. The fire alarm. No mistaking it. In all its ear-piercing, deafening glory. And it’s even louder than when we did a few trial runs with it a few weeks ago. Head-splittingly so.

  ‘Sorry about this Rob, I have to go, I’ll call you back,’ I have to shout at him abruptly, yet again trying to keep the hysteria out of my voice and doing a pretty crap job of it. I don’t even say goodbye, just race out of the office and upstairs and instantly, automatically begin fire drill and evacuations, panic driving me.

  Supposing this is serious is all I can think, worry working like yeast on my mind. After
all, if anyone is injured – or worse – then this could potentially close us. Could finish this Ferndale Hotel off, before it’s barely opened. We’d end up being the hospitality industry’s equivalent of the Titanic, sunk on our maiden weekend. And suppose a guest or a member of staff is seriously hurt? Or even worse?

  Tommy comes racing out of the bar and Chris is already bolting upstairs, just like we’re all trained to do. We’ve rehearsed this, we’ve drilled it time and time again, never for a second thinking we’d need to put the plan into action on our very first weekend. We all know exactly where we’re supposed to be and when. Even if – please God – this is just a hoax or turns out to be absolutely nothing, it still doesn’t matter. All fire alarms must be taken seriously. Particularly in a listed Georgian building like this one, where a fire could break out literally anywhere.

  And suddenly it’s a case of all hands on deck, as any and all staff still on the premises leap to it. All around me I can see uniforms flying here, there and everywhere, opening all exit doors to marshal guests safely outside.

  The fire brigade are automatically alerted the minute an emergency like this breaks out, and they even call me back to tell me they’re on the way. Trouble is, in all of the chaos and with the racket of the alarm blaring away in the background, I can hardly hear a word they’re trying to tell me.

  ‘Evacuate all guests out of the hotel immediately,’ a man’s voice is barking down the phone at me, sergeant-major style as I race up to the top floor to start doing exactly that. ‘And once they’re outside, don’t let anyone back in again …’

  ‘I’M SORRY,’ I have to yell back over the alarm. ‘CAN YOU SPEAK UP PLEASE?’

  ‘Remember the lift is completely out of bounds –’

  ‘IT’S OKAY, IT’S AUTOMATICALLY DEACTIVATED WHENEVER THE ALARM GOES OFF …’

  ‘Also, make sure you feel all door handles before opening them. If they’re hot to touch, don’t open them. If there’s a guest trapped inside a room, we’ll get them out through a window.’