Worth the Fight: Blue Falls Book 3

by Stella James

  As suddenly as the moment began, it ends. I feel the absence of him instantly and I wonder if he felt the same anticipation that I did. When I finally turn to face him, his expression is an unpleasant mix of resentment and annoyance although his eyes are darker than usual and there is no mistaking the need within them. I don’t know what to say as we awkwardly stand there and watch each other. I am certain the flush I feel creeping up my neck is a dead giveaway to the effect he just had on me.

  “Did you catch anything?” I ask, my voice is rough and when I clear my throat he runs his hands over his face, the gesture is a clear indication of his frustration. Welcome to the club.

  “Katie. Just go home and leave me the fuck alone.”

  “I can’t do that, Asher. I told you that yesterday and I’ll keep telling you every damn day if I have to until you accept it,” my voice is stronger now and I do my best to push down my wayward lust.

  He takes a deep breath and turns back the way he came. It isn’t long before I hear that damn axe again.

  Chapter 6

  Asher

  I stand in the kitchen and look out the small window at the woman who refuses to leave me alone. She’s running around the yard with a dirty chunk of rope in her hand, teasing the dog until he chases her. She gives him the rope when she feels he’s earned it and scratches him behind the ears, beaming with pride the entire time. I can feel the corners of mouth trying to turn up but the urge quickly disappears. I wonder if I’ll ever feel the joy that simple things used to bring me. It’s been one week since Katie showed up at my door and in that time we’ve hardly spoken. We live two separate lives yet sleep under the same roof. Every day I do my best to pretend like she isn’t here. I do the same shit that I’ve been doing since I returned to Blue Falls. Fish, drink, and work myself until I’m past the point of caring about anything and anyone. Luckily there’s enough work around here to keep me busy. I’ve been fixing up the long list of repairs that my old man can’t seem to get around to, it was my promise to get all this shit done that has kept my parents from showing up and harassing me. I can’t have Katie go and fuck that up so I’ve put up with her and done my best not to lose it when she’s around. Every night she cooks supper and leaves my plate sitting on the counter, and every night I wait until she’s sleeping before I bother coming to fetch it. A lot about Katie has changed over the years, the thin frame of the teenage girl I once knew has been replaced with the curves and softness of a woman. She’s always been tall but she’s more confident with her height now than she was in high school. Some things remain familiar, she still talks to herself when she thinks no one is listening and she still can’t cook worth shit. I catch her eyes on me now and then and I don’t know what irritates me more, the fact that it pleases me or the fact that I find myself watching her with the same appreciation. It’s been a long time since I was in the company of a woman for an extended period of time. During my time in the army I relied on one night stands to blow off steam and the rest of my time was spent among fellow soldiers. Having Katie here is starting to fuck with my head. I can’t believe how close I was to making a move on her in the kitchen the other day. Seeing her in those tight God damn pants and catching the faint smell of her perfume every time she enters a room is sending my cock all kinds of mixed messages.

  She turns and heads back toward the cabin but stops short when a small SUV pulls into the yard. Katie smiles wide and waves as an attractive red head steps out of the vehicle and hands her a pink bakers’ box. They stand there and talk for a few minutes before the woman gets back in her vehicle and leaves. The door opens and Katie looks surprised to see me standing there.

  “I didn’t realize you were here, I thought you took the boat out,” she says.

  “I did.” I see the disappointment flash in her eyes at my clipped response but she recovers quickly.

  “Here, you have to try one of these,” she opens the box and shoves it towards me. I don’t move an inch. The hurt in her eyes is brief before she shrugs her shoulders and sets the box on the counter.

  “Your loss,” she says as she brings one of the chocolate treats up to her lips. She takes a bite and moans with satisfaction before swiping her tongue across her full lips. An innocent reaction on her part manages to harden my dick in a matter of seconds. The fact that I’m having a reaction to her at all confuses and annoys me. I need to get laid, that’s the problem. I don’t remember the name of the last woman I hooked up with. It was in the back alley behind some bar that I stopped at while making my way back to Blue Falls. I was drunk and pissed off and she was willing. I fucked her against a brick wall and hardly had my zipper up before I walked away from her.

  “Asher?”

  I shake off the memory and meet her puzzled expression. She has chocolate smeared just under her bottom lip, begging to be tasted. For fuck sake.

  “Yeah?”

  “You were pretty lost in thought. Where did you go?” She asks.

  “Nowhere that concerns you,” I grab a beer from the fridge and take a long sip. She shakes her head and laughs bitterly.

  “You should be careful, Asher. Even I have a limit.”

  She closes the box without another word and goes back outside where it’s warm.

  *

  I can feel the heat of the flames as if I am in hell itself. My uniform is melting into my skin as I am pulled from the truck that is now engulfed in fire. The pain is unbearable and I can’t keep my eyes open. I hear someone screaming in such agony that it doesn’t even sound human. When the flames that cover part of my body are extinguished, I realize that I am the one screaming.

  “Asher? Asher, wake up.”

  Her voice calls to me and brings me back to the present. My heart is beating so loud that I can barely hear her. I sit up and try to rub the memory from my eyes. The pounding in my head is so loud that I can’t even think straight. She pulls my hands down and replaces them with her own. She holds my face in her delicate palms and tells me to slow down. Her eyes hold mine as she breathes with me. Everything begins to slow down until it’s just the two of us. She chases the flames away and the fog is lifted. She removes her hands and I feel instant disappointment at the lack of her touch.

  “Are you okay?” She asks.

  I can’t speak so I simply nod. She gets up from the bed and comes back with a glass of cold water which I chug back gratefully. She takes the empty glass from my shaking hands and sets it on the nightstand before urging me to lay back down. I don’t fight her when she stays above the covers but lays down beside me. We remain silent until the rhythm of my pounding heart slows down and I feel some of the tension in my body begin to ease. The ends of her hair tickle my arm and when I inhale, it’s the faint scent of her flowery perfume that invades my senses. I find it soothing to have her beside me like this and for the first time since she arrived I don’t want her to be anywhere but right here. With me.

  “Do you remember that time on the playground when Carl Ross was making fun of you for talking to me? I think we were like seven. Anyways, he was giving you a hard time telling you that only losers hang out with girls and that you might as well be wearing a dress too,” she laughs lightly. “Do you remember what you said to him? You told him that only a loser would walk away from a girl who was nice enough to talk to him.”

  I can hear her smile.

  “Carl Ross was a dickhead,” I grumble.

  “Yes, he was. He’s married now, his wife just gave birth to their fourth child a few months ago. All girls,” she snickers.

  I can feel the beginning of my own smile and although it feels foreign, it feels normal. I feel her slim hand grasp mine and rather than pull away, I accept the gesture. I close my eyes and allow her voice to lead me back to sleep.

  “You’re safe, Asher. I’m here.” That’s the last thing I hear before I fall back into a dreamless sleep.

  I open my eyes just as the room is beginning to fill with light. Katie and I are still facing each other, her eyes are closed
and her hands rest underneath her cheek. She’s still above the covers and I can see the faint trace of goosebumps scattered along her smooth skin. She’s wearing a worn out grey T-shirt with our old high school logo on the front. Her red flannel shorts are sitting high on her thighs and she’s wearing fluffy pink socks. She’s so beautiful it makes my chest hurt. She opens her eyes and meets my stare with a smile. I can’t stop myself before my hand is reaching out and I gently trace one finger down the length of her arm. She lowers her lashes and sighs in content. I shift forward as she looks back up at me with uncertainty but also want. She licks her lips and I can see her chest rise and lower with a bit more effort than before. I’m losing a battle with myself and any logical reason to not put my mouth on hers has been silenced.

  “Asher,” she whispers.

  The loud ringing of a cell phone fills the air just as Asshole comes barreling into the room and onto the bed. The feeling of peace that overwhelmed me just minutes ago is replaced by a shadow of animosity. I get up from the bed and take the dog without a backwards glance.

  Chapter 7

  Kate

  Almost another week has passed since I witnessed Asher in the throes of a nightmare. The tortured expression on his face while he called out in his sleep was heartbreaking. I stayed with him all night, not allowing myself to fall asleep until I could hear the steady rhythm of his own breathing. He slept the remainder of the night in peace and when I woke up the next morning to find him watching me, it was like being caught in a quiet storm. The way his eyes traveled the length of my body filled me with blatant curiosity. When the moment was unceremoniously ruined he left the room and our paths hardly crossed for the remainder of the day. We haven’t talked about what happened. Not the nightmare or what could have easily happened between us the following morning, mostly because when I bring it up he grunts like a caveman and leaves the room.

  I pluck another weed from the overgrown flowerbed and chuck it over my shoulder. I would never admit it, but I’m starting to go a bit stir crazy spending day after day away from civilization. I’ve read most of the books I brought with me and although I enjoy being outside, it’s beginning to get lonely enjoying it by myself. I decided today that I might as well be useful. I’ve been pulling weeds for the last hour. Asher pretty much does his own thing every day. I know he’s been working on the cabin, repairing various things and replacing others. I’m starting to feel like maybe I bit off more than I can chew. I want to help him and I want to be here for him but he’s just so damn pissed off all the time and when he’s not pissed off, he’s pretending that I don’t exist. He drinks himself to sleep every night in what I assume is an attempt to keep his memories at bay and I’m afraid that if something doesn’t change soon, he’ll be too far gone for even me to reach. On top of all of that, this thing between us is adding more strain to an already delicate situation and the fact that I don’t know how to classify it or whether or not it actually means something makes me feel so damn uncertain. I hate that feeling. My lust is developing a mind of its own and every time I see him swinging that axe, his muscles flexing and sweat dripping down his neck I want to climb all over him. We’ve known each other for so long but I’ve missed out on the last decade of knowing Asher as a man and apparently my vagina thinks he’s something pretty damn special. The beep of my phone shakes me from my thoughts. I peel the gloves from my hands and reach in my back pocket.

  Mona: Kate. It’s me, Mona. Remember me? I’m your incredibly attractive, funny, and fucking amazing best friend. Perhaps you’ll do me the honour of letting me know that you’re still alive. Although if you’re not, your leather pants are mine.

  I smile as I reply. Mona has been like a sister to me since we were practically babies. She’s outrageous, loud, and I love her to death.

  Me: I’m still alive, living the country life. Much to Asher’s dismay. I think he’s counting the days until I leave.

  Mona: Awe sweetie, he just needs time to adjust to this whole “new life” thing.

  Me: I don’t know what to do. I’m so worried about him all the time. I can’t force him to talk to me, or he’ll close off completely. I’m already pushing it by staying when he clearly doesn’t want me here.

  Mona: Patience grasshopper. He’ll come around when he’s ready and you’ll be there for him when the time comes.

  Me: When did you get so wise?

  Mona: Pffft. I’ve ALWAYS been the smart cookie, you’re just late to the party. Love you.

  Me: Love you more.

  Talking to Mona always cheers me up. During the time I was in Germany she somehow managed to meet an amazing older man and is now ridiculously in love. Walker Powell is the only man on the planet who can handle her without needing an instruction manual and they make a great couple. Thinking about them together makes me reflect on my own pitiful track record. I’ve dated. I’ve had sex, both good and bad but I’ve never met someone that I could imagine myself growing old with. Mona and Cole always tell me I’m too picky but I don’t think so. I just don’t want to spend the rest of my life being bored. As if hearing my thoughts, Asher walks around the corner, his worn out jeans riding low on his hips. His hair is pulled back and his white T-shirt fits snug against his chest. I stare like a starving woman. Jesus Kate, you’re here to help the man adjust back into civilian life, not to fantasize about his dick. Although, if the outline in that region is…

  “Katie.”

  “Uh, yeah, what’s up?”

  I stand up from where I’m crouching and stretch the kinks from my back and shoulders. His eyes glance briefly at my chest and for a split second I think I see something other than aggravation in his expression. Whatever I think I saw quickly disappears and based on the way he’s looking at me now, I’ve hit a nerve. Again.

  “I’m heading to town, I won’t be back until late. Lock up before you go to bed.”

  He goes inside and practically slams the door. Alright then, I guess after taking one small step forward, we’re going to take ten steps back.

  *

  The buzzing of my phone wakes me up, I fumble in the dark until I find it laying on the floor beside the couch. It’s a text from my brother.

  Cole: You might want to get down to Mac’s. Asher’s been here for a while, he’s not looking too good and he wants nothing to do with me or Trace.

  Me: I’ll be there in 20.

  I walk through the front door of Mac’s pub and brace myself for Asher’s reaction. I spot Trace and Cole up at the bar and follow Cole’s nod over to a corner booth where Asher is sitting by himself. Empty shot glasses and beer bottles litter the table in front of him. I slide into the booth beside him, he doesn’t bother looking up. His words are slurred, his tone impatient.

  “Let me guess, Cole?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Does anyone in your family know how to mind their own fucking business?”

  “Apparently not. Are you ready to leave?”

  “Nope.”

  I push my chair back and stand. Asher doesn’t budge. “I left Asshole behind, he’s going to need to go out soon.” It’s a cheap shot but I know Asher has a soft spot for him. Sure enough, he stands and stumbles beside me through the bar. I give my brother an appreciative smile and shake my head at his silent offer to help.

  Asher passes out on and off during the drive home, I park as close to the porch as I can and manage to shake him conscious enough to walk mostly on his own from the car to the front door. I don’t bother following him as he staggers through the living room and down the hallway to his bedroom. I lock up and check on him quickly before crawling back into my own bed. He’s passed out on his side, snoring without a care in the world. I wish appearances weren’t so deceiving.

  *

  I turn on the coffee maker and salivate over the heavenly scent of caffeine. I slept like total shit last night. I leave the coffee to brew and head to the bedroom to find Asher still passed out. He hasn’t moved an inch. I don’t know how it’s possible to be so w
orried about someone but also want to kill them at the same time, but that’s exactly how I feel. Enough is enough. I’ve got one week left before I have to go back to work and apparently my methods are failing miserably. I lift my foot and kick him in the leg as hard as I can. He jerks awake and drapes his arm over his eyes.

  “Fucking hell, Katie. Get out,” he groans.

  “We need to talk. So get up, brush your God damn teeth and meet me in the kitchen.”

  I don’t wait for his reply as I stomp out of the room and back to where the coffee is. It takes him a good twenty minutes, but he finally emerges, looking dishevelled and miserable and of course hot as hell. Seeing him so casually barefoot in worn jeans and an old T-shirt has the power to make me momentarily forget my words. I pour him a cup and set it on the table. I keep my voice calm and sincere. You can’t fight fire with fire.

  “You have to stop doing this, Asher. You hardly sleep unless you’re passed out, you’re angry all the time and you don’t talk to anyone but the damn dog. I’m worried about you. Can’t you see that?”

  He leans against the kitchen sink and I brace myself for his reply, willing myself to stay strong for both of us.

  “Yeah, well I didn’t ask for you to come out here. I didn’t ask for your advice or your help. Jesus Christ, Katie, have you not been listening to me for the last two weeks? I don’t want you here. I don’t want anyone here.” He nearly shouts the words. But I’m not about to back down. I can’t.